When is your son too old to go with you to the girls bathroom?

When your son was a baby, it was natural for you to bring him with you to the women's restroom. Now that he's older, when does it start to become awkward bringing him into the girl's bathroom?

40  Answers

2 18

There are doors on women's restroom stalls so they are not invading anyone's privacy. I will bring my son in with me at least until 8 or use a family restroom. There were plenty of 10 year old boys at Walt Disney world waiting by the wall for their moms in the women's restroom and I thought that was great. I know an 8 year old boy who went into the men's room at the mall and was sexually assaulted by a man and did not tell his mom until the next day because the man threatened him. I would rather deal with the stares from women then the threat of something happening to my child.

105
2 21

I worked in a prison and an inmate once told me that he couldn't wait til mother's would let their little boys go to the bathroom alone...That is when he would target his victims... I'm a sinle mom, and my son is currently 5 and he will be going to public restrooms with me until I'm comfortable!!

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37 6

My sons are 24, 19, 17, 14, and 10.... they all went into the restroom with me until they turned 12- so yeah the youngest goes with me if the others are not with us too. At 12 I had NO problem going to the mens room with them...standing at the door and my foot keeping it open with the announcement "I am a mom of 5 sons and have had 2 hubby's so Ive seen it ALL before! I have no problem coming in after my son!" Too many children have been hurt and even killed while going to the restroom. Mine wont be. I do not care one whit if it offends anyone else that I protect them anywhere we are and I applaud ALL moms who bring their sons into the restroom with them. Ive been there am still there and I totally understand!

*This is an added edit- for those who are completely blind to why a Mother who loves her kids would keep bringing her son into the women's room with her until she feels he's of an age to be safer- A little boy of 7 went to the men's room while his mother waited patiently outside the door for him. He didn't come out, he didn't come out...and didn't come out but men came and went past her. Finally she got a male employee to check for her son. He found the little boy in a stall- He had been sodomized and his throat cut all while his mother waited for him. His murderer had walk out the door by her to leave.... Which means this poor mom not only lost her son in heinous way but saw the face of the man who did it... so. Point blank get over your own 'issues' and realize not everyone wants to see your woo-woo... and MY son will be watched and protected.

67
16 0

Never thought about going to the men's bathroom with him...but that would work as well (quicker lines). But overall I would still choose the women's just because it's not as gross as the men's.

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1 34

My 8yr old son goes in the gents with his dad ,but wen we r on our own he comes in with me. I dont trust anyone for me to let him go on his own.

40
70 8

I bring my sons to the restroom with me because of the predators out there. I have taught them to stand in front of my stall if they finish before me. I then have them put 1foot inside my stall for safety. They are 5 & 3 soon to be 6 & 4. If we are at a small venue I stand outside the door and wait. Once my 5 y/o asked if he could use the big boy bathroom. Relunctanly I let him go. I became nervous when he didn't come right out. So I asked a gentleman to check for other men before I went in. Fortunately my son was just playing in the water and the man sent him out. I will allow my sons to got with me until 10 & 8 but only when they are together.

24
4 1

I will take my Son in the bathroom with me until he is close to full grown. I am so afraid because of sicko's who molest little boys in the bathroom. It happened to a 9 year old boy at the Ruby Tuesday in our small town. I am beyond sad for that child. I can't even eat there now. I take my 11 year old in the bathroom everytime. He is less than thrilled. Better safe than sorry.....

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1 43

I don't have a boy but I'd say when puberty hits and they start becoming very aware of women's bodies is when to stop. Until then, keep 'em safe. There are sex predators everywhere.


(oh and I am a mom, I just have my profile pic as my hubby for father's day. lol)

17
12 34

My son is pre-puberty, but he goes with me in a busy place like the airport. He is less than thrilled! With all his complaints, I have allowed him to go in men's, check, and report to me, then go back in while I wait outside! I'd rather be safe than sorrrrrry! It would take a lifetime for him to erase what might be said, shown, done, ... . I can't bare that thought! Sad but true!

67 43

I feel that it is up to the individual child's maturity level... my son will probably always and forever have to go in with me unless his dad's with us because he has Cerebral Palsy and Autism so his maturity level is not where it's supposed to be. that's just my thought on it,

12
0 16

I agree with Sherri C.. My son is 8 yrs. and he still goes to the restroom with me. The world is just not the same anymore and I would rather my son continue to go to the womens restroom as long as I feel it is necessary. I have had a women try to tell me that he shouldn't be in there but do you think she was going to tell me how to raise my child? NOOOO! If something was to happen to my child in the mens restroom I would never be able to forgive myself because of being concerned about others privacy. I'm sorry but if anyone is offended you just keep sending your son to the mens while mine is with me and get over it!
Chelsie
ps. To answer the question, it's when I feel he's too old.

