What is an appropriate age for girls to start wearing thong underwear?
318 Answers
When is it the right time to get your daughter a bra?
Every girl develops differently, but how do you know when your daughter is ready for her first bra?
40 Answers
36 Votes
When you start to see "buds" poking out of their t-shirts or dresses. If they don't cover up the blooms, other kids will notice and tease. Kids can be cruel about stupid stuff...even the onset of puberty...so make it a fun day out to get her her first bra....I never understood why they were called training bra's since the things have a mind of their own once they start to develop. My mom and I went to our favorite department store and she and I both got measured and fitted. Her for a new one me for my first. She went first so that I wouldn't freak when the older lady came after me with a tape measure. Then I got to try on and pick the two or three that I liked. Back then there were not the choices there are today... When it's time you'll know...Girls day out!!!
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Kristine - commented on Jan 25, 2012
I LOVE this answer. How creative and sweet of your mother! My daughter is a tomboy and buying a bra is going to be an interesting experience, I think. Thank you for sharing - I think this is JUST how I will handle this!
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Marylee - commented on Jan 26, 2012
If your daughter finds bras uncomfortable, look into the sports-bra style. They're more shirt-like and a lot more comfortable.
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Elaine - commented on Feb 14, 2012
I am glad to hear that I am not the only one who has an 8-9 year old who needs a bra. My daughter had to start wearing deod when she was 7. She just started wearing bras a few weeks ago. The first day, on a Sat. to get used to them, she saw her dad (we are divorced) and he snappped her bra. She was to embaresed to say anything untill she got home. It is hard enough to be the first kid in class to need a bra with out help from dad! Thanks for the suggestion of the book.
24 Votes
My daughter started showing last year. She was about 8 years old. So, we had a fun day bra shopping at Justice. She also started needing deoderant. My pediatrician told me about a great book about development and taking care of yourself by American Girl called, "The Care and Keeping of You." I read it with her & it really opened communication up for us, which is really important for this time. I usually end every conversation with, "Do you have any questions?"
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Shauna - commented on Jan 11, 2012
The Care and Keeping of You is one of the best books out there. My daughter uses that as a guide for herself. She just asks me any questions she has.
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Gina - commented on Jan 19, 2012
Thank you for the book suggestion. I have a 9 year old daughter that keeps asking for a bra because her friends wear them...but she doesn't need one yet. I think this book will really help her and I communicate better about this.
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Audrey - commented on Jan 24, 2012
I have that book for my daughter, too. LOVE IT. She is starting to "poke out" and I've mentioned wearing a bra to her. She is totally against it b/c there are girls in her class that make comments about the girls that are already wearing bras. I gave her the option for now, to wear the tank tops with the built in bras. She's fine with that and it does the trick ....for now.
11 Votes
Hi all - isn't it wonderful to share the discovery of their body changes with them? My daughter started her period before she turned 11 last year and at the same time, she needed to start wearing bra's. I had a different challenge with my daughter - although she developed slowly "topside" her physical size (at 11 she was 5ft6) created some challenges... we couldn't find an acup bra in a size that fitted her properly. I quickly realised that there was a huge gap in the market when it came to taller girls. W ended up at the sporting store and bought a "lightweight" sportsbra for her. She is comfortable wearing it and it doubles as a camisole under lighter materials..
One thing that I started in celebration of her period... We go out for "happy period day" ice cream every month. This time is ours and she has the opportuntiy to ask me ANY 10 questions... I too may ask 10 questions...
It creates a magical time for us and opens lines of communication about all sorts of interesting things.. that tweens think and wonder about.
I trust that some of what I wrote here will help other moms who have kids who do not "fit the mould".
With appreciation
Nora
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Joanne - commented on Feb 1, 2012
'happy period day' that is a fantastic idea thanks!!
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Ruth - commented on Mar 1, 2012
My daughter who turned 8 in december started to wear little crop tops. What a lovely, kind thing to do for your daugther pat on the back for you. Will keep this in mind for when the time comes. Thank you.xxx
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Lisa - commented on Mar 20, 2012
My 9 year old just started wearing bralets. They are cute little half cami's with adjustable straps. She loves them! And they come in great prints (monkeys, frogs, etc) that are age appropriate. I LOVE the Happy Period Day idea! Dr thinks she might be "pre" premenstrual: we deal with stomach pain and moodiness every month but thankfully nothing else thus far. One monumental thing at a time please! lol :-)
10 Votes
I would also like to mention that some girls out there want to wear a little sports bra or similar even though they may not physically require it. I have always been open with my daughter and if having one on makes her feel more like her friends and keeps her from feeling self-conscious, then I am all for it. I definitely believe that as soon as the budding starts though, it's a must!!
