how do I get my picky 4 year old to eat with out yelling at him???

Jonelle - posted on 03/19/2012

AMEN! Get them in the kitchen!!!! Changes everything.

Jonelle - posted on 03/19/2012

You have to try. www.ViviLeDish.com. Its an approach designed to revolutionize the way you nag your kids to eat their veggies. It requires NO YELLING!



Give yourself a break for a whole week before trying this program of no yelling and no standoffs.



The site features are described here http://www.viviledish.com/company/ourmis...



Maybe you should start out signing up for Fridays with Vivi and the Giggle Grower - my boys LOVE the Giggle Grower! Then you can ease into making recipes with him for healthy snacks.



Mama LeDish says don't yell, be firm, but hold your ground!!!!!!

Julie - posted on 03/11/2012

NEVER yell at a child - that is very traumativc for him...



Offer him foods he likes to eat and he will eat... trust me, when a child is hungry he will eat. Do you sit together as a family and have pleasnat talks while eating?



♥ It is up to you to make meals something the whole family cherishes and looks forward to -



Turn the t.v. off and enjoy one another...

Joan - posted on 03/07/2012

ummm stop yelling at him?

Amanda - posted on 02/28/2012

I went through the same thing with my son. Like to have never gotten him to try something new. He was hooked on store bought pizzas and chicken nuggets. Bad move on my part.



When he was 4 my Mom decided to make homemade pizzas one night. She's big into making her own dough, but you can pizza dough from the store. My son loved getting his hands in the flour, rolling the dough and being able to pick and choose his toppings! And the shocker? He would eat his entire pizza (which made 4 slices at the time). He was hooked then!



I think it helped him to get over his many aversions to food by letting him help in the kitchen. He has his own kid friendly cook book and utensils. When he gets a wild hair to make something(which it has slacked off here in the past year) we go through his cookbook and choose something we have the ingredients for. And he eats his creations, it's that sense of "I did this!" that I think makes it "taste" better. Plus remember, kids go through spurts of not eating as much too. When my son eats the most it's usually because of a growth spurt and the nights when he'll just have a few bites then I know to try and cut back on his portions and wait for his appetite to pick up again.



It's tricky feeding these picky eaters. But I'm a firm believer in letting them help out because it gives them the chance to see how food is made, they can choose what toppings to use or leave off and it can be fun for the whole family too! Hang in there :) It does get a little easier as they get older.

Kathy - posted on 01/10/2012

What we do with our daughter we finish eating and we leave the table and leave her there. seems to work or us. she isn't allowed to leave the table till she's done and she calls us when she done. also if we're going somewhere we play beat the clock and if she's not done she gets punished. but beat the clock has worked too. you show her what time it is and what time we want her to be done. of course she gets rewarded for finishing before the clock.

Raylene - posted on 01/02/2012

I tell my kids "my kitchen is not a restaurant with a buffet" if you don't like my menu tough luck! I have learnt in the past that yelling will get you know where only more worked up. If he's hungry he'll eat so keep doing what you're doing, he's bound to cop on to the idea soon enough. If he sees you getting upset with the whole "eat your dinner" fiasco he is bound to keep up the "I don't like that stuff" just to get under your skin, so just keep it calm and mellow with no reaction for him to watch.

MICHELLE - posted on 04/20/2010

well i have the same kind of issue so what i did is just get a cupcake tin or some thing like that and put what ever in each slot and give it to him /her and let them go at it

my son now does not like his food to touch

so i use the same thing slotted plates and such

this might work

Kara And Mike - posted on 04/17/2010

do not get the treats!! he knows they are there and he has to learn that there is not a treat after every meal! if he is hungry he willl eat anything! trust me it works after a few days!

Kara And Mike - posted on 04/17/2010

I have toothpicks I use with the kids and any unique eatting utencil is great! They forget about the food and focus on how they eat it! Chop stix are fun as well....esp. for boys they can poke it, catch it....whatever!

