What to do if your teen is sneaking out
20 Answers
What's an appropriate curfew for a 13 year old boy?
What's a good curfew for a teenage boy who is 13 years old?
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40 Answers
36 Votes
Our son is 14 years old and his curfew is when the street lights come on :) Might be a little old fashion but when something works for generations you don't change it.
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Rhonda - commented on Aug 3, 2011
That's great
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Heather - commented on Aug 3, 2011
Love it us too and they have a cell phone
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Tiffani - commented on Aug 6, 2011
You and my mother must of thought alike because that was my curfew time growing up also. ( But then again, I was a military brat and I was born and raised at Elemdorf AFB near Anchorage. Not much to do up there in the dead of winter. Only thing you could do was be inside. Now summer was a completely different story because at 12 am it looked like it was about 8pm out so I could stay out longer. As soon as I got old enough and my parents let me, I left Alaska and moved to Ohio with my grandparents. ( I need seasons!!!! Alaska is nice to visit, just don't be there in the winter )
28 Votes
I have raised my kids with a graduated curfew system. 13 - 9:30, 14 - 10:00, 15 - 10:30, 16 - 11:00, 17 - 11:30, 18 - 12:00. This is the ideal, when they obey it and prove trust worthy. I have been known to knock it back when they are not home when agreed upon. Once they can drive and I am no longer picking them up, they have a cell phone to call me and let me know if they are going to be late, with reasonable communication I can be flexible, but if it happens too often or the attitude is poor then there are consequences. Also once they can drive the curfew is met if their foot is in the door by the set time, not screaming up to the house in the car.
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Amy - commented on Aug 3, 2011
I forgot to add this is weekends. During school his bed time is 9-9:30, so he obviously has to be home before that, but unless it is a planned activity with adults involved he is to be home long before that on a school night.
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Mindy - commented on Aug 9, 2011
This is exactly what we did with our kids and for the most part it worked.
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Karen - commented on Aug 22, 2012
I agree with Amy 9:30 for a 13 yr old. Karen
21 Votes
In my opinion a 13 year should not be out by themselves therefore they don't need a curfew!
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Ebony - commented on Aug 6, 2011
Exactly!
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Jodi - commented on Aug 9, 2011
I agree. I also have a 13 year old son. My son doesn't have a curfew because he is not out roaming the streets. If he goes to a friends, I pick him up. If he wants to stay late, I let him because I know where he is and that he is safe. I don't think it matters what time you make your kids come home, if they are out and about without supervision, you have no idea what they are up to and if they are safe.
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Kathy - commented on Dec 17, 2011
i do not agree, u should let your kids have a little fun, experience a little , if u don't let them experience anything before a certain age like 16-17 they will grow up to be shy , and that's what i think if my opinion matters to you
16 Votes
I agree with Shelly and Michelle, my daughter is 12 and does not go anywhere that she would need a true curfew! A curfew to me means that you are out somewhere without adult supervision! That will not happen for a super long time! She was out till after midnight this past Saturday night for a cast party for a show she was in. That was allowed as I was with her and chaperones were at the party!!!! In today's world I would never let a child-boy or girl-out with just friends till they were at least 15. They need adult supervision (and we live in a safe town!) Sorry, but that's my opinion :)
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Pancy - commented on Aug 3, 2011
Don't be sorry! I agree. I have 4 kids (17,15,14,12) and they are with me,dad, or another adult 95% of the time, and if for a short time they are not with us, they are together all together! Only my oldest has needed a real curfew once when she went to dinner with friends, but she even road with the friends parents so that wasnt even a big deal...any other plans I drive them and pick them up anyway.:-)
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Lori - commented on Aug 23, 2012
My kids grew up mostly on a dead end street. Some nights they played hide and seek tag until 10pm on weekends. A lot of parents would be outside on porches enjoying being outside. The ages were 8-14. They all played together confined to the street. It felt safe. Now we are more in the city and my 12yr old grade 8 doesn't hang out past dark. Its still a decent neighbourhood. So it depends on things. Trust your judgement. You will know what the right thing to do is because you worry for your sons safety.
6 Votes
My son is 13 and I always have him come home before the sun set's. If it's winter he is in by 6:30-7pm, in the summer 8-8:30pm. I just don't want him out at night.
