When should a mom leave her job and stay home with her baby?

Jfrida - commented on Aug 14, 2011

Yeah that's very good comment. It's really the parents' responsibility to look after their children. Yet I think it's better if mom stay home and rear your child from birth to about 3 or 4 years old if money isn't the issue. It's better if you get to train your child the discipline that you wanted and you could look after him grow. Delicate as they are, they need the most care that we mothers are capable of giving. After which, when the baby goes to child cares already, you would be pretty bored...

User - commented on Aug 16, 2011

Amen! I totally agree!

Alisa - commented on Aug 18, 2011

I was stay at home for the first year, my other half was the stay at home parent for year two.... and was an awesome stay at home dad! I am proud of him!

Angela - commented on Aug 26, 2011

I agree! I was quite unfulfilled as a stay-at-home mother. I stayed at home simply because I was unable to get a job, not through any altruistic notions of being a "better" mother. When I finally got work, my oldest son said he was never more proud of me. My kids were a whole lot happier once I was working.

Laure - commented on May 2, 2012

Good point on the "parents" thing, not just moms! I totally agree with you that it's a family decision and what works for your family is not necessarily going to work for other families.

Melissa - commented on Jul 21, 2011

Oh yes, it was clearly implied that those of us mothers that work are less than perfect moms. I would would've loved to stay at home with my children...I still would. Unfortunately, we need both incomes to make ends meet. And no...we do not go out to eat...we've been to two movies in the past 8 years, our house is small, our cars are 6 and 10 years old, my husband and I work opposite shifts. But, I nursed each child, one for 19 months and I then stopped only when my second pregnancy stopped my production, and my son until he was two. The three of us, four when my husband is home, sit down to EVERY meal together...we have family time, share time, game nights, "sit together time" where we just spend down time with one another. We share chores appropriate for their ages, go to Church together, pray every night together, and start and end every day with hugs and kisses. Our children go to a Christian child-care center where they learn, play, developed excellent socialization skills, and according to our elementary school...enter school with higher scores than their classmates, and I have seen the proof. I come home and cook meals from scratch...my children eat everything from artichokes to zucchini, and rarely processed or prepared food. The children come before housework, so my house is not as perfect as yours may be, my clothing is probably more wrinkled because there's not enough hours in the day to iron and I haven't weeded my veggies or flowers in a couple weeks. We working moms work harder than you can ever understand to make a home for our families...some out of need and some out of desire. But don't you dare say we are putting anything else ahead of the needs of our children. You have no idea and no place to pass judgement on those of us who want or need to work. Horrible testament to some of your self proclaimed Christian values.

Serena - commented on Jul 21, 2011

I'm glad you said it. It also seems presumptuous to me that every mother believes that their 24 hr care is what's best for their kids...I'm not saying it's not a good thing, but kids are nurtured by all sorts of things other than their primary parents. Do you think that in the past, mothers with kids spent 24 hours a day nurturing them? No...they were too busy working, milking, canning, gardening, cleaning, cooking etc...they had their kids go and play with other kids, outside! Or their kids were helping them with work, babysitting their other kids, or even working to help support the family. It's pretty regressive to think that being a stay at home mom is unconditionally the best thing fort all children, and it's also completely unrealistic. If you're in danger of not being able to support your family, I'm sure a kid with a roof over their head is much better off than with a homeless parent that watches them every day.

