Boys doing chores.

Susanne - posted on 03/01/2010

I think its a good idea to try to pick chores they dont hate completely my oldest son will only do the dishes if i absolutely insist he hates doing it but if i ask him to vacuum or clean his room he will just go do it no probs. My nine year old will quite happily walk the dogs but wont clean his room lol. Makes life a lot easier if you pick things they dont hate doing.

Katie - posted on 02/21/2010

I have two little boys ages 9 and & years old I use a marble system they love marbles and they enjoy doing it as well I have a lost of chores they can do from running the sweeper to the dishes to putting away their cloths ,( their rooms are something they are expected to keep clean with out question and not included in the chore list) if they do a chore they get to put a marble in a jar after 10 marbles, they earn 10 dollarsr they can save it or spend its up to them, if they don't do a chore they don't get a marble, they find out they like the money. every Friday they look in to the jar and get paid for the marbles they have , they only get paid if they have 10 or more marbles so far it have worked for me

Jodi - posted on 02/19/2010

dont give up keep trying

Holly - posted on 07/04/2009

yes it is to much to ask for help around the house !HI my name is HOLLY and i have 3

boys shaun 9,Alex 6,Evan 22 months

is what i do when there are toys on the floor i pick them up and i put them in my room so they cant get to them if they ask i say well what are you going to do for mom ?i say make a chor chart some my 9ys old helps with putting dinner away and wiping off the table helping with that

,the 6 yr old feeds and waters the cat and dog and the 22 month has to help by putting stuff in the refridarator if they wine about it they do extra also the 9 yr old has to help take the trash out daily and out to the road ,and bring in the trash can after they come ,6yr old has to help with sweeping and cleening bath room !!!!How old are your children i can proubly help more if i knew how old ! let me know im looking forward to help u find some chores

Kelly - posted on 06/02/2009

Same problem hear, I get better help with my 7 yr old than with my 4 yr old, he will tell you anything to try and get out of picking up after himself, and it drives me crazy. I have a chore chart, it is simple things like brushing teeth, making bed, picking up their toys etc then at the end of the week for whatever stickers there earned there is a certain reward. The rewards are small - like getting to pick the next box of popsicles out at the store(that also helps there attention when I take them, they have something to look forward to) or getting a movie at the video store, or a trip to the park etc. I do not set high expectations but I do make sure that I encourage them. This has worked really well. I also make sure that I do not take away points or stickers for what they already earned, that to me only discourages them for wanting to do anything. I make sure that if they misbehave they have some other type of punishment other than taking something that they already earned away.

Cynthia - posted on 05/26/2009

Let's just say that boys can do anything girls can do. Of course when they see dad making dinner or washing the dishes this helps reinforce the idea that everyone in the family participates. My 8 year old has been making his bed since he's 5. He sets the table, puts the dishes in the dishwasher, does his own laundry, dusts, vacuumes, feeds the dog, picks up branches in the yard, etc... And why not? He's a part of this family. We all know the story of the little red hen. "All the children who would like to enjoy mom's good cooking will make sure their rooms are clean by dinner time!" Works like a charm. I didn't say he's always excited and willing. We have pouting, temper tantrums, but in our house nothing happens until the chores are done. So when he's finished with the tantrum AND his chores he can then go out to play, read or whatever.

Amy - posted on 05/23/2009

Those are the same kind of chores we started out with and I just remind them that they live in the house also, we are family and we do things together INCLUDING chores (I sometimes throw in there that my full time job that I go to everyday is not being a maid!) If they can't do chores as requested then that week we have less "Family Fun Time". I remind them that I didnt eat off of their plate and I also didnt wear their clothes. It also helped when I wrote out a list of all the chores that dad and I do around the house and visually showed them that their list was shorter than ours and that seemed to sink in as well.

Mandy - posted on 05/22/2009

Give them a set amount of time to do something, and something specific to do after it's done. "You have 15 minutes to pick up these toys, and then we are going to go swing on the swingset." Remind them often so they get going on it. I also read advice from another mom today to let them have choices, but make sure those choices all involve them doing what you expect them to. "Do you want to take out the garbage before you mow the lawn or after?" Gives them some independence, but shows them responsibility at the same time.

Cheryl - posted on 05/21/2009

I agree with the last poster, boys can do lots of housework - clean their rooms, take out garbage, set the table, prepare salads, fold laundry -many many helpful things around the house. Chores teach responsibility, remember you are training them to be good future husbands!

Vicki - posted on 05/18/2009

Hi Jini, personally I'd be asking them to do more, my 9 yr old does the washing (laundry), vacuums & attempts keeping his room clean, but I must admit, he likes to use the washer & dryer, although he does help fold, & he loves the vacuum,m maybe I just got lucky choosing chores using things he likes, Vicki, xxx

Michelle - posted on 05/10/2009

We like to set a timer and see how fast we can get the job done--beat the timer. This works for competitive boys. Also, we have played the "game" pick up 10 things, then 9, then 8, etc... until everything is picked up. A job chart works well, because then it is the "chart" telling them what to do--not just Mom. Rewards for items completed on the chart have been helpful. There should be some things that just need to be done and done for their own reward--not everything should get a monetary or other reward. This teaches a good lesson about real life as an adult. Consistency is the key! Don't let them get out of it by whining and fit throwing.

