Introductions!

Kimberly - posted on 06/26/2010 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I am a 27 year old mother of a beautiful baby boy. His biological father is a lazy useless man. In the nearly four years that I lived with him, he was unemployed at least half the time. I was working, sometimes two jobs to support us. I gained nearly $20,000 of debt while I was with him. Now, you may ask yourself, is she stupid? Well, I'd like to hope not, as I have a college education, but love makes you do stupid things...

Then, I found out I was pregnant. I was 17 weeks pregnant when I finally figured it out. Here's the kicker! My ex, according to his family and doctor, was not supposed to be able to father a child. While it took more than three years to get pregnant, it was certainly a surprise!

With this new information, I had a choice to make. In Canada, abortion is legal. Now I had to decide what was best for the baby I carried inside me. His father, I knew would never be a man and support his baby, let alone me. I had just been fired from my job two weeks before I discovered I was pregnant, and though I was looking and interviewing for a job, the prospect of finding one was not promising. Though it is discrimination not to hire a pregnant woman, I was beginning to show and I can't imagine anyone that would hire an employee for just a few months.

My ex on the other hand, had been unemployed for nearly ten months at the time, and I had no expectations that he would be able to find a job immediately. So my decision became to raise a child alone, or not have a child. While there were a great many thoughts that roamed through my head, abortion was not something I wanted to do.

With our eviction imminent, I sent him back across the country to live with his family. I moved in with my family. Yes, I lied to him to make him leave, telling him it would be okay and we'd all be together again. No, I did not intend to ever see him again.

My best friend was with me throughout the pregnancy, at the doctors office, labs, ultrasounds, everything. He wanted to be there. Though he knew the baby wasn't biologically his, he didn't care. He loved the baby and me anyway. No matter what I'd been through, that wouldn't change. I discussed the situation with him when it mattered, and he would have supported me no matter what I decided.

Now, I am glad I decided to keep the baby, because he is the light of my life, and he has the father he deserves :D

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6 Comments

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Diana - posted on 10/06/2010

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Hi everyone..My name is Diana I have a beautiful 4 year old daughter and I'm 24 years old. I was with my deadbeat ex for 7 years. He used me pretty much the whole time and I was dumb enough to fall for it. He abandoned me and my daughter in March and ever since he's been playing with my emotions and hardly seeing or supporting his daughter until I cut him off about a month ago.

Throughout the entire relationship it's been me fighting for us to stay together mainly because I didn't want my daughter to have a broken home and I truly loved him (love is blind).
I've always been the bread winner making money while he's unemployed. As soon as I lost my job in March he left and started a new life partying and being single meeting girls. While I was left with the stress of being unemployed and a single mom.

Thankfully I have a supportive family and I'm currently in nursing school (R.N) I moved to my mom's house and I rented out my condo.
He has a lousy job and gives me no child support. I could really care less because I handled my finances very well and I have savings and I'm also receiving unemployment.
Did I mention he has 3 other kids none of which he supports (again I know love is blind).
Life is hard right now being a single mom it get's kinda of lonely. I don't have many friends seeing as I gave my life to this man and my daughter. However this has made me stronger an I know what goes around comes around.
It pisses me off sometimes that while I struggle everyday being a single mom, I still miss him and I'm trying to get over him. He has moved on completely and is living the life going out and having fun with no worries or responsibilities.
It also hurts my feelings that he would treat my daughter this way. I've resigned myself to the fact that I'm a single mom and he just played me for the 7 years

Michelle - posted on 09/06/2010

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Hi everyone.. My name is Michelle Im a single mother of a three year old boy who is my world and I would do anything for him.. I would give him my last breath.. His bio dad is a dead beat.. he pays his child support but thats all he does.. he picks him up when its court ordered but when hes sick or hurt he wants nothing to do with anything.. but tell me you fucking deal with it.. I have a GREAT boyfriend who has two boys, Brad and Nate and I love them to death.. I have my son 24/7 and he has his two 5 days on 5 day off.. He has joint coustody with his ex wife which we get along really good.. Can't say the same about my ex and his gf.. I don't take shit from anyone.. you have something to say, say it to my face cause I will come to your face and ask you but most likely they will run..
Im from Indianapolis AKA Naptown.. and I will beat some ass.. I came from a big city to a small as town which I hate 100%.. but its all good.. One day I will be able to go back home.. Just have to wait till that time..

