Would you allow your 18 year old to live on their own when they are in their first year in community college?
It seem like a ways away, but you've probably considered what will change for you once you kids are grown and move out of the house. What do you plan on doing when you no longer have any kids in the house?
My nest has been empty, for the last 13 months. Last year, was time for me, to take care of me. And give myself a long, stay at home vacation. I needed that time, to relearn who I am, and what I want to do. I have been parenting for almost 48 years, siblings and then my own 4 kids, and it is now time for me. :) The other night, my hubby and I cooked hot dogs and roasted marshmallows, over the fire pit, and just enjoyed sitting and relaxing together. The empty nest is strange, but peaceful.
When my son left home I felt a part of me was left behind with him..It is so hard to give your children their wings so they can confidently fly.My daughter moved out for the summer and now I feel the empty nest syndrome creeping in..I don't think we are ever prepared to let them go because they occupy your thoughts 24/7 for so many years and all of a sudden they are gone to pursue their lives and their own dreams..the poem by Kahlil Gibran from the book The Prophet gives a new meaning called Your Children.
I have been waiting so long to do for myself the things I stop doing since the children came one by one. sleep longer, read, play the piano etc. etc. And with the modern technology now I can see them and talk to them when possible. It will also be an opportunity for me to see them succeed and make a home for themselves which is a good thing. I just make myself available when they call me and ask me how to do a certain dish. Now I am in the process of putting together recipes they love, in other words a family recipe book.
I am a single mom so I do think about this since there is a good chance I will be on my own when this occurs. I do marketing consulting now and I have thought that when they are ready to move on (years from now, they are young) I may go back to work full-time. As a single mother I am consistently working on building my sense of community which will remain when my kids are gone. Ultimately we really are here to raise our children to be happy, healthy and responsible adults. It's the circle of life and, while it will have its challenges, I will be proud to send them on their way to independence.
Well it is happening to me and my husband and I plan to quit my job and go into hiding in a closet, LOL! Our son went to college last year. He is home for the summer. Our daughter graduates high school in 22 days -- yikes!! They both will head off to college in August :( I must say I am 46 and really never prepared myself emotionally for these times. Although we have talked about college with our children since they were knee high -- it still came as a shock lol! When we dropped our son off at college it was as if a death had occurred. I was depressed and somewhat distraught! Realeasing him into the world was actually just like giving birth to him, the process was painful!! Now when our daughter leaves -- when is the apple of our eye -- i am a little more worried about my husband then myself. It is definitely a double-edge sword -- because we are kind of looking forward to being home alone and having more freedom to, well you know :) We love them so much and they have been the center of our world for so long -- it is painful! We are also very proud that they have "launched" as I call it -- they are racing into the world to seek their path, to do more and see more than their dad and I ever will. I am so excited for them and for me and my husband of 21 years!!
In our society children hardly ever move out ,girls do as they get married ,sons usually stay with the parents and start their own family .My son is just 3 so cant imagine yet but I think I would like to be healthy,strong and independent so if he wants to move out ,he should be free to and I would get more time for cooking, reading ,walking and socialising.
Since both of us sisters got married my mother with all of these things,manages to talks to us for around an hr each day and since we are so far away it feels like having tea in the evening and discussing the high and lows of the day .Its almost therapeutic asit helps us face our challenges each day ,happily.
I believe in life after children. After awhile we will most likely get a smaller place. We admire my husbands grandparents who now into their 80s have a zest for life. They travel, see family and play golf. We hope to do the same type of things. ( maybe no golf for me)
Its a part of life and a difficult phase for the mother whose biggest morale support and a great company goes away. Talking over the phone and being in touch doesn't feel the same when you are sitting with your daughter just next to her and sharing your thoughts and feelings. I miss that. Everything changes around you just like when a mother delivers, the whole world changes overnight and the little one becomes the world to her now, the mother is left all alone because she has left you and become independent and you can no longer physically accompany her.
I miss her company and the laughter and her little demands. I can no longer buy clothes for her or go with her for a movie or shopping. A daughter acts like a younger sister for a mother. I MISS MY DAUGHTER AND SON A LOT !!
when the 1 daughter moves out, still got a younger 1, to keep us busy.
It seems like it happened so fast. I decided to move to another state. My daugther decided to stay, but my son came, but eventually went back home. I love that they are indepent of me and of each other. I worry alot, but I also give their space to make mistake and life thier own lives. I remember going to Walmart and watching the parents during the back to school supply hunt. All I could do was smile. I will now get a chance to do some of the things that I always wanted to do. Travel, start a business, lay out at the beach, visit all 50 states. This will be a new beginning for me and I want to treasure it as long as the money and my health holds out.
Just wait a bit...they, and their families will move home at some point...and drag you into the family drama that you (thought) you missed so much....and you will be chomping at the bit for them to find their OWN place again....BUT....you will love having your grandkids around and be totally torn about the whole situation...(living it now in Oregon)
My son is graduating and my husband and I are moving to another state and my son is choosing to stay. I'm not thrilled about him staying here because we have no family close by if anything should happen. All his family will be a minimum of 10-11 hours away and with him staying in this oil boom town where things are not as safe as they once were and the cost of everything is through the roof - it scares the H out of me.
Both my children have been at Boarding school since they were 5 years old and we lived a border crossing away so i thrive on any minute i can get with my children. My daughter has now left school and already moved to another country away from home to finish tertiary education - she is extreamly independant but misses home and family like crazy. My son is finishing his last 2 years of senior school and will be joining her 2000km away - i get sad about it everyday but the country and way we live leave us very little options. I would like nothing more than to move closer to my children and share more time with them so this is my near and long term plan and I hope they share the same sentiments as me and my husband.
My son is a 2012 grad. He is leaving for school. I'm moving to the beach.
Oh golly, there are so many things that could change between now and then! I'll probably join a bowling league, take up oil painting again, and turn the kids' room into a combination guest room/hobby room. If I'm working full-time, I'll keep doing that. If I'm working part-time, I'll take some just-for-fun classes at a community college. And of course, lots more snuggle time with my husband. :-)
I don't expect any major changes. Our oldest is in the autism spectrum. I expect he will be living with us for some time. When our middle son moves out (not just for college, but on his own), the youngest will not have to share a room any more. However, there is a 12-1/2 year age difference between the 2nd and 3rd, so by the time the 3rd moves out, we may be too old to do anything drastic.
I've been through this 3 times now. When the first one moved out, our son gained a room of his own. Before that, he slept with us; first in our bed with us and later in his own bed in our room. When our 2nd moved out, our 3rd got her own room. When she moved out, I got a sewing room. Then the first moved back in with her dh and 2 children. I lost the sewing room but gained 2 grandchildren to help raise. A fair trade off. Now she and her family are gone and I have my sewing room back. I don't anticipate much changing when our 4th will leave except I will no longer be home schooling. I will miss the interruptions to my work though.