When should a single mom tell her child why their dad's not there?

Single mothers face a range of unique questions, one of the most sensitive being; when do you tell your child why their dad isn't there?

40  Answers

42 25

There is an age appropriate way to tell a child anything. You have to know what works best for you child. Whatever you do, don't lie. Sometimes we think we should have the answer to all our children's questions but it is just as powerful letting them know what you don't know. My kids used to ask me why their dad didn't take them out or pick them up and instead of lying or venting I said, "I don't know honey. Maybe you should ask him next time he calls." Eventually they learned who their dad was without me having to say a anything about him. His actions spoke more loudly than I ever could.

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What a great answer! My dad wasn't in my life, and my Mom made sure it stayed that way. She never had a good thing to say about him, and in "brainwashing" technique, would daily remind us what a horrible character he was. That was so bad for our self-esteem. We thought we did something wrong. We are back in touch with him now, but it is weird. No bad feelings, just not much of a connection. He's changed since we were little, and it's good. But, growing up being pitted against your parents is no way to grow up healthy. Thanks for your wisdom to others!

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6 14

I always avoided saying anything negative about my ex to my daughter. That's not to say that I didn't think it, but she didn't pick her parents, she didn't ask to be in this situation, & it's not fair to influence her thoughts about him. She's an intelligent girl & she'll decide for herself. She doesn't need to be spoon fed negativity (even if it is true). There are classes aimed at divocing parents & some divorce courts require parents to take it. I took it but my ex didn't. The one I took was called "For the kids sake", & the majority of the class was about how parents should never place children in the middle, & should never speak badly of the other parent to the child or in the child's pressence. However, when you're in a situation where Dad isn't around it's not so simple. Eventually the child will ask why. I always waited for my daughter to ask the questions & tried to answer in a neutral way & without any anger (hard to do!). For my situation, I simply told her that just because he stopped loving me didn't mean he stopped loving her - that he still loves her in his own way. I told her that my ex & I were divorced, but he didn't divorce her & is still very much her Dad. It's a complicated situation for us, but I always told her to save her questions up & maybe one day she'd get the chance to ask them herself. She has a stepdad that has been in her life since she was 5, & in her eyes he's Daddy because he's the one who has been there every day - through nightmares, ER visits, school problems, etc. She's old enough now that she realizes it takes more to be a Dad than genetics - it takes genuine demonstrations of love & devotion. When she speaks of her biological Father she refers to him by his first name (I still call him her "dad"). It's a very difficult & sad situation to be in, but if your child's Father has chosen not to be a part of your child's life you have to know in your heart that in the long run it's best for your child. Eventually a man will come along who will love the both of you the way you both deserve to be loved.

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If you want to encourage open communication with your child, you need to be honest, but do it age appropriately and be as diplomatic as possible. If your ex is a total toadsnot, just be honest and tell your child sometimes people find they value different things in life and sometimes those differences are something you can't bridge. Let them figure out themselves what important values they think are different between the two of you. They will eventually. Model the values you want to pass on to your child, don't preach and tell them all about it. "He is a lying sob" isn't going to be nearly as healthy or as effective as simply modeling being honest and committed in your own relationships and telling them that Daddy has found that he doesn't like being married to you and letting them ask HIM why if that is the problem, or that he wanted to live somewhere else and again let Him offer the explanations for his behavior. Or that daddy has a hard time following rules if he is in jail or whatever. Never give them more information than they ask for and the details of what happened and why are not important unless they ask. Always remember that kids have the right to love and be loved by both parents and to make their own judgements based on what they see and experience with their parents. Give them the truth but let them figure out for themselves what they think and how they feel about the other parent, never put them in the middle. And again 'age appropriate' is important. Daddy is going to live somewhere else now might be appropriate for a todler and all the information they need unless they ask for more. And if they do keep those answers simple too. Why? Because we don't think it is good to be fighting all the time, etc. True but simple and no more information than they ask for. When they are capable of asking more complex questions then they are probably capable of accepting more complex answers....

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4 12

I too am in this situation and We(parent/child) see a therapist that deals with children, for this very reason. The time to start talking about it, is when your child asks. I would caution to be very careful and question what they REALLY WANT to know. At a young age, 5 yrs or so, I told her that her Dad lives in another state and is not able to see her but loves her very much. She is now 10 and I have told her that he loves her but is not able to make good/safe choice for himself or for her, so Mommy has had to make the decision to keep us distant. Of course my situation is a choice on my part, as the father, is not of good sound mind and is a user of drugs and alcohol and the truth is that he DOESN'T make good choices. I will become clearer as she gets older but one thing I was told never to do, is talk poorly of her father, as attacking him is like attacking her DNA, as he is a part of who she is, good or bad. Keep talking with the child and processing as much as he/she needs to, so that they do not carry the burdon of thinking it was their fault. Also finding a safeand constant male figure, is a great idea, but I emphasize, safe and constant. This would be best as a relative and not a boyfriend. Some one commited to her life.

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I really like your input. My daughter is 10 months old and the I had to make the choice of her father not being able to be in her life because his life style and mentality is the same as yours. But everyday I ask myself if I have made the right decission by following my gut and keeping him out of the picture. Everyday I am assured that I have by him not even trying to be in her life. But it still hurts and it's still super hard everyday to look at my daughter and know that she wont have a father. And that kills me becasue my father died when I was 12 and I know how hard it is sometimes. But thank you again! I have a better idea of how to go about the questions in the years to come when she starts to realize that some kids have their dads in the picture!

