Under what circumstances is it safe for kids to walk home from school?
26 Answers
When are your kids old enough to go out alone?
Whether it's down the street to a friend's house or over to a neighborhood park, when do you think kids are old enough to venture away from home without mom and dad?
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40 Answers
18 Votes
In my opinion it depends on the child's maturity. Hopefully each parent out there takes time to teach them to pay attention to their surroundings, have a cell phone with the GPS chip on etc...but I personally never let mine wonder off alone unless they are over 18. Call me parinoid, but I just don't like the idea my kids having something bad happen after I have worked so hard to protect them all these years!
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Maricar - commented on Dec 19, 2011
I totally agree with you. :)
16 Votes
Wow... Tough question and like so many that answered below ~ I believe there are very many factors to lead you to your child's best age. That said, I believe the age for children to just walk to a neighborhood friend's alone would be 13. And only if your 13 year old were well educated to look out for all sorts of possible dangers. My ten year old and I volunteer for an organization that raises funding and awareness for the AMBER Alert program. We've volunteered with this terrific organziation for five years so my little girl is pretty savvy when it comes to her surroundings and her safety. One parent below mentioned being afraid because she didn't know the fathers of her child's friends. I firmy believe that it's our responsibility to develop a good and strong relationship with all moms and dads that our children befriend. Males aren't the only gender that abuse children. One parent also stated that more abductions occur in small towns. The facts do not confirm that statement. No town is automatically "safer" than another because of it's size. To all those that state you're an overprotective parent - let me share words that a friend of mine often tells me when I make that claim... "There is no such thing as a parent that is TOO protective of their child(ren)." The wise woman that often reminds me of this is not only a member of the Bureau of Criminal Apprehension, but she heads up the AMBER Alert (abducted children) program. In my opinion, if you feel you are overprotective of your children ~ it confirms that you're doing all you can to ensure their safety. And that's our job. :) Have a beautiful and blessed Thanksgiving holiday with your families!!
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Erin - commented on Dec 1, 2011
Great comments, I equally think its important not to come from a fear based place where we begin to single out certain genders or areas we live, remembering that the majority of criminal acts against children are done by people (adult women and men and other children) who actually know them and fall somewhere within the family or friend circle. I think this question is up there with at what age should we allow our children to be at home alone. Maturity is key and every child is uniquely different as is every parent. I always wager on the side of caution. : ) Great Comments ♥
10 Votes
So many comments address only the issue of abduction. Although it is a concern, it is probably the least likely risk for the kids. I am more concerned with my kids' ability to cross a busy street, or stay away from dangerous things along their route (high voltage boxes, big dogs, risky litter, etc). When they are mature enough to make good choices surrounding these issues I let them go beyond the cul de sac. As they get older I expand the areas they are allowed to go it alone. As they demonstrate good judgement and responsibility they will get to go further.
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Marie - commented on Dec 2, 2011
Thank goodness you said this! So many people are worried about things that are very unlikely to occur. However, children can easily get in to trouble by not taking safety precautions! We have a park on our neighborhood street, and our neighborhood is gated, but until I trust that they will stay off the street and go only there and back, they won't be going there by themselves.
10 Votes
My son was allowed to go to the corner store last year (he was 10); same goes for going to/from school - we live in NYC but in a safe, very family-friendly neighborhood ;now that he's 11 he takes the bus to school and is allowed to go to a playground by us on his own, but only when it's light out and he always has his cell phone. As a school social worker, I have worked in a very tough neighborhood and saw much, much younger children (as young as 1st grade!) out on the streets unsupervised. I strongly feel that this is inappropriate - whether it's at home or outside, children this young are not yet able to make decisions in emergency/crisis situations; for that same reason I feel they should not be made responsible for supervision of younger siblings. We place ourselves and our children at risk doing that...
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Kimberly - commented on Nov 30, 2011
Where, I'm from you See kids with babies and being the MOM,
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Shaylee - commented on Apr 14, 2013
social workers know nothing........i mean u don't know those kids stories U haven't gone through it so there for u can't help the kids at ALL i don't care what u say back to me unless u have gone through being addicted to drugs,achohal,parents being divorced,parent dieing at young age,losing your home to forcloser,u almost dieing at young age.........SO U DON'T KNOW ANYTHING!!!!
