Do you think younger mothers get judged for starting a family early?

Jodi - posted on 06/02/2010

I am 20 and I have 2 beautiful children. I had my first child at 16 and my 2nd at 19. Acourse everybody looked at me different but I would always say.. what you think my babies are cuter then yours and they'd get mad and turn their head. I dont really care people have to say about me because I am a great mother. If it wasnt for my kids, I wouldnt be who I am today. They changed me for the better. The lord has blessed me with beautiful children and he did it for a reason and thats all that matters. I will have more children but not anytime soon.

Dawn - posted on 06/02/2010

Yes, they do and it's wrong. But you get this at the other end of the spectrum as well - I'm in my 40's and just had my first child. People can be quite rude as they don't think before speaking, luckily I can usually think on my feet and come back with something so they know they've been rude. I think it's an age thing not to worry about what other people think;)

Raise your children, do it your way. As long as everyone is healthy, happy and educated the Judgey McJudgeypants can go take a long walk off a short pier;)

Cassandra - posted on 05/31/2010

I'm 23, but apparently look younger because I get funny looks a lot too.
It's a bit annoying
I know women who've waited until they were 25+ to have kids and are crummy mums, and people who have kids when they were 15 and are some of the best mums I know!
What a lot of people don't understand is that age doesn't necessarily mean someone is a better mom/dad...

Thelma - posted on 05/31/2010

ITS BETTER TO HAVE BABIES YOUNG
YOU IS A GOOD MOTHER DONT CARE ABOUT WHAT OTHER THINK JUST DO YOU AND WHEN YOU SMILE AT THEM IT HURT ME MORE CAUSE THEY CANT STOP YOU.
KEEP ON SMILELY

Heather - posted on 05/30/2010

so check it out. i got married at 19, had my first baby at 20, my son at 22 and my baby now at 29. im so happy i had my children young so then when im older im chillin. its much easier to do it young and you have more energy. some older mothers dont have as much energy as they hope or thought they had. i think its great youre having youre second one. keep em close in age and just enjoy your babies. theyre the best thing in the world. i have three and let me tell you our little number three just completes the family so beware, you may like it too much and go for more. ;o) i think theyre just really taking it in when they look at you. if anyone looks at you differently just make sure to smile extra big and be extra nice. you know the saying 'killing them with kindness' it really does work. good luck with your baby!!!! congrats. be proud

Kelly - posted on 05/30/2010

Sorry, but I see these posts on here all the time, and I can't help but think most of the time ya'll are just being way too sensitive. When I am out in public and I happen to look at someone with a child/children, I may be thinking, "oh what cute babies" or "I wonder where she buys his shoes", or I may not be thinking about them at all, my mind may be a million miles away. I had my kids at a wide span of ages (I was 22 when I had my first, and 36 when I had my last), and honestly I don't give a thought to what other people are thinking about me. I am much too busy paying attention to my kids when they are with me. So basically, I doubt people think anything at all about you as much as you think they do. Just do your best and don't worry about everyone else.

Amanda - posted on 05/29/2010

I hate the weird looks! I finished university, and had a baby at 22 with my long term bf and people look at me like I'm a child all the time! it's very frustrating..but then I think how sad their lives must be if they're judging someone they don't know (who happens to be VERY happy)

Dahlia - posted on 05/28/2010

Yes people loves to judge other people. If you having kids too young, it wrong, too old it wrong or in between they ask you why you want to have kids when you carrier is flying high. duh....
I get my first kids when I'm 27 and they still give me a look. Now at 37 and having a new born and 2 others they still give me a look. Now it was "why you waiting a long time to get another kids". hello my life, my family, my body.....and I love every second of it.