Nicole - posted on 07/30/2010

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Hi im nikki and i have a 10 month old little boy who was born sept 10th im a single mom and my sons father has seen him once sense the day he was born. He didnt sign the birth cirtificate so he has no rights to my son and i do not see any child support as of right now. I am awaiting a court date for all of that now. I just recently moved away from my home state of Massachusetts to live with my mom in Arkansas so that she can help me with my son because being a full time single mom is a hard job.

Chrissy - posted on 07/30/2010

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Hi all! My name is Chrissy, I have 3 daughters, 11, 9 and 6 and my boyfriend has a son, 3, who I love like my own. I have been with my boyfriend for 2 1/2 yrs now. He has done so well adjusting to having gone from just him and his son every other weekend to having 3 full time kids and taking care of us all. He is one of the great men that no longer exist! My girls go and spend time with their bio dad every other weekend and 6 weeks during the summer, which I don't mind at all.....considering that I am a a SAHM and I am with them 24/7, I love my kids, but love my "me" time LOL. I have had struggles in my life, but they have made me stronger and made me who I am today! I don't take bs from no one, I tend to speak my mind, but bite my tongue when my kids are involved. (kids will repeat EVERYTHING you say LOL) I believe in karma...what comes around goes around! I teach my kids to respect others and to treat others as you want to be treated.

Olivia - posted on 07/25/2010

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hi l'm Olivia, l'm 22 and i have the most amazing beautiful 7 month old baby boy Thomas and he is my world, but yes he has a deadbeat dad also. Now i didint find out i was pregant until i was 27 weeks cuz i had the implonont in and had no morning sickness and wasnt showing i got lucky. when i found out thomas dad was living in adaliade with a gf and well he was never around for anything came home when i had only a few weeks to go came to the last ultrasound but of course had to go se his gf and missed the tour and all the important information, stupidly i let him talk me into us all being a family right before thomas was born the day before actually. So his father was there when thomas was born and for about 3 weeks and then left us for yet a totally diff woman in sa!! I met my now partner when thomas was 2 onths old and he has been around ever since and he is amazing. Well when thomas was six months his father decides to come home and wants to see him while bringing his new gf which he had been sleeping with the whole time we were togethor and her daughter, now she drove her car down to vic they stayed a total of five days and then she drove her car back to sa and he drove hbis even though he knew thomas had an appoitment with the nerosurgent about his cist on the brain he choose to go back in a seperate car cuz she was ready to go home!!!!! he pays a total of six dollars and fifty cents of childsupport cuz he doesnt work and never has, i just want him out of our lives forever cuz i know he doing drugs and i wont let hoim near my son anymore

Sheila - posted on 07/18/2010

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Hello, I'm Sheila and I have 2 kiddos to keep me busy. My little guy was born March 5, and I have to say my bf is still wonderful. We have been together for 5 years now. We started dating when my daughter was about 8 mos old. She, is the one with the deadbeat father.
I was stupid enough to marry the guy (at least I didn't spend a lot on the wedding, though). On our wedding night he got pissed and flipped the bed over on top of me...now you may ask again, is she stupid? Nope, got a bachelors and a masters. He continued to be an abusive bastard, and I was definately not smart when I got pregnant. I ended up leaving him when my daughter was 3 weeks old, and got legally separated when she was about 6 months old. When she was 7 months old I got my restraining order. I started dating my bf when she was 8 months old, and let me tell you, it was stressful. Poor guy had a lot of baggage to deal with, but he loves my daughter as much as he loves our son, and considers her his.
He bio dad, on the other hand, was allowed to see her at daycare every day, but he has chosen not to see her since just after her 1st birthday, when he hadn't seen her in so long that he went up to the WRONG CHILD!!!!!
I get some child support, but not all. I only get what the government garnishes from him, or awards me in separate claims. However, I would gladly give up all the money to keep him away from her! She doesn't need him, she has a father who loves her and cares for her and would never hurt her. Makes me love him even more!