6 Votes
I have a question from a step mom's point of view. My step daughter is 10 and in 5th grade. Her dad and I have been together since she was one, so she grew up in our house for a long time. I have a son her age and my husband and I also have a 6 year old daughter and 4 year old son. She has been 'developing' for a few months now. We have been having her wear cami's under her shirts for about two years. In the past few months she has been showing a lot more through her shirts and other people around us have been noticing. We went out and got her some crop top tank tops to wear instead of the cami's. It gives her a little more coverage. My husband tried having a conversation with her mom about it and told her she needs to start caring about the appearance of her body. It is time she starts wearing something under her shirts. Her mom just yelled and said he is trying to make her grow up too fast and she didn't need anything. She DOES need it. Her mom doesn't even have her wear a tank top under her shirts. When she comes here, you can see right through them, and it looks very bad.
My question is, if her mom refuses to take her to the store to pick out some trainer bras, is it okay that I do it for her? I just want what is best for her, and she needs to be covered. My six year old always wears a tank top under thin shirts. I just think girls of all ages should be covered and if you can see through the shirt, something needs to be done about it.
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Kristine - commented on Jan 25, 2012
I def think it is a great idea for you to get her some bras, even if her mom doesn't want her baby to grow up, it is happening and I am glad she has you in her life to help her out in this area. I would probably keep the bras at your house - her mom might see them and "destroy"/throw them away? Or tell her to keep them in a special spot or put them on in the bathroom at school. It's a shame that her mom isn't helping in that area.
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Dawn - commented on Jan 25, 2012
Absolutely! Take her shopping for other things and broach the subject. Make it fun. If her mom isn't willing or able to teach her how to properly, comfortable and confidentally go through this transition in life then as a significant role model in her life, I think you have every right to do it. Good luck(:)
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Lauren - commented on Jan 25, 2012
I think you should definitely take her shopping and buy her a few bras, and it's nice that you have thought of it for her. But please don't tell her to hide them or anything, as that will only make tension between her mother and father that much more strained. I would suggest buying the really girly type, as opposed to the proper "lady" typs first bras that are out there. Letting go of your baby and watching her grow older is hard for a mother to do, but I'm sure that once she sees how much more comfortable her daughter is wearing them, she will come around.
5 Votes
buy her a bra when she needs it do not ingnore the fact your child is turning into a woman always be honest about what going on cause it is a harder thing for them if they dont understand especally like me mine started to grow around 9 or 10 but i wasn't given a training bra for another two years please dont let your daughters have to suffer always talk and comunicate because the other children at school can be very nasty when it comes to these things communication and paying attention is the key to no when to take them shopping and make sure they have an imput in what they have to wear everyday as well
4 Votes
How old is your daughter? Have you discussed bras with her yet? If she is feeling self-conscious, but not developed enough in the chest yet, get her a camisole to wear under her tops. I believe I started wearing a bra in junior high (7th and 8th grade). I did start off with white camisoles until I actually had something to put into a bra.
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Carla - commented on Jul 28, 2011
I have a 10 year old.. She just started wearing bras in the last couple weeks. I just took her when i noticed she was "growing" for a lack of better word. We didn't have a big talk about it. I just asks her if she wanted to go look at bras. It was fun relaxed afternoon. we started out in sport bra looking ones and they seem to be the most comfortable. She doesn't have enough to "fill" but, i can tell when she isn't wearing one. Her dad made the mistake (divorced single dad) of telling her she HAD to wear a bra because she was "developing" that didnt sit to well with her. She obviously knew why she was getting it and his talk just made her feel uncomfortable in her skin.. She will going into 5th grade in a couple weeks.. and i think i started wanting to wear one is 6th grade.
