Any stay at home moms out there??

Angela - posted on 04/02/2010

I have 5 kids in the house,3 toddlers,I stay home,have a husband ,1 dog,and 2 cats, I feel like my hubby has it easy, I feel stressed and some days just down and out.I should be Thankful for every thing I have but at times its just hard.

Danielle - posted on 04/02/2010

not at all. motherhood is the hardest job out there - we're just not compensated for it by money, but by love. it can be so overwhelming. if you think about it everything we do, if we were paid for it - we'd be making moolah! we're nurses, cooks, waitresses, carpet cleaners, maid services, babysitters/daycare owners, teachers, and the list goes on! cram all those salaries together and that's a lot! i try to keep a good perspective about what my husband does. he really does make the money - and i know he works hard. so i am grateful to him for what he does. but that doesn't mean he does more than me - and it may be true (probably is) that i do more than he does. but that's ok. this is why it's important to have a good partnership that you're both comfortable with. if you feel a bit overwhelmed, don't be ashamed of saying so and asking for help. my hubby is happy to cook and clean once in a while and it really helps a lot. but, face it, men are clueless when it comes to a woman's needs so we have to speak up about it and give them the chance to help. most husbands love to help their wives if they know what to do. :)

Danielle - posted on 04/02/2010

not at all. motherhood is the hardest job out there - we're just not compensated for it by money, but by love. it can be so overwhelming. if you think about it everything we do, if we were paid for it - we'd be making moolah! we're nurses, cooks, waitresses, carpet cleaners, maid services, babysitters/daycare owners, teachers, and the list goes on! cram all those salaries together and that's a lot! i try to keep a good perspective about what my husband does. he really does make the money - and i know he works hard. so i am grateful to him for what he does. but that doesn't mean he does more than me - and it may be true (probably is) that i do more than he does. but that's ok. this is why it's important to have a good partnership that you're both comfortable with. if you feel a bit overwhelmed, don't be ashamed of saying so and asking for help. my hubby is happy to cook and clean once in a while and it really helps a lot. but, face it, men are clueless when it comes to a woman's needs so we have to speak up about it and give them the chance to help. most husbands love to help their wives if they know what to do. :)

Danielle - posted on 04/02/2010

not at all. motherhood is the hardest job out there - we're just not compensated for it by money, but by love. it can be so overwhelming. if you think about it everything we do, if we were paid for it - we'd be making moolah! we're nurses, cooks, waitresses, carpet cleaners, maid services, babysitters/daycare owners, teachers, and the list goes on! cram all those salaries together and that's a lot! i try to keep a good perspective about what my husband does. he really does make the money - and i know he works hard. so i am grateful to him for what he does. but that doesn't mean he does more than me - and it may be true (probably is) that i do more than he does. but that's ok. this is why it's important to have a good partnership that you're both comfortable with. if you feel a bit overwhelmed, don't be ashamed of saying so and asking for help. my hubby is happy to cook and clean once in a while and it really helps a lot. but, face it, men are clueless when it comes to a woman's needs so we have to speak up about it and give them the chance to help. most husbands love to help their wives if they know what to do. :)

Amber - posted on 04/02/2010

It's not rude as long as that never fuels any negative actions. And we all feel that way at some point because honestly, being a stay at home mom is some of the hardest work to ever be done. I love every minute of being at home with my boys even if the hours are 24/7, you rarely get a break and you wear many hats: mom, nurse, teacher, head chef, taxi...to name a few...and when your husband comes home wife. I have 3 boys, ages 3.5, 2.5, 6 months and a cat. We used to have a ton of animals but we had to move the week before my last son was born and found homes for all but the kitty.



Something that has helped my husband and I is that I started an at home business. He would get frustrated sometimes about money and things and he stresses out when his job is not going well and would get mad and that would get upset with me about it like I just sit around and eat bon bons(of which I have never had LOL) Then I would be hurt and mad because this is a decision that we made together for me to stay home and when the time came we would homeschool. He knew that he could not do what I do and you do. And that also stresses some men out to think that they might be weak or vulnerable. So with my working my business he doesn't feel as stressed, he also doesn't freak out when I go out for girl time because most of the time I end up making money. It is nice to know that my business allows me to stay home and our family to stress less. And I am not as frustrated with my husband.



