Am I the only one that thinks that teaching Sex ed in first grade is insane?

Linsly - posted on 04/02/2009 ( 41 moms have responded )

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I received a permission slip from my son's school letting me know that he isgoing to be taught sex ed unless I opt out. I think it's crazy. Is it just me?

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Crystal - posted on 04/05/2009

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Sex ed in kindergarten generally is not about sexual intercourse but education about the differences in your sex (ie gender). It's a health lesson and kids are learning about sexual intercourse earlier and earlier these days. Either opt out and explain it to your child yourself, or you can let them hear about it on their own on the playground, or you can let them go where they will learn that a boy has a penis and a girl has a vagina. Not really a big deal in my opinion, my 3 year old knows the correct words for her and her brother's anatomy.

My kids also know that Daddy put the baby in my uterus where it will grown and thrive until it's ready and then it will come out of my vagina, and that afterwards the baby will nurse from my breasts. When did natural things become so taboo? It's all natural and if you make a big deal out of it you're likely to shame your kids, however if you talk about it matter of factly generally kids won't see what the big deal is either.

Cathy - posted on 04/02/2009

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I guess it depends on the content of the program, I would definitely find out exactly what is being taught, and decide from there.  If it's just the basics of good touch/bad touch and the differences between boys and girls bodies, and the importance of privacy and respect for ourselves and others...these would be acceptable to me.  Find out more from the teacher and go from there.  If they plan to teach them any more than what you've already told him, I'd want to know exactly how much more, and decide if he's ready for this new info.  You're his parent, and you know your child the best. 

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Idella - posted on 09/15/2010

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No but I agree the earlier they learn the better. I have heard 7th graders call their private parts some strange names. I never forget when my oldest was 4 and explained that not only did her doctor have on ugly socks but that is was because she had a vigina and he had a penis. I believe their is no age that is to early. I don't mean start teaching them the joys of intercourse but tell the truth about what hapens to their bodies. Less confusion that way. As for me my mom didn't utter a word to me. She gave me a womens medical book...way to much info.....didn't know the missionary was a position till then. lol. I was in 3rd grade.The school is not teaching them to have sex, but how to protect themselves and as parents we need to be doing the same.

Becky - posted on 08/27/2010

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Depends on how they approach the topic. The act of sex should be left out, but my daughter already developed hips by 5 years old. At 8 she's started to notice changes in her body - the budding, the hair etc. We've had to talk about! But we talk about what puberty means in terms of her body and what she can expect to happen and what's all going to change.

Additional, the word sex it out there! Kids hear it all the time. They are curious. Maybe it shouldn't be taught in school, but parents can't deny that kids at 5-6 years old have heard something about sex and have questions about it. Over this past summer I found play notes my daughter & her friend were writing to pretend boyfriends about wanting to have sex! I was mortified, until I asked her (with no under tones of anger etc) what exactly she thought sex entailed. She did not have a clue. She understood it enough to know that it was something that happened between a boy & a girl, and kissing was involved, but knew little more than that. Being that she's 8 and she's not at the top end as far as her maturity goes, I asked her to next time come to me with questions about it and to refrain from writing or talking about things she does not know. She was ok with that. She has asked a few things since then about it, but again keeping her age & maturity in mind, I stick to simple answers at this point and leave out all the details she really wouldn't understand at this point.

Heather - posted on 08/26/2010

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I would be requesting a copy of what the content of the course is. We have certainly been honest with our children who asked questions about reproduction when friends and even pets have had babies etc. There is no need to go into graphic detail, but an important health lesson, which if approached in a dignified manner, that is appropriate to their age should known. Unfortunately there are too many parents who leave certain discussions too late, and some kids don't have an understanding about what is private or inappropriate, so schools have to step in.

Lisa - posted on 08/26/2010

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teen pregnancies are 1 thing, but 1st grade! give me a break... seriously, ru talking 2 ur 1st grader about sex?!?! doubt it

Mandy - posted on 08/26/2010

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I'm sure the classes will be age appropriate. These classes aren't done on a whim, and are planned very carefully to make sure they can be understood and will not scare the audience it is intended for. Yes children should be innocent but they need to learn how their bodies work and what is normal. At this age it will be more about what body parts are called and possibly where a baby comes from. Some parents are too embarrassed to speak to their children or vice versa, or the parents may have been in receipt of wrong information from their own childhood. We trust our teachers to teach our children everything else, and the majority of them do a very good job. I don't see why teaching them about sex in an education setting is any different from teaching them maths.
Teen pregnancies rates are very high and we can't stick our heads in the sand anymore and just hope our kids won't have sex.