3 Votes
My daughter is going to turn 11 on Jan. 19th and has been wearing a REAL bra for this entire school year (5th) and was wearing camis then sport bras for the 2 years prior so we had to start in 3rd grade. It's amazing to me that she's already having to wear a full on lightly padded (the sports bras didn't offer the extra modesty) A cup bra. She struggles to fasten it still so I do it for her but she's getting the hang of it slowly. With our "talks" I've used various websites that offer drawings or photos of the stages of breast development and a few that go into "friendly" detail of overall puberty signs and stages.
Breast Development site we used: http://puberty101.com/girls/stages-of-breasts/ (drawings with basic descriptions)
We are currently at stage 4 at 10 years of age. <sigh>
Edit: more in-depth site but probably boring for a younger kid to read through. http://www.007b.com/breast_development.php WARNING: this site has actual photos in case you are uncomfortable with that. Also this second site is great for us adults if you've ever felt self-conscious or were just wondering there is an extensive gallery of real women showing off their real normal breasts proving there are no "perfect" boobs out there. (might be good if you have a teenager who is self-conscious as well)
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JOHANNA - commented on Feb 28, 2012
Alayna, I'm 44 and I've never been able to fasten a bra normally ! I mean it's a feat and I get my back in a creak ! I just copied some of the girls in the changing rooms at school, put it around my waist with the hooks in front, fasten them, twist the bra back into place, pull the straps up and tadah ! (ok not a sexy manoeuvre in front of your hubby but we're talking about our little girls here !)
2 Votes
I took my daughter to M&S and she was mortified at the thought of having to be measured and was adamant she wasn't taking her top off! I explained that bra measuring was one of the nicer things a woman has to go through in her life. I was very naive when the lady came back with a padded bra (for a 11year old?!!) and said it would be better in the cold - I responded by saying that the cold wouldn't be a problem as she would be wearing a vest. Then the penny dropped and meant about nipples showing and it could be a problem in school with her having the mick taken out of her! Came away with 2 bras which she loves. the lady in M&S dealt with it so well.
It was bra's one week and then periods the next - and don't know who was more shocked me or my daughter as I wasn't expecting any of that untl she was 16 like me!!
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JOHANNA - commented on Feb 28, 2012
My own mother and I were early on our periods (she 10 and half and I 11 and half) so my middle daughter turning 11 on the 2nd it could be soon, she has developped buds and in fact looks like she may be top heavier than I was at her age (despite her being tall and slimmer than I was). And we dealt with the training bra affair without problems, she felt quite grown up and on a par with her friends at school. I'm more worried about the sanitary protections when she does get her periods as I can't see her using tampons and her frame makes me think pads are going to be quite cumbersome. I suppose she'll just have to get used to them....Also she's a scatter brain and not very particular so I'd be especially worried about tampon use as they have to be changed very regular (so do pads but they don't hold the danger that tampons do if not changed sufficiently).
2 Votes
If nipples are beginning to be seen through clothing it is time for something. Whether it is cute shelfed cami or an actual training bra will depend on what she will wear. She may be embarrassed about the experience or thrilled to be experiencing this right of passage. Either way be supportive.
1 Vote
Put it on her the second she is born. IT MUST BE POKEDOT!
1 Vote
she's ready when she asks for one, regardless of her stage of physical development.
1 Vote
My daughter is almost 5 and she wanted a training bra. Since I was an early developer and she is built like I was, I was like sure and we bought 2. Her father and step-father believe that I have jumped the gun, but I feel like they are over-reacting. Shouldnt her asking for one and wanting to wear one be a positive thing? I dont want her to be horrified when we start real bra shopping. I mean seriously I had boobs by the 3rd-4th grade.
1 Vote
When she needs one, when you notice breasts growig. It's not about age, it's about development
1 Vote
I have mentioned to my 9 (almost 10) year old daughter a few times lately that I have noticed her breasts are developing and asked her if she has noticed the change. The first time I asked her, she said they feel different and bought her some crop tops but she never wears them.
I'm starting to get more concerned as they are becoming much more noticeable.
This evening I said to her that it might be a good idea to go and get measured for a bra and she didn't like it one bit. She started crying and stormed off.
I've explained to her that her body is changing and she may well start her period soon and will start noticing hair but it's like she's burying her head in the sand and doesn't want to face up to it.
She's a very sensitive girl so I have to approach her with caution on issues like this as I don't want to scare her or upset her but i'm worried that if she doesn't face up to it soon, she may start getting picked on.
Any advise would be appreciated.