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30 52

I have a 10 year old who's bio dad is not around. When she asked why he wasn't there I explained that he was making decisions that aren't good for her to be around. That he is a good person, but that right now, it's not a good idea for her to be exposed to the decisions he is making. About a year after this she came to me and asked if he was involved with drugs. He is and I told her yes, while stressing that he is an addict and so he has a disease that makes it hard to stop making these bad decisions. Now, I go to NA meetings and she knows this about me so for me to tell her that wasn't a big shock or anything. I am of the opinion that if a child asks a question, they are prepared for an age appropriate answer. She asks about him sometimes and I always give her the most accurate and age appropriate answer that I can. I don't think that lying would make things better.

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im pretty much in the same boat. my sons father has been in and out of his life and really bad on drughs. hes keeps asking me y his daddy doesnt love him anymore. i told him that he does but he needs to help himself before he can be there for him. my son is only 4 but he will understand more when he is older.

5 4

This may not come up at all a lot depends on when you split up or if the child was born after the relationship ended. I would not plan an age but be prepared to answer any questions with honesty and gentleness. Explaining that it is not their fault. Don't go into too much detail and if the relationship is still difficult or impossible because of violence then tread carefully. Children will grow up happy and secure with one loving parent. and be kind to yourself too people make mistakes and being in a relationship that ends badly is a common experience. BE Honest, BE gentle. BE Kind to yourself.

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My two children, now 11 and 7, unfortunately know why their daddy isn’t at home anymore. The day my daughter turned 7, he suffered a heart attack, which resulted in a severe brain injury. He has been hospitalized since. I was very honest with them from the beginning, though back then, even I had hope for recovery, and an eventual return home. Four plus years later, this will never be the case. If I was to count them up, I have spent many hours, and spoken through many tears, just to explain to them that their daddy never would have chosen to leave them, and would do anything in the world to be part of their lives again, however, the universe had another plan for all of us.

They now understand that he will never come home, and I think they even accept that he no longer really knows us on our visits, but when they do go, he is still daddy, regardless. For whatever it is worth, whether he recognizes us or not, the children still bring smiles (and tears) to his face.

The hardest days are those when something as simple as a school project about family or even a television commercial which involves a father and child bring about the heart wrenching pain I see in their faces. Even now I tear up thinking about what they lost. It isn’t about me, I had him for 12 years. It isn’t about his family, they had him for 39 years. It would be selfish of all of us to focus on our loss, but the children, they had such a short time with him, and that breaks my heart. My girl will live each birthday from now on remembering her 7th b-day nightmare, and my boy, well 3 ½ years were not quite enough to have tangible memories. He makes many memories up… I let him. They are his to hold close to his heart, and if they make him happy, so be it!

Most importantly, while times are tough, and the 3 of know why, we will make it through it all. The kids will forever know that their daddy loved them more than anything in his entire world, and I will always be there to remind them of that!

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I'm sorry you have to go through this. That was touching, and I hope more people get to read it. :)

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9 12

My daughter is 4 1/2. Her biological father is a rare part of her life. Whenever she wants to know why he hasn't come to get her I ask her if she wants to call him and see.
I feel that it is important to pay attention to how mentally developed your child is. I haven't discussed with her the full reason that he is gone. But I do try to not belittle him around her. My family is also working on this problem, they feel as though he doesn't deserve to see her. While I am blessed to have a strong support system I am thankful that I don't have to deal with telling her the whole reason yet. Its not something I think she can handle yet. I do think that @ 4 she is old enough to start asking him why he's not around, But as I have read before it is important that I don't power-play with her. I make sure that she has an oppertunity to talk to him when she wants. But I also don't force her into it.

Hope that helps.

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My daughter is also 4 and I am pretty much in the same boat you are. However my little girl has come to ask me if Daddy is am addict. Shes 4 where did she learn that? I have always told him he is welcome too come see her as often as he likes and he refuses saying I'm keeping our daughter from him. He lives 1.7 miles from us, he drives passed our place 2x daily. He recently moved in with his new gf who was released from jail in jan after being there 1 yr for a meth charge. She has 2 girls she doesn't have custody of. None of this bothers me because I know what she is getting into. He's abusive and most definitely a sociopath. So for me this is all great. Having her in the picture means he'll really leave me alone. I'm struggling with my baby girl asking why sad doesn't love us. I always make sure to tell her that her daddy and I love her very much however daddy doesn't make good choices and his bad choices led him to another path in his life he met somebody else and that's where you'd rather be but that doesn't mean that he's on her daddy she told me at her nanas her daddy's mom told her if she would have a new mommy and that her new mommy has two little girls that are just wonderful when she told me that I cut off all contact with the entire family and hadn't seen them since he seen her for all of an hour since Christmas Eve his choice

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Give him or her an age appropriate answer if you don't know what to say, You need to find a children's therapist to help explain to the child early on all the questions they have in an appropriate way. There are things as a single mom I would never tell my son that my ex husband has done to us both. I do not want him to feel like he cannot talk to me about things. So i set a good example by ex: praying for my ex husband and his family, encouraging him to speak about them freely, telling him he is so lucky to have so many people that love him. A good mom will try to hold her tongue around her children. The Dad may be no good, not paying child support, absent and always has been from that child's life, BUT THAT IS STILL PART OF THE CHILD. I know I have struggled with it. My son calls his bio dad by his first name or add's daddy then his name. Its whatever to me. It's all about my son, and what's best for him

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When they ask....there is always a way to communicate with your children. If they ask then it is the right time to provide an answer. I believe that you should focus on the good things as their father was once your lover. Our children will be affected by the story you tell, so tell the good one and leave the rest of the story for them to write if//when the time comes.