10
2 7

The world has always been as creepy, we just hear about it more. My son is 7, and mad that I still make him come in with me most times. There have been exceptions where it's really easy for me to see all that happens in the mens room. I wish there were more "family" bathrooms in the states. It removes the issue. Seems like no matter how you raise your kid someone gets pissed off. You just do your own thing and try your best.

11 30

I don't have boys, I have girls, I am in Australia, but I don't look twice when i see a boy in the ladies toilets with their mum, I would keep my boys safe too. I would keep them coming in with me until you where comfortable about them going into the mens toilets on their own, I work with children and have worked with a few boys that have had very bad experiences in the mens toilets and they have been aged between 9 and 13. If you see them trying to look through cracks in doors at the women then give them a good talking to and if they then stop just keep them safe, your son will want to use the mens rooms before you want him too, so just go by your gut instinct and don't worry about other women or the looks you may get, like most of the comment I have read at least until puberty!!!

10
4 31

Mine is 4 and I still bring him with me. I dont trust anyone for him to go in the men's room alone. Unless he is with his daddy then he can go in with him. Other wise there are too many perverts/pyscho paths out there. But thats just the way I am.

7
1 10

My boys are 3 and 6 and they come with me. My 6 year old wants to go alone to the gents and depending on the circumstances, I let him. If he is with a friend and/or I know the bathroom is empty I am OK. But I stand outside and keep talking to him. A lot of drama for a little independence I'd say!! My problem now is that when we go swimming at the Y, the sign says boys 6 and older MUST use the Men's locker rooms. I am not down with that and he comes with me. but I did notice him look sideways at a lady who was walking around the changing room naked!! I do the same at home, but I guess it is different when it is not your mom!! I'd love suggestions as 6 is still pretty young to navigate all that needs to be done before and after swimming.

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0 1

My son is 8 and I still take him with me to the ladies bathroom. The way I see it is "As long as there are 'true' moms in the bathroom, they will understand COMPLETELY why I prefer not sending him to the mens bathroom! "

6
58 25

My son is 6 and he still goes with me. I get lots of stares, but I don't really care what others think. I rather be safe than sorry.

6
6 17

I have a 16 yr boy, 14 yr girl, two 6 yr old boy, 5 yr boy, 3yr boy and my boyfriend has twin 3 yr old boys....Let's be real! We teach our children to be safe but it does not always easy keep them safe when they are away from us. So, as long as we can WE PROTECT our children. If you make the choice to let your child into a public bathroom alone then teach your child to scream if something happens. Reasure your child you will be right outside the door and if he or she screams you will go in right away and nothing will happen to him. Granted one day they will be on their own but I say we watch over them and protect them as long as we can!!! The more you teach your children and drill it into their heads whats right and wrong the safer they will be :)

6
0 9

I agree! Teach them well and watch them flourish. I don't think it's okay to teach them to live in constant fear, we must provide them with the knowledge so they can survive on their own! LOVE IT!

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1 0

My son is 8 and when it is just the two of us out in a public place, I make him go into the ladies room with me. He sometimes gets a bit embarrassed, but I don't care. When it comes down to his safety or him being embarrassed, I'd rather him be embarrassed, he will get over it. His safety is my primary concern and I do not feel comfortable with him going into a men's room by himself, there are too many sick people in this world.

6
5 19

I agree with bringing my son in the restroom with me. He is 4 1/2 and too young to be on his own. I'll also only let him use a separate stall when the area is not really busy, and I can be in a stall next to his (I always make sure his door is locked). Then, he waits until I am finished to leave, and I am in front of his stall. When would you let your child walk home alone from school? That'd probably be a good sign that you are secure with his independence.

6
24 21

well it looks like kim has already answered for me.. Same 2 boys 4& 6 always come with me to toilet if their daddy not with us... I also make them put 1 foot under door so i can see them....

6
4 7

my son is 8 i take him in with me and i think i still will because he austism the only time he gose in the men room his daddy gose in with him

5
20 0

My son is 10 we go to lot of baseball games he still uses the ladies room with me

5
11 16

We take advantage of family restrooms whenever we can. My hubby has on a occasion insist we use ladies' restroom due to the conditions of men's restroom. I keep thinking he will probably go to the ladies room with me until he's ten. I also think family restrooms will be the norm by the time he's ten.

