What's your biggest fear as a parent?

Moms can't help but worry about their kids, especially in situations you can't control. What fear has plagued you the most as parent and has anything helped you overcome t?

19  Answers

12 20

I'm more afraid of anything that my daughter will be molested. And no nothing has helped me overcome. And I'm grateful for my paranoia. Less than 2 weeks ago we went to a wedding. My 4 year old made friends with another little girl, a few months older than her. The girls hated being inside where it was dark and the music was loud and wanted to be outside. It was very hot and muggy so I'd take them out for about 20 minutes and go back in for about 20 minutes. Everyone said, to just leave them outside because there were plenty adults outside smoking that would keep an eye on them. But I refused. Eventually I asked the other little girls mom to keep an eye on them since she was outside but to bring them in when she went back in. I told the girls to stay on the lawn and to go in when the other mom went inside. I covered all my bases...or so I thought. I was inside for about 6 minutes, holding my sleeping son when I saw the other mom back inside but didn't see the girls. I asked my mother in law to check outside where they were playing, and she didn't see them. I handed off my son and started running to the bathrooms and everywhere they might be inside. Everyone told me they were probably hiding under the tables and to calm down and not to make a scene. I ran outside and around the corner as I saw a black truck with a man jumping out towards the girls. Then he saw me ducked back in and sped off. So the story from the girls was that the men told the girls there was a pig in the abandoned house behind the property. The girls went to see but my daughter wouldn't go in when she saw how dark, dirty and scary it was. Her friend wanted to but my daughter wouldn't. She asked where the pig was and the men told them it ran away and asked the girls to help them find it. My daughter got scared and she dragged her friend away. Thats when they heard the truck speeding towards them and thought they were going to get hit and jumped out of the way and the man jumped down to grab them. If I hadn't been paranoid, and few seconds later, the girls would have been gone. I'm just mad that I wasn't paranoid enough that I trusted another mom. Lesson learned, just because someone else is a mom, doesn't make them motherly. Turns out she was too busy drinking and flirting to notice her daughter.

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13 3

I don't think this is fear. This is common sense. The only people who wouldn't have this fear are the moms who aren't motherly. Stick by your paranoia and hold your ground there. Sorry those guys went after your girl but glad you caught her in time

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0 0

My biggest fear in my life is that my kids end up hating me. i grew up with a very dominant mother and from an early age i always hated the way she treated my brothers and i. she has always wanted to control us in different ways and we have all distanced ourselves from her in our own ways. although i don't hate her any more and i do understand why she acted this way, i still don't agree with the way she went about it. I always loved my mother i just didn't like her.

Its because of this that i fear that my children might hate me and if they ever did it would destroy me. i'v tried to be everything my mother isn't but there is always that niggling fear at the back of my mind about getting what you give.

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19 14

i'm really terrified of losing my eldest daughter (6 yrs old) or her getting seriously injured. she has no sense of danger at all. constantly running up to animals, running down the road or the biggest one running off at the shops. she generally doesn't go far enough to be out of my sight but has been pushing the boundaries way too far. today she ran off as i was trying to pay for some photos. i thought she would turn back but she didnt so i ran after her. next thing i knew she was gone. i had two cleaners and a security guard looking with me. after breaking down into a mess discover she was back at the photo stand. i have explained to her, i've had police, teachers, other parents and shop staff tell her the dangers but she just doesn't seem concerned at all. does anyone have advice on what to do? my 3 yr old understands better than she does.

3
3 0

Here's what my mother did when my sister exhibited that kind of behavior, and what I did with my son when he was little. Tell your daughter that staying close is a grown-up thing she has to learn, or she will need to hold your hand at all times. When she shows you that she is grown up enough to stay close and safe without holding your hand, then you will allow her to wander a safe distance away. Then follow through. Take her out on some outings and insist that she hold your hand just like her 3 yr old sister. She might get angry, so just calmly explain that she hasn't yet shown you she's grown up enough and ignore her protests. Once you've done that enough times for her to know you're serious, choose a safe place where you can keep an eye on her, then explain that she can let go of your hand if she stays within a boundary (make sure it's a clear boundary that she can see and recognize). Remind her that this is an opportunity for her to show how grown up she has become, then help her by watching and giving her little reminders. If she's successful, praise her and tell her how proud you are of her. If she is not, tell her that she'll have another chance later but for now she'll need to hold your hand. Then follow through, and give her another opportunity later. As she gets better, give her more responsibility, but always let her know that it's an opportunity for her to show how grown up she is. Most likely, it will only take a couple of outings when she's forced to hold your hand before she starts to get the message. Good luck!

