When is it the right time to get your daughter a bra?

Every girl develops differently, but how do you know when your daughter is ready for her first bra?

40  Answers

7 33

When you start to see "buds" poking out of their t-shirts or dresses. If they don't cover up the blooms, other kids will notice and tease. Kids can be cruel about stupid stuff...even the onset of puberty...so make it a fun day out to get her her first bra....I never understood why they were called training bra's since the things have a mind of their own once they start to develop. My mom and I went to our favorite department store and she and I both got measured and fitted. Her for a new one me for my first. She went first so that I wouldn't freak when the older lady came after me with a tape measure. Then I got to try on and pick the two or three that I liked. Back then there were not the choices there are today... When it's time you'll know...Girls day out!!!

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2 4

I LOVE this answer. How creative and sweet of your mother! My daughter is a tomboy and buying a bra is going to be an interesting experience, I think. Thank you for sharing - I think this is JUST how I will handle this!

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5 103

My daughter started showing last year. She was about 8 years old. So, we had a fun day bra shopping at Justice. She also started needing deoderant. My pediatrician told me about a great book about development and taking care of yourself by American Girl called, "The Care and Keeping of You." I read it with her & it really opened communication up for us, which is really important for this time. I usually end every conversation with, "Do you have any questions?"

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1 38

The Care and Keeping of You is one of the best books out there. My daughter uses that as a guide for herself. She just asks me any questions she has.

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0 7

Hi all - isn't it wonderful to share the discovery of their body changes with them? My daughter started her period before she turned 11 last year and at the same time, she needed to start wearing bra's. I had a different challenge with my daughter - although she developed slowly "topside" her physical size (at 11 she was 5ft6) created some challenges... we couldn't find an acup bra in a size that fitted her properly. I quickly realised that there was a huge gap in the market when it came to taller girls. W ended up at the sporting store and bought a "lightweight" sportsbra for her. She is comfortable wearing it and it doubles as a camisole under lighter materials..
One thing that I started in celebration of her period... We go out for "happy period day" ice cream every month. This time is ours and she has the opportuntiy to ask me ANY 10 questions... I too may ask 10 questions...
It creates a magical time for us and opens lines of communication about all sorts of interesting things.. that tweens think and wonder about.

I trust that some of what I wrote here will help other moms who have kids who do not "fit the mould".
With appreciation
Nora

11
0 5

'happy period day' that is a fantastic idea thanks!!

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0 11

I would also like to mention that some girls out there want to wear a little sports bra or similar even though they may not physically require it. I have always been open with my daughter and if having one on makes her feel more like her friends and keeps her from feeling self-conscious, then I am all for it. I definitely believe that as soon as the budding starts though, it's a must!!

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0 0

Thank you for this. My daughter is 12 but has not yet started to develop as her other friends have. However, she has talked of feeling sensitive in that area for quite some time. She recently asked about getting a training bra and I said yes but our children are pressured to grow up so fast these days that I began to second guess myself. So thanks again for the reassurance.

0 6

I have a question from a step mom's point of view. My step daughter is 10 and in 5th grade. Her dad and I have been together since she was one, so she grew up in our house for a long time. I have a son her age and my husband and I also have a 6 year old daughter and 4 year old son. She has been 'developing' for a few months now. We have been having her wear cami's under her shirts for about two years. In the past few months she has been showing a lot more through her shirts and other people around us have been noticing. We went out and got her some crop top tank tops to wear instead of the cami's. It gives her a little more coverage. My husband tried having a conversation with her mom about it and told her she needs to start caring about the appearance of her body. It is time she starts wearing something under her shirts. Her mom just yelled and said he is trying to make her grow up too fast and she didn't need anything. She DOES need it. Her mom doesn't even have her wear a tank top under her shirts. When she comes here, you can see right through them, and it looks very bad.

My question is, if her mom refuses to take her to the store to pick out some trainer bras, is it okay that I do it for her? I just want what is best for her, and she needs to be covered. My six year old always wears a tank top under thin shirts. I just think girls of all ages should be covered and if you can see through the shirt, something needs to be done about it.

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2 4

I def think it is a great idea for you to get her some bras, even if her mom doesn't want her baby to grow up, it is happening and I am glad she has you in her life to help her out in this area. I would probably keep the bras at your house - her mom might see them and "destroy"/throw them away? Or tell her to keep them in a special spot or put them on in the bathroom at school. It's a shame that her mom isn't helping in that area.