9 Votes
It all depends on your neighborhood and your child. I let my 9 year old meet up with friends at the park in the neighborhood, but I also know that 6 of my friends live around the park and will keep an eye out. Additionally, I have a rule follower in my oldest, so I know that he will not stray from the guidelines I have given to him. My younger child, on the other hand, may not be ready at the same age.
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Tammy - commented on Nov 15, 2011
To many sexual predators out there, mine is 14 and I will drop him off at the skating rink or the mall with a group of friends, but I have always been an overprotective mom. I trust him, it is other people I do not trust.
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Sophie - commented on Nov 15, 2011
Most sexual predators contrary to the stranger myth, which exists, are people you know, neighbors, relatives, etc... very sad to say but true. My question would be: how do we keep our kids safe when the go to playdates and I don't really know the dad? Since 1 in 3 girls are molested and 1 in 3 women are raped, oy veh! This is a difficult topic to deal with.
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Teresa - commented on Nov 23, 2011
There are predators that are family. There are predators that are well-known to you and your community. And there are plenty of predators that are strangers. I feel we need to educate ourselves and I equally feel that me must not pull back from truly educating our children. We can educate our kids against dangers without completely frightening them. Feel free to reach me if you'd like me to share more on how I've helped educate my ten year old daughter. I cannot take the credit ~ some dear friends that work in the line of catching child abductors and predators have helped to train myself and my daughter against dangers.
7 Votes
Actually statistics show that the world is no more dangerous now than it was 30 yrs ago...the only difference is media attention. There has always been bad people in the world and always will be. So, for someone to say that when we were kids it was safe for our parents to kick us out til the street lights came on but it isn't now, that's totally untrue. Kids need to be taught safety and guidelines, what we expect and don't expect, and what to do in an emergency but they also need to learn how to be independant and how to think for themselves at some point. You are not doing your kids any favours by 'hovering' over them, it just prolongs their ability to be confident and independant. Our job is to teach them how to live in the real world, not create a bubble around them. I'm not saying let a 5yr old roam the neighborhood alone, but independance should be taught gradually with more every year.
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Ana - commented on Dec 2, 2011
That's right! Our job is to teach them to live in real world with out havng mom or dad as escort until 18th brthday.
7 Votes
In my humble opinion it is not really the age it is the level of maturity of the child in deciding if they are ready to venture on their own.
7 Votes
I would like to say I agree with most and that it depends on the maturity of the child and the neighborhood; but as someone pointed out, no neighborhood is immune. We would all like to believe that a child that follows the rules, has a cell phone, and calls when they are supposed to will be safe; but in reality if someone were to abduct a child a cell phone would be the first thing they took from the child and ditched. And it doesn't help to have people call you if your child didn't make it somewhere on schedule.
Like most of us, I am an over-protective mom who is trying to find a balance between the paranoia that consumes me every time my daughter leaves my sight and the level headed woman who wants to raise a healthy, safe, aware, and self-confident young lady.
Good luck to us all.
6 Votes
Depends on their maturity, size, and ability to follow instructions.
If I see that my kids can't complete little tasks that are requested of them at home, then how in the world can I trust them to do what I expect when I am not around.
If a child is on the smaller side he could be easily abducted or bullied by bigger kids.
If he is not mature enough to see dangers around him... basically willing to dart out into the street with out looking just so he can save his ball; then he is not old enough.
My oldest is 10... but there is no way I would ever let him be alone and yet he has shown way more maturity than most 15 year old boys I have seen lately.
5 Votes
I let my 9 year old son walk or ride his bike to a friends house with his cell phone and we have strict ground rules that he needs to call me the minute he is there which is about 2 blocks. We live in a rural small community with a lot of children around. I believe in being protective but I also believe in giving children their independence too. I come from suburbia Detroit and when I was growing up my mom would say, "Don't come home til the street lights come on". I realize these times are much different from the 70's and 80's but I also feel we need to let kids be kids and let them swing on swings and skateboard and just be- without hovering parents. I still walk him to the bus stop every morning and pick him up from the bus stop but he is ready for a bit of independence.