One more thing that I have used to help us all work together and help me feel like I have control back in our household.... www.flylady.com check her out.



I am always looking for other moms to talk and share mommilies with 4averys@gmail.com. I hope that I was at least a tad bit helpful. And remember 2 other things: Always communicate with your husband(sometimes they just don't realize what your day is really like and what your home might be like if you did not do all that you do) and God never said it would be easy, he only said it would be worth it!

Stephanie - posted on 04/02/2010

I just had my 3rd baby and it looks like i am not going to be able to go back to my full time job. So far being home with 3 kids and doing all the house work on top is quite a challenge. I cant say it was easier either way for me (working or staying home) but i think that it is definitely easier for the husband...thats just my opinion.

Carol - posted on 04/02/2010

A really good book that puts this all into perspective is "Praise for the Stay-At-Home Mom" by Dr. Laura Schlessinger. Men do have some things easier by going to work, but they also have different stressers (money, performance reviews, etc.). The thing about being a SAHM is you have to balance and manage your day. Clean for 1 hour, then play with your children and relax. Spend 1 afternoon coming up with a grocery list/menu plan for the following week so you don't have to think of a meal every day. I highly recommend the book.

Holly - posted on 04/02/2010

Not rude at all! We do have it a lot harder. I am a stay-at-home mom of two with one dog, and it is challenging. It is both mentally and physically exhausting. Most days I feel like I never even get to sit down! At least when my husband is off work, he can sit down and relax at home. I am on the go from wake-up to bedtime...

Jodi - posted on 04/02/2010

Oh my word, absolutely not! When you figure that we have the kids, pets, husband, house, cooking, cleaning, bills, events, plus who knows what else we have to remember and do, he for sure ahs it easier. I tell my husband all the time that he does. We have three kids as well. 5, 3, and 10 months. The demands of a stay-at-home mom I think are more than a working mom. No offense to any working moms out there. Our job is 24/7. We don't get holidays, sick days...etc. I wouldn't trade it for the world, don't get me wrong. It does get stressful though.

Brittny - posted on 04/02/2010

i know my husbend has it easy. Granted he works nights so he sleeps during the day but even when he does get up he just lays around till he goes back to bed till he goes to work. I do everything, all day, every day. I have a 2 year old and a 6 month old who still wakes up once at night and gets up eairly so its not like I actuialy get a solid nights sleep. Ever! When he invites his friends over to dinner he dosent help do anything. They just hang out and play their video games while his wife and I tend to 4 kids ( she has 2 the same age as mine) and I do all the cooking and clean up after everyone. So frustrating...

Djuana - posted on 04/02/2010

I'm a stay at home mom, with a home business that my hubby and I work on together, plus we are both full time students. I have two teenage sons and one 3 year old son. I NEVER have time to do everything! My hubby finally told the older boys to get their fannies off of the couch and help around the house.. My house work really takes a beating when I so busy.

Tiana - posted on 04/01/2010

you had the babies you can feel however you want! lol thats what i say

Kimberly - posted on 04/01/2010

Oh, there are some days where I definitely think he has it easier......I have a 4 year old, 2 year old, a third due in July.....and by the time my husband gets home from work they go to bed about an hour later. Sometimes I long for the days of getting up, dressing in real adult clothes (not just yoga pants and sneakers) and going to work with adults....but I know that I would be missing many more important things that I won't be able to have when my kids are grown (first steps, etc).

Kelly - posted on 04/01/2010

You're not rude, Katie. It's an overwhelming job and can be pretty lonely sometimes too. My husband is a dentist and I've often told him, "people thank-you all day! No one thanks me!" LOL There have been a number of times when my husband has had to carry the load for a whole weekend and he admits he's exhausted when I get home! Until they do the job, they don't really realize all of the organization that goes into running a home and caring for the kids and the pets.

Ranj - posted on 04/01/2010

No, not rude to think that, I think exactly the same! I counted the hours that I 'work' at home the other day and the average hours was about 12- 14 hrs a day, 24/7, so my husband defo has it easier than me! I have a 18 month old daughter, who only wants my attention, so I have no rest or time for myself unless she is asleep, but, when she is asleep, I find that I am using the time to do things around the house that I cannot do whilst she is awake. The irony is that he thinks that I have it easy at home and it is all about putting my feet up when I want to!