Kara And Mike - posted on 04/17/2010

Just say "this is it, eat it or leave it" there is nothing else until its gone! I also have a picky 4 yr. old. but making fun food and getting them involved in making it is also great!!

Lisa - posted on 04/17/2010

Don't force it and yell, its creating negative energy for all at meal time. Give him small amounts to try, then he can have his croissant or what it is he likes to eat. Re-name food - brocilli (trees), cauliflower (trees with snow) etc, my kids loved that. If he doesn't want to eat at all just put him down from the table and no food for a bit. Try not to stress, I know its hard. I had a boy that threw food so I used to just quietly put him down from the table (now that was hard!!).

Leslie - posted on 04/17/2010

My4tr old eats what ever is for supper or he has a choice not to eat supper. If he is really hungry he will at least try it. He has only went to bed once not eating supper, and he realized I was serious and he started tasting things to see if he likes, I try to make a balanced meal and at least one item that I know he likes. But I put his favorite in a bowl in front of him and tell him he has to eat so many bites of the other to get the one he likes. If he complains and whins he has to get down from the table. This works for us. Hope this helps.

Debbie - posted on 04/17/2010

I can sense your frustration and have walked in your shoes. As a mother, you feel that feeding your child the right foods and the correct amounts is important. Unfortunately, your son is in the age range where independence and making his own choices is very important to him. This is the age where power struggles between mom and child erupt (and it drives moms and dads crazy). The way I finally handled is was with a snack plate. At each meal, I would make half of a sandwich (or a very small pieces of eggs, pancakes, hotdogs, turkey, hamburger, chicken...whatever we were eating for that meal) and cut it into small pieces, put some cut up veggies and fruit, some raisins, pickles (remember to only put one or two pieces of each food) and a cup of milk. Then you introduce the "game". You make a chart with three categories: "Foods I like, Foods that are not my favorite and Foods I hate". When my son would try one of the foods, he would put a sticker under either catagory and I would write the name of the food by the sticker. Mommy and Daddy both got to put stickers and names of foods on the chart also (but with different stickers for each person (it is important to model the behavior you are trying to get the child to perform). If he didn't eat it or try it, then we would ignore it. I would put the "snack plate" in front of him at each meal and then ignore it. If he ate anything, great. If he didn't, then usually he would eat at the next meal. The first two meals, he sat glaring at me and refused to eat...waiting for me to start getting upset. As my husband and myself talked about which foods we loved and which foods were not our favorites, and then put our stickers on the chart, I could see curiousity replace stubborn rebelliousness. On the third meal, he ate one piece of the sandwich, one piece of a banana, one slice of an apple and one carrot slice and then loudly announced that he liked all of them. We had great fun putting his BIG stickers on the chart. For over a year, every day I cut up a wide variety of fruits, veggies and added small amounts of what we were eating at each meal and gave him his "snack plate" and then let him eat whatever he chose. I continually added new foods and he would occassionally be tempted to try it and would either love it or hate it. The list of foods he liked gradually grew. We had no more struggles at meal time and my children all ended up adoring fruits and veggies from the "snack plates" that they nibbled on throughout the years. Their friends would come over and would always ask for a "snack plate" while they were all playing. It just became part of our family life that fruits and veggies were always available and could be eaten when wanted. The game that I came up with to solve the eating problem had more benefits than just getting my son to eat. It changed the focus from wanting treats to wanting favorite fruits and veggies. I hope that this idea is helpful. Power struggles with preschool children are never enjoyable...to either the mom, dad or the child. The fewer you face each day, the calmer your life will be. Trust me...I know!

Sarah - posted on 04/16/2010

I saw on the show the Doctors that kids that age just become really attention seeking. He recommended the family sitting down at the table with their plates, but keep your sons empty and don't say anything to him about HAVING to eat. Once he see's everyone else eating, he's likely to ask for food. Give him a small amount, but don't make a big deal about it, just keep on eating and talking as you were before. Once he's done that he might just ask for more :) Good luck!