5 Votes
I won't let my kids (9 and 8 yo) out on the street by themselves period..... I'm over protective and the last thing I want to hear is someone kidnapped them and did something bad. They are not even allowed to go outside the garage if I'm not watching Them to play. Even when we are somewhere at the beach, mall or restaurant. I don't let them wonder around or go to the restroom by themselves. Call me "over" but at least they are safe and being protected. You never know who is out there and what they are capable of doing...
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Eva - commented on Nov 29, 2011
Sorry didn't mean to give you -1 !!! But I'm thinking just like you !!! Doesn't matter what neighborhood whatever !!!
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Karen - commented on Dec 4, 2011
My kids are 10, and 8 and they are watched in the fences back yard. You never know who is out there for sure, especially here in the city.
2 Votes
i thinbk thats ahard one cause there world is abit of a messed up place with so many untrusting pepole i have got one baby and a nine year old son and there is no way i would let him venture away frrom home and i dont even know what age i feel ready to lethim out its sad that are kids cant be safe x
2 Votes
if your child is mature, and you are in a safe environment, such as a gated community, then maybe when the child is 12. and even then I would suggest the child be in a group of other children his or her age. not to sound paranoid but anything can happen, even in the safest of communities. just be smart be educated and educate your children. I have a 7 year old. at the end of the day I have him bring the trash to the dumpster, but I stand at the bottom of the stairs and I watch him throw the bag into the dumpster and I watch him walk back to me. I also wait for him at the bus stop when he is getting on to the bus and when he is getting off of the bus. then after that I go to work. when he is at the park I am at the park with him. that's just how it is now. I remember when I was a kid we could walk to the park with our little sisters and brothers with out any problems or worries. we don't live in that time anymore. it said but it is what it is.
1 Vote
I think I’ll be able to send them to their friends houses by the age of 6 when they can express exactly what happen with them and they can use a cell phone but I had to drive them their and to Know the family very well
But I want let them to go alone before the age of 17
1 Vote
I think it depends on your childs maturity, friends, neighbourhood, etc. My children are 18, 13 and 9 so of course different rules for each of them. We live in a small town of about 6000 people. They have areas they are allowed to go to. We live a block from the school & playground and so the 9 year old can meet friends there and go a few blocks in either direction of our house to another playground or friends houses. Not allowed to go past a certain street. 13 year old has more freedom, still monitor how far she is going and with whom. She does have a good group of friends though. Of course the 18 year old has almost free run. We do have a curfew for her and need to know where she is and who she is with. Cell phones are fantastic inventions and I am very willing to pay the money I do to give me peace of mind. I dislike when I see 4 year olds biking down the street with no parent around in a neighbouring city. You would not leave that child home alone for a half an hour, but on a bike down a street is ok? That upsets me.
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Monique - commented on Jul 5, 2012
The thing I don't understand, and you have touched base on it, is that in New Zealand, our laws state no child is to be left home alone under the age of 14 years old. Yet it seems to be okay for them to roam the streets? It makes no sense to me.
1 Vote
I think that it depends on your childs maturity. I started letting my son go to the park with friends when he was 9. He is now almost 12 and he rides his bike everywhere. The only rule is he must check in and have his cell phone on him at all times. He was going across the street to a friends house since he was 5. I although watched him walk across the street and made sure he went into his friends house. When it was time for him to come home I would make sure he got across the street safely.
1 Vote
It depends on the child. With all 3 of mine from a very early age I have pointed out where friend's houses are so they know where to go in case of danger. My youngest girl is very less adventurous than her older sister. I let them start by going to Grandma's house who rings when they arrive and leave. They are allowed further a field once they have mobile phones and if they don't ring or come in when supposed to they know they'll be grounded. They then feel they are in control.
0 Votes
ummm, if you ever want your kid to grow up to be independant, i should hope you stop before theyre 14. if your still walking them places, and driving them places at 17 ask yourself what they would do if you ended up dying the next day..theyd be kind of screwed, dont you think?
0 Votes
7 or 8.