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0 12

buy her a bra when she needs it do not ingnore the fact your child is turning into a woman always be honest about what going on cause it is a harder thing for them if they dont understand especally like me mine started to grow around 9 or 10 but i wasn't given a training bra for another two years please dont let your daughters have to suffer always talk and comunicate because the other children at school can be very nasty when it comes to these things communication and paying attention is the key to no when to take them shopping and make sure they have an imput in what they have to wear everyday as well

5
10 3

How old is your daughter? Have you discussed bras with her yet? If she is feeling self-conscious, but not developed enough in the chest yet, get her a camisole to wear under her tops. I believe I started wearing a bra in junior high (7th and 8th grade). I did start off with white camisoles until I actually had something to put into a bra.

5
0 12

I have a 10 year old.. She just started wearing bras in the last couple weeks. I just took her when i noticed she was "growing" for a lack of better word. We didn't have a big talk about it. I just asks her if she wanted to go look at bras. It was fun relaxed afternoon. we started out in sport bra looking ones and they seem to be the most comfortable. She doesn't have enough to "fill" but, i can tell when she isn't wearing one. Her dad made the mistake (divorced single dad) of telling her she HAD to wear a bra because she was "developing" that didnt sit to well with her. She obviously knew why she was getting it and his talk just made her feel uncomfortable in her skin.. She will going into 5th grade in a couple weeks.. and i think i started wanting to wear one is 6th grade.

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7 2

My daughter is going to turn 11 on Jan. 19th and has been wearing a REAL bra for this entire school year (5th) and was wearing camis then sport bras for the 2 years prior so we had to start in 3rd grade. It's amazing to me that she's already having to wear a full on lightly padded (the sports bras didn't offer the extra modesty) A cup bra. She struggles to fasten it still so I do it for her but she's getting the hang of it slowly. With our "talks" I've used various websites that offer drawings or photos of the stages of breast development and a few that go into "friendly" detail of overall puberty signs and stages.

Breast Development site we used: http://puberty101.com/girls/stages-of-breasts/ (drawings with basic descriptions)
We are currently at stage 4 at 10 years of age. <sigh>

Edit: more in-depth site but probably boring for a younger kid to read through. http://www.007b.com/breast_development.php WARNING: this site has actual photos in case you are uncomfortable with that. Also this second site is great for us adults if you've ever felt self-conscious or were just wondering there is an extensive gallery of real women showing off their real normal breasts proving there are no "perfect" boobs out there. (might be good if you have a teenager who is self-conscious as well)

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11 5

Alayna, I'm 44 and I've never been able to fasten a bra normally ! I mean it's a feat and I get my back in a creak ! I just copied some of the girls in the changing rooms at school, put it around my waist with the hooks in front, fasten them, twist the bra back into place, pull the straps up and tadah ! (ok not a sexy manoeuvre in front of your hubby but we're talking about our little girls here !)

0 0

I took my daughter to M&S and she was mortified at the thought of having to be measured and was adamant she wasn't taking her top off! I explained that bra measuring was one of the nicer things a woman has to go through in her life. I was very naive when the lady came back with a padded bra (for a 11year old?!!) and said it would be better in the cold - I responded by saying that the cold wouldn't be a problem as she would be wearing a vest. Then the penny dropped and meant about nipples showing and it could be a problem in school with her having the mick taken out of her! Came away with 2 bras which she loves. the lady in M&S dealt with it so well.
It was bra's one week and then periods the next - and don't know who was more shocked me or my daughter as I wasn't expecting any of that untl she was 16 like me!!

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11 5

My own mother and I were early on our periods (she 10 and half and I 11 and half) so my middle daughter turning 11 on the 2nd it could be soon, she has developped buds and in fact looks like she may be top heavier than I was at her age (despite her being tall and slimmer than I was). And we dealt with the training bra affair without problems, she felt quite grown up and on a par with her friends at school. I'm more worried about the sanitary protections when she does get her periods as I can't see her using tampons and her frame makes me think pads are going to be quite cumbersome. I suppose she'll just have to get used to them....Also she's a scatter brain and not very particular so I'd be especially worried about tampon use as they have to be changed very regular (so do pads but they don't hold the danger that tampons do if not changed sufficiently).

0 20

My daughter just turned eleven and she has been wearing a bra for nearly two years now! We started with just sports bras because she wasn't "big" enough for a regular bra. Just a few days ago I measured her for a normal grown up bra because she has been busting...literally out of the sports bras and she was complaining they were getting too tight. OMG 34B. That almost my size! Kinda jealous! So we went out and bought big girl bras and at first she was resistant! She wanted to stick with sports bras but I explained that she was getting too big and needed more support! We picked out some white ones for thin light colored shirts and fun colorful ones for darker shirts and she is much more comfortable now. Basically I put my foot down about her havin to wear bras when nipples were showing through clothing! We've been battling the greasy hair, BO, and zits too! Luckily I had the talk about periods before she started so it wouldn't freak her out. An she is still trying to get in the habit of deodorant daily!

