4 year old with ADHD...

Chelsea - posted on 01/06/2011 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I am a mother of 2 little girls. I am not with their father. They're ages are 4 1/2 and 2. My 4 year old has ADHD and nothing punishment wise works for her that I've tried. She is bossy and mouthy and very mean to her younger sister. The biggest problem is she is showing her sister how she acts. My 2 year old used to be such a good kid, and now she's acting just like my 4 year old. Any ideas on how to handle a 4 year old with ADHD without goin crazy?

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Jennifer - posted on 01/07/2011

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At 4.5 it's generally to early to dx ADHD, they generally wait until school b/c there are many things that can effect children at this age. Have you seen a family counselor? We have a great child psych we see w/ our boys (sometimes the whole family, but the 7yo needs it the most) who has helped so much. He's given us tips on how to get the kids to do what we need them to do and what to do if they don't etc.

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Karla - posted on 01/10/2011

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I'm going to agree with the other responses here. My son was 6 last year and his teacher suggested he get tested for ADHD. He is impulsive, and fidgety. However, he is really just immature and energetic. We did not follow through and this year there are no suggestions of ADHD, or requests for testing and his teacher is well aware that he fidgets and gets distracted. At 4 1/2 they would have to be just completely off the wall to diagnose that. I agree counseling is a great way to get to the bottom of it. Sometimes a second point of view is all that's needed, don't be embarrassed or shy about getting support.

Klara - posted on 01/07/2011

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are u sure she has ADHD? The research I've done says they cannot accurately diagnose it until at least age 7. Is it possible for you to have a consistent daily schedule? This is what works the best for my daughter who has some of the traits of ADHD. Doesn't mean we can everyday, but we try to keep things about the same time each day, etc. We also have very clear cut, specific consequences and expectations. If she could read, I would say write them out. Maybe a picture board would help? Definately let her know she is not allowed to treat you that way, or you will have 2 mouthy, mean kids if the 2yo sees her doing it and getting results or getting by with it. Its so not easy. I have an 11 yo and a 5yo. I wish you the best, and hang in there. I'm sure its even harder without a second adult to help. Take care and God bless!

User - posted on 01/07/2011

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I agree with Jen. Most doctors will not give you that kind of diagnosis at age 4. And if your doctor did, you should look for a new doctor, because he is doing you a disservice by telling you she has adhd. Many other things are going on here and I am not sure about what resources you have. You can call your local County office for advice. Sometimes we need a little help and think that you would benefit from some counceling. Kids do not come with instructions! A 4 yr old that is bossy has learned that she can get away with it, or she is getting attention from people for being that way. But you want to give her positive attention for the good, not the bad. Cause even bad attention is attention to a child. Also Be consistent in your punishments. Example, take away a favorite toy and do not give it back till you think she will not act badly. You may have that toy for a few days, and you may even add the next favorite toy to the punishment. The sooner you can help her the better and easier it will be later. Your other daughter will then learn nicer things from her sister. Be strong and get control over this situation.
Can you imagine these two cute 2 & 4 year olds being teenage girls acting like this...... Good luck and best wishes to your family.

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