What can i do about lack of sex?

Stacy - posted on 08/30/2010

It's just the oposite for me. I am the one wh doesn't really want sex. Which is the exact opposite than the way I used to be. My son is also almost 2. Used to I wanted it all the time even when I was pregnant. Now he would be lucky if he gets it once a week and that is with him bugging me, whic he does not like to do because it makes him feel like he is pressuring me. I really have not figured out a way to fix it. If you do please let me know.

Stormy - posted on 08/29/2010

Well, when I put on weight my husband was still attracted to me. I doubt he married you for your looks. I think if your being a b**** then that has to do with it. If you think it's because your so FAT then lose weight. I honestly can't stand when women let themselves get out of shape because they are pregnant. They "eat for two", haha not funny! The baby is not an excuse to overeat. I think it boils down to laziness...maybe that's why he's not attracted to you!

Bianca - posted on 06/04/2010

well first and formost, you definitely need to talk to him, and see whats up. becaus i know when i was prego i only had a huge sex drive like maybe 3times outta the 5months i was prego.
and you never know, maybe his interests in the bedroom have changed a bit. just ask....i know my husband likes when i take the inititive on what he likes and what we can do to spice it up. in the begining i wasnt really into much, but now we go to sex shops together, we'll buy a new porn every other month or so, maybe new toys. i never really liked role play just cuz it was weird to me. but my hubby felt the same way. every so often, he'll come home from work, and ill be in a lil cute lacy bit, just giving him the "go"...theres times when i get home from work, he'll be in the bed butt naked and just ready to go with candles and music. oh and definitely try, but only on days when you know hes in a good mood, try stepping into the shower lil after he goes in. there are a lot of different positions that make it better foryou and him. and my fave, they actually have a "dirty talk" book at the sex shops, its fun and different! =) i know after i had my son, i didnt wanna have sex, i was terrified of getn prego again, so we didnt have sex til our son was like 5months old, we did other things, just cuz i like to keep him happy in the way, and if he couldnt "do it" i wanted to atleast keep the urge until i was ready. just all in all....find out what the problem is. and since hes not taking the inititive, maybe you should. its not always about the man having to be the one interested in doing it, love making is an act of two. =)

but as far as the period goes. you should really see a doctor just to make sure everythings ok.

ps. i promise im not a pervert or anything lol
i hope this helped you in some way.=)


♥ Bianca

Kristin - posted on 06/03/2010

It's little bit like the Nike ad for both of you. Just do it! Start with planning it into your life and spice it up from there. If that doesn't work, talk to a doctor. That means him too, not just you. good luck.

Louise - posted on 05/30/2010

All marriages take a dive in the bedroom department. Is there anything else wrong in your marriage. Money worries, job security lack of sleep. All these lead to a lack of libido. Do you pester your husband for sex or refer to it alot. This is a major turn off for a man with low sex drive. For now go back to affection, give him a cuddle in bed but nothing else roll over and go to sleep. Do not make a move on him. Always give him a kiss hello and goodbye. After a week or so he will begin to think what the hell is going on. Why does she not want sex, what is wrong with me! Turn of the tables you watch him come running. Try and go out once a week without the baby so you can have adult time and not mummy and daddy time. Hopefully he will remember you as the woman he fell in love with and not the woman who is always attached to his child.

Ellen - posted on 05/29/2010

I have a similar problem but it is me not him... I have found since I was pregnant (My daughter is 5 months old now) I have just completly lost interest. I feel bad for him but I just can't get into it.. We have totally opposite work schedules he works till after midnight and I go to bed early, He sleeps in while I wake up early with the baby... I want to be more interested but don't know how.. And I am not one of those adventurers in the bedroom so don't want to get into the toys or porn :S

Melissa - posted on 05/29/2010

Alison, there was nothing in the original post about porn....

Alison - posted on 05/25/2010

You really need to get to the bottom of this whatever it is. Tell him how you are feeling. Try to convince him to go for couples therapy. It really sounds like he might be getting into porn - just a guess.

You must do something about this, because your marriage will not survive without sex!