2
0 0

If nipples are beginning to be seen through clothing it is time for something. Whether it is cute shelfed cami or an actual training bra will depend on what she will wear. She may be embarrassed about the experience or thrilled to be experiencing this right of passage. Either way be supportive.

2
0 0

i think that girls should look sexy

0 0

i don't think that girls should wear a bra because without bra they will look sexy.

1
8 0

Put it on her the second she is born. IT MUST BE POKEDOT!

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87 0

she's ready when she asks for one, regardless of her stage of physical development.

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0 0

My daughter is almost 5 and she wanted a training bra. Since I was an early developer and she is built like I was, I was like sure and we bought 2. Her father and step-father believe that I have jumped the gun, but I feel like they are over-reacting. Shouldnt her asking for one and wanting to wear one be a positive thing? I dont want her to be horrified when we start real bra shopping. I mean seriously I had boobs by the 3rd-4th grade.

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737 0

When she needs one, when you notice breasts growig. It's not about age, it's about development

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0 6

I have mentioned to my 9 (almost 10) year old daughter a few times lately that I have noticed her breasts are developing and asked her if she has noticed the change. The first time I asked her, she said they feel different and bought her some crop tops but she never wears them.

I'm starting to get more concerned as they are becoming much more noticeable.

This evening I said to her that it might be a good idea to go and get measured for a bra and she didn't like it one bit. She started crying and stormed off.

I've explained to her that her body is changing and she may well start her period soon and will start noticing hair but it's like she's burying her head in the sand and doesn't want to face up to it.

She's a very sensitive girl so I have to approach her with caution on issues like this as I don't want to scare her or upset her but i'm worried that if she doesn't face up to it soon, she may start getting picked on.

Any advise would be appreciated.

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40 0

Take her when she begins developing breasts. My daughter is in plus sizes, so she has been wearing them since she was around 5 and 1//2 years old. I only make her wear one (sports bra) if she has on a thin or low-cut shirt. I don't need any perverts noticing my baby...who is sadly turning into a young lady sooner than expected. She is so big, tall, and smart, people think she is 8 when she is only barely 6. I would start with sports bras or something similar. My daughter liked picking out Hello Kitty bras and matching panties at Target recently. The bras slide on like sports bras, but they have normal triangular cups and they are really cute.

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3 0

My daughter will be 10 in September and she just started needing something to cover up a few months ago. I went a just picked out sports bra type bras and she was so happy! Some of her friends are already wearing them so she was happy to join them. On the other, dad wasn't so happy. He almost had a heart attack and told me I was trying to make her act older than she was. We have 2 more daughters after her so I need to try to figure out how to make dad okay with them growing up! Our 5 year old is dying for a haircut but he won't even agree to that!

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7 2

My answer to this is a simple one. If your daughter is starting to feel self consious about her breasts developing than I think it is time to discuss her wearing a training bra. i think she would be delighted at the prospect. However if like me you had a daughter who didn't want to acknowledge these "annoying breasts" and if her breasts are starting to show then you also need to talk to her. She can wear a sports bra if she doesn't like the idea of a proper bra, these are more comfortable and help her get used to wearing a bra.

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27 1

One of mine is like this. She wants nothing to do with this discussion, leaves the room when we ever say anything. I've decided to leave it and she will realize in the next few months that it is necessary (I hope!). Her twin sister has been wearing a bra for 3 years! But they are completely different sizes (one is 8" taller and 45 lbs heavier and a 34c bra at 12 yrs old!). But if by sept (3months from now) she still isn't wearing them on her own accord (there are a few crop tops in her drawer) then I will insist, because she will be in grade 8 and I'm pretty sure they will be showing more than now.

0 8

I agree with the idea of a sports bra to start off. My daughter is only 7 and has already outgrown a size. She was super excited to go and get her bras. We bought enough for her to trade and even a couple of different colors. I am glad to hear of other girls who are developing early.

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291 57

That is a hard one, I mean I think they need to be seen a little if you get me, you ge kids bras these days. Kids mature at different times, so you know your child.

