When is it the right time to get your daughter a bra?
Every girl develops differently, but how do you know when your daughter is ready for her first bra?
When you start to see "buds" poking out of their t-shirts or dresses. If they don't cover up the blooms, other kids will notice and tease. Kids can be cruel about stupid stuff...even the onset of puberty...so make it a fun day out to get her her first bra....I never understood why they were called training bra's since the things have a mind of their own once they start to develop. My mom and I went to our favorite department store and she and I both got measured and fitted. Her for a new one me for my first. She went first so that I wouldn't freak when the older lady came after me with a tape measure. Then I got to try on and pick the two or three that I liked. Back then there were not the choices there are today... When it's time you'll know...Girls day out!!!
My daughter started showing last year. She was about 8 years old. So, we had a fun day bra shopping at Justice. She also started needing deoderant. My pediatrician told me about a great book about development and taking care of yourself by American Girl called, "The Care and Keeping of You." I read it with her & it really opened communication up for us, which is really important for this time. I usually end every conversation with, "Do you have any questions?"
Hi all - isn't it wonderful to share the discovery of their body changes with them? My daughter started her period before she turned 11 last year and at the same time, she needed to start wearing bra's. I had a different challenge with my daughter - although she developed slowly "topside" her physical size (at 11 she was 5ft6) created some challenges... we couldn't find an acup bra in a size that fitted her properly. I quickly realised that there was a huge gap in the market when it came to taller girls. W ended up at the sporting store and bought a "lightweight" sportsbra for her. She is comfortable wearing it and it doubles as a camisole under lighter materials..
One thing that I started in celebration of her period... We go out for "happy period day" ice cream every month. This time is ours and she has the opportuntiy to ask me ANY 10 questions... I too may ask 10 questions...
It creates a magical time for us and opens lines of communication about all sorts of interesting things.. that tweens think and wonder about.
I trust that some of what I wrote here will help other moms who have kids who do not "fit the mould".
I would also like to mention that some girls out there want to wear a little sports bra or similar even though they may not physically require it. I have always been open with my daughter and if having one on makes her feel more like her friends and keeps her from feeling self-conscious, then I am all for it. I definitely believe that as soon as the budding starts though, it's a must!!
I have a question from a step mom's point of view. My step daughter is 10 and in 5th grade. Her dad and I have been together since she was one, so she grew up in our house for a long time. I have a son her age and my husband and I also have a 6 year old daughter and 4 year old son. She has been 'developing' for a few months now. We have been having her wear cami's under her shirts for about two years. In the past few months she has been showing a lot more through her shirts and other people around us have been noticing. We went out and got her some crop top tank tops to wear instead of the cami's. It gives her a little more coverage. My husband tried having a conversation with her mom about it and told her she needs to start caring about the appearance of her body. It is time she starts wearing something under her shirts. Her mom just yelled and said he is trying to make her grow up too fast and she didn't need anything. She DOES need it. Her mom doesn't even have her wear a tank top under her shirts. When she comes here, you can see right through them, and it looks very bad.
My question is, if her mom refuses to take her to the store to pick out some trainer bras, is it okay that I do it for her? I just want what is best for her, and she needs to be covered. My six year old always wears a tank top under thin shirts. I just think girls of all ages should be covered and if you can see through the shirt, something needs to be done about it.
buy her a bra when she needs it do not ingnore the fact your child is turning into a woman always be honest about what going on cause it is a harder thing for them if they dont understand especally like me mine started to grow around 9 or 10 but i wasn't given a training bra for another two years please dont let your daughters have to suffer always talk and comunicate because the other children at school can be very nasty when it comes to these things communication and paying attention is the key to no when to take them shopping and make sure they have an imput in what they have to wear everyday as well
How old is your daughter? Have you discussed bras with her yet? If she is feeling self-conscious, but not developed enough in the chest yet, get her a camisole to wear under her tops. I believe I started wearing a bra in junior high (7th and 8th grade). I did start off with white camisoles until I actually had something to put into a bra.
My daughter is going to turn 11 on Jan. 19th and has been wearing a REAL bra for this entire school year (5th) and was wearing camis then sport bras for the 2 years prior so we had to start in 3rd grade. It's amazing to me that she's already having to wear a full on lightly padded (the sports bras didn't offer the extra modesty) A cup bra. She struggles to fasten it still so I do it for her but she's getting the hang of it slowly. With our "talks" I've used various websites that offer drawings or photos of the stages of breast development and a few that go into "friendly" detail of overall puberty signs and stages.