Monique - posted on 05/28/2010

I deal with the same thing. My daughter is 12 and I'm 29. I don't know what the big deal is. I graduated with honors, got a B.S. Degree, and I have been successful in life thus far. Instead of judging young mothers we as a society should be encouraging them them be successful in life. We should give helpful advice, we should acknowledge those young mothers that are doing a wonderful job at raising their children. The most important thing to remember is that becoming a mother at a very young age doesn't mean it's the end of the world. I look forward to the days when my children are grown and I still have plenty of years to enjoy life with my husband...alone! =-)

Monique - posted on 05/28/2010

I think younger mothers get judged. I have four girls and my oldest is 12. I had her when I was almost 17...I'm almost 29 now. My little ones are always with me because I pick them up from daycare and run to the store or pay a bill, and my oldest goes straight home. Anyways, I get people commenting all the time about how horrible it is these day...how so many young girls are having babies. I don't say anything but it is hurtful. Just because we were had our babies when we were young doesn't mean we are bad moms. It doesn't mean we are bad people. I love my children, and provide for them. So yes, they do judge us and we can't change that. But it's not important, you don't have to please people you don't know. As long as you are a good mother, that's all that matters. =)

Adrianna - posted on 05/27/2010

btw i was 18 when i got preg with my now 3 year old and 19 when he was born

Adrianna - posted on 05/27/2010

i get alot of same looks hun i am 22 preg with second child plus my husband has a 10 yr old who most think is mine when hes with me. so dont feel bad or anything just hold your head high and continue doing whats right for ur kids and family.

Anna - posted on 05/03/2010

Hi, my name is Anna, and I am 19, I had my daughter who just turned 1 when I was 18, and at the place that I worked, I was told all the time that I was too young to have a baby, my mom doubted me, saying that I was too young. Now, I don't get too many looks, and my mom realized she was wrong.

Alison - posted on 05/03/2010

Sweetheart, we all get judged for one thing or another. That's the crappiest part of being a parent.

Lori - posted on 05/02/2010

I'm 23 and I look like I'm 16. But I see people giving me weird looks to. I think they do judge but it doesnt matter what they think.

Laura - posted on 05/02/2010

ive got 2 babys they are 1 and 2 and im 20 i get looked at all the time but dont let it bother you if your a good mum then youv got nothing to worry about like how other people think..

Lee Ann - posted on 05/01/2010

its terrible that people do that. hold your head up high. i don't think age matters when having kids...its how good of a job you do as a mom. i'm sure you're a great mom. :) ignore the looks.

Kelly - posted on 05/01/2010

i am 27 with 4 kids. had my first at 18. i feel that people judge me 2. most of them are tho. i am married to their dad but most ppl expect me to have 3 or 4 differant dads.why do others mum do this?

Juli - posted on 04/29/2010

All mothers get judged all the time. I don't know why we do this to each other, but it's not just age, trust me. I am an older mom - just had my first at 37. I really can't figure out why people aren't warm and friendly, especially when there are little ones involved. I'd like my son to grow up in an open, happy and warm world. It doesn't matter what you do or don't do. Just enjoy your family and have fun!

Andrea - posted on 04/24/2010

Completely understand your situation.. I had my first child when I was 16 and my last when I was 22.. When I am out with my kids most ppl think that we are all brother and sister, I have even had a few come right out and ask me when I told them nope they are my kids, " How did you manage them all when ur so young?"
I see it this way, yes I was young when I had my first child and yes it was very challenging, I had to give up alot but I also learned alot along the way especially about myself.. I just let them look now and some will even wisper amoungest themseleves as I pass, it used to bother me quit a bit but now I just keep on walking because I know that all my kids are straight A students, members of various groups through school and in their community and have goals for their future that they strive everyday to meet... And I ask myself this,"Can they say the same things about their kids?????" And then I smile...........

Laurel - posted on 04/23/2010

I'm 42 now, I had my first child at 19.... and I still get funny, sometimes rude comments about my age when I had him.... So I would say big "yes". When I had him it was planned, doc told me at 17 that the older I was the harder it would be to have children. I was looked down on by almost everyone in my families circle of friends... Would they have preferred he was an accident?