Stacey - posted on 04/07/2009

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I DO NOT think you are crazy. I know personally, I would not want my child learning about that kind of stuff from a stanger. Even if it is good touch/bad touch. My son is going to be 9 next month and I still dont think I want him in a class like that. My husband and I have sat him down and talked to him about whats appropriate touching and what isnt. But any more than that I dont think is necessary especially at age 6. I would deffinatley opt out of the class. Most everyone that has posted has said that he is going to find out anyway. I do not think that is true. He may hear bits and pieces if that even. These kids are so young, that they may feel embarraased talking about it. I would not let my son be taught about anthing relating to sex or touching by someone else. That is our job as parents. Not the schools.

Stacey - posted on 04/07/2009

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I DO NOT think you are crazy. I know personally, I would not want my child learning about that kind of stuff from a stanger. Even if it is good touch/bad touch. My son is going to be 9 next month and I still dont think I want him in a class like that. My husband and I have sat him down and talked to him about whats appropriate touching and what isnt. But any more than that I dont think is necessary especially at age 6. I would deffinatley opt out of the class. Most everyone that has posted has said that he is going to find out anyway. I do not think that is true. He may hear bits and pieces if that even. These kids are so young, that they may feel embarraased talking about it. I would not let my son be taught about anthing relating to sex or touching by someone else. That is our job as parents. Not the schools.

Linsly - posted on 04/07/2009

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Thank you all for your input , it is appreciated.

After looking into it a little more (as some of you suggested) I have still decided to opt out. Mostly because I like my method better than theirs. I teach my son what he is ready for and nothing else. He has known about good and bad touching for a long time now because I felt it necessary since he started day care at the age of 2. He knows he has a penis and where he came from and that he was breast fed, but I can't say I have encouraged him knowing female body parts. He hasn't shown much interest in that yet so until he does I am going to keep it that way.

They are going to start the course by teaching about HIV/AIDS and how it is and isn't transmitted and about having compassion for those who are sick. They progress the course with more detail and the final course is taught in 5th grade.

I have decided that I do not want my sosn's first exposure to the subject to be about AIDS. and I also think he needs to know more detail before 5th grade so I am going to opt out and continue to teach him about sex as he is ready and as he becomes more curious and exposed to the subject. I don't want him thinking it's a bad thing, but I also want him to learn about it the right way.

Oh yeah and for those that asked I live in Florida.

Nicola - posted on 04/07/2009

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Gosh it never occured to me teaching my son that his penis was called a penis would offend people. He is 7 now and has always known the correct names for his body parts. I would say they haven't given you enough information in the note to determine if its going to be a problem but realistically how likely is a school to be teaching grade ones about intercourse rather than body parts names and appropriate touching.

Cathy - posted on 04/07/2009

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Why were you incensed that your child asked you what the word penis meant?  Body parts are not evil or harmful.  The correct names of boys and girls body parts are not something to be ashamed of or whispered behind closed doors.  If you teach your child about his/her body as they learn every other name of body parts - nose, ears, elbows, feet, etc - it will not be so strange or shameful later on.  I really think its completely natural to talk to your child about their bodies and encourage them to ask questions if/when they are ready.

Tamara - posted on 04/06/2009

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I believe this is absolutely disgusting!~ Children are losing their innocense entirely too early. I didn't know about sexual things until the fourth grade, and even then I wish I didn't know. They cannot handle that stuff until they are much older.



But the most disgusting thing about it is they will get the education on the play ground whether or not you sign a permission slip. My oldest asked me what a penis was after her second day in kindergarten. I was incensed!~ If the school is offering it in a manner that is age appropriate and not going to be harmful to your child, its way better than the crap they will hear on the play ground. You know your child best.

Amber - posted on 04/06/2009

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Yes I would have to say that I would aboslutely be mad if my son was to come home with a paper saying that they are going to teach him that. For one children this age are still learning what they have. I dont think that it is the responsibility of the teacher in the first grade or even up to 6th grade to tell them about themselves. They are not their parents. Man if I was in you situation I wouldnt know what I would do. I dont know....