5
20 65

My son goes in with me...cause i will not allow him to stand outside from the bathroom..he's almost five..better to be safe than sorry..to many kid knappers and to many predotrs.. out there..you son if safer with u...

5
1 13

i think all moms out there will understand if you bring your son with you. mine is almost 8 and he comes in with me unless my husband is with us. and he doesnt actually go IN the stall with me either. he waits outside the stall by the wall. there are doors on the stalls so theres nothing he can see. its too scary out there with all these sickos preying on boys. until he is big enough to fight someone off, he's going with me!

5
4 23

I do not have any boys, just girls. But I would tell you what I would question you if your son was waiting outside the bathroom before his teenage years. Too many sicko's out there. Does not bother me one bit to see boys in the bathrooms. My problem is when my girls are with there Dad, he has to have the 8 year old watch them, there should be stall doors even in the Men's room. Bring your son into the bathroom until you are comfortable leaving him outside or sending him into the men's room alone.

5
5 30

i can say one thing my son is just 4 and i wouldnt care who looks at me i will bring him into any toilet any where untill he is at d age dat he can stand up 4 himself wheather dats 4 or 40 hes my son and any mother would say d would die rather den late sum sicko do anything 2 der child and ders not a hope he would b left standing outside till im finished !!!

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0 18

I will take my son into the ladies room until he is bigger, taller, stronger and completely aware of the fact that there are disgusting, unimaginable, atrocious people in the world. Until then, I dare anyone to tell me I can't!!!

4
8 17

My son if 5 now, and has complained several times about having to come with me to the women's restroom. He can complain until he is blue in the face - he is not going alone to the men's! There are some serious creeps in this world, and you NEVER KNOW where or when they will turn up. I'll be dam**d if my baby comes into contact with one of those weirdos. Until I am confident that he is old enough to understand exactly how dangerous these freaks are, and he is old enough to beat the crud out of anyone who tries anything... he can deal with it and come with me.

4
0 14

Well said!!

5 1

I think that if you bring your son into the stall with you, it shouldn't matter what his age is. It's more of at what age are you still comfortable with him being in there with you. My son is going to be six and he always goes into the bathroom with me. I have three daughters and he is my only son so he doesn't have an older brother to go with him into the men's restroom and my husband works a lot and rarely goes to places like the mall, etc. with us. The only time I let him go in is if its not busy and I stand right outside of the door. This is usually at a restroom that is meant for only one person at a time. Most places we've been to like the pool recommend that they use the appropriate bathroom/dressing room once they've turned 6 years old. I can see where they are coming from but I think that the parents should make the decision based on their own child.

4
16 0

I've never seen a pool area that limited the age at 6...but if I did I'd still bring him in regardless, even if I had to throw a towel over his head. And if he's older and needs to change we'd do the parking lot towel trick like us girls did at the beach. I would be even LESS likely to let my son get undressed by himself in a pool area bathroom.

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3 51

My boys are 6 and almost 5 and if I'm out with them alone, I still take them in with me. I don't think there is a "magical age" when a boy shouldn't be in the women's restroom. It's more a matter of maturity and when they reach an age when they are aware of potential dangers and know what to do in situations like that.
I stand in front of their stall unless I also need to go and then we all go together in the handicap stall. My oldest has Asperger's so he doesn't understand social etiquette very well and has little self awareness. So, I don't have confidence that he would stay by my stall if he finished before me or that he has the maturity yet to go on his own (this is not an issue at school, however, since all the boys go in together. They are good about telling the teacher if something is wrong). If there is a family restroom available, we use that and if their daddy is with us, he takes them. Otherwise, the women will just have to stare and live with it. My children's safety is more important to me than their dirty looks.

4
0 33

I have a 6 year old son and I bring him in the washroom with me to keep him safe from creeps and to make sure the toilet is clean for him to sit on. I dont have a problem with bringing him in my stall I want to make sure he totally safe!!!! I find sometimes the womens washroom is just as dirty as the mens, and I dont want my little guy to sit on a nasty toilet. Its totally up to us moms to advocate for our children in everyway possible and we cant falter because someone disagrees or says something about you taking your son in to the womens washroom.