Dawna - posted on 04/23/2010

In my case, the norm in my family/town is for women to have children and be married by age 22, so when I went off to college and waited until later to get married and have kids, I had to put up with lots of nosey questions. People were always asking when I would settle down and wasn’t I afraid I was getting too old to have kids? (when I was 23, keep in mind.) I married at 27, and most people in my family expected me to be pregnant right away. They kept bugging me for over a year, until I told them we were trying but had fertility issues. Honestly, I had always expected to be a mom by age 25 or so, but it didn’t happen for me until 30. By then, people were judging me for being an older mom. My mom had me at 19 and my brother at 21, then she had my sister as an oops at age 36. Since she was married to our dad for all three of us, I don’t think she got judged until my sister came along. I remember even I thought she was so old to be having another. Of course, now I’ll probably have one around age 36, since we want more than one child. ;) There are advantages and disadvantages to being a mom at any age. Ignore everyone else. In the end, the only important thing is that you are trying to be a good mom, no matter how old you are.

Dorothy - posted on 04/22/2010

Hello Katie,

I had my daughter at 25 and she had her son at 24, I look at it this way who cares what others think, it's your life and it's up to you to make the best with it and your child. Even at 25 I was scarred but I have a great daughter and have a new grandson, that's all that matters, your family and getting through what ever life dishes out. Be happy and take good care of your babies and give them losts of love.

Van - posted on 04/22/2010

let them think whatever they want to think. to each his own. as long as your doing your best to be a great mom or a wife, nothing else matters.
just smile back at them, ok?

Kimberly - posted on 04/21/2010

I think there's a stigma attatched to very young moms. Everybody assumes that young mothers got that way by "accident" Like THAT'S never happened in the history of the world! lol

My son was an "oops, how did that happen" baby, and I was 30 at the time. ( I had my first two at 21 and 25)

I think, as a whole, people tend to judge others when they see something that either makes them uncomfortable or jealous. Try not to take it too personally.

If it's senior citizens that look at you funny, remember too, that in that day and age, pregnancy was treated like an illness and you did not show any signs of being "with child" in public.

We live in a society, unfortunately, that judges first

I'm glad I had my kids young. I had the energy to play with them when they were little and now I can sit back a little and enjoy their independence. I'm still young enough to do what I want!

Heather - posted on 04/21/2010

I agree that some people do judge. I had my first child at 16 and my second at 28. I received a lot of looks when I was younger. Now that I am 33 and I attend some of my daughters highschool functions, I still get looks. The parents are mainly older and the women seem uncomfortable around me for being young. I figure whatever. Since I had my first child young, I never judge other young mothers. People should not judge unless they have walked in anothers shoes.

Roxanna - posted on 04/21/2010

2 of my sisters had their first kids when they were 16 and whenever I would go out with them and watch their kids I would get dirty looks, mostly from older women(nothing against them, it's just something I noticed). I got pregnant for the first time when I was 20 and I had my twins 4 days after my 21st birthday. I had my 3rd boy a year and 4 months later and I used to get dirty looks all the time, I'm not sure if it was because I had 3 kids by the time I was 22 or because my kids are white/mexican mix. I know whenever I caught people looking I would cuddle up to my man or my sons and give them hugs and kisses then look right at the person, that usually makes them mad and they go away....I know it's not the "most mature" thing to do but neither is staring at people! LOL

Chelsea - posted on 04/21/2010

theyre just jealous because they cant keep up with their kids since they're old and slow. dont worry about what other people think. just be happy, and smear that happyness up in their faces like a proud momma.

Leanne - posted on 04/21/2010

I had my 3 rd child 1 month before my 22 bday (1st at 17, 2nd at 19) and yup I got looks too. I just tried my best to sluff it off, I knew I was mature enough to handle it and I didnt care what ppl thought. I know that I am good and loving mom, I heard it all even the "your ruining your life" I dont think so, I am glad I had my kids when I did and I wouldnt have had it any other way. I am 36 yrs (37 on friday) with a 19 yr old, 17 yr old and a 15 yr old and by time they have kids I will be a young enough grandma I can play with my grandkids and enjoy them. There is always a positive. I think ppl need to get over "age" think about it, 100+ yrs ago if you were'nt married with kids by time you were 18 you were an old maid. Dont let the ppl who look down their nose at you make you feel bad, hold your head up and be proud to be a mommy. Remember no one can make you feel like less of a person unless you let them, stand tall and proud! :) **hugs**

Krista - posted on 04/21/2010

Not to worry, people will judge you at any age because strangers have nothing better to do than pass a judgement. If you are 35 and having your first child ppl will judge you because they think you waited too long or you were too busy to have kids earlier or it was an accident... what ever the case may be. I had my first when I was 24 and going to university and was judged because of it too, for all different reasons. I think it's important to remember that that everyone has different opinions and different value systems and as mom's we need to raise our family's the best we can and not serve the judgements of others.