Victoria - posted on 05/24/2010

Ok Victoria I feel you need to have good communication to start.. find out WHY??? but remember when you talk you might not like what he has to say so be open minded... and start there.. it might be a really small thing or it could be huge. Just let him know how you feel and dont hold back be honset with yourself. I hope all goes well.

Melissa - posted on 05/24/2010

I AM TOTALLY GOING THROUGH THE SAME THING. EXACT SAME THING. LOL I AM REALLY GLAD TO HEAR THAT I AM NOT ALONE. BEEN GOING TO THE DR A LOT LATELY AND THEM ASKING ME "ARE YOU PREGNANT" OF COURSE THE ANSWER IS NO, THEN COME "ARE YOU SURE, COULD THERE BE ANY CHANCE?" I HATE THAT!!!!!

NOW WITH ME, I DIDN'T HAVE MY PERIOD FOR ALMOST A YEAR BECAUSE I WAS NURSING

Sherry - posted on 05/24/2010

Hey Victoria,

Sounds a bit of a complicated problem. And unfortunately there's no sure fired solution... I can't comment on your monthly finally making an appearance after so long.. though I would sort of agree with Tina.

My suggestion to you with the issues in intamecy with your hubbie. I strongly suggest you talk to him... do the "I FEEL" discussion technique works best I think... but you can't exactly fix a problem if you don't know WHAT CAUSED the problem... right? So ask him, talk to him, ask for suggestions, and hell if you feel you've gotten a little too heavy... try going for a run every other day (to start) and try a few sit ups (man my tummy flattened right out in 2 weeks after starting that-- the situps alone!) you can use that run or excersize time for ME time too... it will help clear your mind, make you feel better about yourself and so on and so forth.

If that doesn't work... maybe you need BOB (Batterie Operated Boyfriend) I know when I got pregnent my sex drive went through the roof and hubbie can't keep up. sometimes too our fearless men start getting scared of making us pregnent again too soon (or too soon for them!)

Best suggestion-- Talk to him.. keep those lines of communication open...

Stephanie - posted on 05/23/2010

Oh honey first did you put on a lot of weight and if so get to a gym and don't do it for him do it for yourself you will have this anxiety lessen and you will feel better about yourself which in turn will make you much more attractive to him and others. It is really weird how something so silly can be overbearing but try it it does work I have lost 68 pounds look great feel great sex life picked up like crazy after 3 yrs. of nothing now he has put on weight and he feels the same way I did. So instead of turning away I help him remembering all the time how it felt that he didn'e help me. I started doing my hair every day and putting on a litttle make up having coffee dates with the girls and wow a whole new woman. keep your chin up and it will get better. When it happens you will find you get more frisky and may even be responsible for lighting the fire again. Good luck to you.

Tina - posted on 05/23/2010

There are heaps of things you can do. Find something you can do that appeals to his interests, without compromising your self respect.
There are many couple's pornographic dvd's out now, nothing too intense.
Couple sex toys can be a godsend if used in moderation. Perhaps go online together and find something you can both enjoy.
Role play is also quite fun. Send him to a bar with the instructions that you do not know each other and replay the night/day you met, or pretend to be other people.
Take him out to his favorite restaurant and tell him, at the beginning of dinner, that you have no underwear on.
Make out at the movies, an oldie but a goodie.
Google is a wonderful resource for finding things to tempt a lagging libido back into full swing.
You could always book a weekend away for just the two of you and try to get the romance back.
Call him at work and have some phone "foreplay" Tease him until he can't wait to get home.
Write a note and leave it with his work things somewhere only he will find it detailing what you want to do him.
The best way to get your man interested again is to take the initiative and do something bold and spontaneous. If it is possible, visit him at work in a coat and nothing else, lock the door behind you and have a romantic, naked lunch, tell him dessert will be waiting at home.
Those are just a few ideas you can try.

As for the bleeding, I could say it was because you hadn't had sex for a year but I'm not a doctor and wouldn't want to give you bad advice there so I suggest if you are worried then you consult a doctor about that.

Hope my ideas help you.