Michelle Sanchez - posted on 03/31/2010

hi my name is michelle and i am a stay at home mom... i have 3 kids and a husband and i am always trying to figure out what we are going to have for dinner, no its not rude i too think like that sometimes i mean i would like to take a nap or stay on the computer for hours and such but then i think to me its a womans job to do all the cleaning and such if you are going to stay at home....dont get me wrong my husband does help out but i try to keep everything done

Kirsten - posted on 03/31/2010

Def. not rude to think that.. We for sure have it harder. I would love more than anything to have my fiance stay home with our son and handle the daily stresses I have to deal with.. Let's compare job duties:

-cooking

-cleaning [doing dishes, vacuuming, dusting, sweeping, etc. ]

-paying bills

-preparing meals & feeding children

-grocery shopping

-entertaining younger children

-running back and forth between doctors appt.'s



etc.etc.etc.!! Our jobs NEVER end! The person in the relationship who has the privilege, YES-- privilege, of having a job get to work from say, 7am to 6pm and then get to come and relax, whereas our jobs as stay at home parents NEVER end. There's always something to be done or something to do, and if we do get a moment of free time it's usually harder for us to have friends/make friends since all we do is stay home and deal with all of our responsibilities.

Mary - posted on 03/31/2010

Not rude at all!! I feel the same way. I'm a stay at home mom that also works from home doing medical transcription, I go to school 3 times per week for 3 hour sessions and still do all of the laundry, cleaning, caring for our 2 kids, cooking and caring for our aging dog. Its a rough life being a sahm sometimes. i think they think we just sit around and play with kids all day and everything else gets magically accomplished. If they had to do our job for a week, they'd lose all of their hair and be institutionalized. Every time I hear some husband say he wants to be a sah dad, I want to give him the opportunity to see what would happen. Don't get me wrong, I love my family and my life, but SAHM isn't as cushy as it sounds. I wish they would understand that.

Rochelle - posted on 03/31/2010

It is not rude. Sometimes I feel I get taken for granted. My husband comes home and I still have to cook, take care of the kids, clean the kitchen, and all the rest of the chores. There are things that he does that I know he does appreciate me and all the things I do. But it gets hard sometimes. I just realize that it comes with the job.

Stephanie - posted on 03/31/2010

Stay at Home Moms, do have a dficult job ahead of them, which is why I get so snarky when people say, "you don't work?" Thankfully, I have had teenagers for awhile to help with chores, but there was a time my head was spinning with 3 kids. It helps if your spouse would help taking on some stuff around the house, like help with dusting or make a meal here and there, etc. The best lesson for my spouse, was having to walk in my shoes for a couple days. LOL

Charlotte - posted on 03/31/2010

no its not,i am a stay at home mum of 2 children i am 21 and i find it rilly hard some times and i get down alot to,but i love my kids to bits i would not no wot to do with out them,i feel tired most of the time its the same thing every day woshin cleanin doin dinner and every think else on top of that some times i just wanna run away i also have 1 cat and 2 kittens charlotte

Kathleen - posted on 03/30/2010

I forgot to say I wouldn't trade being a SAHM for any other job - the rewards are well-worth the effort, and knowing that I have a close relationship with my kids b/c I'm the one who was there for all their "firsts" means the world to me.

Kathleen - posted on 03/30/2010

No, I don't think you're rude to think that. Being a SAHM is one of the hardest jobs in the world (don't let anyone tell you it isn't!) I have been home with my kids (almost 11 and almost 7) since my daughter was born. I worked f/t before she was born, and I have to say that I had a lot more free time on my hands when I was supposedly working f/t than I do now as a SAHM. My daughter is in 5th grade, so she's at school for most of the day - my son is in 1/2-day K this year, so he's only home with me in the mornings, but my days are still incredibly busy. I understand how you feel and can sympathize.

