6 year old son always getting into fights!

Caroline - posted on 07/18/2011 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Hi guys I really need some advice. My 6 year old son gets into fights and/or arguements all the time and I dont know why. At home he is generally happy and well behaved although there some occassions when he will have a tantrum. My biggest concern though really is the confrontations with other children as it is everywhere we go so it has to be something to do with him and not just other children being unpleasent.
At school his teacher tells me he is generally well liked by all the children apart from a select few who get into fights or arguements wth him quite often. Also he doesnt seem to have any close friends. At the park after school the situation is the same he'll be playing one minute then chasing someone with a stick the next or being chased. Even when we visit my mums house he'l go out to play with the children there and they'l come knocking on the door saying he has done something.
Im at my wits end! I've tried talking to his teacher, talking to him about his feelings and why it happens, I've got him books on anger and how to deal with it that we read together but nothing seems to be helping. Also he seems to be under the impression that everyone else is bullying him and thats why the fights start. He also hates school and gets quite upset about going sometimes even though he's a very confident boy.
Please if anyone can help i'd be extremely grateful!

2 Comments

View replies by

T - posted on 09/17/2012

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I dont have the answer. My son is 9 and it is still happening. I am having him looked at by a peadiatricain soon and have all test done previously. It is really hard to deal with and I cant stand him telling me every afternoon that he has had another altercation.

We use to have the same problems at the park and at BBQ's. My heart goes out to you, the only thing that I do notive is that if you put him with a child that is very well behaved we never have an issue and he is an angel. As soo as you put him with louder children he becomes challenging.



Good Luck xx

Stephanie - posted on 07/19/2011

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I had a friend who's 6yr old kept hitting the kids in the class. After being nearly kicked out of school she realized he didn't know that he was going to be able to play with them everyday. Once he realized this, she never had a problem again. You said that your son doesn't have any close friends. Perhaps that is really what he needs. At this age friends start to be everything. Set him up a playdate and closely monitor them the entire time. Play with them if you need too. That way you can see why these issues are constantly arising. It is often more difficult for oldest children or only children to make friends because they are used to playing games their way by their rules so if someone else wants to play star wars and the other batman they don't quite understand compromise. Perhaps changing the rules of games up on him instead of letting him take the lead will help. (course he won't like it but most learning experiences aren't much fun the first few times.)
Which comes to role play. Pretend that you are a child that came up and called him a name. "what will you do?" Go through this several times. Anger is an impulse behavior, a habit, going over reactions a few times each time something happens will hopefully change his habbits.
If nothing else works try other outlets, football, wrestling, or even better martial arts to help him harness that excess energy...after all, boys have alot of it!

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