1 Vote
My answer to this is a simple one. If your daughter is starting to feel self consious about her breasts developing than I think it is time to discuss her wearing a training bra. i think she would be delighted at the prospect. However if like me you had a daughter who didn't want to acknowledge these "annoying breasts" and if her breasts are starting to show then you also need to talk to her. She can wear a sports bra if she doesn't like the idea of a proper bra, these are more comfortable and help her get used to wearing a bra.
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Patty - commented on Jun 6, 2012
One of mine is like this. She wants nothing to do with this discussion, leaves the room when we ever say anything. I've decided to leave it and she will realize in the next few months that it is necessary (I hope!). Her twin sister has been wearing a bra for 3 years! But they are completely different sizes (one is 8" taller and 45 lbs heavier and a 34c bra at 12 yrs old!). But if by sept (3months from now) she still isn't wearing them on her own accord (there are a few crop tops in her drawer) then I will insist, because she will be in grade 8 and I'm pretty sure they will be showing more than now.
1 Vote
I agree with the idea of a sports bra to start off. My daughter is only 7 and has already outgrown a size. She was super excited to go and get her bras. We bought enough for her to trade and even a couple of different colors. I am glad to hear of other girls who are developing early.
1 Vote
That is a hard one, I mean I think they need to be seen a little if you get me, you ge kids bras these days. Kids mature at different times, so you know your child.
1 Vote
My mom took me when I was young for a training bra, because she had developed really quickly at a very young age and missed the training bra all together. She got her first bra because a teacher at her school who had 3 daughters took her to the store and bought her one. It was a D cup and she was 9. So, by the time I was 9, I had a training bra, but I wasn't the first one in my class to have one... So, as soon as my daughter came home talking about how someone had a bra, I asked her if she wanted to get one. We went shopping and got her some that were more of a sports bra or crop top type. We also bought her small sized feminine products and together put them somewhere she knew where they were in case she started her period and I wasn't home so she wouldn't have to tell her dad if she didn't want to. Then, we had a mani/pedi to celebrate girl time and impending womanhood! It was a good day!! :D
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Teresa - commented on Jun 8, 2012
i love this comment, i to have a nine year old who will be 10 in October, she hates the fact of having to wear a bra, we had a little discussion about it, she has some bras that are more "cute" than anything. She will definatley need them before age 10. I love the way you went and got feminine products and talked to her about it. Im going to try that same method
1 Vote
My daughter just turned eleven and she has been wearing a bra for nearly two years now! We started with just sports bras because she wasn't "big" enough for a regular bra. Just a few days ago I measured her for a normal grown up bra because she has been busting...literally out of the sports bras and she was complaining they were getting too tight. OMG 34B. That almost my size! Kinda jealous! So we went out and bought big girl bras and at first she was resistant! She wanted to stick with sports bras but I explained that she was getting too big and needed more support! We picked out some white ones for thin light colored shirts and fun colorful ones for darker shirts and she is much more comfortable now. Basically I put my foot down about her havin to wear bras when nipples were showing through clothing! We've been battling the greasy hair, BO, and zits too! Luckily I had the talk about periods before she started so it wouldn't freak her out. An she is still trying to get in the habit of deodorant daily!
1 Vote
It depends on when they grow em. But even a 10 year old should be given them even if they don't have any boobies yet. I'd probably just start them off at 8 and the when they start to "show" go buy them underwire ones. Anyway it's a good way to instill "booby pride" in them. Make them proud and comfortable with themselves and what they have. Plus make them comfortable to talk openly about woman stuff
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Patty - commented on Jun 6, 2012
why would an 8, 9 or 10 year old need a bra if they don't have anything? THey have the rest of their lives to wear bras, no need to wear something uncomfortable until it's needed. I have twin girls and one started on crop tops at 9, smaller cotton bras at 10 and regular adult bras by 11. Her twin sister, now at 12, turning 13 in 3 months still does not need a bra! MY opinion is that you wear a bra when you need to, not just because you are a certain age. And you don't need a training bra, what are you training anyway?
