11 yr old son growing up

Patty - posted on 01/12/2011 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My son is wonderful their isnt anything negative i will speak of him especially in his presence but like many of us have teenage kids growing up,and trying to get throu them that their are consequences of making good and poor decisions...I need some ideas on what can be the consequences for his behavior besides no t.v and no computer time,if i take that away he still does it behind my back..

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Lisa - posted on 01/13/2011

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I have a friend with a 10 year old (going on 30). They sit down and talk about what happed and he has to come up with the punishment. Most of the time it's way better than what mom and dad would do. Nobody knows your kids currency better than they do. I add extra chores(mine) and when they back talk me they get 15 minutes closer to bedtime. And when they want something from me I remind them of last thing they did to get punished. I also started family movie night not just for fun. If all three of them blow it for the week we don't get to do it. It works for now. They get on each other to behave. The one who has to most good behavior stickers gets to pick the movie. Oddly the 4 year old wins that privilage the most. You get more bees with honey. Maybe you could add a movie night for your son and a friend or two to encourage the good behavior. I think we are sometimes too quick to punish and forget that WE get what we want more often when we serve up the praise. It's quicker, faster, easier and gets better results. Good Luck

Karla - posted on 01/13/2011

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You could try not doing things for him. My son is younger but when he goes through a phase of not listening or being rude I explain that I cant help or be respectful of him if he wont treat me that way. He has had to make his own meals (even though i cooked for the family), make his lunch or whatever I typically do for him. He is 7 but I am sure there are other age appropriate thing similar to that. When he makes poor decisions we talk about how it affects others. I will make him write apologies (not always to give just to think about it).
I don't know if this helps without knowing what the issues are. I think my son is a wonderful kindhearted kid who would never hurt anyone but is impulsive and can make poor choices.

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