Shelly - posted on 05/07/2009

My son is six and I still have trouble sometimes. I have told him over and over that we all contribute in the family. I work outside the house, he has chores. Family does things to help each other out. It seems to have worked a lot better explaining than the yelling I used to do. Sometimes I still have to stand over top of him to make sure it gets done, but that is decreasing.

Stacie - posted on 03/25/2009

My friend told me about a good trick for getting kids to pick up their toys before bed and it works great with my 4 1/2 year old. We have instituted the "gobble bag." My son knows that whatever toys are left out after he goes to bed will go into the gobble bag and it will stay there for a week.  This works great. He rushes around in the evening putting toys away before bed. If it seems like he doesn't want to pick them up (for example if they aren't his favorite toys) then I remind him that one of these days I might decide to give the toys away instead of keeping them for the week. He knows that his best friend's mom has given a lot of toys away and that this is real, so he goes ahead and picks his toys up.

Another friend of mine told me of another trick that works great on the 4-5 year old crowd. Kids this age are very competitive and always want to win. So, to get him to brush his teeth or put on pajamas I just have to say, "I think I am going to put my pajamas on, and I am going to be the winner!"  It works for lots of things and it is amazing how quick he can get dressed in the morning, put shoes on, get ready for bed, etc. I don't know how long this trick will last, but I'm going to use it until it stops working. :)

Kristeen - posted on 03/08/2009

My boys are 9, 7 & 4 . We have the same issues, themeltdowns about how tired they are & how unfair it is (unfair?!?please!). I am definitely going totry Danell's video game ticket idea for my eldest 2, the little one may have to have wiggles dvd tickets though.

Kylee - posted on 03/02/2009

I had issues with my boys introducing chores aswell. At first they just wouldn't do anything and it was a non-stop argument so i started to take away their privliges. So the no playstation, Ds, tv, outside time annoyed them so they quickly changed thier mind. Also a little pocket money for finished chores helps too. But I stayed persistant and made sure that they did them. I sat down with them and together we made up chore charts and a list of reasonable chores for their ages. It is working well now. I made up the charts from this site, they can create their own.

Stephanie - posted on 02/22/2009

I am still going through this with my boys (11, 9, 7, 7).  But I had a turning point about a year ago with a dramatic action.  It was a day that had so much to do and I had a headache.  I needed my boys help that day.  I woke up before the boys and started on some very overdue yard work.  As the boys joined me and wanted breakfast I said we have about 20 minutes of work if everyone pitched in but that nobody was going to have breakfast until I was done.  It wasn't a threat.  I just wasn't going to stop when it could get finished in a short time.  Some of the boys helped and some of the boys played.  So, after I fixed a huge breakfast and everyone was seated at the table I gave everyone a plate full of yummy food.  The boys who helped got to begin to eat.  The boys that didn't help had to watch us eat like the watched us work.  I only did this for about 2-3 minutes before letting them eat, but I had so many apologies and hugs throughout that day.  It worked in that situation at that time and we had a discussion about helping when it is needed.  This wouldn't work for little ones, but it did work for my school aged boys.  Like I said, we still go through this, but on a different level.  They are more usually distracted from chores than refuse to do them all together.  Now we are working on focus.  Any suggestions?

Jennifer - posted on 02/19/2009

These are all great ideas. I'm definitely going to try these suggestions out. Thanks.

Jini - posted on 02/19/2009

Thanks, that was very helpful.

Danell - posted on 02/19/2009

I have Theodore do chores too. He still fights me , but I make it a requirement to do them on the same day of week before any play time. From books I have read or nanny shows, you could do charts so they can earn something after doing chores without whining (over a week, 10 days...) But they are still always required to do the chores, at same time of day or same day of week and so on. The whole point is to stop the throwing a fit and still get chore done. After you see improvement your expect them to always act better when they do the chores. Hope this helps!

Danell - posted on 02/19/2009

Hi Jini thanks for inviting me to this group. I have dealt with fits by giving my son tickets to play video games; each ticket is worth 1 hour of playing video games. He gets only a certain amount each week. He loses one if there is any whining, disrespect or disobeying us. Once he whines one ticket is taken away. He then stops and tries to act better so he does not lose another one. Done this for a few weeks, and there has been little whining.

Joni - posted on 02/18/2009

usually what i do is turn off everything except the radio, i normally do it right after supper when homework is done and it takes an hour-- everyone does something.. and it doesn't matter how big or small the chore is.. i do have to help sometimes.. but they love the feeling of accomplishment.

Jini - posted on 02/18/2009

Am I not going to get anymore replies on this one?

Jini - posted on 02/17/2009

Thank you Jamie!

Jamie - posted on 02/17/2009

I think with boys especially they test you to see if you will really make them do it. It may take a long time of letting them meltdown but stick with it. If you give in this teaches them how to win, meltdown. I have let my boys lay on the floor a cry for an hour about cleaning up but after they realized it didn't get them anywhere and they still had to do it, they start shortening the fight. Eventually they learn you mean business. You should set clear goals and consequences for them and stick to it. Make sure all caregivers stick to it, dad & GRANDMA!

Jennifer - posted on 02/16/2009

I'm waiting to hear what advice you get. I have the same problem with my two boys. They have no problem emptying their toy box during the day but when I tell them it's clean up time they have a meltdown. Suddenly they are far to tired to put anything away. They love to help me do "my" chores but just will not do "their" chores.