4 1/2 yr old daughter has gone to ready to start kinder and has had additude help please

Sara - posted on 07/08/2010 ( 7 moms have responded )

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my daughter is 4 1/2 and just start a program call ready to start kinder for kids who didn't have the chance to go to preschool to help them get ready for kindergarten she has had even more additude then usual i need help my husband thanks she's feels like she has to compete with me what do i do her and i always have butted heads but lately its been getting worse it's like having a 4 yr going on 13 HELP PLEASE IF ANYONE HAVE ADVICE I REALLY COULD USE IT THANKS SO MUCH

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I agree with Carla. It sounds like your daughter needs to understand that her actions have consequences. Don't get mad at her but simply explain to her that mommy is in charge of the house and if she doesn't want to do what she is asked then she will not be rewarded. Offer her something for obedience such as 1/2 hour of tv, 1/2 of your time for a board game or book, a special treat like going to the park, etc... If she refuses to obey you explain that she loses rewards because she isn't making a good choice. Take away tv, treats, her favorite toy, etc...

Children have to be taught that they are resposible for the choices they make good and bad. I often explain to my five year old that when she disobeys and I have to correct or punish her this has happened because she decided not to make the right choice. It's tough sometimes but you have to be consistant and remember you are the parent not the best friend. You are in charge of keeping her safe and teaching her repsect for authority.

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Carla - posted on 07/13/2010

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Aileen is absolutely correct! We are NOT put here to be best friends with our children, which I see more and more; we are to mold them, correct them, love them. A best friend won't do that

Carla - posted on 07/11/2010

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Each child is different, but with the two grandbabies I tend, I talk to them and tell them why I have made a rule or ruling. So, at 3 and 4, they know they don't run in the street or parking lot because they might be hit by a car. They know they stay beside me in the store because they might get lost (I try not to scare them with child abductions). They know they carry scissors point down because they might fall on them. You get the picture? Sometimes I tell them 'because I said so', just because they have to understand my will is what will be obeyed, not theirs.



It sounds like she's very grown up for her age. Everything is neat, tidy and squared away in her world. Therefore, when you tell her to do something that doesn't fit in with her sense of order or time-frame or whim, she feels she is correct to say no, it's perfectly logical to her. Unfortunately for both of you, she is not mature enough to make her own decisions, and you are going to have to take your little changeling and mold her into a proper adult. That is why God gives us parents. A lot of youngsters feel they know everything, and regard parental interference as a pesky fly that keeps buzzing around their head! They are totally self-absorbed and unaware of having to interact in the 'real' world. These children are a marvel to watch, but they will have problems relating to others if this isn't nipped in the bud. I doubt whether teachers and, later in life, employers, are going to allow her to make her rules and not follow theirs.



A combination of conversation with her, explaining the whys of things and you have to mind because this will happen if you don't is in order.



Good luck, sweetie, God bless!

Sara - posted on 07/10/2010

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yes she totally wants to do to school she loves it she just seems to have more disrespect for me then before she has always had problems with me but it's just gotten worse.patricia is partly right my daughter is very strong willed and she's also has to have things in order she is what you would call an ocd everything has got to be put a certain way and she a big cleaner for her age she cleans her room so good for a 4 yr but she seems to have to back talk to me all of the time if she dosen't want to do something she will flat out tell me no it just kills me i know she needs some more of my attention but when i give her that she tends to get more mean with me i don't know maybe i am just taking it to hard i thought having a girl would be so easy..

Carla - posted on 07/10/2010

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Moms and daughters have butted heads since time began. A lot of it is because most girls are in love with their daddies and feel in competition for them. I was going to marry my dad. Mom asked what about her, and I said oh, you can come along! lol

Maybe you haven't told us enough, but I am not getting what her problem is. Doesn't she want to leave home to go to school, or is it school itself that bothers her?

My 3-year-old granddaughter gets attitude with her mother and me. When she does it with me I put her in the naughty chair for an attitude adjustment. 3 minutes does wonders for the disposition ;) 99% of the time she comes out in a sunny mood. I don't quite know how it works, but it does.

So, it seems like you have two separate problems here: does she NEED to go to ready to start? I would say, if she doesn't need the socializing skills and the little head start for learning her numbers, letters, etc., let her stay with you for the next year. With the attitude, try the naughty chair. See Supernanny, this has brought her great success!

Good luck, sweetie, God bless!

Bess - posted on 07/10/2010

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Our older son, now 5 1/2, never went to preschool either. In our area, we have the choice of not putting kids into school until 1st grade, but K4 and K5 are also offered. Because our son was always at home or with grandparents, he was mostly around adults, so we wanted him to get used to hanging out with kids and going to school for a half day before he went all day, so we enrolled him in K4. The teaching staff is used to dealing with issues of insecurity in young children and were extremely helpful in getting our son to open up and behave with other children. It took all school year, but I feel like he's really grown socially and emotionally during the year. I'm sure all will go well for you and your daughter over time, even if it's a bit rough at first.

Patricia - posted on 07/09/2010

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Sara dont panic you probably have an Indigo child... try home schooling her... at her age she probably wants more of you than school... she may have a body of a 4 year old but an old soul... dont judge her its not much the attitude... am sure she is clever and knows what she want... talk with her... not at her.. if she acts 13 then be direct with her not shout ... be friend her.. see where her interest really lies and support her in that area... all the best...


http://www.globalvillageschool.org/indig...

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