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i just want to share my experience and testimony here.. i was married for 4 years to my husband and all of a sudden, another woman came into the picture.. he started hailing me and he was abusive..but i still loved him with all my heart and wanted him at all cost…then he filed for divorce..my whole life was turning apart and i didn't know what to do..he moved out of the house and abandoned the kids.. so someone told me about trying spiritual means to get my husband back and introduced me to a spell caster…so i decided to try it reluctantly..although i didn't believe in all those things… then when he did the special prayers and spell, after 2days, my husband came back and was pleading..he had realized his mistakes..i just couldn't believe it.. anyways we are back together now and we are happy..in case anyone needs this man, his email address olotospellhome@yahoo.com his spells is for a better life. again his email is olotospellhome@yahoo.com

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I am a big believer in owning ones mistake...if you are a horrible judge of character and made a child/children with an unfit parent you should appologize for not being wiser and planning better. It's a raw deal to have a parent missing from your life...they are both profoundly important to psychological and social development. I would also encourage you to nurture any relationship between your child and a safe friend or family member that is willing to provide a gender substitute for the missing parent. Grandparents , aunts and uncles are 1st choices as they have a life investment in you child but please NOT A BOYFRIEND OR GIRLFRIEND!
So short answer... when your child starts asking it's time to start owning so they NEVER FOR ONE SECOND feel that it was ever their fault that one of the most important human beings in their young lives is not around.

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The problem with owning ones mistake is by telling your kid you made a child with an unfit parent, you are really dinging their self esteem. Even if you aren't saying anything bad about their dad, the fact that you are apologizing to them for your selection in a parent is akin to telling them they are a mistake or the product of one. As someone who grew up the product of such a relationship who's mom "owned it" and told me that my bio-dad was unfit, I really felt bad growing up and that was with some good male substitutes. I do like the rest of your advice, but sometimes it just isn't good to fully own it. It is more important that your child think they come from something wonderful instead of a bad decision... There really isn't anything you can say to make up for "you were the product of a mistake I made/bad decision" no matter how gracefully you word it.

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For all you Moms out there that keep your children from their Fathers perhaps you should join a father's rights group and see the other side. I have been in a 5 year custody battle to see my daughter in Germany where dogs have more rights than Fathers. I have moved to Germany to be with my kid - given up my career in NYC been thru 7 lawyers 3 judges 5 court appearances and only have 3 hours Tuesday and Saturday.

No over nights no vacations zero — now My daughter has been brainwashed that she can’t stay with me.
The world court ruled against Germany for human rights violation towards fathers in 2010--
Just this month Germany finally agreed they have to bring their laws into the right way.

What no one ever talks about about is this is run by the lawyers for money — the judges are in bed with the system..

Mothers are pawns in their money making scheme.. They use you to make their fortune — Is is sad because if Fathers got %50 at the start
They would be out of work very fast.

In Germany they are setting up the new law where every Father has to take every mother to court — The courts will be plugged up for years.

But please understand the Lawyers are buddies with the politicians and they are making sure they get their last EU’s before the system change and they will have to reinvent their business model.

With my ex I always says “ Just flip the rights . The visitaion.” Being German and believing in paper she would agree to this only if a judge would rule this way,

But her lawyer and the judge are buddies so never going to happen.

In closing I am a good father pay every month see her on the assigned days , bought a house with a big garden – I believed in the system and humanity.

The system has drained me financially and emotionally and has done my daughter no good.

My daughter and I are very close. We are defeated at every turn .

So try stepping into some Father’s shoes for a while. I hope posting this helps some child that misses her father.

