My 5 year old getting bullied at school - please help

Chay - posted on 02/13/2013

I know a lot of the posts are older but I am hoping that just by adding one more we can help another mom with a child getting bullied. My 5 year old son has been bullied since the beginning of school from getting bit, kicked, hit and even being kissed by another boy. Since my son is extremely shy and quiet it is very hard for him to open up. I called his teacher immediately regarding the first incident. The bullying continued and I realized after much communicating with my son that the teacher disregards the matter. So I called the asst principal hoping to work something out to solve the issues. We are now half way through the year and he is still being bullied by other boys. I picked my son up from school the other day and noticed something was bothering him. Another boy started kicking him and my son confessed to fighting back. His teacher wrote a letter home stating his behavior is inappropriate. Friends tell me just to go to the school board. I do not think its a good idea to do that. It won't solve the issues at hand. SO.. for my next step... I am trying to become an advocate at his school. By getting more involved, I will be able to keep a closer eye on him. After much research I have realized that many people don't notice the bully signs from kids at such a young age. These 5 yr old bullies are probably just mimicking their home lifestyle, which is heart breaking. My advice to other moms is to have an many heart to heart talks with your children especially at bedtime. That is when my son wants to tell me everything so he can stay up for just 5 more minutes. He falls asleep happy and wakes up a little more willing to go to school. Try to get involved with the school as much as you can. The more you support your child the more he/she will feel like they are not alone. I even shared stories with my son about when I was bullied. It helped. And one last thing, I also told my son that even if he gets in trouble at school for protecting himself, he will not get in trouble at home.

Devin - posted on 10/19/2012

Some of the advice will help me and some will not. I have a 5 year old son who tells me that kids are mean to him and bullies him. Me being a young parent I really don't know what to do and It hurt my heart to know that my son isn't comfortable at school.When he first started i use to tell him keep his hands to himself don't fight or talk back. But now since he tells me he gets bullied almost 3 day out of the week I tell him to hit only if they hit him. My son doesn't want to get in trouble at school so hes afraid to hit back. I went to his parent conference and the teacher told the parents to tell their children that they need to tell the kid to leave them alone and don't keep telling her. That didn't sit too well with me.

Just yesterday i picked my son up from school and I could tell that something was bothering him. He started crying saying that he doesn't want to go to school anymore because every one is always mean to him.

Drea - posted on 09/13/2012

Loved your advice. My son is 5 and he has been bullied by the same child 2 times in the last week leaving bruising and cuts. I spoke to the teacher and the principle but apparently “its excusable because kindergarten is the time when children learn social skills.” I’m very upset and I’m not sure what next steps to take besides tell him to defend himself. He is such a soft hearted child and he never gets in trouble at school but if defending himself lands him a red day at school I can’t be mad. I’m just very upset about the situation, it makes me cry.

Denise Janse Van - posted on 10/26/2010

I have a 5 year old son too and this is how i deal with things with him... Him and I have a very open relationship as i feel he needs to come to me if someone is hurting him or he is feeling down its so important for you child to know that if there is something that they are upset about that they might be too small to sort out that you are there to support them. What i did was I spoke to the teacher of the school to find out what was going on... My son saw that i spoke to the teacher and in that Had faith and was content in the fact that I reacted on what he had said and that i was there to " Back him up" if people where hurting him this has created a much closer bond for my son and I because he trusts me. if the teacher doesnt give you the answers you seek then ask for the parents of the bullys numbers and sort it out with them because no child deserves to be bullied once you speak to the parents im sure you will get at least a 5% idea of why the children are like that.. :-) and then perhaps speak to your son and explain to him that if these children come to him he must simply move away from them or call a adult that can seperate the situation... Extreme Measure... Get your little boy into Karate and teach him to Fight back a little bit and kick some ass LOL

Jennie - posted on 10/23/2010

I feel very strongly that it is important to talk to his teachers. You could talk to him and allow him some time to try and sort it out by him and if things don't improve tell him you will need to talk to his teachers.

Shona - posted on 10/18/2010

Speak to your teacher i had the sme prob with my son hes only five but looks like an 8 yrear old however when he goes to school one child in particular used to hit him and punch him i spoke to the teachers and they sorted it straight away the little boy is not allowed in the school however there is a non toleration for bullying in the school so it makes it better even see you can just talk to the parents

Dawn - posted on 03/31/2010

I would ask his teachers, but keep an open mind, b/c I know when my son was in k they tend to make it sound like a bigger thing than it actually is, and you feel just aweful for them! Good luck, hopefully it's not too bad =(

Jennifer - posted on 09/10/2009

I always tell my son never to start a fight, But if a kid pushes or hits him he can hit or push him back. Tell your son to take a stand, even if he gets in trouble once by the teachers for hitting back, I bet that kid whoever is bullying him will think twice about pushing him again in the future!

Natalya - posted on 08/09/2009

Talk to teacher: that is first what have to be done. Then put him to martial arts. Our boys do karate, learning discipline, self confidence and respect for every human being. Oh, by the way, no bully situation anymore!

Alissa - posted on 05/25/2009

Absolutely speak the school. I grew up being bullied and when I did tell my parents they blew it off as no big deal. Your child needs to know that you are his number one advocate and he can come to you for anything. On the flip side, he also knows that if I go to school on his behalf and he is in the wrong then there will be consequences. Good Luck..bullying is a completely different ball game then when I was a kid.

Jennifer - posted on 04/27/2009

It often helps the teacher when there are many parents up set about a situation. Usually administration is most interested in the side of the majority of parents, so often a bully continues bullying because no one stands up to him (or his parents). What ever you do keep an eye on it and never just let it go. Kids will be kids, but they deserve to be treated with respect and to learn how to treat others with respect, at any age.

Robyn - posted on 03/31/2009

thank you, his teacher is very good

Wendy - posted on 03/30/2009

you need to speak to the teacher about this or he will loose all his self confidence the teacher will help all you have to do is ask dont be afraid