What do you do when a child with ADHD has alot of Anger Issues?

Kristy - posted on 06/01/2010 ( 8 moms have responded )

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Each time my 6 yr old is told to do something he doesnt wanna do by myself or my husband, he always screams.."I Hate This Place!" He stomps up and down the stairs. He cries at every little thing. The sad part about all this, is when he finds friends to play with all the other kids seem to call him names, such as baby and retard. It really breaks my heart that kids are sooo mean these days! He used to tell his dad.."I Hate You" all the time. He hasnt done that in a while. Im a working mom, and there are times that Im not here to do things with him. And when I am here..it seem like he just wants to run off and do what he wants when he wants. Anyone else have these sort of problems with their children? Theres one other thing that I just cant get over, and that is the fact that when something doesnt go his way, he punches himself in the head. Whats up with that?

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Bethany - posted on 08/17/2012

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my brother was diagnosed with sever adhd at 2 yrs old and mum put him on the feingold diet for the most part it helped with the moodyness etc ( www.feingold.org ) that was 33 yrs ago when meds werent given to them and his son now 11 is so adhd and other issues that is to hard to go into, but my bro refuses to follow the diet and gives him all kinds of spicy and artifically coloured foods that im sure he reacts to cos he felt he missed out on that shit when he was young, but my parents care for him ALOT and have him on that diet and he usually settles down, i have been on it most of my life but dont suffer adhd and even tho my son shows no sings of it i still try n keep away from crappy artificial foods, but there are certain solicilates that set my boy off so i usually check packs but these are hard to find on packs, if all else fails try an elimination diet to see if the behaviour changes and get your child formally diagnosed otherwise schools etc dont give a shit
good luck and i hope u find something that works for you

Barbara - posted on 08/15/2012

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I have 6 grandchildren. 5 are suffering from RAD, PTSD ,two are severely ADHD and it is not controlled no medicines are working yet. Two have been sexaully abused. One has defiance disorder, one has OCD. two with learning disabilities and one is developmentally delayed perhaps two. None can sit still and that is nerves and fears and uncertainty in their lives. My oldest grandchild has shut down emotional and has no faith in anyone following through, He loves his parent and wants tome with them but rather do so in a visit because he feels he gets better attention and love that way. he has also learned to play the game when it comes to moms new men( he is on daddy number 3, if new dad likes cowboy stuff he does too, if new dad likes pop music he does too...what ever it takes to be accepted) he also suffers from paternification that is to say he is the acting adult because of the poor choices his mother makes in regards to men and pets and making more babies. He once said he has been taking care of kids since he was 3 and he is pretty much right.
Mom wants the kids because she gets so much special treatment when she is pregnant. She has been warned on several occassions not to have more kids because she is having many premature births in her 76 pregnancies. This really only seems to fuel her desire to be pregnant again because the premature births and NICU babies get her more attention and feelings of sympathy from others that she seems to crave. The babies are also we think in part a way to get her man. She herself is not always truthful making up horrendous stories about her family ( always in a negative) trying to invoke sympathy for a bad childhood that was NOT bad. Even passing the lies to the children who of course do not know better. Perhaps she too had RADS and no one knew of the disorder at the time.

The kids reactions are as different as they are. They do not follow direction. They either act out or shut down if they are pushed to do something they do not wish to do. They say I love you to total strangers, yet some of them act like stiff poles when you go to hug them and give them love and affection. Again being told that they do not get much affection at home and no hugs and such, majority of the time with mom is spent in their rooms while she does what she wants to do. If they are a part of things it is a guilt solver...she gets some remorse here or there and takes them places, or if she needs their cooperation it is a bribe or a promise which usually gets broken. Time with her is often used as carrot on a stick, if you do this or that or if you say this or that or if you don't go here or there, : oh i was going to do this with you but you are going to your dads, oh well i guess we can't go".
she has dropped her kids with many different people for months and years and does little to support them until someone shows interest in keeping them or it comes down to an official agency demanding child support then she gets them back and acts all indignant about how someone was trying to steal her kids. she does not allow them to be comfortable long in a stable environment for sure.
Many of us have called the protective services that are in place to look out for them but no one can do a thing, believe it or not they do not consider this abuse. HE KIDS ARE STRUGGLING AND HURTING AND MISSING OUT ON SO MUCH BUT LIKE PETS i GUESS THE KIDS ARE CHATTEL MOM CAN DO WHAT SHE WISHES WITH THEM UNLESS ONE WINDS UP IN E.R. OR DEAD.
Our systems need to change to accommodate these kids and their needs and to recognize that this a real problem. Treatment needs to be required and if not done then it should be considered neglect.