Tasha - posted on 03/30/2010

i'm a SAHM mom with 4 yr old twin boys (their bday is late so they will be starting school this fall!) and 2 puppies and on fridays i have my future stepdaughters who are 3 & 5. sometimes i go absolutely nuts trying to maintain everything. I work from home as well {so not sure if i'm actually considered stay at home} but i am here all day everyday trying to get my 8 hrs of work in and take care of the kiddos as well. My fiancee thinks its a piece of cake! not to say that his job is easy but neither is mine. its a hard balance but underneath it all i really wouldnt trade it for the world!

Amy - posted on 03/30/2010

It's not at all rude to think that! I am a stay at home mom of three children, a 7 year old, a 16 month old, and a 4 month old. I know my husband feels that staying at home is a piece of cake compared to his job, but boy is he mistaken! Between the cooking, cleaning, diaper changes, errands, Dr. appointments, grocery shopping, etc., I feel like I never sit down! Actually, I sometime envy my husband, because he gets to get out of the house everyday, without the kids! But, I would not change it for the world, I know my husband misses a lot of little things with the kids, that I am so lucky to be here to experience everyday. Being a stay at home Mom is definitely a hard job, but so worth it! :)

Nicola - posted on 03/30/2010

Yea when my fiance thought i was at home doing nothin when my 21 month old was newborn 6+months he realized what idid about 9months later when she was coming to 18months and bein more active adn realized why i was laways drained of energy LoL

MARKETTA - posted on 03/30/2010

NO ITS NOT RUDE,MY HUSAND THINKS STAY AT HOME MOMS HAVE IT EASY,I ALWAYS TELL HIM YOU MAY HAVE A NINE TO FIVE, BUT AT LEAST YOU GET THE WEEKEND OFF,HOUSEWIVES HAVE A 7DAY,24HOUR JOB WE GET NO DAYS OFF,ONLY IF THEY COULD WALK A DAY IN OUR SHOES,BUT I LOVE DOING IT.

MARKETTA - posted on 03/30/2010

NO ITS NOT RUDE,MY HUSAND THINKS STAY AT HOME MOMS HAVE IT EASY,I ALWAYS TELL HIM YOU MAY HAVE A NINE TO FIVE, BUT AT LEAST YOU GET THE WEEKEND OFF,HOUSEWIVES HAVE A 7DAY,24HOUR JOB WE GET NO DAYS OFF,ONLY IF THEY COULD WALK A DAY IN OUR SHOES,BUT I LOVE DOING IT.

Nicola - posted on 03/30/2010

We havea group together weds afternoon 2pm till 3.30pm jus so my daughter gets soem interaction with other kids as we were told not to send her to playgroup or nursery cos she is advanced with knowing most of her body parts etc

Jennifer - posted on 03/30/2010

Not at all. I find tricks to staying sane... Like Sunday send my hubby out with the kids so I can prep 4 meals for the week... Wed. my baby has play day for a couple hours and that is mommy day to clearance shop...I play coed softball on Friday night to feel like a person not a tug toy... you can do it. find you time.

Nicola - posted on 03/30/2010

Very touching i am a stay at home mom with a 21month old adn my faince is jobless at the moment but is out everyday looking for a job so he is out like he is working so my daughter gets used to it cos she is starting to become a daddies girl

Varsha - posted on 03/30/2010

Very touching.... What a positive perspective. Brought tears to my eyes. I have a 9 yr. old and a 12 yr. old. Both are girls. I stayed home after the first one was born.And have been at home since then. Sometimes when they are making too much noise I ca't take it. But like you said I too, sometimes think of the days when both of them are in college, it's going to be so quite and I'm going to miss that noise. So we should enjoy this time with them and cherish it.

Rose - posted on 03/29/2010

Natasha, you are right,,my husband does allot of internationals job,,when he is gone,,it is all about work,,he got to his room at any time he can,,and can eat with his friends and have a few drinks and all...this last x-mes,,i was alone with our 15M baby,,on X-mes eve ,the baby got so sick,, with a T of a 104,,he is my 1st baby,,i didn't know what to do,,so i called my husband who was having fun drinking with his friends to ask him what should i do? He was having so much fun, and it was so loud where he was at ,he was "like hey honey call me back tomorrow",,,? Next day he felt like crap and really bad,,but you know what,,i had to go through the fear and trying to make sure my baby was gone make it that night.
So YES! as mothers and wives ,,we do hell of allot for our love ones. To all the great moms out there,,good for you all and keep been great and strong for your familys.