Breast Development site we used: http://puberty101.com/girls/stages-of-breasts/ (drawings with basic descriptions)
We are currently at stage 4 at 10 years of age. <sigh>
Edit: more in-depth site but probably boring for a younger kid to read through. http://www.007b.com/breast_development.php WARNING: this site has actual photos in case you are uncomfortable with that. Also this second site is great for us adults if you've ever felt self-conscious or were just wondering there is an extensive gallery of real women showing off their real normal breasts proving there are no "perfect" boobs out there. (might be good if you have a teenager who is self-conscious as well)
I took my daughter to M&S and she was mortified at the thought of having to be measured and was adamant she wasn't taking her top off! I explained that bra measuring was one of the nicer things a woman has to go through in her life. I was very naive when the lady came back with a padded bra (for a 11year old?!!) and said it would be better in the cold - I responded by saying that the cold wouldn't be a problem as she would be wearing a vest. Then the penny dropped and meant about nipples showing and it could be a problem in school with her having the mick taken out of her! Came away with 2 bras which she loves. the lady in M&S dealt with it so well.
It was bra's one week and then periods the next - and don't know who was more shocked me or my daughter as I wasn't expecting any of that untl she was 16 like me!!
If nipples are beginning to be seen through clothing it is time for something. Whether it is cute shelfed cami or an actual training bra will depend on what she will wear. She may be embarrassed about the experience or thrilled to be experiencing this right of passage. Either way be supportive.
Put it on her the second she is born. IT MUST BE POKEDOT!
she's ready when she asks for one, regardless of her stage of physical development.
My daughter is almost 5 and she wanted a training bra. Since I was an early developer and she is built like I was, I was like sure and we bought 2. Her father and step-father believe that I have jumped the gun, but I feel like they are over-reacting. Shouldnt her asking for one and wanting to wear one be a positive thing? I dont want her to be horrified when we start real bra shopping. I mean seriously I had boobs by the 3rd-4th grade.
When she needs one, when you notice breasts growig. It's not about age, it's about development
I have mentioned to my 9 (almost 10) year old daughter a few times lately that I have noticed her breasts are developing and asked her if she has noticed the change. The first time I asked her, she said they feel different and bought her some crop tops but she never wears them.
I'm starting to get more concerned as they are becoming much more noticeable.
This evening I said to her that it might be a good idea to go and get measured for a bra and she didn't like it one bit. She started crying and stormed off.
I've explained to her that her body is changing and she may well start her period soon and will start noticing hair but it's like she's burying her head in the sand and doesn't want to face up to it.
She's a very sensitive girl so I have to approach her with caution on issues like this as I don't want to scare her or upset her but i'm worried that if she doesn't face up to it soon, she may start getting picked on.
Any advise would be appreciated.
My answer to this is a simple one. If your daughter is starting to feel self consious about her breasts developing than I think it is time to discuss her wearing a training bra. i think she would be delighted at the prospect. However if like me you had a daughter who didn't want to acknowledge these "annoying breasts" and if her breasts are starting to show then you also need to talk to her. She can wear a sports bra if she doesn't like the idea of a proper bra, these are more comfortable and help her get used to wearing a bra.
I agree with the idea of a sports bra to start off. My daughter is only 7 and has already outgrown a size. She was super excited to go and get her bras. We bought enough for her to trade and even a couple of different colors. I am glad to hear of other girls who are developing early.
That is a hard one, I mean I think they need to be seen a little if you get me, you ge kids bras these days. Kids mature at different times, so you know your child.