Andrea - commented on Jul 21, 2011

Jen - there was a comment by a lady who said something to the effect of "a mother who truly loves her children and is not a single mom would never chose to work and let strangers raise them" (I'm paraphrasing as her post is no longer visible). She went on to say something like real moms "make it work" no matter what so that they can be home, and that children of working mothers are basically dregs of society because the mom was too busy making money so she could "have" and "go" and "do". I found it very offensive to imply that I (and many other working moms) do not love my children because I work and don't spend 24/7 with them. I agree that a forum is great for sharing opinions, but I do believe we can do so in a respectful way. I didn't see any working moms chastising stay-at-home moms with the stereotypical "you're just home eating bon-bons and watching Oprah and spending hubby's money", but several ladies indicated that working moms are either trying to escape their kids or just make money for more stuff, vacations, cars, a huge house, etc. I am willing to respect someone's opinion as long as they can present it in a way that is deserving of respect. I am glad you had the opportunity to choose to stay at home; however, it has never been a simple choice for me. I am a Christian, and yet I have found some Christian ladies are very judgmental on this point (not implying you; this is an observation of mine based on personal experiences). It seems some assume every woman has a choice, and if they do work, well that working momma must not be a very Godly woman or love her kids as much as she loves her career. So frustrating! Anyway, thanks for commenting....yes, there are many acceptable paths....I hope all mommas on this string feel a certain level of peace with their decisions. Also, thanks to the other working mommas who commented....being a working momma is not easy. And, Serena, good points - my Dad can attest to the fact that he was never just home playing with his Mom and siblings. Just as you noted above :-)

Jen - commented on Jul 24, 2011

I never got to see that comment. I guess it got pushed out, or maybe even deleted. That is horrible that someone would say, or even *think* that about working Women. I have many friends who work full time, go to school part or full time and still are wonderful Mothers. I agree that every Mom should have the choice (and in some cases they do not because of financial needs). Being a SAHM is no walk in the park, and I'm sure that working full time and then coming home to the kids has it's own set of challenges. Heck... just BEING a Mom (whether you work outside the home or not) is a tough job in itself. :) It's a shame that this question opened up such a debate.

Krystal - commented on Aug 5, 2011

You couldn't be more right. I actually get more quality time with my daughter as a working mother than some people I know who stay at home with their children. Why? Because I know my time is limited and I MAKE special time for us. I chose to go back to work and I think I'm a better person for it. She is with a nanny who loves her like a grandparent during the day, and gets special one on one time with mommy and daddy in the evenings and on weekends.

DANIELLE - commented on Aug 5, 2011

I totally agree with Andrea, some women can stay at home and then their are those whom have to work and provide along with their spouse. This does not make you a bad parent because you are trying to make a better life and future for your child. Then their are single mothers whom do not have a choose but to work, and I applaud each and everyone of them. I grew up in a single parent home and my mother worked very hard but she also expressed love toward me and my other three sisters. She gave us more love than we could have asked for and it made us better women and stronger. I thank her for working and I think that working moms are just as good as a stay at home moms.

Christina - commented on Aug 28, 2011

I agree with you. I browsed a few of the comments and it seems that some seem a bit judgmental. I am a working mom also. I'm married with two children ages 2 1/2 and 10 months. I would agree that what works for one family may not work for another. In my house, I'm the bread winner also. My husband has a bachelor's degree, but was laid off earlier this year. I was working on my Ed.D. when I got pregnant with our first child. I haven't finished my doctorate, but I have a Master's Degree and make a nice salary each year. I think there's nothing wrong with a mom working to help take care of her family. I think being a Mom period is Hard Work. Whether you work full-time outside the home or not, mommies are still mommies---cooking dinner, making MD appts, choosing clothes, combing/washing hair, brushing teeth---we do a lot--even if you're lucky (like me) and have a great husband by your side helping you out along the way. I think inadvertently women become competitive at everything they (we) do---and even though this website is designed for us to help each other--often times people leave comments not realizing the judgments they make and how they affect other readers. If I could, I would want to be home with my children full-time (the grass is always greener on the other side...lol), but switching roles right now is the best thing that works for my family right now---and I'll it as long as necessary because in the end, as long as my kids are loved by me and my husband and are well taken care of and well adjusted---nothing else matters. So Kudos to ALL moms doing whatever they need to do to raise productive citizens with compassionate hearts :)