3
3 14

It's UNBELIEVABLE how many women have issues with a little boy being in the women's restroom. I actually got into an argument with a woman at the Y because she thought my 6 yr old son and a friend's 5 yr old son..were looking at her 2 yr old daughter and they shouldn't be in the changing area. Neither boy could care less or had ANY interest in seeing her 2 yr old changing. I am not sure what she expected us to do with our kids while we were changing to go into the pool...send them into the men's changing area?? How many perverts have they caught at the Y?? Get over it ladies...If you are so worried about something...change at home!!! It's unbelievable that you think a child wants to see you naked!! If you are in the restroom...shut the door. Seems pretty simple. I think women that have boys see things a lot differently sometimes than women who have girls. I am not giving a pervert access to my child so deal with it.

3
0 0

Kasey, I respectfully suggest that many people feel the same way about your son in the men's room. "Get over it, Lady. It's unbelievable that you think some guy wants to see your child use the restroom." Those are your words, but applied the other way. I would suggest that someone who is clearly very concerned about "perverts" in a restroom might be a little more sensitive to other people not wanting boys around while their little girls are changing. I absolutely respect your point of view, I'm just suggesting that you grant other moms the same right to feel uncomfortable.

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0 13

Safety First, women who have a problem with a child in a women's restroom need to get over themselves. He is there to use the facilities or waiting on his mother, not there to look at them.When he was an older child, I would clear the restroom first. and wait at the door. Nobody ever had a problem with it. If they did, they never said anything about it.

3
15 7

As the Mom of 2 little girls I feel the need to speak up here. If your son has hit about the age of puberty (11-12) he no longer belongs in a women's restroom. Not all boys can be trusted and I don't want my little girls exposed to them going to the bathroom. It's simply inappropriate. They were born male, if you want to bring an adolescent into a womens restroom it had better be an adolescent girl. I am one of those Mom's who WILL go to management and complain. And they will ask you to take your older son out of the women's room.

3
0 1

Thank you I thought no one would speak up for little girls...they have a right to privacy and a 12 year old boy in the ladies room is not right for grown women to have to encounter much less a little girl-if you are concerned about your son then go in the mens room with him it amounts to the same thing

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1 7

As a mother of a four year old and a victim of rape in a bathroom, I'm not sure I'll ever be comfortable. I would have no problem whatsoever having my son at age 12 waiting for me. And I'm definitely not afraid of bursting in any bathroom if need be. If it's not a one stall bathroom, he'll be tagging along or vice versa for quite a while.

3
16 0

Well I have no idea why this is even an issue- what are they seeing in the women's bathroom that they shouldn't? It's not like there's no doors or we're peeing at a wall like the guys. I don't have a son, but I wouldn't let my daughter go to the potty by herself until she's in high school, why should boys be different? Yeah it might be a little awkward to have a 12 year old in the women's bathroom but I'd say better safe than sorry. But I guess I would have to stop once he got too embarrassed to go in...but I won't be teaching him that it's wrong to go in.

3
7 12

My son is 5 and most times i bring him in with me, but sometimes he wants to go in the mens and I may or may not let him. I was in a restroom with my daughter who is 8 and a boy who was about the same age walked in, I felt embarassed for her.

3
16 0

And you're embarrassment, I'm sure was noticed by your daughter! That is not something that should be an embarrassment, she's fully clothed and there are doors. Would you rather read the newspaper and find out something bad happened to that little boy and have to explain THAT to your daughter? Instead of being embarrassed for her you should have explained that his mother wants him to be safe so he's using the women's bathroom.

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146 39

My son is four and a half years old, He still goes into the ladies room with me, depending on where we are and how crowded it is we even share a stall sometimes. I just have him face the door so he's not actually seeing anything. Recently we were at a toysrus and the ladies room line was extremely long and he couldn't hold it so I let him go into the men's room alone, I stood outside the door the whole time nervous, hoping he could do it, and then I heard him calling for me to come help him with something but I had no idea what. I told him to hang on and I looked for a dad to go in and see what was going on. Turns out he just couldn't reach the soap, but I realized he just wasn't ready to go by himself. I also worry alot about who may be in the bathroom when my son is in there so unless my husband is with us our son will continue to go into the ladies room with for quite awhile I think. I figure it's not hurting anyone cause there are doors so he's not gonna see anything and I have never encountered anyone who had a problem with bringing him with me.

3
16 0

I don't think I would EVER leave my 4 year old son in the bathroom to find his dad! I would just walk to the door...announce I'm going in and do it. It's not like most men are shy and if it's between their shyness or my son- there's no competition.