Fred

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I read Fred's response and understand that the court system is geared towards mother's and their children. Looking for answers to some of my questions, it disheartens me to discover out of all the responses on this topic, it's about women helping women and no comments, support or words of encouragement for the men struggling to understand why they can't be with their kids. We're all not perfect in life and make mistakes. The women I have spoken to in my medical practice, for the most part, do position their kids between their ex-husbands and use them as a bargaining chip to exhort more money. The sincere fathers look for answers and most of them have jumped higher than they're asked with negative results. It's a waste of time and their money to go back to court because the ruling is often in their favor or they play stupid and have scores of reasons and answers to get out of the pickle they are in with the courts. I love my kids very much but work keeps me busy and the distance between us keeps us apart. The money I have sent them over the years has run out and the alimony she continues to receive is a reminder every month. My practice struggled a bit but continues to endure. I often hear from her after I have called and talked to the kids (as they are older now and off on their own) as they sometimes are bothered and trust going to her to talk some more...then out of the blue I get "the phone call" as she feels it's her place to talk and lecture me about what I have said to the children. If they have issues or questions, I tell them and her they should come to me and I will give them answers to their questions. Now I have discovered the rare occasions I discover events in their lives and I make the effort to attend to celebrate...it becomes all about "ME" instead of them. I make the trip, I take scores of pictures, I'm excited about being in their presence, I ask tons of questions...and suddenly the whole theme becomes ME instead of their event. Today, I have discovered my daughter is having a wedding ceremony, by invitation ONLY, and I'm not on the list. I discovered this during a google search for family genealogy (a hobby of mine) of her name and discovered a wedding page with all the info. I should add that in AUG2012, they had a brief civil wedding ceremony down here where I live for immediate family only, his and her's (me and my ex), then he deployed with the military overseas. They promised other family and friends a more formal ceremony the next year...and this is where we spoke. She didn't want me there and didn't invite me because other than special events I wasn't there on a regular basis. I should note that both kids live near and attended college closer to their mother than near me...that's fine, it's their choice. They received more visits and went home more often than making the trip my way. I understand, it was my choice to move away...I had to break free from her manipulating hold on me with the kids. And I live with that decision every day...because when ever I speak with them they always bring it up. Getting back to the wedding...She explained her reasons for not inviting me, I offered my rebuttal and sent her all my love and hopes for a wonderful event... So, as Fred has suggested, if the shoe were on the other foot then you could see where we're coming from. I've seen both sides and lived through it. My current wife lost custody of her son to her ex-husband and ended up paying child support...she struggled with visits, vacations, phone calls, gifts being taken away from her son and kept by her ex...she's been through it all. She has a bitterness that words can't describe...she also has a concealed weapons permit and is an excellent marksman. She looks for an opportunity to use it on him. She hasn't heard a word from her son in over 9 years now. Even her ex has no idea where he is today. I've been in your shoes Fred. I only hope I'll be allowed to share in the happiness of grand kids one day...I'll hold my breath.

0 7

My 5 year olds dad has been in and out of her life since she was 2. The first 2 years are just his stupidity in not claiming her as his own. Anyway, this past summer he actually was taking her on a weekly basis. Then he got a new job which meant he would only be able to see her on weekends. His conclusion of this is that he has more important things to do with his weekends (Drinking, smoking weed, slutting around...) He saw her in July, then in October, then for Christmas each time when he dropped her off he said "love you, I'll see you next week." So the next week would roll around and he didn't call and wouldn't answer his phone. My daughter asked why he wasn't coming and my answer to her was, "Your daddy didn't have a daddy when he was little so he doesn't know how to be a daddy." She seemed to accept that as an answer. Her birthday is coming up this month and I am guessing he might stop by to give her a present, then again maybe not since the state started garnishing his checks for child support payments that he hadn't been paying on his own. I also tell her that God is her daddy and that He is always with her... I'm sure she'll understand it more as she gets older. God is the head of our household so that answer works for us. My realtionship with God is the best thing that has happenened in my life... I was on the brink of death, and He saved me. Teach your childrean about God, it is the best relationship and the only one to fill the void they are feeling in their hearts.

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My Daughter's Father lives in a different state. She started asking at 3 why she didn't have one. I tolde her she did and everyone has one. I explained that he lived far away and although he could not be with her, he loved her. I didn't think I was lying because he said so when she was born and up until about a year and a half after that. She would have a breakdown twice a year wanting him to be a part of her life. I hugged her and cried with her. I always explained that everyone is not ready to be a parent and that if you force them to be it could have a negative impact like child and continuous rejection. I also explained that it had nothing to do with her and it was a choice he felt he had to make. I told her I was more than ready to be a parent and I will always be here with her as long as God knows she needs me to be here (She understood that people die and that was a fear of hers too). She accepted that. I never speak negative of him and I have allowed her to write him letters but I would explaining that she may not receive a response but she could just let him know how she was doing. I had to play it by ear and move on the topic when she did. I am always honest with her and adress issues as she asks and seems ready to receive the response. I have no hard feelings toward him...things happen and I share with her positive times we had together. She seems to get it. Best wishes!

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When they are old enough to understand. Each child is different. They will ask and you will know.

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It is important to understand your child and what their level of comprehension is. I told my son from the beginning what was happening during my divorce, but on a level he could understand and NOT demeaning their father in any way. I have chosen not to tell him when his dad's visitation is, just so there won't be any disappointment if there is a reason for a no show. They understand alot more than we give them credit for!

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Be Honest! Good or Bad it's Still Your Child. Don't give them the ammunition to Treat you differently in the Future...

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I think as soon as they start asking about them, it is time to tell the truth

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My ex-husband and I split in 2008.It was VERY emotional for me and I tried MAKING my then husband see our son,but he made every excuse not too.He was not allowed to take him because he would not give me an address,but I told him he could see him whenever.He only saw him 2 times in a 8 months, time totaling 1.5 hours.When I moved back home, he didn't even come and say goodbye to him.4 months later,I filed for divorce.A month later we had a temporary hearing.That was the first time they had seen each other since May.He didn't see him until 6 months later when our divorce was final. Our decree stated that he could see him whenever he wanted but he had to COME and see him since there wasnt much of an "established" relationship and it wasnt in the best interest to have a then 3 year old travel 5 hours away from his mother.This was to remain in place for a year and then could be revised.He didn't fight/object to any of it.He would call sporadically, on Christmas, on his birthday.He NEVER sent him a gift and we NEVER made a big deal of it.When my son turned 5,we both remarried.He did not request for our son to attend his wedding and in his defense I would not have let him go.At that point, he had not come to see my son even once since the divorce.The following January (2012), my ex had requested to relinquish his rights.
I asked him why and he said "my son gets more money than my family over here does". After further "discussing", etc. I drew up papers and in May 2012 it was made official.The reason I tell my "life story" is because I struggle with the decision i made in agreeing with his.My son remembers his father and makes up little lies/stories about them together. He misses him, wants to see him. I don't know what to say. And I can't help but feel guilty for letting this happen. I have always struggled with knowing what the best thing was to do, and now I don't know how to deal with my son being sad and wanting to see his fàther.I don't want my son to blame me.