Kira - commented on Apr 12, 2012

I would like to add a comment and say that I have been a working mom since my daughter was six weeks old and we are expecting another one in about six months. I am planning to go back to work soon after that child is born. I did have feelings of wanting to be home with my daughter when she was an infant, however, our financial situation never allowed us the luxury. I still breastfed her for seven months of her life by pumping while at work and nursing early morning, evening/night. I will likely do the same with this new one on the way. Bottom line is I actually felt a bit guilty at first, but ironically I landed my first real career oriented job when my daughter was an infant and don't regret having the experience that has allowed me to further my career and in turn become a better financial provider for our family. I make more money than my husband and we need my income in order to pay our bills (not simply to have have luxury items but in order to just get by). I get upset when people cast judgement that I should be home with our small children or that I am somehow spread too thin because I have small children and I choose to work. In my case, I have a strong network of daycare, family and friends where we help one another when childcare is needed. I also cherish the time I am able to spend with my family on weekends and evenings/vacations - it actually makes me a better mother in some regard because we spend quality time that is memorable and I make that effort more than I likely would if I were home full time. Frankly, I find that being with kids non-stop can burn me out faster than being at work. Not everyone is cut out out to be or should be condemned to be a stay at home parent and I do believe my kids benefit greatly from having a mother who works, provides financially and sets an example of having work-life balance success. Our family is fine with me being a working mom, not just because we have to be but because I enjoy it and feel whole by having my time outside of the home. I don't feel guilty about that!

Ginaspires - commented on Jan 11, 2013

well, there is one thing no one mentions-- the Bible. What does it have to say about all this? Do we even know?

Shawnn - commented on Apr 12, 2012

Um...may I say...PIRATED...That's almost exactly my view, only stated much more eloquently than I ever could.

Felisha - commented on Apr 12, 2012

I will just say you're rude, to even suggest I would say something exactly like you since I wrote this almost a year ago and I don't even see your response in here now or before. It's a suggestive blog, not a thesis, my writing comes from the heart, not from the viewing of others, so do keep an eye out for my novel when its published, I'm pretty sure I didn't pirate that either.

Fiona - commented on Jan 8, 2012

My husband doesn't earn enough to pay our bills and buy food. I work in IT which is well paid, so I partly work out of necessity, but we have treats as well. Women fought for so long to be educated and 'free' so if you have spent years before you had kids working hard and cementing a career then surely this benefits everyone in the family.

Heather - commented on Apr 13, 2012

Exactly what I am doing now! We don't have new cars and expensive vacations, but we make ends meet. I have a college degree, but choose to stay home with my daughter (have son on the way too). I work one day a week where she stays with my mom, which helps income and gives me a "break". I love being the one to see all of her firsts and being her "teacher" too (I have an elementary and early childhood degree), and my husband and I are committed to this arrangement, and we are making it work financially. My mom was a stay at home mom to 4, and we all agree that we were never went without and were so lucky to have our mom home with us!

Melissa - commented on Jul 22, 2011

Then you should consider yourself very fortunate. My salary provides the pool passes, the children's clothing, shoes, school supplies, birthday parties, presents, friends birthday's presents, Christmas presents and any extra nicities, not including some of the household bills. If I did not work, sure....I could take them to the fee park while they watch over the fence at their friends playing in the pool. We could walk around the mall and look at the things they can't have. Bowling and other cost activities would be likened to a summer vacation day trip lucky to do maybe once or twice. And their as for playing with their friends....yeah, no, because they are all in daycare, y care or summer activity camps that we would not have the extra money for. So I am really glad you find my answer humorous. I find yours condescending and quite ignorant for a supposedly college educated woman. I am also quite done with you now.

