5 year old son & his kindergarten behavioral problems

Lisa - posted on 12/01/2012 ( 5 moms have responded )

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I need help! PLEASE my husband and I are at a loss... we do not know what to do, we have a very smart, intellectual, shy 5 year old son, he is in senior kindergarten and since he started last year there have been NO problems what so ever. In the last 3 weeks something has changed, I have been getting calls home, letters home, the teachers are concerned because all of a sudden Jayden refuses sometimes to listen to instructions, participate in activities, he needs to be pushed into cleaning up sometimes and we know 100% that is not our son. He is a very go lucky boy and all of a sudden these problems are arising.. what could be wrong??? we have tried everything, talking to him, encouraging him, reward system, taking his fun things away, we are out of ideas.. we have a 4 year old son as well and it is taking the attention away from him and it is not fair! PLEASE any advice would be greatly appreciated! Thank you

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Anita - posted on 12/02/2012

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it sounds like he is withdrawing from everyone for something... it dosent take much at 5 to spook a child, he might be afraid , it could be another child in the class it dose not have to be a new child but they could have done something to make him zone out, go very carefully with it as it may take a while for him to talk and share and feel safe. good luck i have a five year old and he was been bullied by a friend it took weeks to get it out of him. now he tells us he hurt my feelings when he said or did something ,,, at 5 they dont always have the words or can deal with feelings so tread carefully what might seem like miner to us is big to them..

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Pamela - posted on 12/29/2012

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A family counseling session with a professional. Check with Family Services in your area. Start with state/county and get directed to the agency that can help you. There are also many private groups such as Catholic Charities. (You do not have to be Catholic or even consider it to receive their services)

Often, when a 3rd, unrelated soul does proper intervention the problem can be turned around. Sometimes it is necessary to trust others to help us find our answers.

Jeanne - posted on 12/02/2012

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Since 5 year olds can't really express themselves in adult type conversatons or maybe like you said he doesn't want to get someone in trouble, try sitting down playing with him - Transformers, GI Joe, Thomas the train, etc. whatever he is into and after him playing for a while ask him to act out his day at school with his toys and you may find out the root of the problem. This would be good to do on a day a note was sent home..try not to mention the negative behavior before you play out his day with him. I have an easy going son as well and he doesn't open up much even at 11 years old so sometimes I have to creative in getting to the root of what is going on with him. Good luck!

Anita - posted on 12/02/2012

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hi lisa you know your son better than anyone else ... you are his back up when he needs it never under estimate your gut feelings they are usually right .. things will get better take care

Lisa - posted on 12/02/2012

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Thank you so much for your response and your kind words. He did mention a boy that was bothering him before... but he has been telling us it has gotten better but I have a feeling that it hasn't. He carries a lot of anxiety because he hates getting his friends in trouble because he thinks they won't be his friends anymore. It is so very hard...

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