Tawnya - posted on 06/16/2010 ( 10 moms have responded )
Tawnya - posted on 06/16/2010 ( 10 moms have responded )
Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.Join Circle of Moms
Kimberly - posted on 07/01/2010
You aren't really specific, so it depends on a lot of things...so bear this in mind...NO ONE has more rights than a mother and in some states, a father has almost none. If someone questions your parenting skills, make absolutely sure that you are giving them no reason to feel that way. If they are doing it to be vindictive, then you have nothing to worry about...the courts will do EVERYTHING humanly possible to make sure that the mother/child bond is not broken.
I went through something similar with my own mother...long story...and the lawyer told her flat out...grandparents have no rights...unless it is proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that the home situation is dangerous to a childs well being and mental health.
This all came about because I was getting a divorce and had to put the kids in day care so I could work and go back to school. That's why she felt that I was not being a good mom
Deborah - posted on 06/29/2010
Ok I'm not sure the exact situation here but i have personal experience with this from to different perspectives. My older sister has two girls who are now 12 1/2 and 10 1/2. When they were 4 and 1 1/2 she lost custody of them to our father because at the time she was not a very fit mother. To this day they remain with our father but she has made great strides in being good mother, she knows she can't handle them full time but she is still active in all parts of their lives.This was a situation that needed the courts intervention for the safety and well being of the children. If this is the case for you then maybe it's a good thing. HOWEVER! My youngest sister who's daughter will be 1 in september is going through a nightmare in court right now. She is currently living with the baby's father (strange relationship can't explain it). His mother took her to court recently to fight for visitation. Now you have to know this woman is a little irrational. She showed up on my sister's doorstep unannounced the day she brought her daughter home from the hospital and demanded to b let in. My sister said no because first of all you need to call ahead and second of all she reeked of cigarette smoke. My sister does not want to expose her daughter to third hand smoke. After that incident she showed up a couple days later in the same condition so she was not allowed in. Since then she saw her a few times in the store, had a few choice words for my sister and left. About 2 months ago she took my sister to court for visitation, the judge agreed to every other Sunday under my sister's rules. She has yet to make a visit, been turned away twice for the cigarette smoke and other times just didn't bother showing up. All of this started because she couldn't get things to go her way. But she hurt herself because she went from having unlimited visitation to only being allowed 2-3 visits a month. In cases like this I think people need to handle this on their own and keep the courts out of it. I don't know you your family or the situation here but I hope this helps, Good luck.
Amanda - posted on 06/27/2010
the only answer to your question sweetie, is inside your own heart..If the family does not feel like you are doing a good enough job, look at what you are doing..ask yourself "what am I doing, and what can I do better" do not let anyone tell you that you aren't doing good enough..just do your best..keep your strengths, improve your weaknesses..ask the family..what am I doing wrong that makes you feel that you have to tear a family apart?..Listen to them..and improve..just remember..we all so our best..Kids don't come with a manual, and neither do parents..but read some self help parenting books..it might give you some ideas..i don't know the situation, i can only advise on how to help yourself..be strong and good luck :)
Paula - posted on 06/25/2010
Here's an opinion from the other side. First of all be thankful that your family cares. Many families shun children who have troubles and don't want to get involved. Be willing to ask for help, if the family sees you are truthfully trying and not blowing your finances on alcohol,drugs, partying, or deprieving your child of basic needs, they will be willing to assist unconditionally. Of course there are the whack jobs out their that can't see past their own selfishness but if you are doing your best-----. As the mom of adult children, we have warned our children to choose wisely with their mates and to know if Mom and Dad have to step in to protect the babies, we will. I help care for my grandbabies when needed but our kids are trying to make it on their own and are living with what they have. Forgive the preaching and know not every one is vindictive or self seeking.
Anna - posted on 06/22/2010
Here is my two cents...
Sometimes depending on the case it could be because they feel/believe that a parent is unfit, or the enviroment isn't safe. Some family members can also just be vindictive and want to hurt you. It all depends on who it is, why they want to do it, and why they are doing it in first place.
Sherry - posted on 06/20/2010
It would honestly have to depend on the situation tawnya... As the girls before me have stated there are good reasons for family to initiate court action.. there are however those who are just spiteful and mean.... We don't know what your family member's accusations are nore do we know you personally so this is a hard topic for anyone to give any real advice on without having a little more detail into the sitauation.. I regret that I'm not much help but.... I'd only suggest to keep strong... and pray and do what's best for your LO.. that's all you can really do as a mom
Ink - posted on 06/20/2010
My best friend was in a horrible car accident years ago. The accident killed her husband and left her with her left hand mangled. Her mother in law (the deceased husband's mother) kept their baby girl (age 3) while she was in the hospital. Once she got out of the hospital, she started the process of collecting what was left of her life and trying to start over. When she removed her daughter from her mother in law's home and took her back to the home they had always shared..... Mother in law jumped up and ran to the courts. She was determined to prove my friend an unfit mother. Not because she WAS an unfit mother.. but because the MIL had lost her son and was looking for another chance. She felt that she had more money, My friend was disabled, MIL knew the baby's daddy better than anyone therefore she had more rights to raise the baby than the little girl's own mother.
This of course did NOT fly in court. The judge told her she was insane... and you can not replace one life with another. This created HUGE tension between the families which has NEVER ended. That was all 22 years ago, the girl is 25 now and has babies of her own. At the grandson's birthday party just last month we could all STILL feel the tension that was started so long ago.
I think going to court and attempting to take someone's family apart is just evil. If a child is in danger.. that's one thing, but if it is being done just to be spiteful.... It's not going to work. It won't work in court... it won't work in the family... and it won't work for the child.
Christina - posted on 06/17/2010
ok this is just my opion becouse you did out right ask for ppls opions so here is mine. Mabye you or your spouse are unfit in their eyes like mabye abusive verbally,sexually? or mabye you dont provide adaquate medical care in their eyes ? or mabye theirs other reasons only know to you and you just havent steped in their shoes and looked at your mothering skills so why not just stop and ask with an open mind and heart to see what they feel your doing wrong and ask for help to make it better so they dont take your kids
Lyndsay - posted on 06/17/2010
Ummm... maybe they think that you don't take proper care of your child? I think that would be a valid reason. Just because you had sex and pushed a baby out of your vagina does not mean that you are fully qualified to be a parent. If I was failing my son in any way, I would expect my extended family to step up and do something to help the situation.
Leslie - posted on 06/16/2010
welll because i think they know they fucked up and they think its there right .when we are the ones who made the baby gave birth ect... i think it total bs and i think that no one should be able too thats our child no elses .... i dont see them supporting the baby or anything we are !!