My mom took me when I was young for a training bra, because she had developed really quickly at a very young age and missed the training bra all together. She got her first bra because a teacher at her school who had 3 daughters took her to the store and bought her one. It was a D cup and she was 9. So, by the time I was 9, I had a training bra, but I wasn't the first one in my class to have one... So, as soon as my daughter came home talking about how someone had a bra, I asked her if she wanted to get one. We went shopping and got her some that were more of a sports bra or crop top type. We also bought her small sized feminine products and together put them somewhere she knew where they were in case she started her period and I wasn't home so she wouldn't have to tell her dad if she didn't want to. Then, we had a mani/pedi to celebrate girl time and impending womanhood! It was a good day!! :D
My daughter just turned eleven and she has been wearing a bra for nearly two years now! We started with just sports bras because she wasn't "big" enough for a regular bra. Just a few days ago I measured her for a normal grown up bra because she has been busting...literally out of the sports bras and she was complaining they were getting too tight. OMG 34B. That almost my size! Kinda jealous! So we went out and bought big girl bras and at first she was resistant! She wanted to stick with sports bras but I explained that she was getting too big and needed more support! We picked out some white ones for thin light colored shirts and fun colorful ones for darker shirts and she is much more comfortable now. Basically I put my foot down about her havin to wear bras when nipples were showing through clothing! We've been battling the greasy hair, BO, and zits too! Luckily I had the talk about periods before she started so it wouldn't freak her out. An she is still trying to get in the habit of deodorant daily!
It depends on when they grow em. But even a 10 year old should be given them even if they don't have any boobies yet. I'd probably just start them off at 8 and the when they start to "show" go buy them underwire ones. Anyway it's a good way to instill "booby pride" in them. Make them proud and comfortable with themselves and what they have. Plus make them comfortable to talk openly about woman stuff
My duaghter has very small buds and is 11, but for her wearing a bra is more about the peer pressure. We had gotten that American Girl book" The Care and Keeping of You" and read it together. She had been wearing cami's with a short second layer under it for about a year already. My duaghter wrote me a lovely letter asking to go bra shopping. I told her that I didn't think she quite needed one yet and said let's wait about 6 months. I then received a second letter asking to go and I agreed, even though I didn't think that she needed one yet. Justice has the ones that aren't padded, but are way too expensive. Target's are the right price, but are padded, which I'm not really thrilled about, but we got them from Target and she's pretty happy about them.
I think that it depends on how they develope and how you approach it. we were in trainers and lined cami's when my daughter started to develope buds and they were minor believe me at 9. She has worn them since and this year graduated to fullblown bra's. I think that dads need to be taught how to speak with their girls as well on this subject. My hubby noticed the need when she was wearing a cami and it didn't cover enough under the t-shirt she was wearing when she got cold. He approached me and then I talked with her. She also talked with her Dad about why from a gentlemans perspective it was important for her. We went and got her a couple that day but the next day i was out with my hubby and he saw a cute set top and bottoms(boy shorts) and got it for her. She loves that set the best and stated she was glad her dad thought enough about her to make sure she had what she needed. She is in 5th grade and will be 11 in March and just hit the next puberty step thankfully she was prepared to tell me or my husband as I was not home and he was able to say ok not a problem its part of becoming a young lady your mom has stuff in your bathroom for you. She sailed through it just fine. So moms include your dads too they see things a bit different and may see a need before we do.
I have 2 daughters... My oldest is 10 1/2 (5th grade) and she has been wearing a bra daily for about 2 years now. She actually came to me when she was in 2nd or 3rd grade and told me that some of her friends at school wear a bra and asked if she could get one. Even though I didn't feel it was necessary (however, she had started developing slightly) at that point, I felt it was a good opportunity to talk about it. She had been "developing" in other areas prior to that and was already needing to wear deoderant. I told her this was just another step to growing up and being that she has seen me without clothing she realizes that she will someday look similar to mom in the aspect that she will develop the same things mom has. I think she was about 6 when she looked at me one day and pointed to my breasts and asked when she was going to get those. I told her when she was older. Little did I realize I was only a couple years away from "needing" to have that conversation. We have since discussed many things about puberty and growing up. I thought it would be awkward but found that it wasn't so bad. I found and her pediatrician recommended getting the American Girl book The Care and Keeping of You. This book is great and helps explain a lot about puberty and development for girls. It is a great guide to help talk about all the topics of a girl growing up. My daughter and I have read parts of the book as we approach certain topics and discuss it. I have found it has help her and she feels comfortable asking questions after reading it. It works for us.
Now I just am waiting to repeat with my 2nd daughter. She is now 9 1/2 and I noticed the other day that we are going to have to have the bra talk in the not so distant future. But not quite yet.
