What is the ideal spacing between children?

What works for each family when it comes to sibling spacing is always different. What do you think is ideal and why?

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24  Answers

2 0

I have 5 children with very different spacings! 23 mo between the first 2, 2 yr 9 mo between #2 and 3 and 3 and 4. Nine years between 4 and 5! I am not sure there is an ideal spacing. I really found I could enjoy the new baby more with the 2 yr 9 mo spacings. My memories of babies 1 and 2 is chasing a toddler with a baby on the breast or trying desperately to catch 10 min shut eye in the brief overlapping nap times! But those two are very close. With the longer spacing the older ones could self entertain for periods so I felt I enjoyed my baby more. Baby 5 is in many ways a new family; she was born into a family of adults (well not quite but from her perspective...) I had lost a few in between and was overjoyed to be a new mom but worried about the big gap. You know, there are plusses and minuses once again. She is growing up with many role models and now seeing her oldest sibling as a mother. Her siblings learned to be excellent in dealing with a small child. I wouldnt have chosen this spacing but I think you can find the blessings in whatever mix you have.

6
0 8

About 4 feet, just out of range

5
0 0

LOL, that is what I thought the question was when I first read it. :)

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9 6

My first two are 22 months apart and I'm expecting our third approx. two weeks before my youngest turns 2. I personally LOVE the minimal age difference between them. Yes, it is very challenging most days, but they are so close and it's just so fun to watch them together. I never once felt like I missed any part of my oldest being the baby. I know people have differing opinions, but this is what works for our family :-)

4
9 0

All of my 4 kiddos are 2 1/2 years apart - quite by accident! I have found though, that it does seem to be the perfect age gap. It gave each of them 2 1/2 years to be the "baby" and enjoy all of that special attention. It also was great because at 2 1/2 they were old enough to be helpful and more independent when the newest addition arrived. My kids are 12, 10, 8 and 5 right now and they are each other's best friends. There isn't too much of a gap to where they can't play together nicely - especially the youngest two and oldest two.

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33 4

I have a 10, 8,7 and 2 year old and am expecting number 5 soon. I loved the small age gap between my first 3 when I was in my 20's and having the bigger gap between my 7 and 2 year old has meant that the older ones are more independent and helpful.But I am feeling it this pregnancy having a toddler and being pregnant and late 30's is taking it's toll on my unfit body. So I would say, depending on your fitness and energy levels- have them closer when you are younger/fitter and space them out as you get older/less fit! Pretty sure this will be my last so I'm hoping for a dream baby that sleeps through the night and is content! I also don't want my oldest to be a teenager and me still having babies. This is quite a personal thing as I know people who have done this and are fine but for me I don't think I can get my head around the baby stages and teenage things at the same time.

1
0 4

I have two children and they are ten years apart. It is not by choice that the age difference are so big. But I had three miscarriages after my daugther who is the eldest. Me and my husband are older parents because we only married when we were already in our thirties. After the last miscarriage at 40 we decided that we are not going to try for more children. But God blessed us with a bautiful, healthy baby boy when I was 42. He is 17 months now and our family really enjoy him a lot. I like the big age gap because I can spend a lot of time with both of them because they don't need the same kind of attention.

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0 9

My 2 children are 16 months apart and I wouldn't have done it any different. My son is the oldest with his sister close behind in age. We took the bottle away at the same time, potty trained at the same time, my daughter always has wanted to follow in my sons foot steps. Now that they are both in Jr. High they both have the same group of friends that they hang out with and they keep an eye out for one another.
I wouldn't have done it any other way. Of course my husband and I were 24 when we started having children so maybe being young was helpful too:)

1
0 0

I have 5 kids expecting number 6! My 1st and 2nd are 15 months apart! My 2nd and 3rd are 15 months apart! My 3rd and 4th and 5th (twins) are 21 months apart! And Twins and number 6 will be about 22 months apart! I love having them close couldnt imagine any other way!

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0 20

My children are 16 months apart, and although life was indeed a blur when they were babies and toddlers it turned out to be the best blessing! They are now 25 & 26, and are each others best friends and #1 supporters. We were able to do "life" as a family ~ go to the same movies, ride the same rides, etc. The hardest part ~ the empty nest!! They left for college one year after the other, and the house was SO very quiet! Although we didn't plan our family spacing this way, it turned out wonderfully for us.

1
12 1

Hello, i have 2 boys, first one is 10, second one 3 and a half. They have (+-) 5,5 years of difference between eachother, and that has proven to be very nice. The oldest one really lived all the emotions with us, the entire pregnancy, the birth..it was a magical thing to see! I believe all age differences are ok, but one should avoid not giving the body and mind a full recovery. It is also good to give attention to the kid we have already..a litle bit of exclusive attention. In my opinion (and also the advice of my Gynecologist) there should be a minimum interval of 1 year (normal birth) and 2 years (C. Section). If possible, a litle more..but this being really the minimum for the body to recover and 'get pregnant' again. In the end..its all about respecting our mental and physical limits...and enjoying it all! If it becomes one big stress, we will not enjoy it - and that is a pitty! Kiss to all of you..and good luck!