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65 0

My mom took me when I was young for a training bra, because she had developed really quickly at a very young age and missed the training bra all together. She got her first bra because a teacher at her school who had 3 daughters took her to the store and bought her one. It was a D cup and she was 9. So, by the time I was 9, I had a training bra, but I wasn't the first one in my class to have one... So, as soon as my daughter came home talking about how someone had a bra, I asked her if she wanted to get one. We went shopping and got her some that were more of a sports bra or crop top type. We also bought her small sized feminine products and together put them somewhere she knew where they were in case she started her period and I wasn't home so she wouldn't have to tell her dad if she didn't want to. Then, we had a mani/pedi to celebrate girl time and impending womanhood! It was a good day!! :D

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0 0

i love this comment, i to have a nine year old who will be 10 in October, she hates the fact of having to wear a bra, we had a little discussion about it, she has some bras that are more "cute" than anything. She will definatley need them before age 10. I love the way you went and got feminine products and talked to her about it. Im going to try that same method

2 0

It depends on when they grow em. But even a 10 year old should be given them even if they don't have any boobies yet. I'd probably just start them off at 8 and the when they start to "show" go buy them underwire ones. Anyway it's a good way to instill "booby pride" in them. Make them proud and comfortable with themselves and what they have. Plus make them comfortable to talk openly about woman stuff

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27 1

why would an 8, 9 or 10 year old need a bra if they don't have anything? THey have the rest of their lives to wear bras, no need to wear something uncomfortable until it's needed. I have twin girls and one started on crop tops at 9, smaller cotton bras at 10 and regular adult bras by 11. Her twin sister, now at 12, turning 13 in 3 months still does not need a bra! MY opinion is that you wear a bra when you need to, not just because you are a certain age. And you don't need a training bra, what are you training anyway?

1 7

My duaghter has very small buds and is 11, but for her wearing a bra is more about the peer pressure. We had gotten that American Girl book" The Care and Keeping of You" and read it together. She had been wearing cami's with a short second layer under it for about a year already. My duaghter wrote me a lovely letter asking to go bra shopping. I told her that I didn't think she quite needed one yet and said let's wait about 6 months. I then received a second letter asking to go and I agreed, even though I didn't think that she needed one yet. Justice has the ones that aren't padded, but are way too expensive. Target's are the right price, but are padded, which I'm not really thrilled about, but we got them from Target and she's pretty happy about them.

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15 10

I think that it depends on how they develope and how you approach it. we were in trainers and lined cami's when my daughter started to develope buds and they were minor believe me at 9. She has worn them since and this year graduated to fullblown bra's. I think that dads need to be taught how to speak with their girls as well on this subject. My hubby noticed the need when she was wearing a cami and it didn't cover enough under the t-shirt she was wearing when she got cold. He approached me and then I talked with her. She also talked with her Dad about why from a gentlemans perspective it was important for her. We went and got her a couple that day but the next day i was out with my hubby and he saw a cute set top and bottoms(boy shorts) and got it for her. She loves that set the best and stated she was glad her dad thought enough about her to make sure she had what she needed. She is in 5th grade and will be 11 in March and just hit the next puberty step thankfully she was prepared to tell me or my husband as I was not home and he was able to say ok not a problem its part of becoming a young lady your mom has stuff in your bathroom for you. She sailed through it just fine. So moms include your dads too they see things a bit different and may see a need before we do.

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0 17

I have 2 daughters... My oldest is 10 1/2 (5th grade) and she has been wearing a bra daily for about 2 years now. She actually came to me when she was in 2nd or 3rd grade and told me that some of her friends at school wear a bra and asked if she could get one. Even though I didn't feel it was necessary (however, she had started developing slightly) at that point, I felt it was a good opportunity to talk about it. She had been "developing" in other areas prior to that and was already needing to wear deoderant. I told her this was just another step to growing up and being that she has seen me without clothing she realizes that she will someday look similar to mom in the aspect that she will develop the same things mom has. I think she was about 6 when she looked at me one day and pointed to my breasts and asked when she was going to get those. I told her when she was older. Little did I realize I was only a couple years away from "needing" to have that conversation. We have since discussed many things about puberty and growing up. I thought it would be awkward but found that it wasn't so bad. I found and her pediatrician recommended getting the American Girl book The Care and Keeping of You. This book is great and helps explain a lot about puberty and development for girls. It is a great guide to help talk about all the topics of a girl growing up. My daughter and I have read parts of the book as we approach certain topics and discuss it. I have found it has help her and she feels comfortable asking questions after reading it. It works for us.
Now I just am waiting to repeat with my 2nd daughter. She is now 9 1/2 and I noticed the other day that we are going to have to have the bra talk in the not so distant future. But not quite yet.

