Your position on how to handle bullying?

Brenda - posted on 03/16/2011 ( 64 moms have responded )

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http://www.theblaze.com/stories/casey-th...

My husband and I follow the reasoning behind the 2nd amendment in that you have a RIGHT to defend yourself, in the way you choose, that is appropriate to the situation. We teach our kids that they may not start a fight, but if someone is picking on them, they can finish it, if adult supervision is not attainable.

What's your take?

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Suzanne - posted on 11/10/2011

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When my son was a preschooler he encountered a bully at daycare. I listened to him tell his side of the story. I sympathized with him and the feelings he had over it. Then I explained to him that bullies are sometimes acting out that way because they want and need attention but don't know how to interact with other kids to get it in a nicer way for lots of reasons... family atmosphere ect.. I asked him if he would be willing to try to make a friend out of the bully and he said he would try. I don't know all the details but my son began actively seeking out the bully's involvement in his activities with his friends. Low and behold he wound up with a raving fan. When the bully came very late to his birthday party with his father it became somewhat apparent why the child had problems interacting with others and where he learned it. I know it was lucky that things worked out so well for us and that the same actions don't always bring the same results but I think this approach is definitely worth a try especially for younger children.

Gina - posted on 03/24/2011

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I don't let my kids have a facebook, I don't trust them to have one yet. They for one are not old enough, and I worry about weirdo's friending them and other things, not only that, but they might click on every virus known to man!

It is weird that they would suggest using facebook to monitor your kids, it would be very hard and impractical..... but in all honesty, has anything practical come out of the govt.

Tammy - posted on 03/22/2011

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Mine don't even have one yet. It helps when you're broke. Can't afford all the little gadgets.

Brenda - posted on 03/22/2011

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Amen! I agree with Kelley - there is a big potential for misuse and abuse when the teachers and principals are told they must spy on their students on facebook. Isn't that the parents job? I do it all the time. ;)

Tammy - posted on 03/22/2011

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{Now, back, to the main question... Many wise parents used to say their children, "You better not start a fight - But, You Darn well better FINISH it! " }

Can I get an AMEN!?
AMEN!

Kelley - posted on 03/21/2011

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Just posting in, but what really sparked my attention was the post about the facebook monitoring.
This one I find questionable maybe a little paranoid (I'm not saying I don't believe this, but here's my bigger concern).
BUT from our own facebook accounts we know that 'technically' we're suppost to be able to private them. Just as well we have to accept people as our friend, but there again just because we have a private account anyone can still pull up friends list on ANYbody's account. So then either the teachers are going to have to concertedly make an effort to facebook friend every student or manipulate the situation and say it's required of them as part of the class group.... you see where this is going.
This is not new to the public school / teachr mindset, when you go through all the processes of certification you are expected to be some kind of watch-dog... they began this process w/ child abuse courses... you are expected to report any suspicions of it... this is just another incident where it can and will be turned against good intentions and deployed in other ways.
Now, back, to the main question... Many wise parents used to say their children, "You better not start a fight - But, You Darn well better FINISH it! "

Christy - posted on 03/20/2011

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Hell yeah! My nephew was picked on and beaten up relentlessly (age at the time, 12 and 13) and even if he didn't fight back, everyone was suspended from school for 3 days. So we told him screw it FIGHT BACK! And once he did no one picked on him anymore and he still got suspended. So what the school teaches is that in "real life" , you aren't supposed to fight back? Why are we at war, then? Geez!

Gina - posted on 03/19/2011

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This just goes to show you the mentality of the people making laws in our country, that they have the idea that the child is the product of the state, and don't belong to the parents.

Brenda - posted on 03/19/2011

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I heard that too. Ridiculous! Where are the parents in all this? Are they just chattel that pop out new taxpayers (ie children) every year and they are absolved of their responsibility to actually parent their offspring? Seriously?

Most, if not all, our social problems would be solved if we, as parents, each took our position as parents seriously and taught our children correct principles so that they could govern themselves as well as provide for themselves when they are older.

Gina - posted on 03/19/2011

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Have you heard of the new laws our wonderful govt. would like to put in place to help stop bullying..... now they want teachers and principals to check on what kids post on facebook, and if they don't monitor it correctly, then they can go to jail. I would say that is overstepping it... a lot! Honestly, I know bullying is bad, but the government can not fix all of our problems for us, and if you give them the authority to fix all of our problems, then we are creating a monster.

Gina - posted on 03/17/2011

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I think it's great that he finally stood up to a bully. It seems like once they confront the bully, they will back down.

Brenda - posted on 03/17/2011

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=) From my studies about Jesus cleaning out the money changers, He used the whip on the beasts of burden there for sale, not on the money changers themselves, to drive them out. Once their livestock and merchandise was gone, there was nothing to sell so they got the hint and left.

But yes, there are many stories about prophets leading their people to defend themselves.

Back to the video, I agree - I don't want this to be glorified, but I also have to agree 110% with you about the schools, in general, handling of bullying. My two oldest have had issues just about from day one and I have yet to run into a principal with morals and a spine to do what is right. It's infuriating and that's partly why I started homeschooling two years ago. I was tired of constantly being in the principals office trying to light a fire under him/her to get the solution resolved.

Then you have to deal with the fact that their 'disciplinary actions' against that child can't be divulged to you, the parent of the victim, to be satisfied that the punishment fits the crime because of 'privacy laws'. =P There doesn't seem to be much common sense in the world any more...its maddening!

Tammy - posted on 03/16/2011

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Hey, that's right! Jesus didn't "talk" to the money lenders, he scourage them and chased them out with a whip! That he made on the spot!

Tammy - posted on 03/16/2011

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I'm all for self defense. Maybe if Casey had felt more comfortable with being allowed to defend himself he would have done it sooner and done more of a wrestling pin. But when we tell out kids they can't defend themsleves and they fear reprisal for defending themselves, it builds up until some just snap. If kids were allowed to defend themsleves more often we'd have fewer bullies and less snaping. That includes spines! Holy crud he looked like a rag doll!

I would, however, try not to glorify the well deserved smack down. I also say, don't start a fight, just finish it. That kid didn't fight back right away. The bully had ample chance to rethink his actions.

I was bullied throughout school. One time a boy started hitting me on the bus. I was crouched on the floor between the seats with my arms over my head. Any guesses as to who got kicked off the bus? Let me give you a hint...not him.

Schools are unwilling to do what is neccessary to deal with the issue. A no tolerance policy is easy for them because they can just send everyone home. Instead of dealing with the actual issue.


Bet that 12 yr old bully won't be throwing punches anytime soon;)

By the way, Jesus told his deciples to sell their cloaks and buy a sword to defend themsleves if they didn't have one already.

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