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Just because he was a lying, cheating jerk to me doesnt mean hes gonna treat my son with such disrespect. When i forgave him for all that he has put me through, it had made our live alot easier. We dont fight anymore and we dont have any negitive thought toward each other. We are only human we will all make mistakes. I do think as a parent we treat the other parent like their mistakes are way worse. I had to stop thinking like that. Every time his dad makes an effort i praise him. I always tell him. "I really appreciated you taking him to the zoo. He really enjoyed it. Hell be talking about this trip for a while." If he makes a promise and something comes up to where he cant take him to the zoo. I just simply say "Aw thats too bad. He was really looking forward to spending time with you. Maybe we can try again another time." I would rather do that then fight with him to where he feels attacked.

#1 in my book never mention MONEY or CHILD SUPPORT. It makes the guys feel like they are only good for money. They think thats the only reason why you want them around.

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There is never a good time to tell them. No matter what you say they are going to be hurt. However, my daughter found out about her dad around the age of 5. Not my choice. Children are mean, even to their own brotheres and sisters. She found out because one of her older sisters told her that the man who she called Daddy wasnt her dad! I WAS LIVID! I understand her sister was angry but it was uncalled for and hurtful. THis in turn caused a lot of emotional problems for her. She is now 16 almost 17 and is just now learning to deal with it. so this is a good question. I almost wish I would have just told her he was dead. But that would be lying to her and what kind of parent does that make me when I have taught them NOT to lie.

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my oldest daughter was conceived in a situation that ended with him in prison....somehow someone told her he was dead. When she started asking questions (she is nine) I explained that he wasnt dead but the situation was complicated and he was unable to be there for her. I dread the day when I have to explain how I got pregnant at 14 but she will always know she was Mamma's gift from God!

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You tell them when they ask and then you have to be sensitive and cautious as to what you tell them. When my daughter asked me that question over a year ago, all I could tell her was that there wasn't a reason for him not to have been in her life. We may have not lived in the same city or state for the first 7 1/2 years of her life, but he always had phone numbers and addresses of her whereabouts and he chose to disconnect before she was 2. Before her 9th birthday, we moved back to the state where her father is and I tracked him down to let him know so that he could have a chance to get to know his daughter and for the 10 months we were there, he never managed to find the time or make an effort to be in her life. Now, he's just a voice on the phone that she hears on an average of 6 times a year and that's rounding up. We single parents bare the burden of either making the absent parent a good person or bad person, but usually the child will see them for who they are.

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My name is Tucker Stacey.This is a very joyful day of my life because of the help Dr.Trust has rendered to me by helping me get my ex husband back with his magic and love spell. i was married for 6 years and it was so terrible because my husband was really cheating on me and was seeking for a divorce but when i came across Dr.Trust email on the internet on how he help so many people to get thier ex back and help fixing relationship.and make people to be happy in their relationship. i explained my situation to him and then seek his help but to my greatest surprise he told me that he will help me with my case and here i am now celebrating because my Husband has change totally for good. He always want to be by me and can not do anything without my present. i am really enjoying my marriage, what a great celebration. i will keep on testifying on the internet because Dr.Trust is truly a real spell caster. DO YOU NEED HELP THEN CONTACT DOCTOR TRUST NOW VIA EMAIL: Ultimatespellcast@gmail.com or call (+1 631 500 4609) or ultimatespellcast@yahoo.com. He is the only answer to your problem and make you feel happy in your relationship. his Via web sit: http://ultimatespellcast8.wix.com/ultimatespellcast

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I have 3 kids, they were 18 months, 4 yrs and 7 yrs when their father left, and I have always been upfront and honest with them right from the start. Of course they all understood things in different ways and I explained things as appropriate for their age, as they have gotten older they have more of an understanding....(although he lives overseas and no longer wants cantact with his kids), so this was something else I had to explain (not easy)

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I had an experience with my children asking many questions of him. And my replys are still same: I DON'T KNOW. And they did not get a point from me, then I had said, "THAT YOUR FATHER WANTS TO DO ANYTHING OR EVERYTHING WHEREVER OR WHATEVER HE GOES."

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While I agree with an age appropriate answer....I have been in this situation 3 times! I could never tell them a lie, but I could not tell the truth. So I just said, "you know hunny, I am not sure." Because truthfully I wasn't. I didnt know what the dad's REAL reason was. I just knew from my point of view, and that was never good. I surely did not want to say negative things, so I just reassured that I loved them and went on about something else. As they grew older, they were not stupid! They figured it out on their own and never have they been angry with me. Because in my heart, I knew I rally did not know the dad's TRUE reason in HIS heart as to why he was not there. And I too believe that we dont know everything they do or where they go or why they do it!

