Stay At Home Mothering after kids start school?
The benefits of being a stay-at-home-mom while your children are still at home all day are obvious and plentiful, but some people change their minds after their children enter school. If you stayed at home after school began, what are some of the pros and cons you've found from being a SAHM of school-aged children?
There are so many answers to this one!! Here are some of mine.
* The world needs volunteers! (So does your child's school.) Teach a (free) class. Bake for your local homeless shelter. Volunteer in your child's classroom or library, or your church/synagogue. Keep your skills sharp from your chosen career by doing any or all of these things!
* Your child still needs you to be on top of things. If he is special needs, or has allergies, or anything that requires you to be in-the-know, it's not a bad thing to still be at home to help him.
* Summers, sick days, and other vacations. Need I say more?
* Many people find that couponing and shopping for bargains helps keep costs down enough so that going back to work is not financially the better idea... believe it or not! Working moms often don't have time to do these things, and end up spending more than they need to.
* If you do decide to take charge of your kids' education (by homeschooling them, or after-schooling with them), you will have an easier time of it as a SAHM. :)
Hope this helps someone!!
It is entirely up to the individual, and depends upon personal circumstance. But in my personal opinion that there is no work you can do upon this earth that will have greater value or meaning than raising your own children. Abraham Lincoln said something along the lines of : 'the greatest service an American can do for their country is raise their family correctly'.
I think that Heather's thoughts say it perfectly! The only other thing that I would have to offer is that when I was growing up, my mom went back to work once my sister and I were in school full time. My friends and I got into alot of trouble after school because we had no supervision. The middle school and high school years are so very important for you to be there for them when they need you!
One of the most obvious is that I am blessed to Homeschool, but coming from a family where my mother worked nights and slept during the day, I felt like she was distant and unreachable, unless I was bleeding. I have been told that when you are mothering, and have to make the choice whether to work outside the home, that it is important in a child's life to be there at the "cross-roads". These are times like when they wake up in the morning, when they go off to school, when they come home, and when they go to bed. Knowing there is someone waiting for them will give them a sense of security.
My kids arent in school yet but I plan to stay home even then. I can answer this from the prespective of the child though. My mom was a sahm my entire life(well from 6 months on). She was always there when I needed her and was there even when I got older and wished she wasnt. I think I got in less trouble after school as a teen because I knew she was home waiting for me. Whenever i got sick at school she was always there to pick me up if i needed her. After i started puberty and my period( oh joy) she was there if I needed her to umm..bring me something at school. We will just say i never had to wear the dreaded "lost and found" pants that were kept in the school nurses office. I think that I felt a bit more confident knowing my mom was home. Plus, my friends thought it was cool my mom wasnt at work all day and a few times she picked my friends up from school in the day when they were sik and their parents couldnt get off work. So, of course it is a no brainer to me to be sahm even after the kids are in school.
This is just my personal experience so far and it hasn't been easy. I wasn't a stay at home mom in the early years of my daughters life. I worked two jobs as a single mother until she was two years old I saved up as much as I could to move into the city to be closer to family and well more people since I was found myself single with child in a town where I knew no one, but would have had nothing to look forward to each day had I not missed her so much while I worked. And all the while throughout the day Id be thinking bout ways to experiment with bubbles or what fun we would have that evening doing what ever we wanted. Now having lived in the city for 12yrs I'm having health issues and cannot work at the young age of 33. I find being at home has been challenging not to just become a hermit inside the comforts of my home. I become so stubborn and angry to not want to be subjected to some descriptive stereotype. I force out a grandiose don't care stance to as I did all those years prior & just get out walk around. take in the neighborhood that blankets my home since It also belongs to me and is mine to have. I avoided other parents at times not wanting to embarrass her. But I heard my saving grace straight from her mouth at the very moment I thought I was about to. When asked what her mom does she says'' everything if she would need or want to.'' OMG That helps me not feel so looked down upon. Since then I have had to get over the ""it just seemingly sounds so lazy to not have more than I'm a stay at home mom"" to reply when asked. But now I know I have every job in the world as my profession should she need me to be. Plus I know I do more each day at home alone for the betterment of not only my daughter but my community as well. And that is my benefit of being a stay at home mom.
PROS: ability to keep UP with household, volunteer and participate more is chidren's school/after school activities
CONS: less money to do ALL OF THE ABOVE!
