6 year old boy social skills

Dallas - posted on 04/11/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I have a boy that will be 6 years old in couple of days. He is single child, and started kindergarten last year. This was big learning and somewhat stressful experience for all of us.



He is very smart, warm and sweet boy, I would think little immature. He is the only child in the family now and has grandparents and uncle that adore him, so he is used to being the center of attention.



Imagine the shock when he joined kindergarten class with 22 other kids and one teacher.



He started making silly noises, and being really goofy, I think he is trying to get attention. He is pestering teachers in school to get their attention. When we have company he comes up with stories to tell guests, and will try everything to be in the center of attention.



How do I help him get over this?

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Tamara - posted on 04/12/2012

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I have a six year old too and also have a nephew who was an only aswell. I can relate to the boy things they do at school as my son has gone through a trial since the beginning of this year (he's year one) also.



In terms of taming his need for attention, I would verbally reassure him that he is loved and adored by his teachers but let him know that they are busy looking after the other kids also and if their attention is on him all the time, they aren't looking after the other kids which means they aren't doing a good job.



There is a series of books called the "Help me be good" series and one focuses on showing off. I ordered it from Book depository (uk site) but I am pretty sure a local bookshop may have it for you or even the library. There are other series like the Learning to get along series which would be helpful to you also - listen and learn is a good one in that series that may be relevant to his needs.



It is a gentle way to help him become aware of his behaviour.



As an only (and I've cared for a few), they can either be really mature and then regress at school or they can be like this all the time. Be assured this is developmentally appropriate for your child but gentle steering into socially appropriate waters is recommended or else teachers may start calling you for meetings (that's if they don't fully understand why he's doing this) and he may start coming home asking questions about why the other children don't want to play with him.



I would encourage him to be social out of school in group activities - probably not organised sport. Maybe a holiday club type thing where he goes and has a carer in charge of a group so that he can keep learning how to act in a group. Maybe a class where he gets a little one on one time in amongst the group ie, gymnastics or martial arts. Something that will allow him to learn and practise social skills and have his need for attention fulfilled.



My nephew who is now 17 was like this and his mum had him in something just about every night. This wasn't solely because he required the need to relax in a group setting but because he was a very active little boy. Going to group activities, even swimming lessons, will help your son to develop the skills to help him feel more secure in the classroom. Every night is a little excessive but if you encourage him to do something once or maybe twice a week that is a group activity with a group leader, then this will help him practise appropriate social skills.



Sometimes little guys do this to impress their classmates aswell. It can backfire on them and be a turn off to others so helping him learn a better way will also help him to make friends easier aswell.





Hope this is helpful to you. It won't take long for him to get the message if the message is spoken consistently and lovingly. Good luck!

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Dallas - posted on 04/12/2012

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Thank you for the time you took to reply to this :) I am first time mom, and trying to navigate through these chalenges. I looked at the book series you recomended and i will definitley check it out.



I already have him in sports activities 5 days a week, and that is helping a little, but it is organized, he needs little bit more free play with kids which i am trying to arrange as well. Both me and my husband are working full time, so that is little harder to do.



Thanks again



Aida

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