1 Vote
My duaghter has very small buds and is 11, but for her wearing a bra is more about the peer pressure. We had gotten that American Girl book" The Care and Keeping of You" and read it together. She had been wearing cami's with a short second layer under it for about a year already. My duaghter wrote me a lovely letter asking to go bra shopping. I told her that I didn't think she quite needed one yet and said let's wait about 6 months. I then received a second letter asking to go and I agreed, even though I didn't think that she needed one yet. Justice has the ones that aren't padded, but are way too expensive. Target's are the right price, but are padded, which I'm not really thrilled about, but we got them from Target and she's pretty happy about them.
1 Vote
I think that it depends on how they develope and how you approach it. we were in trainers and lined cami's when my daughter started to develope buds and they were minor believe me at 9. She has worn them since and this year graduated to fullblown bra's. I think that dads need to be taught how to speak with their girls as well on this subject. My hubby noticed the need when she was wearing a cami and it didn't cover enough under the t-shirt she was wearing when she got cold. He approached me and then I talked with her. She also talked with her Dad about why from a gentlemans perspective it was important for her. We went and got her a couple that day but the next day i was out with my hubby and he saw a cute set top and bottoms(boy shorts) and got it for her. She loves that set the best and stated she was glad her dad thought enough about her to make sure she had what she needed. She is in 5th grade and will be 11 in March and just hit the next puberty step thankfully she was prepared to tell me or my husband as I was not home and he was able to say ok not a problem its part of becoming a young lady your mom has stuff in your bathroom for you. She sailed through it just fine. So moms include your dads too they see things a bit different and may see a need before we do.
1 Vote
I have 2 daughters... My oldest is 10 1/2 (5th grade) and she has been wearing a bra daily for about 2 years now. She actually came to me when she was in 2nd or 3rd grade and told me that some of her friends at school wear a bra and asked if she could get one. Even though I didn't feel it was necessary (however, she had started developing slightly) at that point, I felt it was a good opportunity to talk about it. She had been "developing" in other areas prior to that and was already needing to wear deoderant. I told her this was just another step to growing up and being that she has seen me without clothing she realizes that she will someday look similar to mom in the aspect that she will develop the same things mom has. I think she was about 6 when she looked at me one day and pointed to my breasts and asked when she was going to get those. I told her when she was older. Little did I realize I was only a couple years away from "needing" to have that conversation. We have since discussed many things about puberty and growing up. I thought it would be awkward but found that it wasn't so bad. I found and her pediatrician recommended getting the American Girl book The Care and Keeping of You. This book is great and helps explain a lot about puberty and development for girls. It is a great guide to help talk about all the topics of a girl growing up. My daughter and I have read parts of the book as we approach certain topics and discuss it. I have found it has help her and she feels comfortable asking questions after reading it. It works for us.
Now I just am waiting to repeat with my 2nd daughter. She is now 9 1/2 and I noticed the other day that we are going to have to have the bra talk in the not so distant future. But not quite yet.
1 Vote
My daughter is nearly 11 and as she hates vests has worn crop tops for some time. I have gradually got her ones that are more bra like and now that she is 28A have been getting her trainer bras. There have been no problems just a gradual progression. I can tell from what appears in the washing which ones she is most comfortable with.
1
0 Votes
The best way to get her a bra is to go shopping and buy her a load of clothes and include 1 or 2 bras and a couple of crop tops- see if she wears them and if she does then you can go ahead and get her more!
0 Votes
whenever you or her feels like she needs one. i got mine at 8 yrs old i am 13 and i have a few friends who have never worn one yet. and yes thay ane girls that are my same age!
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Kaylea - commented on Feb 5, 2013
i always were my bra i do not blieve that wearing a sports bra will give me breast cancer i never were a underwire even when i sleep i were a bra my dauters (if i have any) will also wewe bras i will not ban them from the things that stop there nipels from showing or there breasts sagging at 25!!!!!!!!!
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Kaylea - commented on Feb 5, 2013
how do kids in elamentry school know if each other are wereing bras. do girls go around bragging "i have a bra im the firt one in my class with one!!!!!!"
0 Votes
My daughter start at 71/2yrs .. I was thinking because she is a little chunky..
0 Votes
It's hard when they DON'T want to wear one. I've been letting her wear a snug tank for a little extra coverage, but she really resents getting older and needing one (she's past training bra sizes). She's got some sports bras and will wear them if I push the issue, but I don't want to turn it into a power struggle. It's not MY body, after all.