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125 11

My biggest fear was always keeping my children safe and finding the line between freedom and adventure and protection and control. I blew it. I raised a wonderful young man full of life and joy, but a little too adventurous. He died at 21 and I will forever know that I could have changed that. Even at that I don't know what the best advise is about fear. Some fears are founded. Fear without analysis and action is worthless. Figure out if your fear is real and if it is, deal with whatever is making you fearful. Chances are there may be a real danger.

3
35 0

I'm so sad for your loss!!! I lost my mom to breast cancer just over 8 yrs ago and I miss her something horrible, but to lose a child. I don't wish that on anyone!! Hugs!!

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0 0

bullying; there are many ways kids bully nowadays; it is so hurtful to these young child; when will it stop

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4 0

I agree...with our children so plugged in to social media the can be bullied 24/7....you should check out www.abeanstalk.com it is a service that helps parents by alerting them when their children are in harms way. You can get started for FREE. It has changed my life...

10 10

I think my biggest fear is not being able to protect my kids. I have three wonderful boys 8,7, and 3. I am not sure what I would do if something happened to them. If a predator of any kind were to hurt them, or they were in a car accident, or the influence of bad people on their lives. I am their mom. I don't want bad things to happen to my kids. I want... I need to believe that there is something I can do. Through much prayer and placing my faith in God I have come to accept that there are things I have absolutely no control over. And there are others that it is my God given responsibility to deal with head on. I think the "Serenity Prayer" sums it up entirely.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.
--Reinhold Niebuhr

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will direct your paths.

Proverbs 3: 5-6

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2 28

100% agree with you here!!! AMEN!!!

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3 0

My biggest fear is that I will spoil my kids....so I say no too much, and I don't give them what they want. I see that I have made their lives seem horrible in their eyes. I went over board. I have even held back love from them, but once I realized what I was doing and why, I've worked hard to stop it. But that voice in my head keep coming up and reminding me not to spoil them...so I am working at finding balance.

1
1 0

in my opinion, spoiling and loving are 2 very different things. I can never love my children enough. my parents loved me but never told me and i have extremely low self worth and esteem. my children will always know they are loved by my showing them and telling them - it does not mean they are spoilt! spoiling is giving them everything they think they want and I dont do that. please hug you children lots and tell them they are loved. then they can love themselves and believe me - they will need that when they are grown up xxxx

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20 3

I have probably experienced my biggest fears: child molestation perpetrated by a baby sitter whom we trusted; threat of having my children taken away (they weren't, but the crazy person who instigated it made life very hard for us for a number of years - I won custody) and death of two of my (adult) children due to disease (leukemia and cancer).

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12 20

wow...that just made my heart stop. Those are all my biggest fears. And you had all of them happen? I'm very sorry for all of it.

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1

They won't be successful and live on the streets.

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0 80

My child is helpless and does not know how to handle.

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0 0

My biggest fear also is that my sons will be molested or taken. My father and his sisters were molested by their father. Unfortunately, they say it's most commonly someone the family knows. I trust very few people with my children. Fortunately,I live in a small cul-de-sac and so anyone who doesn't belong sitcks out.
Taking my oldest son to preschool was the hardest thing for me. To top it off he wasn't potty trained yet so he had to have someone change his diaper. I know everyone gets background checks, but you just never know. What comforted me was that there were curtains on the bathroom stalls and the main door was left open. It's a small crowed preschool packed with teachers and no place for anyone to hide.
But still very challenging to trust people. Unfortunately this is the way you have to think in today's world.

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1 0

Fear is False Evidence Appearing Real. Fear is projecting into the future - what MIGHT be. If I live in today, be the best mum that I can be today - then that is ok. I am sure in the future there will be days when my kids hate me or whatever, but for today I am a good enough mum and that is ok.

