What should I expect when planning for a 2nd child?

Planning for a 2nd baby brings its own set of concerns that can be very different from when you had your first. What can be expected when preparing for a 2nd child?

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14  Answers

17 14

1--I agree about the least amount of sleep but if you set both children on a schedule for a nap that will make your life much easier during the day. At least one afternoon nap for all three of you should be essential.
2--Before the new baby comes, talk to the older sibling about the new baby. Have the older sibling speak to the baby in your belly. Get a few books about being an older sibling for the older child and read one everyday.
3--Expect jealousy from the older child but you CAN fix it and you CAN make things work out so that your older child will not feel left out. Depending on how old your older child is involve him/her in either giving the baby a bottle or help you in changing the diaper by handing you a wipe or baby powder. When you give the older child responsibility for something and appreciate it and praise them and hug and kiss the child for helping you and looking after the baby, he/she will feel absolutely thrilled and master of the task.
4--When anyone offers any sort of help, TAKE IT. Don't think that you can do everything because as a mother we get in the mode of taking care of every task by ourselves and kill ourselves doing so.
GOOD LUCK!!!! :-)

17
3 0

Along with other things people have said, there are some physical things that are often different for your second baby. You may show more when you're pregnant, have more bladder control problems, and perhaps more hip or joint pain. On the plus side, your labor will probably be faster and you will know what the different stages of labor feel like and what to expect. If you tore or needed an episiotomy with your first baby, you may not with the second, and that area will probably heal faster postpartum. If you breastfed your first baby and plan to breastfeed again, you can be more confident in your ability to teach the baby to latch on and nurse correctly. You will still have breast discomfort, and your afterbirth contractions may be more painful. You will do your best to help your first child adjust and help take care of the new baby, though there will probably be times when someone has to cry for longer than usual while you help the other one. Most importantly, you can expect to love this new baby just as much as the first, and there will be many happy moments ahead.

8
0 0

i have a new 8 week old and my first born is only 21 months old and I can whole heartedly agree with everything you said here.

20 0

to feel torn between the two and their needs and wants and to be able to just let go the feelings of guilt that you cannot meet both of their needs all the time right away. Def. if offered help take it and enjoy the kids and don't rush it things go so fast anyway!

5
5 28

Well, the oldest is going to feel left out and he/she is going to- no matter what, push more buttons than normal because that'll be the only way they know how to get that attention they feel they are missing out on. The oldest should be given a mommy and him/her only day and a daddy and him/her only day once a week or twice a week(or whatever) so that child doesn't feel left out or "not loved as much" Let him/her help with diapers, making bubbas, picking out the outfit for the baby...etc. Make that older child feel as important in the new baby's life as much as possible :)

4
14 13

Sleeplessness is my biggest issue for sure. I am so surprised at how little sleep I am getting now. My only saving grace is routine. My youngest loves routine and that makes life so much easier. My two kiddos are 2 years 3 months apart. I love the age difference between them because oldest is so independent now and can do so much on her own.

3
0 1

Don't leave it too long. I never imagined that I would have a problem having a baby after my first pregnancy was so easy and amazing. Now I have a beautiful 4 year old, but have lost 2 babies last year, one at 11 weeks and one at 19 weeks. I wish we had started trying earlier, maybe things would have been different.

1
7 0

Be ready to give some extra attention to child # 1. Many moms will hire a nanny to either tend to the baby while mom spends some one on one time with child # 1; or have the nanny spend some extra fun time with child # 1. Mom can also use some extra rest when child #2 comes along. You can no longer nap when baby naps as you have child #1 to take care of. This is another instance when you can hire a nanny so you can get some extra rest. Care4hire.com is a great resource for finding that extra pair of hands!

1
910 45

We made sure to make a big deal about our son being super special because he was going to be a big brother. We also made him apart of finding out what his brother was and then gave the baby a name... he loved to talk to his brother "baby cass" and when the baby was born he was soo excited he didn't have time to be jealous. However that did kick in later and my husband and I made a big deal about spending time with him individually and as a family. As for tiredness yes there is exhaustion and a feeling that maybe there isn't enough of you to go around! but as baby gets older and you can play games with both of them it gets better.

1
30 93

For me it was the age gap, as I didn't want them too close in age, but yet I didn't want them too far apart either. My 2 kids are 3yrs & 9 days apart.

I also took into consideration that I have high bloodpressure and it turned into toximia when prego with #1, so I planned my pregnancy for #2 to be around the same time line (get prego in summer & due in winter) as #1. Don't think I could handle being 9 months prego in the summer.

Also the delivery process.....vaginally vs c-section. DON"T HAVE A C-SECTION UNLESS YOU REALLY HAVE TOO, or you have alot of help from family. I had a vaginal birth for #1 and a section (emergancy) for #2. It sucked. Couldn't do anything! No laundry as it was in basement, couldn't laugh, sneeze, cough, couldn't pick up child #1, couldn't carry #2 in her baby seat, couldn't lift groceries, etc.

I likely have forgotten somethings, but it will all work out. Good luck.

1
0 18

Can you tell me about medication changes during your pregnancy, and how it affected your blood pressure? Did your doctor change or decreased you rmedication? Thanks~!

6 30

Well i have three children and it is hard sometimes my oldest is 13 a teenager and my middle is 4 yrs old and my youngest is 8 months sometimes it can be a challenge but i just take it one day at a time and just go with the flow. I know my oldest can do everything for herslef but she is a teenager and sometimes it feels like she can be the worse of the three but it also helps to have support and to never refuse help when offered. Believe me you will want that break after awhile. Any way what i am saying is just let it flow into your everyday life and before you know it you will have adjusted and everything will just fall into place then. One step at a time.

1
6 30

As to what to expect some jealousy from your other child/ren and some tiredness, more frustrated, less sleep but you will feel more love and happiness and joy. There may be times you might feel like ripping your hair out you may even feel overwhelmed. You may feel like there is not enough time in a day to get things done. But it all settles down and comes together.

4 0

Definitely speak to the older sibling about it. Find out how they feel and try to be sensitive to their feelings. No matter what age children tend to get jealous especially if they were the only one. Get the older sibling involved and make sure they don't feel left out.

0
0 0

hey all, i want to have my second child, but want to start around October. by then my daughter will be four in May the following year. i am really excited to go again but hoping that the experience is different this time around. i use to vomit a hole lot maybe this pregnancy will be different. Good luck to all you mothers who are planning to have your first or second..

0
37 45

When I found out iwas pregnant with my second child I started making my first child wait before I got them what they asked for so when my second child arrived it wouldn't be strange if they had to wait. I also encouraged my child to share with me more eg if they were playing with a toy for a while I would ask for a turn of playing with it and keep it for a few mins. The practicals are common sense but the easiest thing to forget is to prepare your other child/ren for the new arrival, and wen the baby arrives allow as much contact as possible and DON'T tell your other child/ren to be quiet all the time the baby will deal with the noise if it is normal!

0
200 54

well, how far apart will your kids be?

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