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21 0

FROM ALL THOSE I KNOW, PLUS PERSONAL EXPERIENCE - 2 years is IDEAL!!

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1 11

My girls are 7 years apart. Turning 11 and 4. They play outside together and are great friends. We also have another due in 6 months. I love the age gap. Gives us plenty of time to get one through buying a car and paying for college before its time to do it again. There will be an 11 year age gap between our oldest and the one on the way! I think any age gap is good. You just hope you are lucky enough that they get along and enjoy each other. We lucked out

1
2 0

The thing I find amazing is that despite the different age differences they are close. The other surprise was sibling rivalry still existed between the ones with the 9 yr spacing! (not noticed with the older ones)

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4 0

I just had my second and now my children are roughly 3.5 years apart! I love this spacing because it allows them to be friends and supportive but still not too close in age!

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5 36

I have 5 children gap between 1 & 2 was 10 1/2 months, 2 and 3 was 14 months, 3 & 4 was 22 months and 4 & 5 was 35 months. For me, the almost 3 year gap was perfect as my daughter was old enough to understand and appreciate her younger brother

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2 0

Wow! Well done you! How was the 10 1/2 month gap? Very curious about other peoples experiences?

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2 0

I'll soon find out the difference between a nearly 11 year age gap and a 10.5 month age gap! I have an 11 year old son and a 12 week old baby son and I'm 6 weeks pregnant! Its not exactly how we planned it but I'm sure they will have a great bond and will both look up to their big brother :) Exciting times ahead, with a lot of organisation and a loving supportive family it wont be too stressful!

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0 14

my first two are just over 12 months apart they are the best of friends but there is still sibling rivalry which is to be expected. I am now pregnant with my third and would probably wait til this one is about 6 months old before hubby and i start trying for a 4th. Yes when they were younger it is exhausting but i wouldn't have it any other way. I think it is an individual decision for each parent to make but most importantly, if my children are happy than i am happy and isn't that what every parent should hope for?

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2 0

Its great to hear another mum with kids so close in age, I have an 11 year boy and honestly thought that was my lot, I now have a three month old son and have found out i'm due another :) I wasn't expecting it to happen so quickly but it has and we'll all adjust i'm sure! There will be 10 1/2 months between them so hopefully they'll be close and happy to have each other. And yes every parent should hope for happy healthy children :)

0 0

I have 4 children, and they are 22 months apart. I was able to hand down most of baby/infant items down. I was able to re use a lot of stuff and is still doing it. I have 1 daughter (oldest) and three sons, it worked prefect for us. It really depends on the parents

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0 31

My daughter and son are 4.5 yrs apart. My daughter has always enjoyed her little brother. She has always been a mini mom and protector of her little brother. As a result they have an awesome relationship.

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0 0

Having 4 children, it was ideal for me personally to have them 3 years apart. The last 2 were 7 years apart due to a lost pregnancy. Having all of them potty trained and able to communicate well was a big plus, along with them able to self entertain at times when needed. My kids are very close, in spite of a slightly larger gap in age. My daughter has 4 children also, and the first three are about 18 months apart! LOL, to each his own. Whatever works for you and your family. Children are a blessing, whether they are 9 months or 25 years apart.

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3 30

My 6 year old son is exactly 2 years + 2 days older than my 4 year old daughter, so thankfully they share a birthday party. My 3rd baby is 3 years + 5 months younger than her big sis, but we had planned to have her sooner, so it should've been only 3 years apart. I think the ideal space between having children is 2 & 1/2 years. I don't want to stop at 3, but the hubby's done, so guess I have to find another one. LOL!

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6 0

There was 8 years difference between my son and daughter. As a result they are not close. My daughter has always been jealous of her baby brother ever since he was born. There was 3 years between my sister and me. We fought a lot, but are close now. I think that is a better age difference. You kind of grow up together and the little one has the bigger one in school to look after them. My daughter is pregnant now and her daughter is 3. This is going to work much better although my granddaughter is already expressing jealousy of her unborn sibling. Like mother, like daughter I guess. Who knows, different things for different families.

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1 19

Mine are 7 minutes apart! I'm just happy I got them at all and I know you all feel the same no matter how close or far.

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3 0

According to the Bible 36 months is considered ideal. I do agree that there are blessings all the way around!

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5 2

I love Janet's answer--you learn to enjoy the plusses and minuses. My first two are 2 1/2 years apart and my last 3 are 18 months apart (oldest is 7 and youngest is 1 1/2 right now). To be honest, I personally like the spacing at 2 to 2 1/2 years because the toddler is a lot less dependent when the new baby comes but the kids are still close enough to maintain common interests. Have 3 in 3 years has been pretty stressful, and I love that my last three girls are close to each other but I have less one on one availability with them individually. So I guess if you're attempting to plan your family just ask yourself if you're more a parent who likes to raise a cute little flock of kids that are all close together and be prepared for a shorter time of sleepless nights and stress, or if you're more one to breed an individual relationship.

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