Why did you decide to adopt?

28  Answers

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I don’t have a simple answer. After having two biological sons, my husband and I discussed adoption as a way to continue to build our family. We liked the idea of helping a child who needed a family. We gravitated toward international adoption since our heritage is multicultural – he was born and raised in Greece and I was born in the US raised by Dutch parents. However, life intervened with a serious illness, loss of job, a cross country move and a medical scare. During those times, our focus was survival and our sons. But the thoughts of adoption remained a consistent. At one point I asked myself, “If we don’t pursue adoption and try to get our little girl, will I regret this later?" As I reflected, I fast-forwarded to my later life. I imagined my boys grown with their own families. I imagined thinking back to this time and this decision. I felt the searing sting of regret when I contemplated the hole in my heart where, our third child, was supposed to be. I had my answer.

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After a failed fertility cycle (while we were living in the Middle East) and further fertility complications, we eventually realized that being parents was more important to us than being pregnant. It took four years from the original diagnosis to get to that point.

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I have wanted to adopt since I was a child. I didn't ever think I would have biological children. Here I am all these years later with three bio children who I love with all of my heart. I never gave up that dream of adopting a child. I am finally about to have my dream come true!

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Our family has two homegrown kids. We thought that two was enough, but when we began to really understand the orphan crisis and God's call on our lives to care for orphans, we thought ,"Why not adopt!"

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Hello you all.. No I am not a mom but a Dad that is if all works out right in our life to adopt. We standing still and do not know what or where to go no more. all we can say is that we want a child in our life.

Than is why it is nice to read and see there is 100000 of people out there and we are not a lone no more...

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My husband and I were foster parents for a couple of years to help children. Two of the children became available for adoption. We were asked by their social worker if we would be willing to adopt them. How could we say no? We adopted the boys on Dec. 18, 2013.

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I must have been asked this question a gazillion times since that time, at age 60, i took on the care and nurturing of my now 7-year-old Yaj, who was aged 2 then, a hapless victim of domestic violence. Frankly I do not know the answer. I have two adult sons, with three children between them. I was set to retire from my 29-year dalliance with a most fulfilling career in the media. I had visions of shuttling between my home in Asia and my son's in Georgia, USA, and catching up with my friends from high school and college, rereading the classics, and just frittering the time away doing stuff that used to get in the way between me and my horrific deadlines.

Then Yaj popped up and my life hasn't been the same. Or has it remained the way it's been for decades now? An old employer quickly snatched me from the jaws of retirement and I readily accepted because I have a child to love, care for, put through school all over again, and be responsible for. And other offers have been pouring in for special projects, as if the Universe is telling me: Trust me, I've got you covered, just do what you have to do.

So why did I decide to adopt? I didn't. It was Yaj who adopted me and hand in hand we embarked on this unique journey--a sixty-year-old mothering veteran and a two-year-old wonder boy. I trust in the Lord, in the Universal Scheme of Things, that Yaj and I will be together for as long as he needs me--not a minute more, not a minute less.

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Like a lot of couples, my husband and I talked seriously about adoption in the early days of our marriage and hoped to raise both adopted and non-adopted children. When it became obvious a few years later that there would be some obstacles in our fertility, it was an easy decision for us to start our family through adoption. Although I am not particularly grateful for my sub-fertility, I am in some way glad for it, because I don't know if we would have had the courage to actually adopt without it. I often feel that I straddle two camps in the adoptive parent world. One foot is in the first-choice adopter camp as we opted to bypass the whole fertility question and jump right into adoption. The other foot is in the world of infertility as I've grappled with the limitations of my body and the loss of reproductive control.

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After having two biological boys we decided we would love to add to our family through adoption. Our first daughter was born in Ethiopia and joined our family at age 4 in 2008. Our second daughter was born in Uganda and joined our family at age 3 in 2011.We are a happy, complete and busy family of 6!

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Unlike a lot of women, I did not dream of being a mother from a young age...in fact, I always assumed I would never get married or have children. Then, the year I turned 39, I met a man and very quickly became engaged and started planning to have kids with him. On some level, I think my biological clock was ticking, even though I couldn't really hear it.

