quilts for other people

Shelley - posted on 05/10/2009 ( 8 moms have responded )

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I have made some baby blankets for several people. I feel like it is just another gift to them. I spent alot of time and it doesn't seem like they even like it that much. I have gotten to the point that I think what is the point. Any suggestions on how to deal with this.? I really love to quilt ,but I make them for people that is how I get my is ideas and it is hard for me to make them just because.

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Vicki - posted on 05/13/2009

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ah, the unappreciated quilt. I could probably write a book about this. One family member used a table runner out of batiks as a dog blanket... sigh. The only thing worse is the demanding request. Honestly, they come from people who have no idea that what they are requesting is inconvenient, difficult, or downright strange! I now have a new policy. If you want me to make a quilt for you I will make one for free but, you have ABSOLUTELY no say in what I make for you, none whatsoever! If you want something specific, I will charge you for it. And I mean, what it really costs me, not what you think it should because you've seen some cheap material, underpaid labor, mass produced thing in a discount store somewhere. This has brought a lot of sanity into my life. Now I can enjoy the process of gift giving again. And, it is a gift. A gift for the recipient to either cherish or not. Sometimes, they just don't. I remember the scrap quilt (absolutely gorgeous) I spent 3 months making with my sister-in-law as a gift for her brother, only to have his wife use it, backing side up, as a couch cover! Never give these type of people a gift again. They won't appreciate it. Get them a gift card. If you have spent a lot of time on it (and I mean to the point it will appraise for a lot), get that appraisal and give it with the quilt. People are usually quite sobered to realize how much a quilt is really worth. Appraisals usually run $20-$40 and your local quilt shop can usually put you in touch with someone who does them. This is also necessary for insurance so they don't try to value your quilts at $10 for a household blanket (not kidding, ask your insurance agent about this). But some people are just not good gift receivers. Remember, you make the quilt for the baby to love. To keep him warm and safe and to be hauled around until it's been so loved that all that is left is unrecognizable. The best quilt I ever made is the one my youngest wore completely out! Keep making them for the babies and try not to let the mothers ruin the joy of it for you.

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Cas - posted on 01/20/2010

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It's really sad but unfortunately some people don't 'get' handmade gifts. Some even think you are trying to get out of spending money. If only they knew how much fabric costs, let alone the hours it takes to create that quality something. I recently had a friend comment on a toy I made for my best friend's baby, she said it was ugly and stupid and then proceeded to tell me and others this fact. I got really upset and almost let it stop me sewing. Since then I've decided not to let it bother me, and that only people I know will appreciate handmade gifts will get them. I guess some people just don't understand the joy that comes from creating.

Ries - posted on 01/19/2010

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i seem to forget what i have made people, until I see it and go... "oh yeah" I did that... I forgot! so send them out with love, that advice above is good.. and also maybe ask before making them, "hey would you like a handmade gift for your baby?" before you start, followed with, "what nursery colours would you like?".. then ensure that you are making them for the right reasons and not just to be liked more.. people will always dissappiont you if you are looking for approval this way. I also put "handmade with love for....." on the back of what I give away. and a date(if needed). Loved the suggestion about making for sick babies, I think some bereaved families recieve hand made stuff for babies to be buried in, which is comforting. unsuaal for you to make, but comforting. use your good heart and hands, and if something gets discarded, pray it turns up in the right hands!

Gina - posted on 01/16/2010

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I'm sorry you've run into this problem; I guess it goes with the territory. Some people are just like that....I have made quilts for my children, grandchildren, family, friends, and clients. Overall, they have been very gracious and appreciative. But, I'm sorry to say that everytime I give a quilt away, I think of the one son that seemed unappreciative of all the effort and love I put into his quilt. I guess you just have to decide if you make and give away quilts because it makes you happy and you love doing it.

Let got of that "one" negative person, because perhaps if they knew they'd hurt our feelings, they might have at least "appeared" grateful.

Keep doing it only if it brings "you" joy, dear. It truly is a loving venture that 99.99 percent of the people appreciate. :)

Joyce - posted on 11/23/2009

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I know how you feel. My son and I made name panels for my in-laws for Christmas last year and they were all "hm. that's nice. what else did you get us." kind of attitude. We put a lot of thought into them to make sure they matched their lives and hobbies. It was disheartening to say the least. But the bright side is (yes there is one) I know not to put that much care into something for them again.
I also agree with the other posts.
I do make quilts just to make them because I make one of a kinds. I design my own patterns, as does my son, set them aside, and when I find that special recipient, I give the quilt to them. Usually it is someone not expecting it, it fits their favorite things (moose, noah's ark, etc.) and they truly appreciate it. You can tell this by their first reaction. If you get the "Oh, that's nice, what else did you make..." you know not to do it again. Don't give up or lose heart. There are more people who like your gifts than not.

Renee - posted on 11/07/2009

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I agree with everyone here - do not make qults for people who cannot appreciate them. I only offer to people who truly want one (WANT one) not some shallow person who wants to go pick out the most expensive fabrics but a truly homemade quilt for their child. People who appreciate don't care about designer fabrics they appreciate the time and energy it took to create it. I have had people look right at me and say when do I get my quilt and I really want to say when you can appreciate it but I don't, I bite my tongue and say I only have time to make so many quilts and my calendar is full right now sorry. You sound like you might like the Project Linus organization. They accept quilts and blankets for terminally ill children or children battling a life threatening disease in a hospital. Those families really appreciate the quilts. Take care.

Dawn - posted on 05/29/2009

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I only give gift quilts to people whom I know will appreciate it. Otherwise- I will have hurt feelings because of all the work and love that I put into the gift.

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When you give something like that.. set it free... never look back.. cherish that you made it with lovexxxx

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