Jaimie - posted on 04/06/2009

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My daughter started with sex ed in kindergarten. They were taught the importance of respecting their bodies, the bodies of others, good touch, bad touch, stranger danger, not a stranger etcetera. They also talked about the dangers of drugs & alcohol. At no time did the school cross the line. I have always taught my kids the correct names for their anatomy. Anything the school taught, they already knew. I think the sex ed in school is a good idea, as long as it is followed up in the home. In my opinion sex, drugs, underage drinking, tobacco use should not be the forbidden fruit. i think the more education they have, the less they will try to find out as they get older. Perhaps I have crossed the line with my kids, but they have a clear picture of HIV/AIDS, some other forms of STD's, they know about teenage pregnancy and the dangers & consequences of ANY illegal drug use (I adopted a child addicted to cocaine & morphiene). I hope I have painted a clear picture for them in these regards as I don't wan't to take any chances with their physical or emotional health. By the way, my daughter is 10, my son 6 (he actually knows very little except names & good touch bad touch) I hope this helps. I know the thought of sex ed in gr. 1 is terrifying, but the school is likely to teach anything beyond their age level. good luck.

MaLaudi - posted on 04/06/2009

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I know you have a lot of responses here... I just wanted to add my 2 cents worth... We homeschool our daughter and we started good touch bad touch in Kindergarten and are thankful that we did cause when she had to go to public school for acouple years, she wasnt shocked nor were we. It also prepared us for the teen years (where she is now) and she and I have a very open almost comfortable relationship when it comes to sex talk... She did have sex ed in 4-7th grade in a public school and we DID get permission slips and an option (which we took advantage of) to preview the material.

We live in a harsh and actually evil time and I believe we need to prepare our children but age appropriatly. Good luck with your child/children and may God bless in your decisions. :)

Hayley - posted on 04/06/2009

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I think children need to know about the good and the bad, so they don't feel embarressed about it at that age they need to know that it is wrong to touch others and to be touch by someone else in certain places and he should come form the mother becfore the school but if you wnat to close your eyes and ignore it then when something does happen to your child you will probley never know beause they didn't know it was wrong.......for example my youngest daughter who is 5 came home the other day and said there was an older boy who is nine sat beside her  he had his hand in her lap and was telling her that he loved her and then proceeded to lay his head in her lap and kiss her hand.. this happened on the bus ride home from school she came right in and told me everything and we went to the school to let them know... I think if we didn't live in an open house that she would of never told me and he could of gone alot further over the school year............another example is from my own personal example is my parents never told me about sex so when I was raped at the age of 10 and again at 14 I did not no that anything was wrong just thought that the was how you play house and the boy and grown man we doing nothing wrong because I had no idea that any of that wrong didn't even know what sex was.............I am big on talking to my girls about everything in an age level where they are if the ask anything I will tell them in a way that is at there age level but I will make sure that no one does anything to them that is wrong

Nicole - posted on 04/04/2009

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My  kindergardener asked me out of the blue "how did the babies get in your belly?" I was not at all prepared to answer this question. My first stuttering, dumbed-down response was acceptable, but I wish I had been more prepared. But it made me realize, kids are smarter then we give them credit for. I would at least look into what they want to teach, why wouldn't you? If you don't think your child is ready or don't agree with it, opt out.  But I have to say I agree with talking to them about some of that stuff that young,  of course, they don't need to know everything. And I personally prefer the "proper" words for their parts.

Kimberly - posted on 04/04/2009

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Whoa, my daughter is in Kindergarten and I sure don't want her learning sex ed in first grade, that is too young

Annette - posted on 04/04/2009

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um i think im going to agree with the mom below me. but otherwise i dont think your crazy.

Lacey - posted on 04/04/2009

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My kids go to a catholic school and they have done family studies/sex ed since kindergarten or grade 1. They centre mostly around family relationships until they get a little older, but everything I've read has been mostly age appropriate. You also have to remember that are children have more risks then we did so being better informed on things a little younger isn't necessarily a bad thing. They didn't go overly detailed in sex ed when I was young and that left a lot of room for curiosity, which I know myself and a couple of friends started doing things much younger then we really should have, and maybe wouldn't have if the curiosity wasn't so high. My daughter is 10 and my husband and I have already had the "sex talk" with her, and about the changes that are starting with her body. I would rather have a relationship where there is no fear or shame of asking about anything sexual, and it's easier to start when they are younger. I agree it's not exactly the school's place to be teaching it, but the fact remains that they are and it's something you can either follow through with at home, or pretend it isn't happening, but your child will hear about it at school and they are doing so at younger ages. My six year old neice, for example, was informing my sister this year that there is a "kissing corner" at school. Started a whole world of conversations for my sister.