I ran my business from home so it's not something I have to think of. It's fulfilling to be a mom but being part of the bigger world is also an exciting journey that makes beautiful memory. I enjoying being the one that's always there for the family,but I need my work to be a healthy channeling of my focus. When my kids are disobedient, when they can't or refused to deliver what 's expected after all the effort poured in, when the husband not supportive of my parenting strategy, I can throw all the frustrations out of the window and dodge into my work that I can still have to be proud of.
i don't mean to be rude, but you've got it all wrong.
for SOME families, SAH parenting worked great.
for SOME families, day care worked great.
i am SAHM now but my daughter was in day care for three years. i felt horrible about it. ppl asked why i had a baby if i was just going to let others raise her for me. the bottom line is that it's what she desperately needed: she was developmentally delayed (she's been since diagnosed with ASD) and the day care staff had the training to do the exercises she needed to bring her speech, social skills, etc, up to par. they did such an excellent job that she's surged well ahead of her age in many areas, this from being "profoundly" delayed before she went there.
since i had to pull her out of JK, she's been home with me and i tell you right now, i am NOT the ideal person. when she has a meltdown, i find it so hard not to buy into it and allow things to spiral disastrously out of control. i am homeschooling her and that's frustrating - i'm all for letting her lead but at LEAST wait until the 2m 37s video clip finishes before you want to learn about something else!!!!
she'll be starting SK at school in another town - french immersion, which should help - and i will be sooo happy to just stay home and RELAX.
Once my youngest daughter started Year 2 (7 years old) I started casual teaching. The perfect job as I only had to take jobs at the schools and on the days that I wanted and I could drop my kids at school before work and pick them up soon after. If they had something special on I would just not work that day. Now that I only have my youngest in school, I still only work about 3 days a week as I need to have time for my kids, my husband, my volunteer work, myself and the house. (notice that the house comes way down on the list!)
I would have loved to have stayed at home when my children were little, and once they started school. Unfortunately, due to economics in our household, I have HAD to work. I have them in an after school program, so that I know they are in safe care until I can pick them up...but it still is hard. I try to spend as much time with them as I can, but it's not the same if I was with them. My mom was a SAHM all my life, and it was great having her there. I wish I could do the same for my kids, but unfortunately our situation just does not allow that. Maybe one day...
It would be nice to actually be a SAHM but financially it'll be hard. I wish I can stay home with my boys every day. Sometimes we just have to make sacrifices. I'm lucky to say that I have my mom taking care of my boys while my husband and I are at work. If this wasn't the case, then I think I'll have no choice but to stay home since day care and babysitting expenses will most likely cover up my entire check. So for those moms that can stay home, I envy you and cherish every moment you have with your children because not all of us has this option!
there r definitely ups and downs to bein a stay home mom. u can get ur housework and laundry done, catch up on ur shows, watch new movies, etc. i find the main problem is that u can get bired at home. due to unfortunate circumstances, i cant volunteer at the school. i myself prefer to work. I need to make money to help with bills and stuff. But even if my bf made enough money to cover all bills and expenses, I'd rather work so we have extra money-spending money. Every mom is different and each have their own views and opinions. I am just sharing mine.
The benefits of a SAHM are immense for the kids and for the hubby and for the home too! After being a full time career woman , am being a SAHM for the last two years now. I quite enjoy the luxury of rambling with my kids late in the nite without the bother of a strict morning schedule every day. However, there are times when i miss my corporate life , the ppl interaction and the challenges of a different world. was i more in power in that corporate world? i dont know..time will tell this one. Its also hard to justify te 'homemaker' status to some other moms .
But for one , am happy seeing my kids happy.No regret on being a SAHM..not at all.
Interesting question! I am a working mom with a SAHD(ad) - i have always been jealous that he is the one at home and when our youngest started Kindergarten this fall I really wanted him to go back to work part time. But then he started watching his oldest daughter's (24 yr old) baby. It has been an even worse situation than him staying at home and not working part time - because he gets stressed out very easily and then our kids get short changed.
I respect SAHM/Ds, but I do feel like the working parent's feelings about being a single income family beyond the immediate child care years should be considered. For me, the ideal world would be for both of us to be able to work part time and both be more involved in our children's lives.
I have just returned to work after being a SAHM for the last three years. It has been difficult for all of us especially my 5 years old, whom we adopted this past May. She keeps telling me how much she misses me and it breaks my heart. I have two grown children and even grandchildren. I am now wondering if I went to work too soon.