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0 17

I am a mother of 2. 9 year old boy and 6 year old girl. I am a young mom almost 28 years old. I have suffered from an eating disorder for around 8 years and went in for treatment going on three years now... Been in recovery for 3 years and I believe I'm doing wellmand all that I can. But my biggest fear is that one or both of my children willmend up suffering from what I have suffered from! To be more clear I am in recovery from anorexia and am still very underweight. My children see this and have made comments on how skinny mommy is! This scares me more than anything... I do not want my children to think that what mommy looks like is supposed to be what they need to look like. I have talked with the both of them and have explained as best as I could considering their ages... But, I have heard them say things like "I'm fat" or judge other by their appearances. I think I have a handle on being truthful and open with my children to make them understand that mommy was sick and I am still getting better?! But the fear is there! Any input would be greatly appreciated :)

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0 17

Any moms out there with advice for me???

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0 0

i recently have had my daughter involved with a boy at school. actually she says they have liked each other since the 5th grade. She is now in 7th. I have had trouble with this boy and a friend constantly telling my daughter that he is breaking up with her-they go nowhere,mind you,because shes only 12-but this breaks her heart and im not sure how to approach this and how to help her cope. Please any advice as to how to keep her away from this boy and how to approach things.
THANKS,
MOTHER PATIENTLY WAITING

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3 0

I have not had this problem with my daughter, since she is very strong willed and has not interest in boys, but I was very prone to heartbreak as a child. I don't know why for sure, but I think it was because I didn't know how valuable I was as a person. Some kids seems to born knowing their worth, while others need to be taught. Perhaps you can talk to her, or give her a book about her self worth. She needs to know she doesn't need a boy to like her...as a matter of fact, she is probably more valuable without a boy until she meets one who loves her unconditionally which probably won't happen until she is much older. There are so many great books out there...maybe even take her to the store and help her find one together. She is a shinning star, but if she doesn't know it, she will seek the approval of others. I did this for years, and when I finally broke free from the lie, it was amazing! Good luck!

0 7

As a working mum, my worry is leaving my children with a nanny who is not a relation, and thinking suppose she decides to run away with my kids. I just leave everything in the hands of God

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8 22

Sending her to Preschool. I have never left her with a stranger, and now I am just suposed to just drop her off and hope for the best. Seems kinda crazy to me

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35 0

Well since you've never left her w/a stranger, maybe you should homeschool or maybe set her free a little! But yes it's sooo hard, you will shed many a tears!! And 1st grade doesn't get any easier!!((

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6 0

i have a few fears, the main one is that my girls will grow up and disappear not wanting to know me anymore. what i really want is for them to grow up knowing and respecting me as their mum but also as a friend someone they can confide in but dont always turn out that way. my other is them being bullied!! i would do anything to keep them from this, my youngest daughter has vitiligo so its more likely to effect her but hoping she will grow up very outgoing and sociable so this shouldnt matter

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25 16

I think that we need to teach our kids to 'not believe the bullies'. When I look back on my childhood I was definitely bullied, but, even as an elementary school child I CHOSE not to believe what they said. As the quotation goes "it's not what they call you, it is what you answer to." Good luck...you will do fine!

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35 0

Getting our youngest child through her last 4 grades of highschool. She's really struggling w/math and I don't know how to help her, she does tutoring 4-5 days a week. I'm totally freaked that she might not graduate. I've even switched schools to a smaller school where there are only like 10-14 kids per math class!((

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13 3

What state are you in? Can she take just that class online or at home or in the summer? I hope she makes it....you too. Isn't it frustrating wanting to help them when you can't? Good luck

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13 3

My son is 19 and my biggest fear has not changed over the years. His asthma has kept me awake praying his whole life cause I can't decide when he will breathe and when he won't or whether drugs will work or not. He is a little dare devil and his stunts have worried me too. But, these are not the biggest. The biggest fear when he was 5 and sending him to kindergarten was letting him go and putting his day in the hands of his teacher and classmates. Now, it is him moving away and going to college and putting his life in the hands of employers, professors, girlfriends, buddies. Will he get a fair break? Will they treat him right? I know him as a loving, charming, talented brilliant young man. He is capable and I trust him. But I don't think anyone will ever love him like me and if I could have anything for him it would be the world embracing and loving him just as much.

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0 8

I have asthma and have been supported by so many people over the years. Rest assured that there is still good in people and that there will always be someone to help.

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