10 30

I have three boys 8, 6 and 4. When we are with their daddy, he takes them. I always take the 4 year old in with me when we are without his father. I rarely take my children shopping, etc. but if I did they all three would go in with me. I would have them wait outside the stall. I would never send any of my boys to a mens bathroom alone.

3
16 0

Wow how sad for your kids! I wouldn't go shopping without my kids! It's something that we all look forward to even if it's a little more trouble than going alone. Plus I get to start teaching them about money and nutrition along the way...and they get to start picking healthier choices themselves.

0 1

My eldest son was 9yrs old (at the time) and came into the womens restrooms with me as we were on our own shopping. My son was finished before me and was washing his hands at a sink when a lady made a comment to him (in a stern voice) - 'why are you in the ladies, you should be in the mens toilets, who are you with?'. My son is quite a sensitive boy and replied quietly, 'I am with my mum'. He was quite upset by this lady's remark. He told me when I was washing my hands and I was furious! I asked him to show me who the lady was, but she had disapeared out of the restroom. I tried to follow her, but she had gone. I would have explained to her that he was with me and that i was not comfortable with him going into the mens toilets on his own!!!!!!! I was not the least bit happy with this lady for making him feel uncomfortable!!!!! Obviously she did not have any sons!!!!

2
0 1

My sons are now 10yrs and 8yrs and if out together they will go to the mens restrooms TOGETHER, if I have one on their own they will come in with me!!! I don't care what people think, I am looking after MY sons and I know that they will be safe!!!!!!!!!

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0 20

I think the times that we live in now there isn't that many stares in the women's bathroom to see an 8, 9 or 10 yo boy standing there waiting for his mother. I think they'd rather see other children safe in the womens room than in the clutches of a possible sexual predator. The only time my son uses a male restroom is when it's only a one room male restroom, and I'm outside waiting for him. Or he will use the male restroom only when my husband is with us. And even though he's eight and puts up a fight about using the women's room with his mother, he is given the option of either women's room or no room and hold it until you get home.

2
0 4

Wow...what a great discussion! My son is 8 and will sometimes go alone (if not a busy place) but will mostly come with me. I worry more about my 5 year old daughter. My husband and I had a discussion about that once. When he has her alone with him, what does he do with her when HE needs to use the bathroom. It's not an appropriate place for a girl, but I don't want him to leave her outside of the bathroom either!!

2
0 8

She goes to big girl pottie and maybe he asks a woman going in to keep an eye? She shoudn't have to see the men peeing in the wall.

16 32

I have two boys, one is 5 the other is 7 months. I am very worried when my son takes off to the bathroom that I have stop getlemen from going in to the room. Also While breastfeeding on a bench at walmart. A mother brought in six boys ages 14 to 5 years old and one girl age 18 month to 2 year for potty training. I thought those boys could be outside by themselves but if they are not responsible to be by themselves they are better to be with mom than a stranger.

2
12 34

Have you thought of allowing your son to use the ladies room without you? Professionals tell parents to teach a child to ask for help from women if in crisis, since women are less likely to be perpetrators. I never nursed in a department store or super store, and tanked him up before entering stores, restuarants, ... . Occassionally I'd need to nurse when traveling over an hour from home, and I could always use a lounge at department store or go back out to the car. Just an idea or two for you to think about. Your worry is your spiting senses that parents have for a reason. Good luck Holly!!

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13 6

My son is almost 4 and I never even thought of not bringing him with me. There's no reason for him to go by himself in the mans bathroom and very good reasons to keep them with u.I would say round 10 would b a good time to let him go in the bathroom by himself though even then I would b freaked out bout nt seeing my baby :)

2
0 0

Both my boys are 9 and 7 they have swimming every tuesaday night! They don't like going in the family/school changing rooms as there are no cubicles! I take both of mine into the ladies with me, and they both get changed in cubicles! My eldest is Adhd so it will be a while before he is able to go in lens changing rooms on his own!!

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25 37

My son goes to by the restroom by himself SOMETIMES and he is 7. It depends on where we are and both of our comfort levels. When he does I prop the door open with my foot and we talk the whole time. That way I know he is safe and he feels like a big boy. The other men in the bathroom may not like it but so far I haven't had anyone complain(most of them leave smiling because they think its cute).

1
0 24

I do the same thing, my son is 9. Once I yelled in b/c he stop talking and a man walked out trying not to laughing and told me my son was single handedly keeping the hoard of soap bubbles at bay, so he went back in and got him for me. He must have been a Dad. But if I don't feel comfortable with the place (busy or large venue) he most certainly will go in the women's with me.

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