5 yr old violence normal?

Kelly - posted on 02/22/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I am working night shift and just called home to find out there has been an incident with 5 yr old Fionna and our cat Mokey. My fiance ran out to his car real quick and when he looked in the kitchen window he saw Fionna pinning Mokey down to the floor and hitting her in the head with a closed fist. Mokey is okay and but we don't know what to do about this. I don't understand how Fionna could have learned violence, I don't understand where the urge to be violent came from, this just doesn't make any sense at all. We are such a loving and affectionate family, always giving hugs, kisses and snuggles. When my fiance was questioning her she apparently said she learned it from iCarly [kids show on Nickelodeon] where one character was doing something similar to another character. But she makes up a lot of stories and I don't know where it really came from. I am worried about this situation, what do you think?

He was away in Boston all weekend on a business trip and has been back two days, now I am away at work. I think that somehow this behavior is stemming from our work schedules and us not being consistently home. I have been working this shift nearly three years and although is it hard on all of us we have never seen her act out this way before. We have had this two year cat since January and Fionna has tried to learn to be very gentle and affectionate toward her. Never showing any sign of resentment. We teach her not to pin her to the floor and trap her in rooms, but it is a difficult process for her to understand since this is our first pet.



We are so worried about this, not really sure what to do or what to think.

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Beverley - posted on 02/23/2012

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chill a little...so she copied something she saw on tv! explain that animals (and people) can easily be hurt and she shouldnt copy things she see's on tv as its make believe, and nobody really gets hurt! at 5 yrs old the connection between play out scenes from tv and purposeful aggression is wide apart.

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Kelly - posted on 02/23/2012

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"giving her more TLCs.

Icarly is a teen TV show, not only the boy and girl stuff is not appropriate for little ones, but also expose them to sarcasm and backtalking. "

We do give her a mass amount of TLC, trust me, she more often [jokingly] runs from me because she knows I am coming to give her hugs.

We aren't putting iCarly on anymore, we don't normally watch TV to begin with.



"The awreness of a 2 year old is very different than that of a 5 year old. "

I have been thinking about this as well



We have been talking with family and friends and contacted a few behavioral professionals and have gotten a lot of great advice on this. Since this is completely out of her character, they are not concerned. We just need to make her understand the value of respecting an animal and not harming them.



"at 5 yrs old the connection between play out scenes from tv and purposeful aggression is wide apart. "

This does seem to be the answer, we just never take anything lightly.



Thank you all for your input :)

Shumei - posted on 02/23/2012

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5 yr is the age when lots of conditions like ADHD or autism spectrum can be diagnosed. I am big on sign watching, and it helps me to stay on top of things.Other than that if she doesn't have resentment or jealousy towards the cat maybe just lack of empathy that could be changed by giving her more TLCs.



Icarly is a teen TV show, not only the boy and girl stuff is not appropriate for little ones, but also expose them to sarcasm and backtalking.

User - posted on 02/23/2012

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Yikes, poor kitty! I am glad that you are not ignoring the signs that something is wrong and trying to figure out what to do.

I think you might be right, this could stem from the schedule you and your husband have. Fionna might be feeling neglected in some way and this is how she shows it. I know you said your schedules have been like this for awhile and it hasnt been an issue before, but also remember that you child is growing and some of the things that she didnt notice before will start to become more apparent as she gets older. The awreness of a 2 year old is very different than that of a 5 year old.

I would start by talking to Fionna and trying to get to the bottom of why she hurt the cat and try to give her the tools to express herself. If tv shows are the cause, then change the channel or shut tv off completely.

One other thing I would be concern about is wether this becomes a patern. We all hate to think about our little angels this way, but there are a very small number of children that exhibit violent outburst due to a mental illness. I dont want to scare you but just want to make you aware that if you start to see things that are really scary coming from your child, you will need to talk to her doctor.

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