6 Votes
I might sound harsh, but I think on school days, with afterschool activities and homework 13 year olds should be in by 8pm. On weekends, like Heather said; it depends where you live, etc etc.. If they're at a friend's house and you are going to collect them can be whatever time you've arranged with their friend's parents! Could be late. I'm mostly friends with the parents of who my 12 year old daughter is friends with, so it's a nite out for me aswell!
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Michelle - commented on Aug 2, 2011
I AGREE!!! :)
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Jennifer - commented on Aug 24, 2012
My son doesn't have a curfew either. My son gets picked up by the bus at 6:45, his bedtime is 8:30. He will be 12 in one month, and just started 6th grade. I have allowed him this past summer to ride his bike around the block with his friends. But, he is LITERALLY allowed ONLY around the block (we live in a small town)...and not allowed to ride his bike in the dark anyway! He has a watch and has a one hour check in throughout the day. If he violates thisivy being late, he gets one warning, then he is in for the rest of the day. If he is anywhere else, he is with me to and from. He sometimes is at the neighbor friends house playing out in their yard with supervision (and I can see him too) and he has never set foot in the house past 8:00, even when the sun was still up. He doesn't like it most of the time, as his friends don't have to be inside until 8:30, but....oh well, I'm the parent!
5 Votes
Well it depends on the circumstances. Is he out walking the streets, hanging out at the parks or at a friend of his? If this is the case then he should be home by 7:00. If he is out with friends and a parent is driving them around and you know/met this parent then it should be 10:00.
I also have a 13 year old and I know she thinks I'm strict. But with kids killing kids and drive by shootings kidnappings everywhere now a days. I rather be strict and have a disgruntle child then no child at all.
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Ebony - commented on Aug 6, 2011
You couldn't have said a truer thing Hun!!! My 12 year old is thinking 'Dratt! More peeps that think like my Mum!' lol
4 Votes
A good durfew for a 13 year old is NO CURFEW.13 is far to young to allowed to be out on their own. My kids play sport, so if they are not on the baseball field then they are with me or their father.
Curfew should be implemented when you are done with school at maybe 18 years old. Call me old fashioned, but it worked for many generations and we didnt turn out to bad hey.
So why fix something that is not broken.
3 Votes
Our 13 year old doesn't go out without some parent (us or his friend's parents), except maybe to the park mid day.
3 Votes
My boy is 15 now, but as a general rule. I have always told mine to be home before or by the time the street lights come on (we live in town). If its a school night, he has to be in , in time to get ready for school the next day. If its summertime, he gets to stay out a little later, only if he checks in with me if he changes plans (location) and sometimes I go and make sure hes where hes supposed to be. This way he knows I will come check and hes not tempted to go elsewhere. It has worked well for us. Good luck.
3 Votes
My son is 14 and has to be home before it gets dark - weekend or weekday. Sounds very old fashioned but there was none of this crap about teenagers causing problems (fights, bashings, driving under the influence etc) when I was growing up. He has a lot of freedom and can hang out with his friends as much as he wants but there is so much time to get into trouble when they get older (and I look forward to that). I want him to have a childhood, hang out with mates and do stupid things - just not criminal things. Its not right to keep them sheltered and oblivious to the world but do they really need that much freedom. He's a good kid and I want to keep it that way for as long as possible.
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Sue - commented on Aug 3, 2011
My 13 year old daughter has to be home before dark, or we pick her up by 11 at her friends house. School nights there is no going out except for homework projects or practices we take her to. No reason for it, she has plenty of homework to get done first and bedtime is not late.
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Tiffani - commented on Aug 6, 2011
I agree with you Sue. I lived with my grandparents for a while and they gave me alot of freedom.Even at the age of 18 before I graduated H.S. my grandmother never gave me a curfew, but she would ALWAYS say I want you home at a reasonable hour. What she would say I found so TRUE when I got older and was on my own in college and now a mother. She would say. " NO SELF RESPECTING PERSON WOULD BE OUT TILL ALL HOURS OF THE NIGHT." Her other big quote she loved to say was, " ONLY HOOKERS, THUGS AND TROUBLEMAKERS STAY OUT ALL NIGHT AND IF YOUR WITH THOSE KIND OF PEOPLE YOUR SEEN NOT FOR WHO YOU ARE, BUT THE FRIENDS YOU KEEP. Thanks Grandma, Lesson received and remembered.