My daughter is nearly 11 and as she hates vests has worn crop tops for some time. I have gradually got her ones that are more bra like and now that she is 28A have been getting her trainer bras. There have been no problems just a gradual progression. I can tell from what appears in the washing which ones she is most comfortable with.
whenever you or her feels like she needs one. i got mine at 8 yrs old i am 13 and i have a few friends who have never worn one yet. and yes thay ane girls that are my same age!
My daughter start at 71/2yrs .. I was thinking because she is a little chunky..
It's hard when they DON'T want to wear one. I've been letting her wear a snug tank for a little extra coverage, but she really resents getting older and needing one (she's past training bra sizes). She's got some sports bras and will wear them if I push the issue, but I don't want to turn it into a power struggle. It's not MY body, after all.
My daughter is 8 & didn't need one yet, but I mentioned the option of getting one. She didn't take me up on it that day, but asked for one a couple of weeks later. I thought it is good to let her be comfortable w/ it before she may need it. My 6 y/o wanted one too, so they both got one. It is not a regular bra, but the sleep bra type made of cotton.
I agree with the many who have said when the buds start pushing her shirt out. I got my first bra at 10. My daughter got her first bra at seven! Age really isn't an issue here. I do have a friend with a 14-year-old who hasn't started budding yet but wears a bra anyway. Mainly because girls in high school change in front of each other for gym and she didn't want her daughter to be teased about not wearing one.
I bought my daughter a bra when she was about 10 yrs old.
Shouldnt b a question about but development.
Take her when she begins developing breasts. My daughter is in plus sizes, so she has been wearing them since she was around 5 and 1//2 years old. I only make her wear one (sports bra) if she has on a thin or low-cut shirt. I don't need any perverts noticing my baby...who is sadly turning into a young lady sooner than expected. She is so big, tall, and smart, people think she is 8 when she is only barely 6. I would start with sports bras or something similar. My daughter liked picking out Hello Kitty bras and matching panties at Target recently. The bras slide on like sports bras, but they have normal triangular cups and they are really cute.
My daughter will be 10 in September and she just started needing something to cover up a few months ago. I went a just picked out sports bra type bras and she was so happy! Some of her friends are already wearing them so she was happy to join them. On the other, dad wasn't so happy. He almost had a heart attack and told me I was trying to make her act older than she was. We have 2 more daughters after her so I need to try to figure out how to make dad okay with them growing up! Our 5 year old is dying for a haircut but he won't even agree to that!
When did girls start developing so EARLY? 8? 9? Oh my goodness. I'm starting to think there's something to that hormones in the food controversy...
I believe bras are not healthy. Experts have determined that bras cause breast cancer. So my daughters are not allowed to wear a bra while living in my house. When they grow up and move out, if they want to buy a bra and wear a bra, so be it. But while they are under my care, they will not be wearing bras. They won't be getting breast cancer because of me. And since many of you are now going to wonder, I don't ever wear a bra.
It's not easy to watch my baby girl grow up, but I knew it was going to happen. My daughter is 9 and when she had her yearly check up in May, the docter confirmed my thoughts...she was into her pre-puberty stage. Part of me was happy and the other part of me was thinking she's not my baby anymore!! My daughter is not afraid of her body and so I looked at this as a bonus for me.
The day before school started we went shoe shopping and eventually had to look for her size in the womens section. I used this as my opportunity to purchase training bras. Shoe shopping turned into bra shopping and she was so excited and couldn't wait to whisper her joy to her grandma. My mom says "why did you get her those, she has all her life to wear them?" My answer was she's excited about growing up, I want to teach her to love and respect her body while she's still young enough to listen to everything I have. I was caught off guard when I hit puberty and wore clothes that were too big to hide my chest. I don't want her to go through that same thing. Of course you have to teach your daughter how to love it but don't flaunt it.
We also have the American Girls book and she enjoyed reading it herself. She has already been wearing a natural deoderant w/o all the chemicals, but since reading the book, she's more aware.
My daughter is ten. She has been wearing a bra for a few months. I notice her putting on a few extra pounds and some minor mood changes. We went to Target and got the American Girl book " The Caring and Keeping of You". The book has help A LOT!!! She is open about her changes and is accepting of them. Good luck with everything the books help!!!
I remember when I needed one in grade five. It was horrible, I either got teased because I had something or teased because other kids didnt't think I had enough. The funny part was that the "popular" girls really wanted to look at it ane see what they looked like, Aaahh to be a teenager again