0 Votes
Ok EVERY SINGLE PERSON HERE IS A RACIST PRICK NOT ALL MEN ARE RAPISTS YOU GOSSIPING ASSHOLES
0 Votes
The thing I don't understand, is that in New Zealand, our laws state no child is to be left home alone under the age of 14 years old. Yet it seems to be okay for them to roam the streets? It makes no sense to me. My boy is only just turning 3, but at this stage I do not feel comfortable at the idea of him being unsupervised before he is 12.
0 Votes
my kids play outside without me being right there. They are 9,7 and almost 5. We live on a private road with 9 houses on it, 7 are occupied. one is for sale and the oter isn't the right house for what we are zoned for. It's safe for them to go play out in the yard, walk to neighbors. My 4 year old plays outside during the school day sometimes. We do have a creek that runs through property(everyone on our side of the road does) and they know not to go past the topper for hubby's truck. If we lived where I grew up maybe just on our street not out in the town. It's nice living in a smaller community than a bigger one(i grew up in Boston). It depends on your community, your trust in them, how they act. My kids will never be able to walk to school, it's to far from us to walk. If it would make u feel better and you can afford it get the oldest a prepaid cell so u can keep up with them
0 Votes
Depends on the kid -- a sensible, responsible kid will be ready sooner than a scatterbrained one. Also depends where.
My DD started coming home from school on her own when she was nearly 9 (end of grade 3), going to school alone at about 9 and a half (middle of grade 4), and has just recently started going to the local playground on her own (she'll be 10 in 3 months). She'd been running out to the corner store, literally within sight and call of our building, since about age 7.
We've found a watch is essential: if DD's going out to the park, we want to know what time to expect her back so we know when to worry (so far this has not arisen), and that means she needs a way to know what time it is. It's also important that kids know their way around the neighbourhood, know some basic safety rules (cross at the lights or crosswalk, walk your bike across the street, don't go into people's houses you don't know, don't go anywhere with a stranger, never chase your soccer ball into the road, etc.), and -- IMO, and I worry about this because my kid is short -- be tall enough to be seen by motorists. I'm not afraid off DD being abducted but I do worry about her being hit by some asshat driving while texting and yelling at their kids in the backseat :P
0 Votes
kids should be to go out a long to house party that older kids like 17 and 18 and some time kids should go out to party alone when they are 12 and 13 where there are kids that are there ages so i be live that all kids should be happy an have safe fun
0 Votes
I do not like the idea of my child at any age being "alone". Being without adult supervision is one thing, but it is totally different to be alone. I firmly believe in the buddy system. When my 2 oldest children went to the same school, they walked home together. When my oldest moved to the next school, my middle child walked home with a friend to her house, and then I picked her up there. I have dropped my sone off at the ice skating rink or the ball field when he was 9-10, knowing that he was meeting friends there and that there were other adults in the area that I knew and trusted. In addition, any time he goes somewhere, he takes his cell phone.
0 Votes
Maybe a yr or 2 after they start high school, but up until then I am keeping mine glued like super glue to me. There are too many dangers. Stupid drivers, kidnappers, sexual preditors. I know one lady at my kids school who works in domestic vielence refuge who says she loves helping people yet lets her primary school kids walk home alone (age 5 and 10 and both girls) cause she is still at work. I wouldnt take advice from her if I was in a womans refuge. They created after school care for that purpose. It makes me uposet when I see primaryt kids walking home alone. I drum it into my childrens heads the dangers of the world, even if people look at me like I am crazy. What would hurt more?? me saying loudly STOP LOOK LISTEN AND THINK at a crossing or being hit by a car. I relise one day they will venture out on there own and its my job to prepare them for knowing how to safely cross a rd or dont talk to that sick old man in the woolies que who keeps saying your a pretty 9 yr old.
0 Votes
Good for those parents who lives with their families.For me as an OFW,all the care that a mother should be giving to her son/daughter is being passed on to the grandmother or grandfather.So? it is basically on the childs' maturity that we get to determine whether we allow them to go out alone,of course just in the nearby store,playground....
0 Votes
perferrably at 13 but it also depends on where you are living. And how mature your child is. for example my oldest who is 21 now was responsible at the age 10 in a bigger city now my younger one when we lived in a small town they could go play with out my assistents at 5 but in the bigger city that we live in now i will not allow them to go with out eachother untell they are 13.
