8yr old a cry baby

Debbie - posted on 08/11/2009 ( 7 moms have responded )

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my 8 yr old boy seems to be falling out with his friends and sits outside when i have had enough crying, the other children are now laughing at him, i try very hard not to interfere but it is hard to see him crying. He crys over the most silly things, like somebody is on his bike and he wants it back. He is a only child and parents are divorced but he was very young when this happened, please has anybody got any ideas to help

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Adele - posted on 08/12/2009

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My 11 nearly 12 year old, acts like a 2 year old sometimes. Hands in the air. (Was I like this?)

Soooo dramatic...

Cynthia - posted on 08/11/2009

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Sounds like my MIL.. Shes. errrrrrr.... With my 6 yr old.. Last summer my daughters friends came by the house and were talking to her. When they didn't acknowledge my sone, my MIL chased them down in her scooter to make them appologize to him.. He could of cared less about them. Anywho, keep talking.. Let him know your there, and it sounds to me like your doing everything you need to be doing for your child..Keep it up.. Good luck and God bless

Debbie - posted on 08/11/2009

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I spend alot of time trying to talk to him about his actions and how he might be feeling, I have told him to come in when kids are laughing or doing something he doesnt like, but at the same time try to mix with them. He seems to shut off when it is something he doesnt want to hear, I have had his hearing tested because he is always saying i didnt hear you! we have sleepovers from school friends to encourage social skills. he is used to being centre of the attention, my mum treats him like a baby with baby talk, and buys him anything he wants

Cynthia - posted on 08/11/2009

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Quoting Ana:

It isn't about the silly things that he is crying over. He is feeling powerless, and that is what you need to address with him. It may be best for a time to have him only play with one or two others, so that he doesn't get overwhelmed. He may be crying out of frustration and feeling like they aren't listening to him at all.

My oldest son, just turned 9 a couple of months ago, tends to be very emotionally sensitive. His frustration level shoots up quickly so we have worked a lot with coping techniques. He has had the occasion to be picked on by his peers and his emotional sensitivity doesn't help.

When you talk to him what does he do? Does he talk or does he shut down and shrug? Either way, you have a chance here to increase his emotional intelligence by helping him to recognize more than just the "default emotions" and give him skills to handle them. Most kids know happy, sad, mad. But how will they distinguish anything deeper or more abstract if we don't teach them. Most kids can learn very hands on...so use these times to help him recognize frustration, aggravation, hurt, rejection, pride, gratitude, joy, grace, etc.

He needs a sounding board and may be going through some emotional growing pains. He is an only child, so he may not be as readily used to having to share the spotlight or share his things/take turns, etc. He doesn't have to do that all the time, so this can be a challenge.

You are right not to "interfere" or try to play into this, but at the same time he needs your guidance and insight. Take him to a quiet place to talk. He may outburst, but once he calms, you may find that there is a little emotional battle going on within him and he is just ill equipped to handle it.



Ana, WOW..



 



This is an amazing perspective on this issue. Its great to hear someone on here that doesn't just go straight to "theres an "problem" lets fix it with a diagnosis".  Your insight is refreshing and right on the nose. I truly believe that children mimic what they see. If your not expressing your emotions and the huge range of them in a healhy way, then how will your child learn to do it.  I'm not saying all your emotions should be seen by him. If your quick to "save" him I believe that it will only further his frustrations and eventually teach him that " Mommy" will be there to pick up the pieces.(always) It will hinder his abilities as a young adult to healthly express his range of emotions. I also have a son only he's six, and I believe that he also reacts to things differently when I'm paying attention as to when I'm not or its not me. They want to please us and makes us proud, yet they also want us to know that even though "they are the big Boy or Girl" they still need their mommy or daddy. I believe whole heartdly in what Ana is saying, there is an emotional battle going on in him. He really needs you to give him the tools to deal with it quickly and move on. Good Luck.. and God Bless.. Keep praying..

Karen - posted on 08/11/2009

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he is sensitive and that may come out to be his most respected trait!!! things that are silly to us may mean his world... as for you having enough of his crying, did you ever sit him down for a 1to1 to let him express exactly how he is feeling? the other kids laughing at him as well as you "having enough of him" may be why he is sensitive. im not an expert nor am i knocking you down but you may be sending him the message that he is only wanted around you when he's not crying. try asking him how he feels, ask him to tell you whats on his mind even when he is not crying... maybe he just needs to know that "everyone is not out to get him".

Ana - posted on 08/11/2009

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It isn't about the silly things that he is crying over. He is feeling powerless, and that is what you need to address with him. It may be best for a time to have him only play with one or two others, so that he doesn't get overwhelmed. He may be crying out of frustration and feeling like they aren't listening to him at all.



My oldest son, just turned 9 a couple of months ago, tends to be very emotionally sensitive. His frustration level shoots up quickly so we have worked a lot with coping techniques. He has had the occasion to be picked on by his peers and his emotional sensitivity doesn't help.



When you talk to him what does he do? Does he talk or does he shut down and shrug? Either way, you have a chance here to increase his emotional intelligence by helping him to recognize more than just the "default emotions" and give him skills to handle them. Most kids know happy, sad, mad. But how will they distinguish anything deeper or more abstract if we don't teach them. Most kids can learn very hands on...so use these times to help him recognize frustration, aggravation, hurt, rejection, pride, gratitude, joy, grace, etc.



He needs a sounding board and may be going through some emotional growing pains. He is an only child, so he may not be as readily used to having to share the spotlight or share his things/take turns, etc. He doesn't have to do that all the time, so this can be a challenge.



You are right not to "interfere" or try to play into this, but at the same time he needs your guidance and insight. Take him to a quiet place to talk. He may outburst, but once he calms, you may find that there is a little emotional battle going on within him and he is just ill equipped to handle it.

Ginnie - posted on 08/11/2009

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Have you considered therapy for him? He may be over-reacting to small things because he's bottling up some other feelings (over family, divorce, etc.) Also, it's possible that he needs an assessment of some kind. I have a three friends (separate families) who have very "over-reactive" children who have been found to have "Sensory Integration Disorder." Google the symptoms. Good luck!

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