i'm having trouble getting my partner to realize the dangers of smoking around our 2 and a half year old son. i've told him everything the doctor's have told me, even showed him stuff on the dangers off the internet. but all he says is his mom smoked while she was pregnant with him and around him his whole life. i just don't want him to smoke around our son and don't know how to get him to do it.

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Angela - posted on 12/11/2011

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It really depends on the dynamic of your relationship I suppose. Are you able to demand that he not smoke in the house? In my relationship I can forbid some things, but I realize that this isn't the case for everyone. If you live in a climate where he is unwilling to go outside to smoke can you maybe compromise so that he only smokes in a certain room that you can outfit with an air purifier &/or fan in the window? Obviously the best option is for it to be done outside but you'd need his cooperation. When he makes statements about his mom smoking while pregnant you could counter that they used to just lay babies on the floors of cars (car seats weren't widely used) but NOW we know better. Plus does he want his baby to grow up to be a smoker? It seems that that is the cycle he's arguing for- his mom smoked, now he smokes, & one day maybe his son will too. My mothers parents both smoked like chimneys around her all through her childhood & now she constantly fights bouts of bronchitis & pneumonia every winter. We can't prove the two are related but I have my suspicions.

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Kimberly - posted on 12/07/2011

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I would just put it to him straight that its his choice to smoke not your sons so if he is going to be selfish enough to do it then at least have respect for your son and not do it around him. I used to smoke and thought nothing us it to be doing it when my niece and nephew were around, I would move away but they would still see me doing it and come over sometimes. I quiet before I had my daughter and I have said to my sister in law that I dont know show she didnt kill me cause there is no way in hell that I will let anyone smoke around her. Yes they can smoke at our house if over but it is always outside and well away from where we are. Kids never asked to be born to smoking or non smoking people so dont force your habit onto them. Dont mean to sound harsh but this is simaliar to what made me quiet good luck

Aniesha - posted on 12/07/2011

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I gave my partner an ultimatum before we even had a baby. He smoked, I didn't. At first it didn't bother me too much as long as he didn't do it around me, but then I told him that one day it's not going to just be the two of us, so you need to stop now. He did thankfully. I don't know what I'd do in your situation. Depends how much it bothers you I guess, how drastic a measure you're willing to take. Would he be willing to see a hypnotist? A friend of mine had great success with quitting smoking that way.

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