Anna-Marie - posted on 04/20/2010

I think these days it's hard for people to figure out how your related to the child. I'm a young mum & my parents took my older son (back then he was 4) to the park & lots of people there thought they were the parents! (My dad said he felt really young!). I take my younger son to a playgroup in our area, & only 1/2 the time is it the mum's bringing the kids, the rest are caregivers, (like home daycare people, they usually have 3-4 kids from different families in tow), nannies, au pairs, grandparents & older siblings....So don't worry about it...it will be just them trying to figure it out..it always reminds me of part of any Eels song "I see a girl pushing a stroller & eating a red popsicle, & I think that must be her sister, that MUST be her sister, right?"
What my mum told me is that you look sooo good as a young mum, that everyone else is jealous! I also think to myself when I'm 40 my kids will be getting ready to leave home & I will be young enough to do whatever I want, me & my husband have already talked about travelling etc. Whereas my friends are now in their 30's-40's just starting to have families. I am glad I'm not in their position & finished with all the baby stuff when I was young & had time & energy for them!

Kimberley - posted on 04/20/2010

hi I was 17 when I had my first child and yes I did get some funny looks from people but I just ignored them because I knew that I was doing a good job of raising my son.Now I am 27 and I have 5 gorgeous children who I wouldn't change for the world.The reaction I get from people now is quite the opposite they congratulate me on doing such a good job with my children and I very often get comments like "You're doing a great job I don't know how you manage I couldn't do it ".The way I see it is that people will always have their opinions the main thing is that you know you are doing the best for your child.

Shannen - posted on 04/20/2010

I had my 1st child at 20 and it wasnt that bad , i'm in australia, and then when i fell pregnant with my 2nd ppl started to give me funny looks but now i am pregnant with my 3rd i get the most stupid comment like when i ring to make appointment " its such a beautiful thing when you have your 1st" And i am getting looked at more and more! None of my children were "accidents" my husband and i have planned them all and when i have had my children i will then go to University to get a degree which i couldnt have done when i left school as i was sick of sudy and had no idea what i wanted to do!

Jessica - posted on 04/20/2010

i was 20 when i had my first daughter and 21 when i had my second daughter and i get looked at like im crazy prolly cuz my kids are so close in age. but you cant worry about what other ppl think there are gonna be times when ppl just run u down about how young you are, just brush it of and move on.. if you take care of you kids and give them everything they need age doesnt matter..

Amanda - posted on 04/20/2010

I am Amanda I had my 1st baby at 17. I got stares, comments, and even flat out trash talked to me. I had my 2nd baby at the age of 20 and now people are seeing my kids are well behaved and polite they try to act like its all cool now. I just hold my head up and remember that they are looking at the age not the way we are with our kids. Its a sterotype thats unfair but we have to live with.

Phoebe - posted on 04/20/2010

I had my first child at 16 and it was a lessoned learned. Imagine all the stares and comments I got, but you live and you learn, no one has to care for you children ultimately but you, not them, I am 26 now and I graduated on time and went to college, now that I look back at it I am glad I got it over with it and we are fine, oh yeah 4 more children later, but be careful.

Rachelle - posted on 04/20/2010

I had my 2nd baby at 22 too and when i was 25 i had my 3rd unexpededly. To me it is normal but to even here 25 and 3 kids it just sounds crazy its just were you r in your life that matters people hate all the time. at least your taking care of what you have to

Kirsty - posted on 04/20/2010

i also have a page on face book young mums under 23 please join

Kirsty - posted on 04/20/2010

hi katie my name is kirsty i am 19 i had my son at 18 and he is now 7 months of age.

my partner is 23 and i get odd looks all the time ..