Suggestions please

Michelle - posted on 01/13/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My son Andy is 3 1/2 and the birthday party invites are starting to roll in. In the past it was always really close friends that we went to their child's birthday party who were aware of his severe peanut allergy. But what do you do when his little classmates are having parties? The other weekend we went to one and I made cupcakes and we switched the cake with a cup cake. What do you do in the situation? Please let me know your ideas.

Thank you

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Jodi - posted on 01/22/2009

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My daughter is allergic to peanuts and eggs, she is 4. I always bring her own cupcake to any birhtday parties and I make everyone aware of her food allergies so there are no accidents. I always have a special treat in our bag in case there is something she can't have, she won't feel left out (usually a rice krispy treat) which I don't usually give her. Everyone always understands if you let them know about the food allergies, it's so common now.

Kimberly - posted on 01/19/2009

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I do the same thing with birthday parties. My son will be 3 in a few weeks. If he is invited to a party I make him a special cup cake and take ice cream of our own. We prefer the Tofutti. I have found that letting him help me decorate it at home makes it even more "special" for him and he is excited about having it at the party.

For his preschool I make up cupcakes and also freeze them individually and provide them to the school. We a celebration comes along they just thaw one out and put some icing on that I leave there. My son can have gummies and loves them. I provide the school with some of those and a few suckers and such to keep as well. This way if the kids hand out little goody bags the teacher can put what I have sent into my sons.

Good luck

Amy - posted on 01/18/2009

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You are the only one who can look out for your son's health.  If that means bringing in your own snacks or treats to someone else's party than that's ok.  My son  is nearly 4 also has a peanut allergy and I will always bring his own safe snacks to every function we go where food will be served.  Just explain to the parent that he is severly allergic and you'd rather be safe than sorry.  Any parent will understand and feel relieved that they won't be responsible for a possible reaction.  I order peanut free trail mix that he loves from sunbutter.com or make peanut free sunbutter cookies so that he can have something sweet like the other kids have so he doesn't feel left out.  He likes cookies more than cake anyway : )  Good luck!  It's difficult!

Trish - posted on 01/15/2009

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I haven't posted to this group before but I felt the need to reply. My daughter is 8 and we have been aware of her allergies since about 4 months of age. She is allergic to peanuts, tree nuts, concentrated dairy and soy.

For birthday parties, we always bring our own cupcake and Rice Dream ice cream or sorbet. Most times the mom's are really sympathetic and want to prepare something everyone can eat. I thank them profusely, but then explain that the worst reaction she had was from cross-contamination not from messing up and putting the wrong ingredient in and this was in a commercial kitchen (who supposedly knew how to prevent it).

If anything even happened, I would rather have it on my head (because I am well-educated on my daughter's allergies) than on hers. My daughter is fine with this most of the time but if something particularly tempting comes along, I will offer to make some thing similar for her at home later. Most mom's will also check with me able any other foods they might be offering to make sure they are safe. She is still at an age when it is appropriate for me to remain at the party and most mom's appreciate this as well as not having to worry about the cake and ice cream thing. My daughter and I go over the foods that will be available and I tell her which items are safe and which are not.

School birthday treats come up and this is how we deal with it. I make safe cupcakes at home and bring in 3-4 at a time and the classroom teacher puts them in the freezer with Maggie's name on them. When a mom shows up with cupcakes or treats for a child's birthday, she removes one from the freezer and lets it thaw until snacktime.

I have taught her what to look for on food labels, not to eat anything without a label (homemade or bakery treats), and she carries and knows how to use an Epipen. I know that as she gets older, she will be able to keep herself safe.

Sometimes it seems like we have to put a lot more thought and effort to keep our allergic kids safe, but it's worth it for some peace of mind.

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