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Hello,

I am Anita Williams From USA. I wish to share my testimonies with the general public about what this man called DR SYLVESTER from Africa has just done for me , this man has just brought back my lost Ex wife to me with his great spell, I was married to this man called Micheal we were together for a long time and we loved our self’s but when he was unable to give me a child for 4 years he left me and told me he can’t continue anymore then I was now looking for ways to get her back until a friend of mine told me about this man and gave his contact email to me (st.benson391@outlook.com)
then you won’t believe this, when I contacted this man on my problems he prepared this spell cast, and bring my lost husband back,thank you once again the great DR SYLVESTER for what you have done for me, if you are out there passing through any of this problems listed below: you can contact him via Email; (st.benson391@outlook.com) or his website:http://stbensonsolutionhome.webs.com
Write DR SYLVESTER on (st.benson391@outlook.com) i can not stop testifying of his good work and i believe that a trial will convince you also.
Email : st.benson391@outlook.com
Mobile Number: +2348136090988
Website:http://stbensonsolutionhome.webs.com

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(A MUST READ TO EVERYONE, TESTIMONY OF HOW I GOT MY Ex BACK)
CALL Dr OKIKA NOW FOR HELP TOO...+2348134367919'

i want to share a testimony of my life to every one. i was married to my wife amanda, i love her so much we have been married for 9 years now with two kids. when she went for a vacation in italy, she meant a man called antonio whom charm her with his beauty, she told me that she is no longer interested in the marriage any more. I was so confuse and seeking for help, i don't know what to do until I met my friend Miss Corte and told her about my problem. she told me not to worry about it that she had a similar problem
before and introduce me to a man called Dr OKIKA who cast a spell on her ex and bring him back to her after 2days. Miss Corte ask me to contact Dr OKIKA. I contacted him to help me bring back my wife and he ask me not to worry about it that the Gods of his fore-fathers will fight for me. He told me by two days he will re-unite me and my wife together. After two day my wife called and told me she is coming back to sought
out things with me, I was surprise when I saw her and she started crying for forgiveness and that she never knew what came upon her that she will never leave me again or the kids. it was the spell that was cast on her that was working on her. Right now I am the happiest man on earth for what this great spell caster did for me and my wife, you can contact Dr. OKIKA on any problem in this world, he is very nice, here is his contact Okikaspelltemple@hotmail.com or okikaspelltemple@gmail.com You can also contact him through his mobile: +2348134367919. He is the best spell caster.

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This is a question I am struggling with! My children are both 2 and 3, the relationship with their father ended over a year ago as due to domestic violence which started when I was pregnant and it gradually got worse. It took me a lot to get out of the relationship as he controlled everything, but I did and the kids and I are better than ever. I have no idea what to tell my children, I don't want to say bad things about their dad but in the same aspect I have to protect them.

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I have two children 7 a boy and 5 girl.!! Just recently my ex left us niw he living with someone else..!! No contact at all, even asking how the kids are.!!! They already know about it. I dont know if its right for them to know but i guess all i know is that i dont want to loe yo them. Even theyre too young i think they should know. May eldest one use to say that i thought we are going to forget about him and yet u still crying and remembering. And also may youngest used to say to her classmate yes my dad has a new wife... Im so scared that i dont know how badly things affected them and how can we pass this trial we are facing.....

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I am Thatcher Moris from Australia,OMG!! This is certainly a shocking and a genuine Testimony i have ever seen..I visited a forum here on the internet on the 9TH OF JUNE 2015, after my husband separated me and my marriage of 8 years was broken down and i was totally inconsolable and without hope because i have tried all means to get my husband back after much pleading and did everything possible to make sure that he comes back, but nothing worked out for me.... And i saw a marvelous testimony with this email address ZULUSPELLTEMPLE@OUTLOOK.COM or ZULUSPELLTEMPLE@gmail.com of this powerful and great spell caster called Dr ZULU on the forum.. And i saw how Dr ZULU reunited a family and brought the Husband of a woman back to her in just 24 hours..I never believed it, because i never heard nor learn anything about magic before.. Not a soul would have been able to influence me about magical spells, not until Dr ZULU did it for me and restored my marriage of 8 years back to me and brought my spouse back to me in the same 24 hours just as i read on the internet..i was truly astonished and shocked when my husband came to my house and knelt down begging for forgiveness and for me to accept him back.. I am really short of expressions, and i don't know how much to convey my appreciation to you Dr ZULU.. you are certainly a God sent to me and my entire life and family.. he did his work just as he guaranteed me in 24 hours and it yielded an optimistic result to me and i was able to get my
Husband back. right now my Husband has falling so much in love with me and my kids like never before. This spell casting isn't brain washing but he opened up his eyes to see how much i love and wanted him, i really don't know how best to be grateful to you Dr ZULU for bringing happiness into my life and family, and now i am a joyful woman once again.. here is his Email:ZULUSPELLTEMPLE@OUTLOOK.COM, or connect him with these number tel:234131612153

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Easy way to join the illuminati brotherhood in the world.

Kindly contact Mr Hazzard Wallace the illuminati online registrations officer in USA through their email now: hazzardwallace@hotmail.com and you shall be given an ideal chance to visit the satan and his representative after registrations is completed by you, no sacrifice or human life needed, illuminati brotherhood brings along wealth and famous in life, you have a full access to eridicate poverty away from from your life now. So contact Mr Hazzard Wallace the online registrar at: hazzardwallace@hotmail

brotherhood of illuminati,

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Well I think if their farther was a good man than When they start asking about them tell them all the wonders and good memories but if their farther wasn't so nice then still tell them about him when they ask but don't make them out to be an awful horrid person don't lie but sugar code it a little don't lie just ease the blow if u will and if u don't no what to say then say something like your farther was interesting he was a fun time or even just its not the right time

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!!! “LOVE is the key to LIFE”. !!!