Andrea - commented on Jul 22, 2011

I have heard countless times that working moms do not understand how hard it is to be a SAHM. Based on your response, I'm sorry, but I fail to see what is so challenging. You indicated you spend the day having playdates, going to the pool or bowling, etc. Housework is something that may or may not be done. Do you also take naps when they nap? I know some SAHMs that do and have their husband help with household chores on the weekends b/c the SAHMs just didn't have time to get it done during the week. I've known SAHMs who couldn't wait for hubby to get home so they could pass-off the kids while I want as much time with them as I can before bed. I've known SAHMs who wouldn't serve in preschool Sunday mornings b/c it was "their" time. Did I serve? Yes, b/c my kids were in Sunday School and I felt I should give my time. I coupon, clean my own house, pay the bills, organize birthday parties and other get-togethers, write thank you notes, play co-ed softball, etc. And, yes, I do lots of things with my kids - we go to the pool, local library, amusement park, local festivals, the park, and to visit family/friends, etc. My husband and I split a lot of the chores and take turns with bath/bedtime story. I don't find it funny that a working mom who would like to stay at home would actually plan to do some yard/house work, shopping, etc. while at home with her children. Why wouldn't a SAHM do these things? Kids don't need to be catered to/entertained 24/7. I'm not sure who is being served by putting children in the #1 spot (above God and spouse). I'm not trying to be disrespectful, just voicing my opinions. Each job has it's own set of challenges, but in my opinion, a working momma's job is more challenging. Doesn't make us better mommas, maybe just more tired.

Melissa - commented on Jul 22, 2011

Amen Andrea....this said as this tired mom just got back from helping out for the last day of the week at vacation bible school at a church we don't even belong to. And this working mom doesn't even get to share the duties at night because my husband works second shift. It kind of works for us though because he gets individualized time with them in the morning and I get mine at night, But I have heard the same things said in front of the children by some SAHM who are wonderful mothers but don't realize that a simple statement like, "It's your turn now, I've dealt with them all day", makes the child feel like a burden and a duty, And they cry for ME time...when does the working mom get it? Most of my friends don't...and we don't even ask for it. If it comes my way, I may very well jump on it, but my duty is a wife and a mother first, Funny though, because of our schedules, most of my friends are working single moms, and I always feel guilty because I may bemoan my Monday through Friday hardships, but these friends of mine have completely uninvolved and uninterested fathers 7 days a week. And these mothers ROCK their roles and I know personally 7 fabulous children who flourish with a full time working mom, no fathers and are in outside childcare. Any mom that does the best by and for her children should be commended. Some moms' jobs are harder and some easier. Like you, I find it funny that some SAHM complain how hard it is to be a SAHM. I wonder, do they think just because we are working moms that somehow the shopping, the cleaning, the laundry, the homework, the breakfast making, lunch packing, dinner coordinating, doctor and dentist scheduling, the music lesson and dance rehearsal and sports practice transfers, Cub Scout Mom, recital mom and not to mention the things we have to do for ourselves and our spouses are all done by some magic fairy that comes in and does all this during our 40 hour work week?

Jaclyn - commented on Jul 22, 2011

Haha! I agree with you, Jen, about chores falling by the wayside. Sometimes I purposely spend the entire day out of the house with the kids at the park, the mall play area, their cousin's house, etc. just so we don't make our own house a mess! Those who stay at home most likely do their chores during the same hours as those who work: after the kids are in bed or not at all! :D

Jen - commented on Jul 24, 2011

Thank you, Jaclyn. It's very obvious... both on here and often in every day life that some Moms who work Full time and then come home to their kids cannot comprehend or appreciate what full time SAHM's do. I have run into countless Moms who think that what we do must be "a piece of cake". Oddly (whether they are financially able to or not) many of those Moms either couldn't or wouldn't do what we do on a daily basis. To Andrea... There are many demands of being a full time SAHM. Just as there are challenges for Moms who work Full time and then come home and have time with their Children. Different challenges and experiences, but challenges, non the less. Being a SAHM certainly isn't all roses and playdates. I talked about doing all of those things with my children because Melissa had brought up the fact that her kids get to do all those things at Daycare. Melissa... Although you claim to be "done with me", I just wanted to comment... yes, I do feel very fortunate to have had the years I had with my children as a Full Time SAHM. As I said before (but you seemed to ignore that part), I do not have a problem with Moms that either choose to or need to work full time. I'm not sure how you read into my posts to think that I was implying it was wrong. I also AGREED with you that people who say Moms that work Full time outside the Home are bad Moms is wrong! So, again, I'm not sure why you attacked me about it. Regardless, I wish you the best of luck and I know many hard working Moms out there who are working Full time, going to School, etc and also are great Mothers to their kids. I was not at all trying to be condescending... but simply giving my viewpoint on things. People often get defensive over their choices when they feel like they are being attacked.

