What are the best ways to help a bullied child?
What should you do if your child is being bullied? How can you help them the most?
You are there parent, not there buddy. If your child is being bullied you HAVE to go to the school and report it. Find out who the child is and let them know that what they are doing is NOT ok. Get a councler for your child. Most of the time our kids don't want to tell us bad news so they keep it bottled up. They can tell a councler because they aren't worried about upsetting them. Listen to your child. If they come to you that is a great sign of trust and it means they need help! I guess what I am trying to say is don't ignore it, you are not"blowing it out of proportion" any bullying is to much! DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!
I am disappointed to hear that authorities still make light of bullying. I sent my child to them thinking that school would supervise as well as teach their charges while I was not there to make sure children did not act like children to the harm of each other. They are minors and need adult supervision until they are old enough to make good decisions. My son was bullied and bottled it until it became a source of great pain for him. I gave him unconditional love and support, but I was told that "kids work this stuff out." My feeling:
They are children, you are the adults, It is our job, collectively, to teach and guide children, especialy if it is our turn. On my watch, there is no hitting, name-calling or letting things slide. I am a sub. teacher and cannot count the times I read these rules to my students-of-the-day, and watched some smaller, quieter kid smile and breathe a sigh of relief. It is WAY OK to set rules, and those are mine. I will not bend them for a cheerleader, a football player or the son of the principal. Everyone has equal rights to a safe learning environment.
My son was bullied by many children over a few years. He's pretty & has long hair so the easiest one was (of course) to call him a girl but there were a few instances of physical violence. It took a bit for him to tell us because he didn't want to get anyone in trouble ("No baby, they got themselves in trouble," because a common statement).
We went to the teachers & the children's parents but they did nothing. Actually one teacher told us he was too sensitive & needed to "man up" while the parents were very defensive & said I better have proof (my response was, "Ok, lets get a cast of his teeth & match it to the bites my kid has"). It was a nightmare.
Since we couldn't get help from them we decided to just keep talking to our son. We told him the things the kids were doing was not ok & he wasn't the horrible things they said he was. We reiterated his worth & let him know he doesn't have to take it.
Step 1 was walking away. Step 2 was getting an adult. Step 3 was protect yourself at all costs. Step 4 was tell us everything. Mind you we're not into fighting but when he's 4 kids deep & getting hit you better believe I gave him permission to fight back.
We were friendly parents. Telling him the times bullying happened to us so he understood it happens to lots of people & those people are not bad in any way, shape or form for what happened to them.
Thankfully the worst bullies left the school & he became stronger in his resolve to never let it happen again. Now he watches out for the little ones (mind you he's in 4th grade) & makes a point to tell us everything - good & bad.
BELIEVE HIM/HER! Love, hug, talk, report and remove if needed. My son was bullied at a private school. The school did not have a bullying policy and wasn't as proactive as we wanted. We left. I now homeschool. My son's great personality is starting to show it's self again.
Bullying takes many forms. It is not only physical; sometimes the words said are much more hurtful than a punch or a kick. Children need to trust the adults in their lives and when they come to tell a teacher or a parent that a problem exists, it must be dealt with. Take it seriously and get to the bottom of it ASAP. When the bully thinks he or she can get away with it, they will continue to torment their victims. As a result, children become afraid to go to school and can't learn to their full potential. Please listen to your children and help them no matter what it takes.
This TV segment from 60 MINUTES shows that babies are born with the ability to see petty differences between themselves and others. Once that “difference” is established, they have no moral qualms about punishing “others” who are different. http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-18560_162-57551557/babies-help-unlock-the-origins-of-morality/ . THE ICE VEIL TALES are a series of 12 fantasy/adventures that can help parents teach their kids (5-7 years old) the most important thing we have in common. Doing so will curtail bully behavior in classrooms. You may watch a FREE animated puppet show of Book One at: www.TheIceVeilTales.com. Wishing you and your families Happy Holidays and Happy Classrooms!
Come back lines for verbal bullying.
Martial arts to help improve their self esteem.
Talking to the school, ie, teacher, principal, board (department) or education in that order.
The school should have effective behaviour management strategies in place and all parents should have a copy on enrolment in the parent handbook and given a copy upon revision. It should also be displayed on the school website.
Bullying is not tolerated yet still goes unnoticed by schools. This to me means that there are no effective strategies put in place.
All classrooms should receive social skills training/ workshops at the beginning of the year whether they need it or not.
All teachers should be kept up to date with information surrounding this subject.
All parents should be encouraged to be involved in the revision of effective disciplince strategies implemented by the school.
All parents should be encouraged to be involved in workshops with staff and students about bullying and assertiveness skills.
It involves a three way thing. Teachers, parents and students need to be alert. Bystanders are just as bad as bullies when they say and do nothing to stop the bullying.
If the school and department of education do not get involved in solving this crisis, take your case to the police! They will have to be accountable when the police are involved.
Very true, and if it is kept bottled up it will affect many areas of the childs life and create personality changesas well.