8 yr old struggles with emotions and school... need advice.

Bethany - posted on 04/03/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I have a very intelligent 8 yr old boy who you'd think was 10 or 11. He is very smart and ahead of his time and puts alot of pressure on himself. Besides our own personal family things we have going on ( financially, Daddy being sick, a younger sibling to compete to , nasty neighbors, etc. ) he has been having some issues at school. It started last year in first grade around winter time ( here where we live the winters are brutal, tons and tons of cold, dark, and snow) . He never like his teacher cuz he felt she would single him out alot. he would get these cards during the day, almost every day starting that winter of 2010 . He said it would be his entire group at this table that was talking yet he was the only one getting handed these bad cards( where if you get enough of them you start to lose certain privelages).

Then ( now) 2nd grade starts and he gets this wonderful teacher and is doing super fantastic . Once again, winter comes ( 2011) and his teacher gets an accident on school grounds and is out till January. A sub steps in and my son can not stand her. He starts getting these "checks" and just like the cards he got in 1st grade if they add up he loses out on things . He said it was just like last year where he was getting singled out. I spoke to some of his buddies at his table and none of them got written up. It got to the point where he was getting a check like everyday for a week straight. And we never get a note home, a phone call nothing. So now he starts complaining of being sick all the time to stay home and get out of getting checks. cuz when he did(does) he gets grounded too. he stopped putting any effort into his homework. it looked an awful mess, sloppy and careless. He started acting out, cussing and crying about school. His teacher came back in jan. she missed his birthday on Jan. 1 which he couldnt wait for her to sing " happy birthday" in any language he chose. she forgot all about i and it saddened him deeply. ( lil' things like this mean alot to him) She started back up but only in the morning and the substitute the rest of the day . the sub singles him out alot and my son now has these tantrums where he hurts himself when he gets very bothered by something he did. Like he will call himself a loser, or that he sucks , or that he wished he could die and so on . And sometimes he will hit himself in the head or take a pencil and dig scratches into himself while he freaks out. An incident like this just happened to him in school today. I get home from work, pick him up, not one teacher or counselor approaches me ( i still dont know about it at this point) and when my son tells me on the ride home , i check my messages and phone when we get in and there was zero contact. Nothing! Just a letter in his bag. i was very confused. Wouldnt they call when something like this happens?? The guidance counselor asked me for a chat last week about him and all the times he says he is sick to get out of school and that she would like for him to seek some counseling , fine by me. But as long as it is a professional as i feel his school counselor is far from.

anyway, i wonder why he has such problems w anger and school. Has anyone ever seen a child like this ??

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Tamara - posted on 04/04/2012

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Sounds like your boy is under alot of stress. With the things you have stated he has to deal with at home, he is bringing his worry and other negative feelings to school and dealing with it all in negative ways.

I second the advice the guidance counselor has given. I would take him to a professional counselor who is experienced in dealing with children and maybe grief. Anger plays such a huge part in children when dealing with the stuff at home. My six year old son exhibited anger patterns after the death of his paternal grandmother last year and it got him into trouble at school but we knew why he was acting out and we dealt with it.

Sometimes children have such strong emotions that they bottle up inside because they are too scared to talk about it because it hurts so much. My guess is that your son is worried about his dad and possibly the nasty neighbours also. So much has gone on in the world just lately that show how relationships can turn violent and maybe he is compartmentalising this with his own backyard experiences.



My advice? Seek a specialist in children's counseling, a child psychologist maybe even. Get help for him because guaranteed it will only get worse.

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