0 Votes
I am an over protected mother. I guess. I walked woith my daughter to school. I have daughters. When my oldest daughter turned 11 I bought her a cell phone. I still walk my girls to school. I let my oldest daughter walk home. she needs to call me when she is on her way. My youngest baby is 4 and goes to preschool. Next year My oldest one is going to middle school she needs to take city bus. when live in a great city. It will be hard for me. :(
0 Votes
Depends on their maturity and also their understanding of stranger danger and what to do if approached by a stranger.
I have a boy aged 9 1/2 and a girl aged just 6 and I have let my son go off with his mates a couple of times but I don't trust his mates after a incident where a friend of their came along and they allowed this lad to hurt my son. He is not mature enough to go off on his own but I will allow both my children to ride round the block as long as I can see them.
My daughter will probably be about 10 years old before I let her go off alone or with friends because she is more mature and outgoing but I will keep an eye on my son for a bit longer, maybe 12 or even 15. Both children are aware of strangers and I keep checking they remember what to do if a stranger approaches them but I would never wanna put them into that situation.
About 10 years ago, I found a two year old girl wondering about by herself and when I took her home, her mother started having a go at the girl's five year old sister for not watching her. A five year old can't look after themselves, let alone a two year old.
0 Votes
I have a 7 year old boy. I am trying to let him grow and be more independent. He likes to ride his bike in the church parking lot next door to our house. I'll tell him to go over and I'll be there in a couple minutes. If he's not there or doing something he's not supposed to be doing, he gets in trouble. As far as going to a friend's house, he is allowed to go one block in each direction of our house by himself. The blocks are not very big. We live a block from the beach and if he wants to go play in the sand he can, but he knows he is not allowed to go in the water unless I am there. I have to agree with what the majority of the moms on here say about the individual child's maturity level. The child needs to show signs that they will know what to do if something was to happen. Not all children at the same age will do the same thing. I instill in my son what he should do if someone was to approach him before I meet up with him.
0 Votes
I do not think that a child should be outside unsupervised at all. My step son was 8 yr old at his mothers house in a safe neighborhood , on a street with very few cars in a nice sub-division. He was hit and killed on his bike 3yrs ago. The man was not crazy or drunk.He was a youth preacher at a church and just didn't see him. Of course you have the kidnappers ,psychos , etc but that is not always the case. Accidents happen and supervision is key.My advice is to keep your kids in your sight (or a responsible adults sight)at all times when they are out of the house. They will get mad but you are better safe then sorry.
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Kimberly - commented on Nov 30, 2011
I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how difficult the last 3 years have been for you and your families. However, I hope his mom is not feeling guilty for the accident. It would be hard not to but would she really have been able to prevent the accident had she been watching him ride his bike? At that age it isn't as though you are right next to them in case they fall off or something.
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Jodie - commented on Nov 30, 2011
I honestly couldn't tell you if she feels guilty. I do not blame her, but now that this has happened I am very protective of my children. My 3 kids have bikes but they are not allowed to ride them unless someone is with them. Like people here have said maturity is a huge factor also. He was very smart but obviously if he was riding out of driveways into streets( with no helmet ) it wasn't time to be alone .No one should be blamed for an accident . All we can do is learn from them. One of the things I learned is that supervision can save a child's life . At least the odds are better. For example ,these stories we hear all of the time about children being snatched into a car . If an adult was present the chances of that happening becomes very slim . The last three years have been very difficult for everyone and I thank you for your kind words.
0 Votes
I think it is difficult enough being an adult and going out alone. I can't imagine my child going anywhere alone. She can go in groups of 3 or more, and call me as soon as she reaches her destination. I have walked it with her and know how long it takes. If she has not called me by that time-line, I am calling her.
I do not think responsibility has anything to do with it. The guy or woman kidnapping or harming a child could care less how responsible your child is. In fact, they prey on it. To say you live in a "safe, family friendly area" is only a false security. It would be no different to set out a solid gold bar in-front of your door and saying, "I live in a safe place. I can trust no one will take it". When put into that perspective, I think people would second guess their choice. My child means more to me than any amount of money in the world. I am going to protect her at all costs. Yep, even if she says, "I hate you because you don't understand!" At least I will have the satisfaction of actually having her around to say it. No place is safe.
