Awards in Schools

[deleted account] ( 15 moms have responded )

My son got an award this week for being a terrific kid...for following rules. Please tell me why Chesterfield County Schools feels like they need to give him an award for doing what he is supposed to do.

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Kristine - posted on 01/29/2009

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That reminds me of the co-op preschool my son attended. Parents had to volunteer evey month and I was told never to say "no" and not to correct them when they wrote their name wrong. I told the teacher they had to learn the word no someday because when they asked for a raise the boss usually did not try to find a nice way to say no. I told kids about the names anyways and they came up to me asking as I was the only one who would.

Gina - posted on 01/29/2009

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I think it's crazy too how at my kids school they don't give letter grades anymore, they give a s, or a s+ or s-. They think the old grading system is too harsh. I even live in a very conservative community. I've also heard they are trying to get the teachers to correct their papers in a different colored pen than red, because red is also too harsh.

Kristine - posted on 01/29/2009

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Work in the schools and you will see why. Yes I know it is just something you expect from your child, but it is happening less and less. Kids are very disrespectful to all the staff and each other. The idea is that if kids who are doing what is right are honored, praised and rewarded it will encourage other kids to do so as well.

[deleted account]

I love taking things away from my kids that they have to earn back!  What better way to teach life's lessons?

Lori - posted on 01/22/2009

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My husband used to do a punishment system that his ex-wife thought was too severe, until she found herself doing it herself one weekend. LOL When his son was in preschool he had a habit of biting the other children and was in danger of getting kicked out. My husband sat his son down and told him that if he heard a report about him biting another child or any other bad report he would take away sweets, television and video games until he got a good report from his teachers. First time after he implemented the new rule, he got a bad report from the teacher. It was on a Friday, and my husband stuck to his guns, even emphasizing his point by doing these things in front of my stepson. He's behaved since.

[deleted account]

I so agree. It's the same mentality of taking things away because they are bad for the kids instead of teaching them to have some restraint in their choices. Our schools have removed the candy machines and soda because they must decide for the kids. I was so pleased when I moved to Canada (I'm back in the U.S. now) to see a vending machine with many choices and they were divided by good choice, better choice, healthiest choice options. At least it showed choices and a cognitive way of expressing them instead of making things taboo. So, on one hand we reward kids to supposedly improve their self esteem and on the other hand we tell them they aren't capable of making good decisions. Rather mind bending to me. Soma anyone? ~ Lisa

Lea - posted on 01/15/2009

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That is really a good idea!  If they whine and pout about cleaning their room, they definately should get docked some of their allowance.  It teaches your children young, that if they do not get their work done in time that their jobs will be in jeopardy.  If they halfa$$ their chores, (like shove stuff under a bed to make it look clean... lol) they also should get less.  Sometimes too I think its ok to be rewarded, such as a child doing a chore that we didnt ask them to do, but they did it anyway, sorta like getting a bonus at work for doing more then 100%, but I wouldn't necessarily do it EVERY week, maybe once a month or something, cuz in the real world you don't get bonuses for every extra thing you do, although they need to know that going above and beyond the expected is the only way they will get ahead of the pack!

Lea - posted on 01/15/2009

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That is really a good idea!  If they whine and pout about cleaning their room, they definately should get docked some of their allowance.  It teaches your children young, that if they do not get their work done in time that their jobs will be in jeopardy.  If they halfa$$ their chores, (like shove stuff under a bed to make it look clean... lol) they also should get less.  Sometimes too I think its ok to be rewarded, such as a child doing a chore that we didnt ask them to do, but they did it anyway, sorta like getting a bonus at work for doing more then 100%, but I wouldn't necessarily do it EVERY week, maybe once a month or something, cuz in the real world you don't get bonuses for every extra thing you do, although they need to know that going above and beyond the expected is the only way they will get ahead of the pack!

[deleted account]

Haha.  I hear ya.  My kids are in a Catholic School where there are still clergy running the show.  They get rewarded when they earn a reward and I love it!



At home, they are assigned chores, keeping their rooms clean is on the list.  They earn a "salary" for doing their chores, which is based on how well they did their chores that week.  It is an employer/employee kind of relationship.  They are 6 and 7 and figuring out the concept of money, so it works.  We top them each out at 5 bucks (the beauty of them still being young).  



We work toward their earning and savings goals through handipoints.com, which helps keep all of us on track. 

Shelly - posted on 01/12/2009

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It is so refreshing to hear that not everyone has lost their minds.  We are raising our children to be self confident well rounded children by teaching hard work and good work ethic.  If they don't clean their room well we don't worried about hurtting their feelings and telling them they did a good job when they didn't.  Does anyone feel like you are alone in this?  The majority of the parents of our children's classmates think that we are just way to strict and our rules are unreasonable.  We have a 13 yr. old son and he is truley the only kid in his group of peers without a cell phone, and we often hear from other parents " You can afford it; what's the problem?"  We simply let them know that "we" can afford a cell phone, but our son cannot.  They gasp as if we told them that we only feed our children once a week.

Kathi - posted on 01/12/2009

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OMG! I'm so glad there are other moms who think the same way that I do! I do have a prize box for my kids, and they get to pick a prize when they go above and beyond without being asked to do something. They do NOT get a reward for doing something they are expected to do. Instead they get in trouble if they DON'T do what they're supposed to do. I find it to be a happy medium. This is such a reward-motivated what's-in-it-for-me society and it drives me crazy!! Whatever happened to common courtesy?

Lea - posted on 01/12/2009

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lol, sorry, this cracks me up just a little... this is like the last place baseball team still getting a trophy to avoid disapointment, then as an adult wondering where is my superbowl ring?? even tho their team DIDNT WIN A GAME (hehe Detroit)



or not removing a chair from Preschool games of Musical Chairs to avoid pouting, then an adult pouting at a job interview that didnt get the job because they found someone higher qualified...



the reward for doing what you are supposed to do (like behave at school) would be like getting a raise for showing up to work and doing no more than the minimum of whats required of you... this just doesnt happen in REAL LIFE, so why are we teaching our children this at their age now?  Might as well learn life is tough but going ABOVE and BEYOND is what rewards you in life, not doing the norm and expected....

Lindsay - posted on 01/11/2009

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This is funny because i have been saying the same thing since my daughter started school and people think im being mean.  I don't reward my kids for doing things they should be doing anyway.  I find it pointless. 



I think it started with my age group, i remember getting rewards in school for doing nothing.  They started focusing more on self esteem than actual grades and learning.  So now you have all these adults that are use to getting rewarded for doing nothing which explains the welfare and unemployment rates.  They are passing that down to their kids too.



Now I wouldn't be shocked if they give awards if the kids wash their hands after using the bathroom.

Priscilla - posted on 01/03/2009

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Or getting trophys that the parents have to pay for, when the parents paid for the child to play the sport in the first place. When I was a kid you had to work for these things. When I was a kid and we went to the grocery store my parents would tell me to be good. Not to be good and I would get a prize, just to be good. The reward that I got for being good was not getting in trouble. I believe in rewarding children, when it is appropriate. When they really deserve a reward, not just because they are good at school, they should do this anyway, with no expectation of a reward.

Kelly - posted on 11/21/2008

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hahahahah! totalllllly get this one! kind of like paying them to clean their rooms.

Chesterfield could use a few tweaks. Ray has gotten 100 on every piece of work he's done. We use 2nd grade books at home. They haven't recognized him yet. Well, they do send notes home that he's talking too much. Ummmmm...maybe.....he's bored!!

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