Melissa - commented on Jul 24, 2011

ROFLMAO....appreciate it? HA! We do it too, in addition to another job. It must be really hard when they are in school too, right? Wow, unbelievable! And you don't view that as condescending? No, of course you wouldn't

Jen - commented on Jul 24, 2011

Wow. Perhaps I misunderstood... I thought you worked full time. If I'm correct, then you can't possibly be a full time Stay at home Mom. You are a Mom, yes. However you do not have the role of a Full Time SAHM, since you have a full time job during the day. This is the whole point of why you have been continuing to argue with me. I'm not sure if it's jealousy or whether it's the guilt you feel (your own words) about not being able to stay home with your kids, since you would like to (again... your own words). I actually work part time while the kids are in school, so it's not like I sit at home all day twiddling my thumbs or getting manicures. But I set my schedule so that I am home before they get off the bus. No... I don't view anything that I have said as condescending. If you do, I apologize because non of it was meant to be. I've gotten defensive perhaps, because you have continued to attack me when all I did was AGREE with you about the fact that being a Mother has more to do with whether or not you work Full time outside the home. I can appreciate how hard it must be to work full time and then come home and care for kids. In fact I have a deep respect for all the Women I know who do what you do. Would I want to do it, probably not... but if I had to (as in your case) I would. You do what works for you, as a Family. I wish I had not responded to your post to begin with, since it's obvious that you are very defensive of your decision to work. I meant no harm, just wanted to give my point of view. Although I sometimes enjoy a good debate, this has become a lot more than that, so I will let it end here. I wish you the best and I'm sure that you (as are many of the other Moms on here) are a wonderful Mother to your Children.

Serena - commented on Jul 30, 2011

I think the working mother is extremely defensive, and I'm not quite sure why she feels so attacked. Again, I'm a SAHM who can't wait to get back to work, as my earlier post indicated. I think being a SAHM is the hardest job I've ever had, and although I feel extremely fortunate to have been able to spend the first 2 years with my beautiful daughter, I'm ready to go back to work..and I know my daughter will enjoy daycare, then school. I also found when I had a temporary job a few months ago, that I was much more relaxed when I came home to spend time with her, and I was able to be more present for her than when I had spent all day long with her. That is me. That is not all the other mothers out there. I am confused by why the working mother feels so attacked. I don't think anyone has indicated that she is not a good mother for working...if anything, she is extremely responsible to be holding down a job, taking care of a husband who works nights, and even supporting other family members while being a caring mother to her children. So why the anger? Every individual's experience is proportionate to their family's needs, as well as their own...some people are happier at home, while other mothers fare better working outside the home. Just because somebody stays at home all day with their kids, does not mean they are a great parent! I can attest to that, as again, I think I'll be a better parent once I go back to work....the day in, day out routine as a SAHM is not for me anymore. The other factors that go into each mother's decision are paramount...for example, the parents with special needs children who feel more comfortable being able to stay at home, or even the moms who have figured out that child care costs don't warrant working when their salaries are going to be consumed by paying for daycare. Financial responsibilities factor into this decision as much as personal preferences and attitudes toward child rearing....and for one group to self righteously rise up against another is counter-productive. Supporting your family is absolutely justifiable, and eschewing a job in order to stay at home to raise your children by yourself is beneficial in other ways. The bottom line to me is that mothers, regardless of their choices, all want what is best for their families, and do whatever they can to live up to the expectations they set for themselves individually, and not based on what other people think they should, or should not do. There is no cookie cutter mold for a mother, nor a formula for what is the BEST decision for families. The ways of doing things and choices are, and should be, as diverse as the people that make up our communities, and if we all bond together and respect each other's decisions, we will be the better for it.