At last my happiness has been restored by a Man named Dr Ukaka ,, my name is Lisa Buckley I want every one on this site or forum to join me thank this Dr Ukaka for what he just did for me and my kids. my story goes like this I was married to my husband for 5 years we were living happily together for this years and not until he traveled to Italy for a business trip where he met this prostitute who be witched he to hate me and the kids and love her only so when my husband came back from the trip he said he does not want to see me and my kids again so he drove us out of the house and he was now going to Italy for to see that other woman. so I and my kids were now so frustrated and I was just staying with my mum and I was not be treating good because my mama got married to another man when my after my daddy death so the man she got married to was not treating I and my kids well so I was so confuse and I was searching for a way to get my husband back to me and my kids so one day as I was browsing on my computer I saw a testimony about this MAN Dr Ukaka of freedomlovespel@gmail.com shared on the internet by a lady and it impress me too so I also think of give it a try at first a was scared by when I think of what me and my kids are passing through so I contact him and he told me to stay calm for just two days that my husband shall be restored to me and to my best surprise I received a call from my husband on the second day asking after the kids and I called Dr Ukaka and he said your problems are solved my child so this was how I get my family back after a long stress of brake up by an evil lady so with all this help from Dr ukaka of freedomlovespel@gmail.com I want you all on this forum to join me to say a huge thanks to Dr ukaka and I will also advice for any one in such or similar problems or any kind of problems should also contact him for help.website address: http://freedomlovespel.yolasite.com

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I was only seeing my daughter's dad who lied about being separated . He is in touch but only because I made Him. He came into her life when she turned a 1 year but only to call him by his name and not dad. Now I realise that I have been stupid to listen to him saying it would be confusing for her to call him daddy during that time. Now she going to be 3 years old, see him very rarely and briefly. The other day she turned to me to say" mummy all the children have a dad". I don't know how to tell her as she knows by his first name.

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I am Cindy Ivan from United Kingdom, Scotland, I did not believe in Love spell magic for i thought and believed it was not real until the day that my boyfriend left me for one Girl, I tried all my possible means to get him back to me but it all seems to be in vain, So one day i saw a testimony on the INTERNET about DR OVIA how he helped one Man to get his wife back, although i didn't believe in love spell, i contacted him because i loved my Boyfriend and i want him back, So DR OVIA performed the love spell and told me to wait for just 12 hours which i did, So surprisingly, My Boyfriend sent me an apologizing Text and he started begging me, from that day, we became together and up till now, We are in love with each other like never before.. If you need any help, You can as well contact DR OVIA on this Valid Emails ( droviasolutioncenter@gmail.com or droviasolutioncenter@yahoo.com) You can also call him on +2348054049995 or contact him directly Via His Website http://droviasolutioncenter.webs.com/
My Regards...

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Today has being the most happiest day of my life after 1 year of sadness and sorrow without being with the one i love, i tried all my possible best to make sure i make my lover happy but it never seems to work out well it was like am doing everything in vain but all thanks to Dr.Azuka for coming to change all my worries and sadness to Joy. i knew the great man when i read some wonderful reviews about Dr.Azuka how he has helped a lots of people on there relationship problem i was reading a magazine which then i saw great testimonies as well which then i decided not to waste time.he told me not to worry that he assures me that within 48 hours everything would be sorted out i believed Dr.Azuka so much because i believe he can't fail me and i sent him all my details. Truly Dr.Azuka never failed me,my husband who left me for good a year come back to me. My husband and i have been living contentedly since this spell caster reunited us together with his love spells. Thank you so so so much Dr.Azuka for your powerful spells. expressions are not sufficient to say thank you. here is his email address Greatazukalovespell@gmail.com or greatazukalovespell@yahoo.com tell +2348071398555.or +2348100399287.

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i want to thank Dr Usunorbu of drusunorbuspellhome@gmail.com for making me happy in getting my ex lover back after broken up with me last month,i contacted this spell Dr for help and his work was guarantee that i was going to get my ex lover back after 24 hours, although i doubted his word but i decided to give it a try by cooperating with his terms, i did not only get back my ex lover after the spell, but i was also promoted in my place of work, i thank this powerful and trust dr who helped me found joy in my relationship, and me and my ex who is now my lover again is getting married on the 6th of next month, i am so happy that atleast i am with my lover again after all the pains and stress i being through when he first broke with me, i thank Dr Usunorbu (drusunorbuspellhome@gmail.com) i am so so happy i love my lover so much that i was almost end my life when he told me that it was over between both of us, but i thank the spell caster send by God in heaven to help his people, i am grateful Dr Usunorbu i am proud to know these spell Dr i am happy that he help me with my problems, for making my life see joy and happiness again, i am happy for his kindness, i am so happy,so i decided to share my store on the net so that people will see the good which Dr Usunorbu of (drusunorbuspellhome@gmail.com) has done for me in my life, and if you are out there passing through any condition, or having bad time with your lover,or your lover has broke up with you, do not think than to contact these same spell caster on his email address(drusunorbuspellhome@gmail.com) and you will consider your problem solve. Thanks Dr Usunorbu and i pray you will live long forever because you are so kind and powerful, this is my story from Lydia Claire From Texas United State Of America

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When you decide your child is old enough to comprehend the answer.