Brigitte - posted on 04/15/2010

My daughter (now 7) has never been a good eater. She will always try something because that is the house rule ( you won't know if you like something unless you try it)but she doesn't eat very much. She has learned that if she doesn't eat her meals, there are no in between snacks. At 4 my daughter would only eat watermelon, hot dogs, chicken nuggets and rice. I just make sure she takes her vitamin every morning and drinks her milk (which she loves). I would just make sure my eals included something I knew she would eat and of course she had to try the new stuff. She still doesn't have a big appetite but I don't fight over food.

Mere - posted on 04/15/2010

Hi. Yes i have the same problem with my 5 nearly 6 year old. I find it hard to get her to eat food the we eat and yummy food at that. She has been like this since she 1st started eating and her choice of food is very limited. She will introduce maybe 1 or 2 different things to her eating once a year if we are lucky. It is very hard to get her to eat things. We have even tryed sending her to bed early with no dinner. I think my only option is to play it out with her. Any suggestions or ideas will be great.

Keely - posted on 04/14/2010

Give them what you are eating and ask them to try and if they don't they still won't starve. My parents thought they were doing the right thing ordering the kiddy meals when I was in hospital and I spent the entire time begging my mother (who ended up doing it) to cook vegies and normal meals.

Jessica - posted on 04/14/2010

i dont have a kid that age mine are both younger, but ive always been told not to force them to eat,, they will eat when they are hungry.. hope this helps.

Lisa - posted on 04/14/2010

sandwiches are fine, introduce healthy ones slowly, give him a fourth of one and have him try something that the family is eating--encourage a nice dish of fruit or ice cream after he has finished dinner and tried what the family is eating..yelling is not needed--remember he is a baby--he watches others emotions, and tries them out on you..good luck and God Bless....Lisa

Laura - posted on 04/14/2010

My 5yr old granddaughter doesn't eat anything either. Yelling will do nothing to help. Trust me, I know. My mother yelled at us all the time. We couldn't leave the table until everything on our plate was gone. This took up to 2 hours sometimes and being sent straight to bed.

When I had my daughter, my Ex and I set up one rule when it came to eating meals. You HAVE to try a bite but you don't have to like it. Just try it. Yes, sometimes they will sit their for 20 minutes or more and refuse to try it but eventually they do give in.

We do this with my 5yr old granddaughter who wont eat anything most other kids normally like. I told her, just like at her house, she has to try the food we're having for that particular mealtime. She will try it and either like it or not. If she doesn't like it, I thank her for trying it and ask her what she does want to eat. If she DOES like it, she gets a small portion of it and I tell her to eat whatever she can of that food. Then I observe what she eats and how much of it she eats (asking for seconds is a sure bet she loves it!).

There have been times when she will cry and refuse to try something but I don't give up until she gives in. I give her a napkin and a bottle of water and tell her if she doesn't like it to spit it out onto the napkin and drink the water to get rid of the taste in her mouth. This gives her reassurance that if she tries it and doesn't like it, she won't have to deal with the aftertaste.

This method also let's her sample different foods and find out which ones she really likes. she loves raw carrots but wont eat them cooked. She loves spanish rice, PB&J or PB&fluff, cheese pizza, cheese sandwich (no mayo), chicken nuggets/fingers (and only from certain places or brands. there are a few other foods she will eat now and her choices have expanded in the last year or so.

Try this method with your child(ren) consistently and be honest with them. If you don't think they will like it, tell them but tell them they still have to try it. A couple of times when I told her she might not like something but to try it anyway and she tried it, she ended up actually liking it. I kind of make a game out of it with her too. We're having ham, potatoes and green beans for instance and I tell her she can try a bite of each or try one of them for that night, she will have the choice to pick what she wants. If she likes the first one she tries and i praise her on it, she feels proud of herself and wants to try the next one and so on.

