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I really need some help

Elizabeth - posted on 02/03/2011 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My 5 year old has been diagnosed with ADHD. The doctor said he wont step in and do anything until it starts to really interfere with his schooling and things like that. His father and I are going thru a nasty divorce and he doesnt hardly ever come around. The problem Im having is that D (the 5 year old) is yelling at me, screaming at me, raising his hand like he wants to hit me, telling me NO about everything or that he doesnt want to or have to (do whatever Im asking or telling him to do.) Ive tried time out, Ive tried putting his nose on the wall, Ive tried taking things away, Ive tried spanking. Nothing works. The last time I spanked him, he went to his room and was hugging a picture of his dad and crying and looked at me n said "Are you gonna hurt me?" when I walked in. I vowed that day to never spank him again. I dont know what to do anymore. I will not tolerate this behavior to continue! I need some help! Im going to get him into a counselor for all the crap hes gone thru with his dad leaving and all that, and hopefuly that will help, but what can I do until then?

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Tracy - posted on 04/27/2011

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I am kinda going through the same thing with my step son. Except he now acts this way with his dad also . He is 11 now and we had to start him on med for ADD. Please dont let this keep going try getting a second opption. Some doctors just dont like giving med for these dieases. I am not a paarent who whats their children on med but sometime you have to do what you do like. If you let him keep on with this behavior you will not be able to handle him by the time he is a teen.

Jennifer - posted on 02/07/2011

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Read The Explosive Child by Ross W Greene. My 4 1/2 yr old completely loses it with his tantrums and his telling us no over EVERYTHING of late, he kicks and hits and spits, it is exhausting. This book helps you look at his behavior in a different way and then teaches you a way to teach communication to him (and yourself). It is taking practice but I have seen some positive moments already.
My brother is ADHD (an adult now) and my parents went through a nasty divorce when we were children. My brother has suffered badly from the lack of a positive male role model and supporter in his life. My Mom tried, but... I would suggest you look into a church program or something like big brothers to find him a male mentor.
And above all else get him counsling!!! That is something my brother and I did not have and I suffered from lack of it and my brother definately did! That is always my number one advice to parents who are divorcing! The kids need an outlet for thier very confused feelings!
I hope things turn the corner and become more peaceful soon!

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