Having a girls time will help and even some time with your hubby would be great,,looking at old pict together.

Rose - posted on 03/29/2010

No body here is putting the working husband down,,My husband and I talked about me doing the job and him staying at home, We will be making the same money,,my husband use to be my bodyguard,so if we wanted to ,we can work together again,,but we are not going to leave the baby alone,,and to him that is not the man thing to do and plus like i said earlier ,,he him self told me he cant do what i do for one day,,yes they miss some things but that is life,, we also put up with things that they may not want to miss,,,the kid get in the bathroom and just set in the toilet bowl and play in the nasty water. that was allot of work,,WE LOVE OUR BABY,,and we will do any thing and every thing for him. But is ok to talk a bout life every now an then when for when it get hectic with ladies who goes through the same.
I personally tell my husband all the time how grateful and and lucky we are to have him. We both got our parts to do in our family and it is ok of we do vent about out if we need to. Plus,,i worked with very high paying jobs with my hubby for the 1st 4 years,traveling with him. He can tell you him self i helped ALLOT paying for every thing, house, SUV's,,furnishing the house and more,,i will never even think if making him take the entire loud by him self... God blessed me with my old job to help my husband out the way i cold,,and i know many great wives out there doing the same for there husband and family's in there owen way.
So ladies,,if you fell like venting,,go a head,,men do it too,,we all have the right to do so.

Natasha - posted on 03/29/2010

Girl I totally get you! I am a stay at home mom of 3 kids as well....sometimes I think my husband is the 4th! We have only 1 dog and 1 cat. Keeping up with everything gets hard and very very boring. I do think my hubby has it better than me sometimes just because he gets to be around adults, eat lunch with actual people instead of stuffed animals and just gets a bit of time to himself then comes home at night and rewinds from his day. I hardly ever get to do that....and sometimes I feel a little resentful. He does construction and I told him that my days are like if someone went to the house he was framing every night and tore it down and he had to rebuild it everyday....but I don't think he really gets it. In the past few months I started getting together with some of my girlfriends every couple weeks to eat dinner and it really helps...for a while. So don't feel like you are alone in this cause your not. I totally understand.

Sharyn - posted on 03/29/2010

He probably does ( in your eyes), but in his eyes what he has to put up with mentally is just as challenging as what you are doing (okay, partially), He probably would LOVE to have your job....I've been on both sides of the fence, and I love being able to be home again...Both of your responsibilities are difficult, yet rewarding, so just remember to thank each other for your respective roles...May God continue to bless your marriage.

Sharyn - posted on 03/29/2010

He probably does ( in your eyes), but in his eyes what he has to put up with mentally is just as challenging as what you are doing (okay, partially), He probably would LOVE to have your job....I've been on both sides of the fence, and I love being able to be home again...Both of your responsibilities are difficult, yet rewarding, so just remember to thank each other for your respective roles...May God continue to bless your marriage.

Shannon - posted on 03/29/2010

If you don't like your hubby paying for you to have a house that needs cleaned or to have food to cook when your kids get hungry, get your own job, hire a sitter and pay your own way.
I have always appreciated a man who will work for me without complaint, and I do the best I can to give back what I can in ANY way I can, whether that be cooking dinner, cleaning, or just giving him the love and support he needs...we all need to try and appreciate it.
If they go our there and work their butts off and make the dough, they deserve everything in return. It just wouldn't be fair if we didn't give something back!

Sarah - posted on 03/29/2010

I al at home with an at home daycare and although I am technically working all the household things fall to me as well. I think back to before I had my son and going to work was easier then running a household full of kids, best job in the world but you don't get weekends or always the chance to have lunch etc. I don't think its rude to think that because if you effecient at your job yor husband may get more of a break then you.