Serena - commented on Jul 30, 2011

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Serena - commented on Jul 30, 2011

The choices to stay at home or work are as diverse as the mothers who are faced with the decision. The basic thing is that all mothers want what is best for their families, but we have to keep in mind that everybody has different priorities. Personally, being a SAHM has been a great way to bond with my daughter, but after 2 years, as I stated before, I'm ready to go back to work. I would never cast aspersions on someone who chose to work anymore than I would disparage those mothers who stay home as long as possible to provide 24/7 care for their kids. I found that when I had a temporary job a few months ago, I was more present for my daughter during the hours I spent with her at home, and I actually had more energy than I do being here all the time. Just because a mom is always with their kids, does not necessarily indicate that they are a better parent than a mother who has other responsibilities. I also don't think that what I would choose is either better or worse than someone who chooses to go another route. What I don't understand is why everyone can't respect and honor differences, rather than self righteously insisting to have the formula for the "best" way to parent, especially when so many other factors are present. If a mother has a special needs kids, who can blame her for not trusting others to care for it, and making sacrifices to be able to be present? If another mother has a lot of expenses that can't be met without working a job or even two, she should be congratulated just as much as a mom who spends every waking hour with her babies. If I don't like going to the playground every day, what's wrong with me having a sitter pick my child up to go out? If you go to the playground every day, are you a better mommy? I don't think so. We all love our children, more than anything else, and we all want them to have healthy, fulfilling lives, and whatever we can to endure their happiness, education, and safety is as varied as all the children and mothers in the world. Mutual respect is key....instead of pitting one against the other. I honestly think that the responses to this question haven't been very informative, because it seems like most people are convinced that their way is the best way, and that is not how we can all come to a rational conclusion. Inviting people to share their experiences without fearing that they are being judged or condemned would be a more sensible way to navigate such a sensitive topic, and I for one, want to extend my congratulations to all parents out there for assuming the most difficult and rewarding job of all, which is being a parent in the first place.

Jen - commented on Aug 5, 2011

excellent comments Serena! I think everyone should make the decision that is best for them and their Family. :)

Andrea - commented on Aug 14, 2011

Have any of you seen the latest Circle of Moms infographic? My blood was boiling over some of the comments - mostly from SAHMs. Some want to change the term from "working mom" to "work for pay mom". SAHM is, to them, a title that implies no work is being done. Not too long ago, the term was "house wife" or "homemaker" but that was not acceptable b/c it implied no education. Maybe I don't like being called an"working mom". Why can't I just be a wife and mom who happens to work outside the home? In addition, there were the typical comments about daycare children being the deviants of society. One woman even said "a lot" of daycare children spend their lives in jail. Really???? And comments about working mom's "outsourcing" of their children for others to raise, choosing an overindulgent lifestyle, etc. One SAHM commented that as part of her SAHM job, she's on call 24/7 and a working person would normally be paid to be on call all the time. So, working moms sleep at the office and never get up with their kids at night???I don't normally pay attention to COM, and I think it best to unsubscribe as I've never read so many judgemental, lacking in any intellectual merit comments. So, I'd just like to know why being a SAHM is the hardest job there is. My only experience was maternity leave with my 2 kids, but I found it easy compared to my "work for pay job". The house was clean, dinner made, shopping done, and I did devote time to my kids, too. But I didn't spend every waking minute entertaining or holding/rocking them. They need time to self-soothe and entertain themselves. I'm not saying SAHMs spend their days twiddling their thumbs or eating bon-bons; I just want to know why you consider it to be so hard (I'm being sincere - I just want to know your thoughts). And, please stop assuming a working mom just can't do the job of a SAHM. I find that to be an unfair assumption. Every family is different and everyone should make the decision that works best for them and know they will not be attacked based on another's bias towards the "right" decision.

