5 year old wont talk

Angel - posted on 02/13/2010 ( 8 moms have responded )

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My daughter is in Kindergarten and refuses to talk to anyone. She has been in school since Aug 09 and she hasnt spoken to anyone but ONCE. She's learning and i know she is.. she comes home doing the things they learned in class songs included. How can I get her to talk to the teachers and classmates?? Any Ideas?

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Katelyn - posted on 09/06/2013

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I went through this as well, in fact my son wouldn't even say hi if he was spoken to till I taught him that its rude and disrespectful not to say hi back...he is becoming more social because I am talking to him about it when before I would just let him say nothing, now he talks every ones ear off and its great!!!!it will happen and when it does its truly wonderful, yesterday while I was in a store with my 6 year old boy we had a conversation just me and him, makes me proud he is talking so much. good luck to you

Debbie - posted on 09/05/2013

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My 4 year old boy won't talk at nursery either he never stops singing and chatting at home but nothing at nursery :-(
He also doesn't socialise either I'm so worried about him.
Any tips would be greatly appreciated

Stacie - posted on 02/17/2010

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Every child develops differently and has a different personality. She may just be quiet and observant. This is something that will come in time with lots of positive praise and as she builds confidence. Don't worry...If you pressure her about it or make it a big deal she may continue to be quiet because she knows it will get your attention. Make sure you have a set time a day when you sit down with her and give her one-on-one, even if it is only a half an hour...If you tell others that she is shy in front of her that could increase this behavior as well... Try confidence builiding activities and lots of positive praise when she does talk to someone. Like, "I like the way you smiled at Mr. Smith. I bet that made him feel really happy. Maybe next time you could say hello to him and that might make him super duper happy!" ... Next time you are out and see someone that you know you could say something like, "Oh, there is Mrs. Smith, I wonder how she is doing today. Let's go and say hello to her." Let her watch you engage in conversation and don't pay any mind if she doesn't participate. If Mrs. Smith asks her a question, DON'T answer for her or give excuses as to why she is not answering, that will only enable this behavior to continue. Adults know how children are and will not think that you are a bad parent because of this. Anyone who does judge you like that you probably wouldn't be having a conversation with anyway. She will eventually speak when she feels confident enough and comfortable. Imagine how uncomfortable you feel when you are under pressure - like public speaking - Yikes! When our little ones first go out into the world and are expected to interact with people besides us it must feel like that everyday.... If she has heard you talk to others about how concerned you are about her not speaking, she may feel like you think something is wrong with her. Let her know she's perfect just the way she is and that you love her... Try roleplaying different scenerios that she may encounter as school while youre driving in the car together. Like, "Let's pretend so and so at school does this - what could you say or do?" and give her different ways she could respond to different sitautions...Ask if you could volunteer or sit in her class a day a week to help her feel more comfortable. Good Luck. Everything will turn out just fine.

Hope - posted on 02/16/2010

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She will do it on her own. I had a similar problem, but my daughter would get nervous and talk gibberish. Don't rush her. I also put her in a speech program at school. She liked the one-on-one better, and she has learned to open up.

Billie - posted on 02/16/2010

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What also helped my son was getting one on one with the teacher. Once he started to feel comfortable, he opened up. We would have playdates and he did fine with the kids who came over and with the other children in storytime at our library. School was the first time he was away from us though. We also only had him go half days in the beginning and gradually had him go full time. We are also very involved with his class. Go with your instincts.

Heather - posted on 02/13/2010

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i have to agree give it time and maybe set up a ply date with another class mate

Lynne - posted on 02/13/2010

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Hi Angel,

I have a couple of suggestion of what you could do.

Go to kindergarten and stay with her for a while to observe which child she doesn't mind to be around or perhaps she even talks about one person positively at home and consult the teacher too.

Organize with the parent of the other child an afternoon at your house for the children to play together.

It is very likely that your child feel the kindergarten is not safe enough to do certain things and to familiarize her you should take it on a gradient, one other kid and in a safe place; safe place is home. This may take a while before she will respond.

You may try different children but very importantly consult your child on it, it is no good the other child turning up, you may coax but only coax her into agreeing to have a child over. If she agrees, go for it.

If she does agree and it goes sour after a short time, still reward your daughter for the progess made and try again, see what she is willing to try.

If this all works, great. Should she be okay on this, she may still have some problems in the kindergarten. Let me know and I will give you more instruction.



Lynne

Billie - posted on 02/13/2010

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Give it time. My son was the same way. Now he talks to his teacher and classmates. I think it was because he felt out of place and he is shy. It took time but he has come out of his shell.

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