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4 14

My daughter is nearly 11 and as she hates vests has worn crop tops for some time. I have gradually got her ones that are more bra like and now that she is 28A have been getting her trainer bras. There have been no problems just a gradual progression. I can tell from what appears in the washing which ones she is most comfortable with.

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0 0

I may not be a mom but I am experienced in thus catagorie.I got a training bra (no cups or pads) when I was five. I got a cup bra at age 8 and I was a size A. When I was ten I wore a B 30 cup and at eleven I was in a C 32. Now I am 12 and am a DD32. I say it shouldn't matter what age you are just about how much uou need it.

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0 0

i think personally that it is a personal decision for both your daughter and you, I have a 12 year old daughter and shes not nearly as blessed as most girls in her grade, she comes to me every night and wishes that she had bigger boobs. She was so happy when we decided to get her a bra, but she was a bit embarrassed when I yelled "ARE YOU READY TO GET A BRA" across the store. oops. In a few months she really wanted to get padded bras, but both of us knew that she wasn't ready for cups. Shes been wearing padded bras for a little bit but recently shes been getting massive pains. She just wishes it would be over. And that her boobs would be as big as all of her friends. And I tell her that once she gets her period they will get a lot bigger. She thinks that she will never get her period but I promised her that she would get it by the end of seventh grade. Shes worried and so am I, I don't think that shell get it and if she doesn't shell hate me.... oops. If youre unsure when to get your daughter her bra, I recommend the American girl doll book about puberty, if shes a bit older like my girl, I suggest the second book for older girls. good luck! c:

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2 0

depends on the child and how quick they develope. id say as soon as you can see 'bumps' under their top. I can remember a girl at school having one when she was 8! by the time we moved up to secondary school at 11 she was a D cup!!! i couldnt believe it lol xx

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0 0

Well when you see that their nipples are growing bigger and sticking out more. It doesn't really matter actually, I'm not a mom I'm a 12 year old girl and I started wearing bras in the third grade because I started growing boobs at a young age. I would complain to my mom saying that it felt uncomfortable and I felt 'bare' because I had nothing to protect my boobs. It you are flat chested and haven't grown boobs yet or you child is flat chested and hasn't grown boobs yet, it's really a waste of money to spend on bras that you don't need. Sometimes I see people who have started to grow boobs and they do not wear bras. I wondered if maybe that was because they couldn't afford it or their parents won't let them. But please moms, when you kids grows breasts, they need to war bras or else it will look ridiculous. It might be scary to see them grow up but we all do in the end. So really it's when you start to see their breast showing through their shirts more

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2 0

Im 13 so what you do is if you notice her junk under her is noticable then you take her out to get ice cream go to the store just kind of look around get her to try on a shirt that might be a little tight and then you ask her if maybe it was time to get a bra say you think its about time she start wearing one

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0 0

Thank you God for you ladies!! I don't know when I become the mother of a daughter who needed a bra. But, here I am. Outside the store where my oldest daughter, 11 years old, got her first real bra. She's been wearing sports bras for a little while now. But, somehow it just hit me like a ton of bricks.....I have No clue what I'm doing. I immediately started researching and came across this page. Thank you so much for being here!!

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0 0

Well my little girl is 11 and she is wearing crop tops , but she needs a bra so we went out shopping and got her one , I think my girl needed one is because her cleavage started to show and the budding

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0 0

what a great question. :)
i am currently 12 and love to wear sports bras,haha. your daughter might be scared to tell you. i was very scared to tell my mom. but anyways, when u and ur daughter are at the store perferably alone, make her try on a tight shirt that she likes. when she shows you the shirt on make sure you examine the breast area. while examining say turn to the side. this will show you how big they are. dont panic of theyre a little bigger than you imagine. just bring up how tight it is by the breast area and then say it would look better if we got you a bra. then guide her over to the bras and ta da! ur done i hope this helps and good luck! :)
xx claire

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0 0

I have a daughter she is 11 she is a huge tomboy and won't were a bra. I see her nipples but i know she won't were them. I'm even embarrassed talking to her about it so we don't.

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0 0

I have a 7 year old and she starting to develop on top. Shes not over weight but big boned. I think its close to the time to buy her a bra but not sure.shes only 7. I asked her about wanting to wear one and she hesitated for a minute and then said yes. What should i do??

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1 0

Don't get her one if she doesn't need one. When you see her nipple color through her shirt then it's time for a non added no underwire simple,light training bra.

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0 0

I`m 9 and have a 9 year olds bra but im to shy to wear one and none of my friends have one and im just to shy!!!!!!!!!! im to shy to tell even by best friend I`ve known since nursery!!!!!!!!!!!

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