3 Votes
It all depends on where you live and who his friends are plus if you are prepared to pick him up...... between 9 and 10pm is perfectly acceptable on school nights.... hope this helps
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Stacy - commented on Aug 9, 2011
My son is ready and getting in bed at 9pm... on school nights. If he had a curfew of 10.. by the time he got his PJs on, brushed his teeth, said prayers- he would be looking at 10:15-10:30... Too late on a school night! I increase it by an hour on weekends.
2 Votes
Yikes, my 17 yr old has to be in by 10 unless she is working orsomething special like a party or her friend from ot of town is here. The boys are 11&12. If they are out around the neighborhood I need to know where they are and have them.check in with me every so often ( hr or two) . They don't have a set cerfew but if I am in a good mood (haha) I will tell them to come in by 7 or 8 depending on when it gets dark. If they are at some places they are picked up and dropped off (movies, my bff's house) so I know they are safe. I guess I am a mean mom.
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Lisa - commented on Aug 10, 2011
Oh yeah, I can't let my 17 see this ever. Lol. We only just started letting her stay out untul 10 about a yr or so ago. I always had her come in before dark because I didn't want her walking home aftet dark. Her brothers are allowed to go a little farther than she did at their age. They are two of them and if they go out. to play at school or to the lake they are in a group. (School is on the next block ). Also, these are because it is summer. During school it is much different though, it gets dark much earlier as well.
2 Votes
We have a city wide curfew of 9 pm for kids 15 and under. When he is "out with friends" it is at the friend's home or on an adventure with their family. He has to contact me on his cell phone for sleepover requests- which are then confirmed with the friend's mom. Very rarely does he walk or bike solo, I will often meet up with him or a friend will ride/walk with him. If he is walking home at say, 8:45, He will send me an OMW text- so I know he is in transit and when to worry. It also gives me a few minutes to recalibrate my mom-ness and to wrap up tasks so I can connect with him on his return. i think the age/grade graduated approach will work well when he gets to his high school years =)
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Aleph - commented on Aug 11, 2011
Our 16 year old daughter tried the OMW text with us...(it was getting close to the time she need to be back)....didn't work. She has to make the phone call NO TEXTING . I explained it to her this way "Anyone can text from your phone. How do I know its you ? I need to hear your voice."
2 Votes
my 16 year old has an 8 pm curfew, and 10 on weekends
2 Votes
13 yrs old 9:00 PM
1 Vote
Just to be clear what is your child doing that requires a curfew? Things like hanging out with friends at the bike/skate park, I would say when the street lights come on you are home! If he is at a friends home with supervison, and you can speak with an adult to confirm that, sure 9 or 10 would be appropriate noting that you should then be picking him up if it is more than a block or two or arranging for the other parent to drop off. I did not start curfew with my kids until they were driving. I figured before that there was not one place they need to be after dark unattended. Now going to a movie that runs late would be ok, but I would drop off and pick up and i was known too sneek in to watch the movie to make sure we were staying put and not out wandering around. Once the trust of thier friends and my child was built up I no longer needed to do those things. Good luck.
1 Vote
I totaly agree when the street lights come all kids boys or girls need to be in unless the parents are sitting outside with them. School nights need to be in no later than 8pm.
1 Vote
I really do not think a 13 year old should have a curfew... 13 is way too young to be out on their own that they need a curfew.. I say curfews start at 16 IF the child shows responsibility at that age.
1 Vote
7
1 Vote
On a school night if sport are not involved 8pm weekends again depends on what they are doing like a movie 10 pm should be late enough.
1 Vote
dinner time!!!!
1 Vote
my 13 yr olds don't do much unless its a structured event so have not really had a curfew. My 15 yr old is 11, since we have to pick him up.
1 Vote
I have a thirteen year old girl. Her curfew varies depending on where she is. Normally it's between 9:30 and 10:00.
1 Vote
Mine were not allowed to go somewhere at the age of 13 to have a curfew. I either took them or they stayed the night at a friends. During schoolthey were not allowed to do stuff like that at all.
1 Vote
I think a good curfew time for a 13 yr. old boy is between 9:30 and 10:00pm. You should know who his friends he will be hanging out with are and where they will be going or if they are just staying at the friend's house. It would also be great and a plus if you knew who his parents were too. :)
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Ebony - commented on Aug 2, 2011
My child can't go to anybody's house who I dont know!