0 Votes
I just got a letter from my Daughters Highschool. A pedafile was recently arrested not to far from where we live. The letter was to inform us that when the police were going through his things they came across a note book with childrens name in it from our High School. My Daughter was one of them! I was sick to my stomach. My Daughter and I just recently had an arguement that I wasnt letting " GO " She argued that I was to strict and I never let her be grown up enough to do things her other friends do. Well.....when this letter came home and I told her that this guy could have been 3 steps behind her and caused her harm she did a quick turn around apologized and realized I was right. Dont be to quick to allow your kidsout on there own. This guy was after boys as well as girls. When they searched his tent he was hiding in they found duct tape, rope, handcuffs, and a 10 inch knife. It isnt that you cant trust your kids, its the world outside you cant trust.
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Marianne - commented on Jun 28, 2012
Kelly, Wow, I cannot imagine that. I am so glad the guy was caught and I hope no harm was done to anyone on the specific list and whatever led the police to look for him that the person he did harm is ok and will have minor pain from this both psychologically along with any other. I was robbed about a year ago with my mother-in-law who is legally blind and she saved me from whatever harm this guy would have been able to do to me for 50 dollars. I was on the phone with my husband and at the bank getting money out of the ATM and usually I roll the windows up and the doors are secure. However, on this particular night I decided to get out and continue my conversation with my husband before going to the ATM. Not to mention there was a bar directly across the street. Anyway he did not get any money and my m-i-l hit him with her purse, poked him the eyes etc. he got away with her purse when she hit him but he did not get the 50 dollars from my extremely clinched hands. I might want to let you know he snuck to the drivers side window and then said hi as if he knew us and at this time the bar owner's son was his lookout; the music stopped and everyone went inside when we started screaming for help. My car was also still on but I froze and for some reason did not put it in reverse and run him over. He was a meth head and drunk but he did not get anything of value however, personal things that belonged to my husband's mom meant a lot to her she will never get back because of this smirky a%%whole who smirked at us while being sentenced to 5 years in prison just for the robbery attempt. Anyway you are right it is the world outside that you cannot trust.
0 Votes
well im never letting mine out till there old enough 2 look after thereselves, these days theres way 2 much shit in this world nobody is safe also years ago when my mom was 12 she had a 5 year old sister that was walkin home by herself and she got took off and murderd my mom is now 57 im very over protective i wont even let them sleep out, they are happy though as they enjoy going fishing with there dad and aslo they are still very young
0 Votes
I grew up in the neighborhood i now live in. It is quiet, upscale suburb and we never had any scares. Recently, a young girl from the neighborhood came home from school and surprised an intruder. he murdered her in her own home. I caution people on thinking that the neighborhood they live in safe just because it always has been. You never can tell.
0 Votes
I don't think it's being overprotected not to let your children go out alone. It's called being aware of the society that we live in. Also, bad things can happen in any neighborhood and to any age group. In today's society we have the responsibility to teach our children of the the dangers that can occur. My son is 10 and I'm not sure what age I will feel comfortable letting him venture out on his own. I know it won't be anytime soon.
0 Votes
we started when my son was about 9 1/2 we trust him and know he will follow the rules,call when you get there, call if your going to be late, don't go anywhere else without calling and asking first. baby steps help create an independance and trust he is now 11 and is just starting to be left home alone a bit and i know he can be trusted. i did it all the time growing either by my self or with freinds and relitives. yes i was more protective of my own children but we live on a busy road and they have to cross an intersection that has alot of acidents, i trust my children not the drivers
0 Votes
Depends on where you live, as others have said. I live in a rough part of Leeds, West Yorkshire (UK) and my 12 year old son doesn't even go as far as the local store on his own. The furthest he goes is my mother's house and that is about 600 metres from my house and if it's getting dark I watch him the whole way from my house whilst I'm on the phone to my mum and she tells me when he is within her view and she takes over - so there's not a minute he's not being watched.
If we were in a nice quiet location, it would probably be very different, but can't take that chance around here.
0 Votes
I agree it does have a lot to do with the neighborhood and also the age of the child
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