Shannon - posted on 03/29/2010

that's no good. I'm not saying its easy to be a stay at home mom, because i am one, i know you have to clean and run the kids to and from school and make sure that dinner gets cooked, but seriously, think about all the milestones and lil things that the kids do that YOU get to see and he doesn't, can you really say that its easy missing your child grow up? My husband has to work all day he gets home in the evenings, and gets to hear about all the amazing things the kids did at school or when mommy was playing with them, he rarely gets to see the kids learn something new or see the face on our boy when he comes running out of the classroom with an award! Or when our lil girl first started to learn her abc's. Work work work, I was at work when we had our first child, and it was hard, trying to watch the baby grow up by listening to what he did all day with daddy. making sure that you get the next pay check so that whoever is staying at home with the kid has a home to stay in. Its really stressful not watching your kids grow up and making sure that they have everything that they need, he has to be at work, and yes the job might be easier while hes at work, but it wears ppl down, and makes them tired, on top of not being able to spend time with their kids or loved one.
If you need help with dinner, make a menu so you're not running around the house trying to figure out what you're cooking tonight while you pick up the legos.
Have a friend come help you clean, let their kids play with yours, and go to her house another night. it helps.

Rose - posted on 03/29/2010

My husband always telling me he can't do what i do..he helps me when he is home and not running a round in some country working.

But yet,,some times i feel like all I do is,cleaning, laundry,driving,mail,cat and kid chasing,, some times i even get bored of doing all that,,all day,,ever day,,all year long. I do try to have a girls night at my house to have some good talk,good food and some good drinking too. Before we had our baby boy,i use to have a job that got me to traveled the world and now,,the mall,the store and the baby school is pretty much where I go. Big change for me.

Our husbands do have it easier,,my husband is a leader in his job but if am not home to run things,,he will be like a lost baby.

Stay strong and good job honey,,keep it going.

Fipe - posted on 03/29/2010

I was a working mom with my first two and have been a stay at home mom with my last two, soon to be three. I know that it is eaiser to go to work then stay at home. I know that my house was a whole lot cleaner. We could also justify eating out more often so I didn't have to prepare all the meals. Sometime husbands don't understand how hard it is to keep your sanity when you stay at home. When the most intelligent conversaion you have is with a 2 or 1 year old it makes you miss the adult world. One thing I can say I wouldn't give up stay home for any amount of money.

Alison - posted on 03/29/2010

Im a stay at home mom, but luckly right my son is in Pre K and my daughter is in 4th but Im 8months pregnant with our third. So it wont be too quiet for long. My husband is in the Army and his schedule is so crazy. We thought it was best for our family that I would stay home for awhile and be the stable one. Honestly, some days I just want to be able to get away like he does and not have worry about this and that for awhile.

Elizabeth - posted on 03/29/2010

I defiantly agree i have three kids and my husband works from 8am til 12 am and he is hardly ever home u never get that alone time and i am the one doing everything

Candice - posted on 03/29/2010

No it is not.Me and my husband both has different types of stress.Being that your family is your most important asset it is easy to see things in that perspective.It should be that way.Hang in there just as I will.

Lisa - posted on 03/29/2010

It's not rude to think that... it's totally normal to feel that way! I stay home with two young kids ( 3yo and 1 yo) and I work from home around them. Raising kids full time is definitely the hardest job out there. Fortunately my husband understands that, or it would be hard to do everyday. You should leave the hubby home with the kids for 2 days and see what he thinks! ; )

Janie - posted on 03/28/2010

I stayed at home with 4 children and dogs and cats, it was overwhelming at times; but it was rewarding at the end of the day to know that I had taken part in that day of their lives. You see you can never relive those moments. One day they will grow to a stage to where you will have more time for yourself and will be able to do things you enjoy. Take advantage of this priviledge of being able to stay at home and enjoy, it will soon pass and you will think where did time go.

Janet - posted on 03/28/2010

Katie. Does your husband have a "lunch hour?" Does he spend time talking with adults? Your husband would've already run away from home.....you know that, right?

Angelica - posted on 03/28/2010

I dont think so. I feel the same way. Though I have 1 baby. I take care of my borthers kids all day. Almost everyday. Having a 4 yr old a 3 yr old a 1 yr old and my 6 month old. Im constantly trying to keep the house clean and laundry kept u. And lunches and dinners well im tired of the heat and serve, But really thats all i have time for. Being a stay at home mom is a full time job....

Kaycie - posted on 03/28/2010

i have three children and a step son but no pets and yes i will admit that it is hard to do it all. and when it comes to cinner i do find the same cycle of dinner goes around and around. no, i don't think its rude to think that to think that your hubby has it easier