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Shelly - commented on Aug 2, 2011
ok maybe I am silly but my 13 year old does not have a curfew. He has a bed time of 9:00 on school nights. He can go to the movies with a friend but either I or the friends mother brings them home. I could be old fashion but if you are worried about your child and what he is doing then you need to change what you are doing. If it does not feel right don't do it. It is your job to teach responsibility and parent the child not be their friend.
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Michele - commented on Aug 2, 2011
I agree with u 100% Shelly
0 Votes
Good For You! My 13 year old cannot be outside when the sun starts to come down - that's 5pm in the winter and no later than 8pm in the summer. I am really strict.
My son is pretty awesome though and he understands. He respects that I get worried and he finds ways around my rules that works for me and works for him.
His friends are always welcome in my house and as long as their parents are okay with them staying late, then they are more than welcome to hang out watching tv, playing games and talking. Weekday rule is that friends can come over but they all have to do their homework or study first (if one of them has no homework, then he has to bring a book to read) - the kids all respect quiet time - Another rule is no one is allowed to walk home at night, if their parents cannot pick them up then I drive them home. So, its not like my son is missing out, I just want him and his friends to be safe and they all know that and respect it.
Old Fashion Teachings are good. I am all for that.
0 Votes
At 13 all my boys could do was be in front of the house where i can keep an eye on them, and they came in when it got dark.
The could only go to their friends house only if I knew both parents and knew well how they where brought up, my boys are grown and they are terrific men and dads themselves. Be carefull where your kids go, bad people do not wear signs on their heads, you do not want to find out the hard way. Think on your own experiences when you were that age and the trouble you got yourself in. Talk to your kids open their eyes to the world that we live in.
0 Votes
My children are raised that nighttime is a dangerous time and they should not be out. When visiting me, they leave before it is dark or have to stay the night. I also lead by example. Of course they dont listen, so my daughter got grabbed in town and froze and learnt the hard way, and my son walked in the dark through a park with a friend and nearly got attacked by a gang.
0 Votes
Well I raised a son and he did not have a curfew. He was home for dinner and stay in . As he got older he did not need one it gets dark he is home where he needs to be . My son is now married come dark he is home. Only time you find him out now is if he has to be out .
Now my daughter is a different subject she has a curfew and have to keep on her about it.
0 Votes
I think 9
0 Votes
nine to nine thirty.
0 Votes
It depends on what is going on. But when our 13 year old just wants to hang out with a friend at their house, then the curfew is 10-10:30pm. (summer time/weekends only when homework is completed) We always make sure the other parents are home. If it's the movies or a concert, I find out what time it ends, and allow time to travel home. We do NOT allow hanging out on the streets. For some reason, that's very common these days, and I won't allow it.
0 Votes
13 is not an age to get a curfew..its too young to be let loose on the streets. That's the problem with people..they think its OK to let their kids run the streets. There are too many young kids out there having sex, getting pregnant, doing drugs, and all that stupid stuff going on out there. My son will be 13 in October. When he goes somewhere, he gets a time limit, like an hour. He would not be told to go ahead and go out, come back at 9. That's bad parenting.
0 Votes
I would say to be in when the street lights come on. It's easier said than done though, especially in the winter. If he has a safe way home, either walking with someone else or he gets a ride, I'd say by 9pm. I have a 12 and 16yr old. I try to meet up with my 12yr half way.
0 Votes
When I was 13 the rule was when the corner street light went on your butt was home. Normally it was between 8-9pm.
0 Votes
We have a 15 yo girl, 14 yo boy, 12 yo boy and 11 yo girl. During the school year, if they can prove they don't have homework, they may stay out until 8pm. If they have homework it is in by 6pm (dinner time.) School nights it is upstairs in their rooms at 9pm for quiet time. They can control when they go to sleep but they do not have t.v.s in their rooms. So they can read (horrors!) or talk/play quietly. On the weekends they are able to be out front of our house until 10pm or at an supervised event until 10pm.
0 Votes
Dark has always been curfew in our family until you are old enough to drive. Of course there are exceptions if he is at a friends house and they are giving him a ride home. But for just playing outside, the street lights come on and it's time to come in.
0 Votes
My daughter just turned 14 and she plays w/her friends on our complex. She MUST be home when it starts getting dark....during the beginning of the summer it was around 9 but now it's around 8 since it gets darker sooner. during the school year it will prob be the same but of course she can only go out once her hw is finished.
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