4 and 6 yr old bro and sis are sharing a room...?

Tina Marie - posted on 03/24/2010 ( 8 moms have responded )

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so my 4 yr old girl and 6 yr old boy are sharing a room...they have bunk beds...and it is such a chore to get them to get quiet and get to sleep. it can sometimes take up to 3 hours(strtin at 8:30pm) before they finally get quiet. does anyone have any kind of advice for me???

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Tina Marie - posted on 03/29/2010

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hopefully come september we will be seperating ours....i sure will be glad to do it!!! lol...i have to get them outside and run'em ragged to get them to sleep with-in a decent time frame...i discovered this over the last few nights. i truely appreciate everyone's advice!!!

Patricia - posted on 03/27/2010

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My two are three years aprt and have always shared a room. In the begining the younger one went to bed earlier but now they both go to bed at 8 pm. They very rarely have issues and are out by 9 the latest. I am seperating now just because the are getting older and I refinished a room for the oldest. Will be interested to see how they handle being apart. I think it is time. I have always been consistant and keep a pretty regular schedule.So long as you set a routine and stick to it as well as rules and consequences things should work out!good luck!

Tina Marie - posted on 03/25/2010

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thanks guys for the great ideas....what we usually do is put them both to bed at 8:00 and they get 30 minutes of tv time and then off to sleep. like tonight for instance, we put them to bed and my son(the 6yr old) was give out and anted to go to sleep but my daughter(the 4yr old) just could not stop talking. we actually had to make her go lay in our bed. my son has school in the morning(he is in 1st grade) and he totally understands that if he doesnt go to sleep he will be tired and grumpy and noone cares to be around a "grump-butt" as we call it(lol) so he trys hard to get his rest. its usually more my girl than my boy and since she most of the time has to get up with him to take him to school i put them to bed at the same time. not to mention she will be going to school next year. i have already learned that bed-time before 8pm is too early and any later than 9:30 is too late. when we put her in our bed and him in his own at 8:30 they go to sleep by 9-9:15 but we dont want to get in the habbit of having to put her into her bed at night.

Rebecca - posted on 03/25/2010

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Elizabeth, i was thinking along those lines, but I really don't seem to have much success with the natural consequences stuff with my youngest child ... it's very effective with the oldest, but the youngest one it seems to ... i don't know quite how to describe it, but it's like it terrifies her and i don't believe in using fear to get to good behaviour. my youngest is a much less confident child in general, and i think that even tho they are natural consequences of her choices, somehow she feels that things are beyond her control. maybe i am not doing it right....?

Elizabeth - posted on 03/25/2010

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Unless they have school I would just ask them to play quietly and then when they have to get up early they will soon learn that going to bed early is good because your not tired throughout the day. Again this and other tips I have picked up from "triple P parenting" courses and of course Barbara Coloroso books which are amazing and help understand what natural consequences are in life. This can truly help your children be indepenant and more self confedent which is something we all want for our children I'm sure!

Rebecca - posted on 03/25/2010

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ok, i agree with debbie -- initially i put the younger one down earlier and the older one was allowed a stretch of time on the computer while we got the younger one down. the younger one would settle and fall asleep and then the older one would go to bed -- QUIETLY.

at a certain point (can't remember exactly when) the younger one rebelled against this and wanted the same bed time as her sis. so then we agreed to that, BUT they bath separately (older one actually goes first), while the younger one baths, daddy reads a chapter of a book to the older one lying on our bed and i get the younger one bathed and then read her a story (shorter than the chapter) already tucked into her bed. they get done with their story at the same time (normally around 8pm). the younger one is already tucked in, and drinking her milk. the older one gives good night kisses and climbs up to the top bunk ... daddy gives all good night kisses and puts on gentle music, turns out the lights. i stay lying next to the younger one to keep her calm and to make sure they don't start making a racket. i stroke her in a soothing way. sometimes i admit me and the girls get chatting, but for at most 10 minutes, it takes about 1/2 hr to get them down with that routine (i.e. i am usually out of there by 8.30pm - occasionaly 8.45pm... having had a kinda nap relax myself ... i often meditate myself to create that quiet atmosphere in the room). if they start being noisy i remind them to listen to the music (we have some really great lullaby music on CDs ... check out www.beautifulcreatures.co.za or something similar).

i realise you may be doing it alone without other parent to help. but the key to bedtime for kids is ALWAYS routine - establish a routine and stick to it. sometimes they will play up but not every night, usually not even every week. create a routine, get them to agree to the routine (if need be they can contribute suggestions to the routine), make it a very soporific relaxing routine. if necessary it can involve teaching them actual relaxation techniques -- a bit of yogo or meditation before bed never hurt anyone, breathing exercises to focus on breathing and being quiet, relaxing music, etc.

Debbie - posted on 03/25/2010

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My 2 year old and 8 year old share a room. It's a bit of a pain and all but it works for now. My 2 year old goes to bed 30 minutes before my 8 year old so they won't talk to each other. It seems to work for us right now moving their bedtimes so it's not the same time, but there's 6 years difference for mine. But maybe if you could get your 4 year old down first and then tell your 6 year old that it's a game to see how quiet he can be and you'll rate him in the morning to see how he did or something like that.

Rebecca - posted on 03/25/2010

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have to rush out now, but my 3 and 6 year old share a room with bunk beds and i don't have this trouble, i'll come back later and answer properly!

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