Cynthia - posted on 06/30/2010

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My son also had ADHD as a child .....However he didnt show all your son s symptoms . My son is a grown man now and I have to say I didnt handle all his behavior very well and yelled alot out of frustration with false threats. I realize now that when I got to his eye level and spoke in a controlled and firm voice and asked him what are you feeling (Are you Mad , sad, whatever the situation was ) And helped him express his feelings verbally without emotion it calmed alot of situations down ,Also consistance is key in everything . Take him to a park to let him run his batteries out ! Be sympathetic Could you imagine if your frustrated ....How full of emotional frustration is running through his little head .Love , Love Love Him ! They grow up someday .....GOODLUCK !

Deborah - posted on 06/29/2010

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My niece was diagnosed with RAD(Reactive Attachment Disorder) when she was in preschool, She wasn't allowed to start taking medication till kindergarten. Kids with RAD share alot of the same behaviors as kids with ADD and ADHD. She had alot of aggression issues, trust issues and everything else that comes with the territory. I know how hard it is to deal with this on a daily basis because at the time I was her fulltime caregiver. We got her into therapy with a wonderful child therapist. With her help we worked out a family plan to help her better handle her emotions, and everything. The therapy combined with a family plan and medication, really helped. Today she is ten and a half, and doing well in school, she still has trouble making friends but she is working on that. She does still get wound up to much but we just give her a little reminder and she has taught herself how to calm down. And I would recommend that you and your husband find a local support group for parents going through the same thing. That can help so much, just having other people around who know what you and your son are going through. I would talk to your son's pediatrician and get the name of a local therapist and maybe some support groups. Also I remember somebody telling me that children with ADHD do wonderful in martial arts classes: karate, tae kwon do, things like that. Hope this helps.

Louise - posted on 06/29/2010

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my boys had adhd one had add and the other still has adhd and odd so i have a list of what thaey could eat and what they cant i even gave a copy to the school so they new as well, wich in the long run it helps everyone,your not alone my youngest is 14 eldest 21 so i had a struggle and still do at times . so if u want the information just say so ,


louise

Heather - posted on 06/28/2010

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My son used to act out when he was that age. They find comfort in structure and routine. We do the super nanny trick of having a routine written out on poster board and posted in an area in the house that everyone can see. Put the time and activity each person in the household is doing during the day. It really helps ease anxiety and frustration for the child to know what every person is doing and where they are when they are not at home, it helps them know what to expect. Have a designated day for grocery shopping, errands etc. When we did this it took only about a week and his mood and out bursts were down to almost non existent. I know it's because of the routine because when we go on trips and everything up in the air and out of the usual he acts out a lot and doesn't sleep well. I also have written out and posted next to the schedule a set of house rules and weekly chore assignments as well as daily responsibilities around the house for each person. When you start this you hold a family meeting and lay everything out, how everything is going to work, what it acceptable and what is not, everyone is in agreement and on the same page. This way he doesn't feel like he is being ganged up on, everyone is going to follow the same rules and follow their individual responsibilities around the house. Hope these suggestions help

Mandy - posted on 06/11/2010

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My son has ADHD we have been dealing with it since birth he was always active even in my womb!! It has been a long struggle with him he is just about nine and its been a challenge but I have gotten a lot of advice through the years through doctors and therapist and people from his school I tell people how he was and get ideas. I know its going to be a long struggle for you but once you figure it all out he will have a better love for life I can go on and on please messange me if you have questions i can tell you all i have done

Deena - posted on 06/01/2010

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I think it's a good idea to purposely look for friends and playmates for your son that will be good role models. Discuss with him what is appropriate when playing with friends and what isn't, before the play date. Reward him with a prize or a treat for playing nicely with friends. Lack of close friends could also effect his fragile self esteem. Children must be taught what is acceptable and appropriate and what is not. His anger issues does put him at a disadvantage but reward everything that you can.Hope this helps:)

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