am I over protective and do I worry too much?

Nicola - posted on 09/09/2010 ( 14 moms have responded )

18

14

0

hi I have 2 sons 7yrs and 11months. my 7 yr old plays out the front with his friends and goes to the little park around the corner. I can't help but worry about him wondering off. he wears a watch and I make him come back every hour. but what if one day he is late or forgets? what should I do. he is with 1,2 or 3 children around his age and I don't let him out there on his own. what are your situations like? how old are ur children? do you let them play out? what do you do to give yourself peace of mind. he is my eldest so have no previous experiences. we live on a cull-de-sac that loops round there is only 1 way in and out by car and there is a public path that goes past the park he plays in.



any ideas most grateful.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Angie - posted on 09/11/2010

2,621

0

407

I wouldn't let my 9 year old to go to a park around the corner with only children her age. I let my 12 and 9 year old daughters go alone but they take a cell phone and they stay together. I don't think you're out of line, you should be concerned. Maybe you and the other parents could take turns going to the park and watching the children. You will never regret doing that.

14 Comments

View replies by

Sherri - posted on 10/06/2010

9,593

15

391

We live off a very Main St. with two major intersections off our St. so no they can not leave our St. not to mention there are NO kids other than them where we live. So anywhere the wish to go they have to be driven,.

[deleted account]

I think what you're doing is ok. I let my SD go off our street to play with her friends (only if she was with someone) when she was 8. By that age, I was satisfied that she knew how to take care of herself without me going after her. By this, I mean that she knew how to look before crossing the street, knew not to talk to strangers or approach strange cars, knew not to approach strange dogs, etc. I let my kids go everywhere in our neighbourhood (it's residential, quiet and out of the way), but they must stay off the main streets and come back at a pre-set time. I think it mostly depends on where you live and how well you have taught your kids. We need to let them go little by little, to experience their world and do things on their own! (as hard as it may be)

Deepti - posted on 10/06/2010

22

0

3

It seems so difficult in this age to not seem paranoid. I mean I worry a lot too, not just when they are away playing but also about how it will be when they have cope alone , and about how safe this world is. But you know in the end, we just have to do the best we can and I know from personal experience , too much worrying and anxety can spillover onto the kids. My elder one worries easily too.

Sherri - posted on 09/16/2010

9,593

15

391

My children are 13, 12 and 4 my kids are allowed to walk the dog to the end of our dead end St. or play in the back yard. They are not allowed off our St. even the older kids. I can see the whole St. from my house.

Nicola - posted on 09/16/2010

18

14

0

I found his phone. but it doesn't stop the worry. he rang me the other day 15mins before he was due back saying I might be late but I might not. even though he was 30 secs away from the house. so he doesn't understand yet. but at least he has it and keeps to his times.

Ida - posted on 09/11/2010

8

17

2

In dis day and time I would worry da same. Mine do not play out side ma compoud yet da eldest is ten

Nicola - posted on 09/10/2010

18

14

0

Post another commentthat was supposed to say I have misplaced it, not u. lol

Nicola - posted on 09/10/2010

18

14

0

lol. my son has a basic phone but u have misplaced it in moving home. I've told him when I find it he is to use it to ring me. but I'll have to find a way to secure it to him. even if he is just around the corner. but anything to make us feel better ay.

Michelle - posted on 09/10/2010

20

15

4

I have a 8yr old and a six yr old I have just recently started letting my 8yr old play outside by himself with friends..I am constantly a ball of nerves I understand what you are feeling.. I have often asked myself the same question. Although I haven't let him go to the park by himself yet I do not have to be able to see him .meaning he has to be in earshot of me if I yell for him he better come running..hehe. m y situation is a little different we just recently moved to Japan into navy housing so anyone that wants on here has to present an ID but thats not to say someone couldnt just snatch him up and hide him in their home forever (see Im a worry wart..lol) this sounds crazy but my 8yr old had a cell phone (when we where in the states) it had three buttons on it one to call me one to call dad and one to call emergency.. it also had a gps tracker on it the phone clipped to his belt loop so I didn't worry about him loosing it...I loved it. He only had the phone if he is away from his father and I otherwise he was too little for a real everyday cell phone..haha it gave me peace of mind when he is staying at a friends house, so far that is all we have had to use it for because I haven't got it in me to let him go off on his own just yet..your know your child and what he is capable of. If you think he is ready then go for it. PS its hard on my six yr old to watch her brother go out without her but she is absolutly not allowed to or ready to be outside unsupervised.

Nicola - posted on 09/10/2010

18

14

0

thanx for your input so far. I have told him briefly about strangers but I'll tell him again. in out old house he never went out my sight apart from in friends houses with my permission. this this is new to me. I no I need to teach him to be responsible enough. when I was youger about 8 I used to cross roads and go to the shop my mum must have been racking her brains. but she has had 2 other daughters way before me. I feel much better when he is in bed or at home rather than playing out I'm always worrying. I've got the number to a mum who's son my son plays with they are also in the same class at school.

any more thoughts and experiences more than welcome. I have thought if putting a tracker on him but not sure If that's possible. :-)

[deleted account]

My boys are 7 & 5 we live in the country on 3 acres but our road is fairly busy. I don't even allow them to play in the front yard without supervision. I really advise you to make your son aware that strangers can look nice & be men or women. I would also say have him use the buddy system so that way some one would notice or can come tell you if something happens. I don't necessary think he is safe just because he is in a group of children. I am a bit on the over protective side though. When I was 6 & my little brother was 4 we were playing in a fenced in area next to our house. A man walked up to the fence & was talking to my brother. He started to reach over the fence to take him out & luckily our neighbor was walking out of his house & yelled at him & to us to move back. The man ran off & my parents called the police. Being 6 I still had no idea what was going on. I didn't realize that man was going to try to take my brother. Do you think the kids would notice a nice man talking to your child? Or would they continue to play as kids do & not notice him lead your son off by the hand? Or think maybe that's his uncle? Ok I'm back to thinking 7 is too young to not be supervised sorry :(

Jane - posted on 09/09/2010

24

5

2

Have you taught him about strangers and never talking to or going anywhere with them? Plus let him know who a stranger is and tell who he is allowed to go anywhere with, like relatives or friends parents. Talk to the parents of his friends and how they deal with their kids playing away from home. Maybe tale turns watching out for the kids.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms