8 year age gap?

Ashlie - posted on 02/19/2011 ( 57 moms have responded )

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I am expecting my second child and my son is going to turn 8 before the baby gets here. Is this to big an age gap? Will they get along or just ignore each other? Anyone else have this age gap?

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Becky - posted on 05/05/2011

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This is all so comforting to read! My daughter is 9 . . . and I just discovered that I'll be expecting #2. I was worried about the age gap some, but trying not to worry too much, after all, what can I really do about it?

Casey - posted on 02/28/2011

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First of all, CONGRATULATIONS on your upcoming baby! My hubby and I have a 10 yr old and a 10 month old, so I have been in your boat, so to speak. We made sure to include big brother in as much of the pregnancy, preparation, and even delivery as possible. He was there for sonograms and helped his godmother plan and pull off the baby shower; he was involved in helping with the preparations for the Brit Milah and baby dedication ceremonies at church, and he was there with Dad as we drove to the hospital to have baby brother (my mom was there waiting, so he was NOT in the delivery room). After delivery, he was brought in to help clean up baby and get him to the nursery, and after Dad, big brother was the very next person to hold him and welcome him into the world. We also spent alot of time answering his questions and communicating what was going on. There are alot of sites that can help to show brother what is going on with the new baby while he is growing and developing without being too graphic or frightening for a kiddo. Make it a big deal that he is getting to be a BIG brother, but also expect a little more whininess and need for attention. Let him help with diapers and feedings and bath-time, too. As long as he understands that adding to your family, while being hard work and a BIG change, is a joy and a privilege that lots of families don't get to have.

Sangetha - posted on 11/22/2012

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This site is just awsome realy iam so happy and motivated actualy i am planning for a baby i was realy worried abot there age gaps aftr reading your posts iam realy soooooo happy. thank you

Roxanna - posted on 09/22/2012

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My girls are exactly 8 years and one month apart and they get along maybe 15% of the time. I think the biggest issue is that the little one's biological dad abused me and my oldest daughter. THe girls are now 17 & 9. My oldest told me recently that the reason she wants to move away to college is because she does not want to deal with her little sister. Heart breaking, I know. But luckily no all age gaps are this bad.

Miriam - posted on 05/04/2011

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my son is 8 and we had twin boys 4 months ago.. He loves his brothers he is very helpful with them.He even told me he was glad that one day he would get to be an uncle!! :+) Yes I think there are times when he feels annoyed specially being an only child for 8 years with all the attention just for him, but hes doing great and i think it has help him do more for himself and not expect me to do everything for him. good luck your son will love it!

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Paula - posted on 09/25/2012

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My first baby is 8 years old, and I just had my 3rd, so there's an 8 year gap there, but I think it's great! my 8yr old helps with the baby, he plays with her, talks with her. You always have a second pair of hands around.

Denise - posted on 09/25/2012

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My boys are 20, 15 and 11...when the youngest was born the oldest was a big help!!

Sherri - posted on 09/18/2012

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Well since I have a 9yr age gap between my first & 3rd and a 15yr age gap between by 1st & 4th. I would have to say NO.

Joy Beth - posted on 09/16/2012

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I just had a baby 2 weeks ago and I have an 8 and 6yr old already. My 8 year old is like a second mom but she is very nurturing by nature. She is like that with her 6 yr old sister too. My 6yr old shows a lot less interest in the baby. I think it really will depend on the child.

Ashley - posted on 09/15/2012

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I'm so glad I found this post. I have a 7 year old born 12-8-04 and a baby due 12-15-12. I was so worried about them getting along and with her being an only child for so long how she would feel when she isn't anymore. I am doing all the same things people have recommended like having her help with the baby registry, going to have her there for as much of the delivery as possible (except the actual delivery) - like be there before and right after the baby is born. We also want her to be there to help bathe the baby and be the first person other than me and the father to hold him. We want to do about 30 minutes with just her and us before any other family is allowed in. Thank you all for the wonderful advice. I am so glad this was here for me to read...

Kacie - posted on 09/12/2011

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i havent read the other replies but my brother and sister are 8 and 9 years older than i am. growing up was easy. there was no sibling rivalry because i was too young for their stuff and they were too old for my stuff. i more or less felt like an only child!

Leah - posted on 09/05/2011

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My daughter is 11,almost 12.And y son is 2,almost 3.And speaking fro MY situation....they have the most amazing bond ever.From the moment my son was born they created this incredible bond and friendship.Also,my daughter is an enormous help.I'm glad there is an age difference...

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I have a 6 year age gap. And my two LOVE each other! The little one sometimes gets left behind and gets pretty upset, but we try to distract him, and eventually he forgets and gets interested in the distraction.

Katrina - posted on 04/16/2011

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I think the age gap can help a lot sometimes, especially when it comes to the older child understanding that a baby needs a lot of attention, but it doesn't mean you love your other kids any less. My son turns nine this year and all he talks about is helping out with the baby and making an extra effort at school so he can read to it her.

Shelby - posted on 04/16/2011

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I have a boy that is 8 yrs older than his little sister. He plays with her alot and she absolutely adores him. I also have at daughter that is 11 yrs older and she enjoys her little sister quite a bit as well.

Dee - posted on 03/03/2011

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My sons are 4 years apart. When my youngest was born he wwas very helpful. He is also at the age to understand that he must share with his little brother and knows that he needs more attention. They do fight like brothers would but there is also a special bond between them which I don't think age could ever affect. The jelousy stage was never really there. My oldest only got jealous of other people holding the baby and wanted them to give his brother back to mom, dad or himself. I love the age different and wouldn't change it for the world.

Melissa - posted on 03/02/2011

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My son and daughter are 8 years apart. My daughter just turned 3 and my son will be 12 in May. I think that their age gap hasn't made a huge difference because they argue, play, and care about each other like siblings of other parents that I know who are closer in age. It really depends on the kids. My brother and I were 4 years apart and got along great. There's no way 2 predict these things. We just try to emphasize mutual respect for each other's things, and remind our son that he needs 2 be an example for her and look out for her. They play together as much as they argue. Good luck with everything.

Anaelisa - posted on 03/02/2011

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My boys are 7 years apart. Now they are 14 and 7. They are into different things but they do love spending time with each other. My youngest thinks his brother is the best thing since sliced bread and I have to remind my oldest daily that his brother is much younger than him, but on the whole it works out.

My oldest loved helping to care for the baby when he was NEW! I just wish I would have allowed him to be more hands on with some of the care. I think I should have made it more about the oldest than me and the baby. But, you live and learn and truthfully it has all turned out well for us.

Good luck and enjoy this time!

Eleanor - posted on 03/01/2011

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Dear Ashlie:

I have a 9 year old daughter and my son is 31 years old which of couse make it a 21 years age differn. and although this is a grow man when he gets around his sister he acts like a little kid. I not think you have anything to worry about, I do think your son is going to protect his new sister or brother like the baby belong to him. Good luck

Carolyn - posted on 03/01/2011

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My daughter was born 8 weeks before my son's 8th birthday. He was a HUGE HELP when she was very little, though now they bicker like any other siblings. They do play together and adore each other, but there are times when he wants to do "older" things and she just gets in the way. It was quite a culture shock when she came along because my son was already so independent, but I wouldn't change a thing!

Rebecca - posted on 03/01/2011

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hello well i have a 20 year old,8 year old and a 5 month old..they all love each other very much..its easy to give them all the attention they need and they help each other out tremdously good luck dont worry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kathy - posted on 03/01/2011

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My sons have a 12 1/2 year age gap. My oldest is nearly 19 and in college and my youngest is 6 and in Kindergarten...they get along like all brothers...they fight, they argue, etc...but they have a bond that is unbreakable!!

Kristin - posted on 03/01/2011

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I have two daughters from two marriages. They are 17 years apart. In the beginning, it didn't really matter as my eldest was going into college. As my youngest got older-she's now 11; they got along much better. My eldest of course, is now married and busy, but there are still phone calls.

Krystal - posted on 03/01/2011

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My boys are 10 years apart. My older son gets a little tired of being followed all the time but he's a really good big brother. The baby absolutely adores his bubby!!! I'm sure we'll eventually have some problems due to age difference but right now they're really close.

Flossy - posted on 03/01/2011

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Hey my son turned 9 two weeks ago and my baby is due end of August. We are both so excited about it. What iam doing is making him a part of it. I show him my scans and we read baby magazines together.

Traci - posted on 02/28/2011

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The way your kids interact really depends on how you handle things. I have 3 kids, the oldest 2 are only 19 months apart. My 3rd child was a surprise 8 years after my 2nd, 8 years after I had my tubes tied. I reinforced with my son Adam that when the baby was born he would be a big brother. I got pins for both of my older children to wear the day my daughter was born that proclaimed them to be "proud big brothers". The best advise I got came from my obestetrician the day of my discharge. He asked me, "If the baby needs to be changed or a bottle and one of the older children need a drink what will you do first?" I thought obviously deal with the baby first, right? He actually advised that it would be better to deal with getting the older child settle first because it would take less time than diapering or feeding the baby would and also prevent resentment, that the older child was being placed on a back burner for the baby. I took his advice and I can tell you it works! My children are now 20, 18, and 10, my 18 year old and 10 year old are best buddies! They play video games together, go for walks, watch movies together. My daughter prefers to have her brother put her on and get her off the bus, and when something is bothering her she often seeks her brother out to make her world right. How your son reacts will be based on how well you maintain the attention he recieves now and that it remains the same after the baby. It will be tough but get him involved with helping you with the baby, let him feed the baby or help you change the baby. If it is "his baby" too, your problems will be far less! Best of luck!

Jennifer - posted on 02/28/2011

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I have three girls, ages 13, turning 11 and turning one. My middle child and my youngest are 10 years apart. There seems to be some uncertainty between them but my youngest is only turning one on march 2nd. I say give them time to get used to each other.

Sharon - posted on 02/28/2011

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My kids are 18 years apart. My son is 24 and my daughter is 5, my son loves his sister and my daughter adores her brother, but they have nothing in common, its like having 2 only children, especially since my son no longer lives at home and he is an hour from us. Sometimes I wish my kids were alot closer in age but at the same time they both got my undivided attention when they needed it most, so I guess there is pros and cons to any age gaps

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 02/28/2011

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I have nearly a 7 year age gap between my daughter from my first marriage and the baby that's due in a few weeks, My daughter seems excited about having a baby sister (she has a 2 year old half brother who lives in another state). She even helped me pick out clothes for her sister and wants the baby in her room. Of course this could all be because she's a girl having a little sister. I'm half convinced she thinks the baby will be like one of her dolls.
I don't have any personal experiance because my brother and I are only 3 years apart. I also had a different situation because my brother and I are adopted from different families. I was told we were getting him when I was almost 4 and until I was 6 we didn't know if we could keep him. My grandma and her oldest sister were 17 years apart and her sister was always threatening to put her out on the curb for the gypsies (it was the 20's) if she didn't behaive and in retaliation my grandma stuffed used sanitary napkins in her coat pocket before her sister went on a date. Yeah good times there. Hopefully you won't have to deal with that issue LOL
My fiance and his youngest brother are 6 years apart and my fiance loved helping out with his brother. So I believe it just depends on the kid. Good luck.

Corrine - posted on 02/28/2011

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I have a 7year age gap and at first the older child felt like he wasn't getting as much as attention as the baby but now he realizes that I love him as much as his baby brother. You just have to set some time aside for your older son so he doesn't feel left out. But in the end he will love the new baby and want to spend time with it too.

Lisa - posted on 02/28/2011

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i have this age gap, I have a ten, almost nine, three and 14 month old. The older kids help out with the baby, they read to them, carry them around, snuggle them, etc. At time the older kids get tired of the babies, but then they just go into their room and shut the door. During the summer, my oldest is gone and my almost 9yr old plays really well with my 3 yr old. They do forts and read and snuggle and he feeds her in the mornings if I'm still sleeping. My brother's family is the same way, older kids help out with the younger ones. and kids of all ages love babies. Everywhere I go, children want to pat and love on the baby.

Darby - posted on 02/28/2011

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My first and second children are 7-3/4 years apart. My oldest daughter is 12 years old and my 2nd child is 4. While they argue from time to time now, they love each other tremendously. My 12 year old is a huge help when it comes to her younger siblings (I also have a 2 year old son and an 11 month old daughter). While I alway thought a 2 to 4 year age gap was best...there are definite benefits for the larger age gap. They'll be fine. There will be some arguing as they get older but that is normal among siblings anyway.

Sharalyn - posted on 02/28/2011

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While I don't really have experience yet in how to handle the age gap, you have a smaller gap than we will! :-)

I'm currently pregnant with our second child. Our son will be 9 years and 8 months old when our daughter is born. We didn't plan it that way (multiple miscarriages), it just is. Our son is thrilled and excited and can't wait for his sister to arrive. We have had the worries over him not getting enough attention once the baby gets here, wondering if the baby will replace him or we won't love him anymore, but since he's older, I've found that we can talk it out instead of just having the acting out behaviors like you might get with a younger child.

We've also made sure to include him in all the decisions. He helped pick out her crib and car seat, he helped with her name, he's keeping that name a secret until she's born when *he* will be calling his grandparents to tell them she is here and what we've named her, and when we get guests over, he gets to protect her by making sure they wash their hands before they get to touch "our" baby. :-)

Becky - posted on 02/28/2011

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My oldest is 8 years older then my second one. He is a wonderful big brother. Every AM he fixes the baby his AM bottle.

Beth - posted on 02/28/2011

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We have this same age gap & my older son ADORES his sister. I couldn't have been more surprised by it. He is now 9 & she is 17 months & he is very helpful, even used to feed her when she was a baby. He is always very willing to play with her or help her, or put her shoes on, or feed her. Again - I was very pleasantly surprised byt this!!

Jacqui - posted on 02/28/2011

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i was 7 when my sister was born and I loved being able to 'help' I would fetch her bottle, clothes, toys and enjoy being big sister. It will depend on how you involve your son at the start of the pregnancy as to his attitude to the newcomer. Make his role as Big brother a very important role and he will bloom.

Tee - posted on 02/27/2011

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You should be fine - my kids all get along and there is a gap with all three - they are 18 yrs 6 yrs and 15 months - they younger 2 are thick a thieves and play well together I just have to remind the 6 yr old to not be so ruff since his sister is still a baby. I do have to remind the oldest that he is not her father. The boys got along great when they were little too. Just keep your son involved and let him help as much as he wants so he doesn't feel left out.

Lisa - posted on 02/26/2011

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My children are 8years apart and they get along fine. My oldest son is 9 and my youngest is 1. I think the best way to help with the gap is to involve your oldest child from the beginning with the pregnancy and helping mom with the baby once he/she arrives. This way they don't feel left out of the experience.

Edna - posted on 02/25/2011

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i have a seven year age gap between my daughterr and my new son and she adores him. i think if you keep your son as involved as he wants to be then it should be ok

Kathryn - posted on 02/25/2011

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Mine just turned 8. Don't think we're planning on having another kid for a year or so. We'll have a 9 year age gap. I think it's fine.

Helen - posted on 02/25/2011

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mines is a 9 yr gap between them. it was like having ur first baby again....lol my son who is the oldest is still helping me when ofcourse he wants too. right now he is 17 and she is going to be 8 yrs old. at times they do fight, most of the time they get along.
kids are different. they both need time alone with their momma, so take it easy. good luck

Heidi - posted on 02/24/2011

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I have 3 kids, my oldest two where 8 and almost 7 when my youngest was born. Noah who is 9 know totally loves his baby brother. Who is 15 months know. Hunter ( the baby) totally looks up to his older brother and sister. Hunter loves playing in his brothers room and hanging out with him. Somethimes Noah doesn't want hunter in his room but most of the time they are great buddies. I wouldnt worry to much, I bet they will be great friends. Just try to make sure your son is apart of everything. Let him pick out clothing or get a diaper for u. Big kids like to help out.

Lori - posted on 02/23/2011

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I have three boys, 15, 7, and 10 months. The two oldest ones are usually bickering. Sometimes they can get along though and play well. The two ones love the baby so it has been easier.

Audrey - posted on 02/23/2011

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Hi Ashlie, there is a gap of nine years between my boys and they get along great, they have loads of fun together and share a room. And also share a birthday! born on the same day nine years apart, CRAZY!

Erica - posted on 02/23/2011

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I have a two month old and one that just turned eight. So far the older one can't get enough of the baby. She always wants to hold her and help out with her. I told my older daughter that it will be fun and special for her to one day tell her little sis about how she was when she was a baby. Me and my sis have a 9 year gap between us and eventually the age difference doesn't really matter. I'm hoping mine will grow up to be good friends like me and my sis.

De-anne - posted on 02/22/2011

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There is an 8 year age gap between my 2 girls. I didn't see it as a problem. It just happened that way. They get along well and my older daughter has been able to help me out at times. She can watch her sister in the bath. There are times when my youngest annoys her older sister. I hope both yours have loads of fun together. I have had times where appointments for my little one have clashed with school pick up or drop off. I have had to work this out. Don't feel bad about the age gap. I was happy for ours. My eldest put in an order for a baby sister and got what she wanted. She was so excited. All the best.

Anna - posted on 02/22/2011

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My eldest daughter is 7, turns 8 in July and my baby girl is 8 months - so a 7 year age gap. It works brilliantly, if I was younger I'd have another one with a similar age gap!

She is like a little mum and baby entertainer as well as a playmate. It's easier than having 2 kids a similar age, thjough that may change as they get older and I have a teen and a 7 year old!
Good luck x

Heidi - posted on 02/22/2011

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We have a 6 yr gap and it's fine. Every gap has advantages or disadvantages. Make the best of it.

Tracy - posted on 02/21/2011

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My kids are 16, 15. 13 and 4 so yes I have that same age gap. My kids all love their younger brother and he loves them. They get along (most of the time) and even play with each other. I wouldn't worry about it as long as you make sure to make time for the older one doing older kid things.

Jayme - posted on 02/21/2011

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I have a 12 year old, 10 year old (daughters) and a 2 yr old son and am expecting another daughter next month. Our kids love each other. The girls are a big help with both play and running around to get stuff for me. My biggest worry is not now, but in the future when they leave for college and he is only 8. But now with his little sister on the way I am hoping that won't be as big of an issue. But we know he will miss them when they are gone off to school.

Jessica - posted on 02/21/2011

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mine are 15, 7, 6 and new born. They argue like any other siblings but the older ones are always looking out for the young ones

Mary - posted on 02/20/2011

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Same exact age difference for me.
I have 8yr old girl..and she is a big help..my baby is 8mths now and she loves her alot

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There is a 6 year age difference between my twin daughters and their brother. There is normal sibling fighing quite frequently, but they also absolutely adore each other.

Dawn - posted on 02/20/2011

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I don't think It matters, I'm planning to get pregnant this June and my son Is 9 yrs old. I'm closer to my sister who Is 4 yrs younger than me than I am with my other sister who Is 18 months older than me.

Linda - posted on 02/20/2011

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I have a seven yr age gap between my 2. My youngest is now nearly 6 months and my eldest helps me out by entertaining his brother or grabbing a nappy for me. He always insists on having a brother cuddle before he goes to school. I'm sure it will all change as he gets older but right now he loves his younger brother very much :)

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