0 Votes
My daughter is 8 & didn't need one yet, but I mentioned the option of getting one. She didn't take me up on it that day, but asked for one a couple of weeks later. I thought it is good to let her be comfortable w/ it before she may need it. My 6 y/o wanted one too, so they both got one. It is not a regular bra, but the sleep bra type made of cotton.
0 Votes
I agree with the many who have said when the buds start pushing her shirt out. I got my first bra at 10. My daughter got her first bra at seven! Age really isn't an issue here. I do have a friend with a 14-year-old who hasn't started budding yet but wears a bra anyway. Mainly because girls in high school change in front of each other for gym and she didn't want her daughter to be teased about not wearing one.
0 Votes
I bought my daughter a bra when she was about 10 yrs old.
0 Votes
Shouldnt b a question about but development.
0 Votes
Take her when she begins developing breasts. My daughter is in plus sizes, so she has been wearing them since she was around 5 and 1//2 years old. I only make her wear one (sports bra) if she has on a thin or low-cut shirt. I don't need any perverts noticing my baby...who is sadly turning into a young lady sooner than expected. She is so big, tall, and smart, people think she is 8 when she is only barely 6. I would start with sports bras or something similar. My daughter liked picking out Hello Kitty bras and matching panties at Target recently. The bras slide on like sports bras, but they have normal triangular cups and they are really cute.
0 Votes
My daughter will be 10 in September and she just started needing something to cover up a few months ago. I went a just picked out sports bra type bras and she was so happy! Some of her friends are already wearing them so she was happy to join them. On the other, dad wasn't so happy. He almost had a heart attack and told me I was trying to make her act older than she was. We have 2 more daughters after her so I need to try to figure out how to make dad okay with them growing up! Our 5 year old is dying for a haircut but he won't even agree to that!
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0 Votes
When did girls start developing so EARLY? 8? 9? Oh my goodness. I'm starting to think there's something to that hormones in the food controversy...
0 Votes
I believe bras are not healthy. Experts have determined that bras cause breast cancer. So my daughters are not allowed to wear a bra while living in my house. When they grow up and move out, if they want to buy a bra and wear a bra, so be it. But while they are under my care, they will not be wearing bras. They won't be getting breast cancer because of me. And since many of you are now going to wonder, I don't ever wear a bra.
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Sherri - commented on Feb 13, 2012
I hope they don't play sports. Sorry but that is sick, to not allow such a thing.
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Beth - commented on Mar 1, 2012
I feel similarly. I keep my daughter and myself out of bras while in our home, and never wear the underwire bras. Sports, of course. There is a correlation. Not 'sick' at all.
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Patty - commented on Jun 6, 2012
Where in the world did you find research that shows that bras cause cancer???? Who are these experts? That is insane, if there was medical research to prove this, don't you think the news media and doctors would be aware of this and publicizing it?
0 Votes
It's not easy to watch my baby girl grow up, but I knew it was going to happen. My daughter is 9 and when she had her yearly check up in May, the docter confirmed my thoughts...she was into her pre-puberty stage. Part of me was happy and the other part of me was thinking she's not my baby anymore!! My daughter is not afraid of her body and so I looked at this as a bonus for me.
The day before school started we went shoe shopping and eventually had to look for her size in the womens section. I used this as my opportunity to purchase training bras. Shoe shopping turned into bra shopping and she was so excited and couldn't wait to whisper her joy to her grandma. My mom says "why did you get her those, she has all her life to wear them?" My answer was she's excited about growing up, I want to teach her to love and respect her body while she's still young enough to listen to everything I have. I was caught off guard when I hit puberty and wore clothes that were too big to hide my chest. I don't want her to go through that same thing. Of course you have to teach your daughter how to love it but don't flaunt it.
We also have the American Girls book and she enjoyed reading it herself. She has already been wearing a natural deoderant w/o all the chemicals, but since reading the book, she's more aware.
0 Votes
My daughter is ten. She has been wearing a bra for a few months. I notice her putting on a few extra pounds and some minor mood changes. We went to Target and got the American Girl book " The Caring and Keeping of You". The book has help A LOT!!! She is open about her changes and is accepting of them. Good luck with everything the books help!!!
0 Votes
I remember when I needed one in grade five. It was horrible, I either got teased because I had something or teased because other kids didnt't think I had enough. The funny part was that the "popular" girls really wanted to look at it ane see what they looked like, Aaahh to be a teenager again
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