Dawn - posted on 04/04/2009

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Hi my name is Dawn, Yes it is crazy that they want to teach our kids about sex ed that young but it is scary out their kids to day our tring things a lot earlyer than we did i don't know about you but I never thought about sex till I was a lot older but kids today are starting around 12 so I here my daughter is 8 and she has ask me "mom what is humping and do u and dad hump" I mean how do u talk to a 8 year old about sex she thinks it is gross and funny so No I don't think they should teach in school about sex cause they are not old enough to understand the concept of why u have sex.

Lisa - posted on 04/03/2009

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I'd be very curious to find out what state you're in as well... 1st grade!?! yes that's completely insane to me.  No question for me... opt out... whether you think they'll hear it on the playground or not... protect their innocence as long as possible... it's taken away to early anymore anyway... let them enjoy being a kid for awhile before you start stuffing all that junk down their throats.

Heather - posted on 04/03/2009

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Quoting Audrey:



What state do you live in? I think I would ask for the information to be sent home prior to him taking the class. That way you can see what it is they are going to discuss with him first. Maybe when you see what it is exactly you will know if you want it discussed outside the home or not. If you opt out then it will be a good opening for you to have a conversation with your son about what the other kids learned at school.






I don't agree with the ages of the children that they are educating. I do agree with having a program though.  I am glad that the children who are not going to get "the talk" at home will learn about it at school properly. Remember these kids are going to be around your kid for many years.  






I think that they should be more focassed on a program about self-esteem, how to tell if people are good friends vs. bad friends, peer pressure,  neglect and abuse of all kinds and innapropriate behavior and language towards peers and other things that relate to children of that age.






 





I totally agree with audrey

Heather - posted on 04/03/2009

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I am flabergasted!!! Because regardless of what you chose, your child is going to hear about whatever is taught in that class on the playground. My daughter is in the second grade and we have discussed good touch/ bad touch and akwardly aobut SEX ( she learned the word o nthe playground and wanted to know if I had it with Daddy, talk about havign to control my freak-out) What happened to childrens innocence?

Audrey - posted on 04/03/2009

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What state do you live in? I think I would ask for the information to be sent home prior to him taking the class. That way you can see what it is they are going to discuss with him first. Maybe when you see what it is exactly you will know if you want it discussed outside the home or not. If you opt out then it will be a good opening for you to have a conversation with your son about what the other kids learned at school.



I don't agree with the ages of the children that they are educating. I do agree with having a program though.  I am glad that the children who are not going to get "the talk" at home will learn about it at school properly. Remember these kids are going to be around your kid for many years.  



I think that they should be more focassed on a program about self-esteem, how to tell if people are good friends vs. bad friends, peer pressure,  neglect and abuse of all kinds and innapropriate behavior and language towards peers and other things that relate to children of that age.



 

Jodi - posted on 04/03/2009

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I would have felt the same way if there weren't waves of incidents happening at the daycare we had the kids at last year. Unfortunately, there are many parents who do not limit the amount of exposure their young children have to sexual content and that knowledge spreads when they are in school. There are some good books/literature about what to discuss with kids this young, so I agree with previous posters - find out how in depth this class will go. If you feel it is too much, at least try to teach age-appropriate things at home instead of ignoring it totally. His friends will be learning about it after all and will definitely talk around him.

Durenda - posted on 04/03/2009

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sadly we are coming to time where you need to teach these kids things at a young age. They are having sex in Middle school now. That is 11 yr olds and such. I would find out what they are teaching and then talk to you child about what they learned. Parents need to be a second teacher. We live in a sad world and too many kids are being touched and not know what they should or shouldn't be doing as far a sex. It is all over TV even the kids networks now a days.

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I opted out. My child had this as well and whether the content was appropriate or not (IMO it is NOT) it is my job to teach my child private issues. My daughter wasn't ready to deal with these issues and some of the things I didn't know til after I was married!! So many "correct" body part names!

Stephanie - posted on 04/02/2009

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I dont think your insane. I wouldnt even check it out, I would opt out. Teaching your children the difference between good touch and bad touch should be done at home. Not from a teacher, or a stranger who is brought into class as a guest speaker.



This is just my opinion, and I hope no one takes offense to this, but if a child, who more than likely doesnt even think about things like that, is made to sit in class and look at picture's, listen to and watch video's...whatever, that may open the door for further issues.



You as a parent, and being around your child will know when its time to have the good touch, bad touch conversation.

Shannon - posted on 04/02/2009

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I think that is way to young I know around here they start a 4th grade. I also talked with my daughter about those thing before they started.

Marcelle - posted on 04/02/2009

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I would agree with Cathy. Find out exactly what they are covering first before opting out. That information will be circulating the playground anyway, so better they have heard it properly from the teacher.

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