Jen - commented on Aug 14, 2011

I didn't read any of the comments that you referred to, but I agree that it's terrible for for people to be so judgmental.... of "working Moms" OR of SAHMs. I am a SAHM, but I have nothing against Moms who choose to work outside the home. Being a Mom is a 24/7 job for ANY Mom, regardless of whether you work outside the home. There are challenges and demands for "working Moms" and for "SAHMS". Those challenges and demands are simply different. I think maybe sometimes full time SAHMs get defensive of their decision because sometimes they can be looked down upon, because they don't have a "job" (for income). I personally, don't take offense to it, because I own my decision of staying home with my kids and it was a decision that my Husband and I decided together before we even had children. It's always a very personal decision and one that often cannot be made easily. Whether both parents want to work or need to work, due to financial reasons, that should not be indicative of whether they are good parents. There's a lot more to being a good Mom (or parent) than whether or not you choose to work outside the home. As far as the "difficulty" of being a full time SAHM vs. being a working Mom, a lot of that is in perception. It's all relative to how you look at things, what type of job (outside the home) you have, how many kids you have, the kids' ages, if your kids have health issues, etc. I don't think that either choice is necessarily any "easier" than the other. It's simply a matter of choice. I think that it is terrible that this COM question started such a heated debate. Sometimes I think that people get defensive of their decision and/or think that their decision is the "right" one. I know that being a SAHM was the right decision for me and my children, but that doesn't mean that being a SAHM is the right decision for everyone.

Amanda - commented on Sep 10, 2011

thankyou i also love having the best of both worlds me and my partner always have one of each other to care for our daughter and because of that we both have the oppotunity to study work and be there for our daughter who s two we are only 21 we had our daughter when we were 19 we are slowly building our dreams in being successful in our careers and being thier for our daughter im not here to jugde stay at mums at all but what me and my partner do works for our child and we make sure that at least one of us are with of our child for dinner ... most times were both thier and we dont stick our daughter into care for 5 days a week shes there one day for 4 hours and its for her social interaction .....thats my rant :)

Amy - commented on May 8, 2012

I think you are not being very open minded. People must pay bills and have insurance for their family. Sometimes both parents have to work. Also, some parents work to save up for emergencies, college funds etc. Each family should do what they find best for their family. Just because I don't get home until 4:30 doesn't mean I don't spend quality time with my son or teach and nurture him. Neither does the fact seven weeks of the year I have to be gone during the week for my job. Fortunately, that occurs during the summer where he benefits from spending time with OTHER family members (as well as his father). Day care benefited my son greatly when he was a toddler. Also, I have worked at two different daycare centers and found that yes kids can benefit from time outside the home and that as long as the caregivers care it doesn't hurt the child in any way. Just remember there are many ways to parent and care for children. Whatever works for one family may not work for another. I am glad you get to stay home and enjoy all that time with your kids! :) Best of Luck to all

Amanda - commented on Jun 13, 2012

Dr. Laura is an idiot. And, Marta, your comments are very ignorant. I don't even know where to start with some of the nonsense you were spewing. Even if a mother works and a child is in daycare, the working mother STILL RAISES THEIR OWN CHILD! The fact that you even think otherwise is ridiculous! Personally, I've been a SAHM and working mom. I liked being a SAHM more. It was so much easier than being a working mom. As a working mom, I still did ALL of the things with my children that I did as a SAHM and still did all of the same household chores/duties. Except, I had to throw in a job. You know what was missed out on? Sleep for me. Absolutely nothing was missed out with my children. So please, drop your nonsense about the "issues" that daycare causes. It is utter bs and you have absolutely nothing factual to back up your ridiculous theory.

Janice - commented on Apr 11, 2012

I live in upstate NY and infant care is between 210-250$ a week. The price gets lower with age. That is for daycare a nanny would cost much more. With a 4 month old and a 2 year old there is no way for me to go back to work full-time right now.

Christine - commented on Apr 12, 2012

It is surprising to see all the stereotypes about working mothers and that I choose luxury over spending time with my kids. Personally I work full time because I have a great job, enjoy going to work, and want to provide the best for my kids in terms of education. My kids are doing great, they are independent and have a great daycare. Both situations have positives and negatives, I am just surprised how judgmental people can be. I don't think being a parent means you have to give up all your interests and goals in life. You need to find balance to ensure you are happy as well. I will never feel guilty about working!