Lydia - posted on 04/14/2010

Have them sit at the table while you eat. Give him the plate but if he doesn't eat, he doesn't eat. Of course if there is dessert, there is none if he doesn't eat enough of the good stuff. When your done eating let him get up too. Leave the plate there until 15 mins before bedtime so he can go back to it (don't heat it back up though.) Sometimes they just are hungry at dinner time. Don't feel bad if he decides not to eat, there is always another meal. Going without one won't hurt a child (it isn't a punishment if they choose not to eat and you are not a short order chef employed to make he whatever he wants.)

Beth - posted on 04/14/2010

I challenge my kid to try a tiny sample first of any food, if she likes it i give her small portions until she asks for more. i usually let my 3yr old kid join my cooking (I let her prepare the green-leafy vegies by picking the leaves off the stems) I also make cooking time a little chef play for her. she cant wait to taste what "she" prepared whether its squash or cabbage. The thing is you wouldn't eat yourself if you feel aloof with the food. So why not put the joy of preparing them so your kid can develop the respect to eat them. I also instilled the discipline for her to eat what's on the table.. no substitutes. I also treat her for some dessert she loves after she eats difficult food (like bitter gourd). Hope this helps.

Kate - posted on 04/14/2010

Usually kids don't eat because they aren't hungry at that time...we train ourselves to eat at certian times, but that may not be healthy...try letting him have food only when he is hungry, then streach the time frame until it is closer to your family meal time...also mid afternoon snaks will cause him to not be hungry at your family meal time so dont feed him after his lunch...He may whine and say he is hungry, let him have a small drink of juice but no food... he will not starve to death between lunch and dinner, he just THINKS he will, after a while he will be more than ready to eat with the family...this won't happen overnight, it may take weeks, but if you give in to him you will be the kid and he will be the adult...

Cecilia - posted on 04/14/2010

Try getting him to prepare the food with you e.g. boil and cool some potatoes. Get him to peel them and let him mash them with his hands or a fork. Get him to shape and brush some butter on the potatoes and show him how to toast his "artistic creations". You might want to be a little more ambitious and get him to wrap a small piece of sausage in each "potato creation" before toasting. Hope he'll love his work of art and eat them. Happy cooking.
You might want to try colouring the mashed potatoes with carrot, spinach ( the list is endless ) juice.

Schmoopy - posted on 04/14/2010

Sounds like a big power struggle. Never fight a battle you can't win!!!

You control what and when he eats. He controls how much.

I would insist that your son sit at the table with everyone during mealtimes. If he chooses not to eat, then let it go. Stick to your guns. He might go on a bit of an eating strike, but it won't last. Don't worry: once he gets hungry enough, he'll eat.

Lol - posted on 04/14/2010

my 3yo daughter tendss to the same behaviour. To be blunt about it... your son now has negative issues with his dinner meal because you are yelling at him and trying all you can to get him to eat. he would rather go to bed hungry than have his mummy yell at him like that.

I was doing the same with my daughter... so i sat her down the other afternoon... a couple of hours before dinnertime.. and asked why she doesn't like eating dinner. reply: it's too much work mummy. made me cry... so now i just give her a salad plate portion of whatever i am eating... and don't stress about how much she eats.

If your son is willing to go to bed hungry... then any small portion he eats from his dinner plate will be an improvement.

let him help plate his own dinner... or peel the vegies. if he feels like he has helped make dinner... it may increase his want to eat it.

best of luck.

Tasneem - posted on 04/14/2010

WELL Y DONT U TRY GIVING HIM TO EAT WHAT U ALL NORMALLY EAT...Y KIDS MEALS...I GUESS A FOUR YR OLD WOULD EAT NE NORMAL MEAL THT U EAT....TRY THT WAY OUT IF HES NOT NJOING EVEN THE YUMMY KIDS MEAL!!

Tami - posted on 04/13/2010

offer a reasonable amount to try.....don't feed any treats until he's tried that