Before the year was out, however, I discovered that my fiance was an alcoholic and an addict. I called off the wedding and eventually broke off all contact with him. After I came to some closure about the whole situation, I realized that I still wanted to be a mother even though I was no longer going to get married.

I started out thinking I would try to get pregnant on my own, but after doing some research and realizing that it would involve a whole lot of medical procedures and wouldn't neccesarily even result in a baby, I decided to pursue adoption.

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Hey, Thanks for your story. I'm single and very keen to adopt a baby. Have been thinking about it for years and very frequently the past few months. After having spoken to several friends and family I heard about RAD in adopted children. Do u have knowledge of this, I have heard more positive adoption stories than negative but the possibility is scary. Look forward to your views. D

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My answer isn't noble or saint-like or about saving a child or any of the other things some think about adoptive parents. My reasons were purely selfish -- I wanted a child.

I was single, approaching 40 and neither marriage nor a baby daddy was on the horizon! I didn't feel a deep need to experience pregnancy or pass on my genetic code, so adoption seemed the obvious answer.

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My husband, Kurt, and I have 2 biological daughters. Having grown up in a family formed by adoption and birth, I liked the thought of raising a family formed the same way. I always thought that at some point we would add to our family through adoption. One Sunday at church, we had missionaries from Kenya visiting. They run an orphanage, most of the children are there as a result of the AIDS pandemic. As they shared, they showed a video. As I watched, my heart started to pound in my chest. I grabbed Kurt's arm and whispered to him that I was sure we were supposed to adopt a child from Africa. He, of course, thought I might be losing my mind, as our girls were teenagers at the time (we were in the home stretch!). Thankfully Kurt trusted my instinct and eventually we both believed that our third child was waiting for us in Ethiopia. After our son Mikias was home for 2 years, we returned to adopt our son, Jemberu.

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Adoption wasn't as much a decision, as a path I was on since as long as I can remember. If I could do it over again, I would choose the same path over and over again--because adoption offers you so many opportunities to grow in addition to all the ways parenting in it's own right transforms you. Transracial parenting then turns you inside and underneath. If you land on your head, you are doing your best! I was also so fortunate to be invited into an open adoption--another powerful opportunity to expand. All this and more is what you read and muse about with us over at Mama C and the Boys

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My father and father-in-law are both adopted. It has always been a part of my life. I always knew that adoption would be one of the ways we would grow our family. I had friends in foster care, and knew how vital it would be to become the kind of family that a waiting child needed most.

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Early in our marriage we lived on the farm of some friends while our house was being built. Living there, we first witnessed the beauty of a blended family -- which allured us into the notion of adoption.

They adopted a child from Bulgaria when she was 18 months, and another daughter from Russia when she was eight. And God used our window into the lives of this family-of-seven (now eight) to give us a vision for adoption. Their children who had been adopted molded into their fold, no different than their biological children. Love was messy, but it was clearly fun.

We said "one day, Lord" like so many who assumed they would conceive the day after they decided to start "trying."

Years later, we realized His first-best plan for us was adoption, and once the possibility that it might be *now* crossed our minds, we didn't look back.

And after adopting our first two from Ethiopia, we were sold on the notion that giving fatherless children a family might just be our life-calling.

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As Christians my husband and I had been studying what the Bible has to say about caring for orphans and widows. Obviously adoption is just one way that people can do that and is not necessarily right for everyone. As we continued to pray about what our role might be, God really moved our hearts toward adoption. Honestly it was a bit of a surprise as we had thought our family was "done". But God just opened our hearts and suddenly our family felt incomplete and we knew that we wanted to adopt. We had good friends who started the adoption process a few months before us and so we were able to watch the process and ask lots of questions. We hadn't decided where we were going to adopt from until God led us to our two kids who were on a waiting child's list. That's when we started the process to adopt them from Ethiopia.