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you cannot answer for the parent who is not there, you can only speak for yourself.
Honestly, I don't know why is the answer I would give, but not everyone can stand up to the responsibility to be a full time parent. My husband was there....but not there. he was in bed and always yelling at anyone who "bothered" him. so it turned out easier without him.. Kids love their parents no matter what and you have to respect that. I would never bad mouth air speak wrong about my husband, kids can see for themselves.

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i have been having a hard time with my 6 year old son. Im dating a guy that is great to him and my son likes him a lot, but once the word "dating" came into the picture - my son had a breakdown. This guy has a 5 year old son and the boys have their good days and bad days. But the weird thing is....my son is ok with his dad dating. He says it "different." he says he never wants me to get married and he never wants a stepdad. He never wants me to kiss anyone. ITs killing me because I have always had a strong bond with my son and anytime my boyfriend comes around, he has a breakdown....unless they are throwing the ball or wrestling, etc.....then he's happy. I just feel so guilty, like Im being a bad mom but Im also trying to be real about this and have my son realize im the adult. I still love him more than the world and hes the best thing that ever happened to me. He and I have always been buddies. His dad cheated several times when he was 2 and I left. Now his dad sees him regularly bc he moved to our town and he loves his dad. He used to cry when he'd go to dads, now he wants to be with him a lot more. This is so hard. Any advice?

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Today has being the most happiest day of my life after 1 year of sadness and sorrow without being with the one i love, i tried all my possible best to make sure i make my lover happy but it never seems to work out well it was like am doing everything in vain but all thanks to Dr.Azuka for coming to change all my worries and sadness to Joy. i knew the great man when i read some wonderful reviews about Dr.Azuka how he has helped a lots of people on there relationship problem i was reading a magazine which then i saw great testimonies as well which then i decided not to waste time.he told me not to worry that he assures me that within 48 hours everything would be sorted out i believed Dr.Azuka so much because i believe he can't fail me and i sent him all my details. Truly Dr.Azuka never failed me,my husband who left me for good a year come back to me. My husband and i have been living contentedly since this spell caster reunited us together with his love spells. Thank you so so so much Dr.Azuka for your powerful spells. expressions are not sufficient to say thank you. here is his email address Greatazukalovespell@gmail.com or greatazukalovespell@yahoo.com tell +2348071398555.or +2348100399287.

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I am here to share my experience with the world on how i got my love back and saved my marriage… I was married for 6 years with 3 good lovely kids and we lived happily until things started getting ugly and we had a fights and arguments almost every time… it got worse at a point that she filed for divorce… I tried my best to make her change her mind & stay with me cause i loved her with all my heart and didn't want to loose her but everything just didn't work out… she moved out of the house and still went ahead to file for divorce… I pleaded and tried everything but still nothing worked.
The breakthrough came when someone introduced me to this wonderful, great spell caster Dr. ADUWAWA who eventually helped me out… I have never been a fan of things like this but just decided to try reluctantly cause I was desperate and left with no choice… He did special prayers and cast a love spell on her. Within 3 days she called me and was sorry for all the emotional trauma she had cost me, moved back to the house and we continue to live happily, the kids are happy too and we are expecting our fourth child… I have introduced him to a lot of couples with problems across the world and they have had good news… Just thought I should share my experience cause I strongly believe someone out there needs it… You can email him at: ( aduwawaspiritualtemple@yahoo.com ).

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It always give me Joy when i see Dr.tamazaki details on the internet because it is through those details that i was able to get my lover back within 48 hours, One good thing about Dr.tamazaki is that his job are 100 percent guarantee. When my lover left my house and told me she is done with me i plead and plead but i couldn't get her back i even went extra miles in buying her expensive gifts but she still refuse to come back to me but today through the help of Dr.tamazaki my lover is back to me and she is ready to spend her life with me. I want to tell people that there is no need to pass through stress and pains in there relationship when you have the solution at Dr.tamazaki temple whose contact details are: dr.khumen@yahoo.com, tamazaki9@gmail.com or call +2348185277879 For quick solution to your relationship stress

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I am carissa from USA, i want to share a testimony of my life to every one. i was married to my husband, i love him so much we have been married for 6 years now with two kids. when he went for a vacation to France he meant a lady called Marian, he told me that he is no longer interested in the marriage any more. i was so confuse and seeking for help, i don't know what to do until I met my a friend of my and i told her about my problem. she told me not to worry about it that she had a similar problem like this before and she introduce me to a man called Dr.swami from indian who cast a strong spell to bring him back to her after 3days. then my friend ask me to contact Dr. swami. I contacted him to help me bring back my husband and he ask me not to worry about it that he is going to bring him back to me within 3days. He also told me by three days he will re-unite me and my husband together. After three day my husband called and told me he is coming back to sought out things with me, I was surprise when I saw him and he started crying for forgiveness. Right now I am the happiest win this world,if you need any restore in your relationship contact Dr. swamitemple@yahoo.com He is the best spell caster i have ever seen on earth for what this great spell caster did for me and my husband, you can contact Dr.swami on any problem

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