Are there support groups available for parents of children who are terrorized at school?

Shannon Cassidy- - posted on 09/29/2009

Quoting Teresa:

Quoting Shannon Cassidy-:

Thank you Teresa, My husband and I have told him to stay with his two close friends , We have also told his teacher, and his Kindergarten teacher because she saw the difficultie we both were having . The next step the teacher told me was that they will proboly have his parents in. My husband and I want the child to be moved out of my sons class atleast that would be resovled. We are just glad it was caught early enough because I noticed a change in his attitude, and he also told me what was going on.

Parenting is the hardest job to have, which is why some give up.  It takes hard work to be successful.  Calling your job of parenting good enough doesn't make it successful.  I am glad to hear that your son has been removed from the situation, however, it doesn't solve the problem.  With your son removed, the bully will move on to another victim.  When you call to complain about your child being bullied, you have to also speak on the behalf of the bully.  Ask the school to get the bully help, so that they do not end up repeating it over and over again, nor as another statistic to the life of crime.  Someone has to intervene on their behalf if the parents don't or won't, so that the child will know right from wrong and thrive in society.  It is a win win.  They are better off in society and the society is better off too.  Two weeks ago I called the school principle to do this for one of the boys that rides with our children on the school bus.  This kid abuses every little kid on the bus.  The bus drivers can assign seats, but it doesn't solve the problem it is just a temp. band aid, and I told the principle so.  I want to see this kid thrive not dive, and I want to protect society in the process. =)

Your right obviously if both him and his little brother are bullies , its starting in their home children are not born bullies, they learn by  how they live I will see what I can do to help thoses boys. thanks

Barbara - posted on 09/28/2009

Thank you all so much for you love and support. We found the most beautiful dress for the dance, and can't wait for the opportunity!

Teresa - posted on 09/28/2009

Quoting Shannon Cassidy-:

Thank you Teresa, My husband and I have told him to stay with his two close friends , We have also told his teacher, and his Kindergarten teacher because she saw the difficultie we both were having . The next step the teacher told me was that they will proboly have his parents in. My husband and I want the child to be moved out of my sons class atleast that would be resovled. We are just glad it was caught early enough because I noticed a change in his attitude, and he also told me what was going on.

Parenting is the hardest job to have, which is why some give up.  It takes hard work to be successful.  Calling your job of parenting good enough doesn't make it successful.  I am glad to hear that your son has been removed from the situation, however, it doesn't solve the problem.  With your son removed, the bully will move on to another victim.  When you call to complain about your child being bullied, you have to also speak on the behalf of the bully.  Ask the school to get the bully help, so that they do not end up repeating it over and over again, nor as another statistic to the life of crime.  Someone has to intervene on their behalf if the parents don't or won't, so that the child will know right from wrong and thrive in society.  It is a win win.  They are better off in society and the society is better off too.  Two weeks ago I called the school principle to do this for one of the boys that rides with our children on the school bus.  This kid abuses every little kid on the bus.  The bus drivers can assign seats, but it doesn't solve the problem it is just a temp. band aid, and I told the principle so.  I want to see this kid thrive not dive, and I want to protect society in the process. =)

Brenda - posted on 09/28/2009

My oldest son has autism, adhd, anxiety disorder, and ocd. With all the little oddities with in his behavior, he became a target from day 1 in kindergarten. It got bad enough that other children who were bullying him were sending him pictures of what they would do to him (graphic pictures). I tried working with the administration for years, but to no avail.

If he had an attitude, or the capability of seeing things they way your daughter does, would have been a little easier for me. I hate seeing him as a victim, or a 'bully magnet' as he calls himself. He is still being picked on because he can't really help how he reacts to kid's ridicule. I have take him out of school this year to help alleviate the problem, but he still has some issues with kids in our church's congregation.

Thanks for your posts Teresa, they are very helpful. =)

Shannon Cassidy- - posted on 09/28/2009

Thank you Teresa, My husband and I have told him to stay with his two close friends , We have also told his teacher, and his Kindergarten teacher because she saw the difficultie we both were having . The next step the teacher told me was that they will proboly have his parents in. My husband and I want the child to be moved out of my sons class atleast that would be resovled. We are just glad it was caught early enough because I noticed a change in his attitude, and he also told me what was going on.

Teresa - posted on 09/27/2009

Shannon- There are several videos on Youtube: This one was very informative even though it is done in the UK it still applies here.

Shannon Cassidy- - posted on 09/27/2009

I am going through it now with my little 1st. grader he is being bullied in school , By another little boy, My son cries every morning because he doesn't want to go He's not eating because he feels sick to his stomach, I am yelling at him to eat because I know he will feel better, if he does. he's not sleeping , when it starts affecting his health I don't like it , the teachers know about it because we told them what is going on they yelled at him and YES HIS YOUNGER brother who is in Kindergarten is also being a bully. I am literaly pushing him into the school he is holding on to me with dear life crying because he doesn't want to go in. Its very tough I just feel like I am being so mean making him go some place he hates he is only 6 yrs old how do you help him in a situation like this.

Linnea - posted on 09/27/2009

There is a website called Challenge Day where all the kids get together and are taught to see each other as humans. It is a program that gets kids to realize they have more in common then they thought. I don't know of any support groups but you could check into the site. It might be helpful.

Teresa - posted on 09/27/2009

Hi Barbara, I don't know of any support group. I'm sure they do have them; but if they don't you might look at starting one. I think it is wonderful that your daughter has been picked instead of a snooty little popular twit regardless of the reason. No matter what happens, you have to instill her with empowerment. No one can bully her or make her a victim without her permission. If she thinks she is a victim she will act like a victim, and that is the worst state any human being should dwell in (anger, bitterness, and full of self pity). Honestly with what you have said, she sounds like a survivor who knows how to take every opportunity whether positive or negative to use it for good. That is what makes her better than the others. As for you, I think you are a wonderful, loving, protective mom. You have every right to feel the way you do, but don't let the victim syndrome tear you down. You are not a victim and neither is she! Vent, scream, get angry in private or with friends. If she sees you upset it can cause her to shut down for fear of upsetting you. Empower yourself by getting into every school official, teacher, PTO's backside to make sure the cruelty ends. Every school that I am aware of has a ZERO-TOLERANCE Bullying Policy, it is up to you to make sure it is enforced for the protection of your children and others. If your daughter can be a warrior, so can you! Under no circumstances should you or anyone else label your daughter "the ugly, fat girl". Make a promise today, to never use those words again. You must always label it as ignorance and poor parenting on the offenders. She is wonderfully and beautiful made. If God wanted us to all look alike we would, instead he made a "perfect" variety. God treasures the individual over the collective. Your daughter is a perfect example of Christ (kind and forgiving), the bullies are nothing more than white trash devils (sadly lacking an ounce of God). (Laugh about that statement, have an ah ha moment... it is true.) =) You can send me a message through Circle of Moms anytime you want to vent or whatever!! You're not alone, you're never alone! I have stories, but I won't tell them here. You'll be my prayers and so will your beautiful daughter!