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At age 3o, I knew that at age 35 I would be ready to start a family, alone or in partnership. When that time came, and I was not in relationship, I walked into the adoption agency for an informational meeting. The process was unbelievably easy for me, from the moment I had made my mind up to commit to being a parent, a single parent, an adoptive parent. In my heart I had always known that adoption was a path I was going to be part of on some level. As a single parent you have a few options--adoption or donor assisted conception. I became a parent through both methods. Adoption is parenting +adoptive parenting. They are not, in my opinion one in the same. Before going into it, I had no idea how much deeper this layer would take me in my parenting. Add transracial adoption and you are entering into yet another world of learning, and transformation in my experience.

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I had always been interested in the idea of adoption. My husband and I traveled quite a bit in Asia and realized many Asian children were being adopted by white American Families. His experience as an Asian growing up in a mostly White community led us to conclude it would be preferable for an Asian child to grow up in a family with Asian relatives and at least one Asian parent who could help them make sense of the experience of growing up as a minority in the US. We also have some possibly hereditary health issues in our genetic pool that might make life difficult for any biological children.



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We wanted children. We came to adoption through infertility. I had had several miscarriages, and a cancer diagnosis.

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Because it's biblical, beautiful and a blessing.

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My husband and I have spent a lot of time talking about how we would grow our family and both realized we wanted to do so through adoption. The simple answer is that we know that there are children in need of parents, and we know we are capable of not just providing for a child, but loving a child with our whole hearts, even if that child is not our own flesh and blood. We also know that God calls all of us to care for orphans and that adoption is seen throughout the Bible. Though it is our choice to adopt, we feel strongly it is Gods calling for us as well.

Once we decided to adopt we then had to decide how. We considered every option and finally chose to pursue an international adoption from Taiwan mainly because of the ministry of His Hands Taiwan. They exist to provide care and support to women in crisis pregnancy and seek first to offer support for the women to raise their child themselves. When this is not possible, they work to facilitate adoption.

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In all honesty, I can't remember a time when I didn't want to adopt. Growing up, one of my parent's closest friends had adopted, so it was just something I had always known about and expected to do. Adopting as a single person wasn't necessarily always in my life plan, but adopting was.

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We struggled with infertility for many years. 5 years into the journey we were blessed with our daughter. Though we tried for more bio babies after she was born, but it wasn't meant to be. After a devastating miscarriage in 2002, we closed the door forever on having more children join our family through traditional means. And so began our journey. We could never in a million years have forseen when we started where the journey would really take us. Highlights of our 5 year long journey to adopt (yes, another 5 years beyond infertilty) can be found at http://goldtorefine.blogspot.com/p/our-adoption-journey.html.

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I have always wanted to be a mother. It has been my main goal in life since I was a toddler! I met my Mr. Wonderful and he had never felt an urge to parent. He told me he didn't want babies - ever! I was crazy in love and so young. I told him I was willing to make that sacrifice for him. In all honesty, I was certain he'd change his mind. We got married and years started going by. He didn't change his mind about babies, but started to open up to the idea of older child adoption. He liked the idea of parenting a child who was already here, needing a home, stability and love. I realized I just wanted to be a mother. How I got there didn't matter to me. We decided to pursue adoption in December of 2008 and started the process in May 2009. Our daughter came to us as a straight interstate adoptive placement from the foster care system in May 2010 at age 9. The adoption was finalized six months later. Being her mother is what I was meant to do!

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My husband and I first talked about adopting on a mission trip to Tanzania while we were still dating. We started talking about kids after being married 2 years and decided we wanted to start our family through adoption.

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My husband and I had talked about adoption as a way of growing our family early on in our marriage. In 2004 after sitting in a church service listening to a sermon by Erwin McManus, both of us felt sure that God was leading us to step out in faith and adopt. Without the funds or really even the know how of where to begin we started the process to adopt. We felt led to Russia and the plight of orphans in Eastern Europe. After a year of waiting we brought home two beautiful children ages 8 and 6 years old from a small little town in Siberia Russia. Two years later we adopted a 2 year old from right here in the US. Just a year later we brought home another son. And most recently we adopted our son orginally from the Ukraine adopted through a disruption. Our passion continues as we help other families through the process of adoption, raising funds, and supporting them after . My blog has become a ministry to raise awareness about adoption and help those who have a desire to do so.

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I have wanted to adopt since I was a child. I never gave up that dream of adopting a child. I am finally about to have my dream come true!

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