am i too old for a baby

Mary - posted on 03/09/2010 ( 69 moms have responded )

2

7

1

i have 4 children but i am with my current partner 2 years we want a baby together but my daughter has a little girl and everyone is saying i cant have a baby cos im a granny but im only 38 can you giv me your opinions please

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Jessica - posted on 03/15/2010

53

8

8

I see nothing wrong with this.... It is your life and i am sure you know all the risks. I would go for it!!! A baby is nothing you will regret, on the other hand you might regret NOT having one!!! Hope this helps~Jessica

69 Comments

View replies by

Teresa - posted on 07/11/2011

709

37

56

Who cares what everyone else is saying? If you want a baby, have one. My great grandma had her last at 50! Though I don't plan to have one then, I am 41 and feel fine with having another. i only have one now, so it would be kind of nice. If those people saying you shouldn't have another one try to give you greif when you do, just remembe there are a billion other people on this world so those few opinions being thrown at you are definately in the minority.

Sarah - posted on 07/11/2011

7

40

0

If you feel the need to have another child that is by all means your right. Granny or not; it is how you feel inside that matters.

Theresa - posted on 07/11/2011

2

21

0

I am a grandma and a mom my son and my granddaughter are 1 month apart and they love each other so go for it your not too old.

Clara - posted on 07/06/2011

64

7

10

My partner and I had been together for 10 years when we decided to adopt we were both 40/41 years old,we picked our 2day old daughter up on june 2,01, our son we picked up octber 24,02 we will do again in a heartbeat!!!! Children are the greatest gift of love you partern and you can do for yourselfs,By the way Iwas a grandma also,what does being a grandparent have to do with haveing more children,It is just a title,you are a daughter,sister,aunt,cousin,mother grandmother,friend the list goes on, So please do have a child or two,enjoy your life do what makes you and your partner happy!!!! Your child is waiting to be born!!!

Susan - posted on 07/06/2011

8

0

1

I had my first when I was 38, my second when I was 40 and my last when I was 42. It wasn't/isn't easy and the last was especially hard on my body, but... since you're the one who will be feeding, diapering and rocking the baby to sleep (etc.), why should anyone else get a vote?

Ruth - posted on 03/17/2010

3

31

0

I am going to give you my opinioin based on my experience. My mother-in-law had 2 more children around the time my hubby and I had our eldest 2. There are great things (like there are always age appropriate toys/activities around when we visit), but overall, I think it has deprived my kids of grandparents. They are so busy being parents, they don't remember birthdays, holidays, etc. It's heartbreaking when my kids ask why they never remember. And for me, as a first time parent, I wanted a "grandma" one who would ask about the kids, gush over them, give advice etc. But mostly she just talks about her own kids.
This has nothing to do with health concerns, which I believe at your age, as long as you have good health care, you should be fine.

Louise - posted on 03/16/2010

2

54

0

If you want a baby have one 38 isn't old if you was 40 then your body might not cope as well but you know how you feel.

Jessica - posted on 03/16/2010

310

12

28

If you and your partner really want a baby and you want to go back to all that then go for it!
You are a granny, but a young granny.
You just have to weigh your desire to have another baby with how much work it is. None of us have the same energy in our late 30s that we had in our 20s!

Brooke - posted on 03/16/2010

31

42

0

If you want a baby, have one while you can!!! I know plenty of women who have kids at this age. There is no "right" age to have a little one. You know yourself best! Good luck

Therese - posted on 03/16/2010

4

11

0

I don't think you are too old. I had my first daughter when I was 35, my second at 37 and just had my third and I am now 42 (she is 3 months). I also have four stepkids, three of which had daughters this year.

Jean - posted on 03/15/2010

2

15

0

You must not live in the San Francisco Bay Area. Nearly all the new moms here are late 30s or older! The young moms (20s) are the ones thought odd in this area. I had my daughter just a couple months before turning 40. Go for it!

Angelina - posted on 03/15/2010

11

53

0

def not "too old" they are just kids, they think 30 is old. if you wanna baby. have a baby

Nanette - posted on 03/15/2010

9

52

1

Who gets to decide whats to old? You physically capable so I guess your not :0)- God Bless

Miriam - posted on 03/15/2010

2

16

0

I say follow your heart. I had my last baby at 34 and I already had a 15 and a 16 year old and had been with my partner 7 yrs, I love my little girl to death and will never regret my decision.

LaToya - posted on 03/15/2010

14

60

0

Are you too old? No. But would it be better to be a grandma now? Probably. Strickly because my mom had me at 35 and it was horrible growing up. She was so tired from work and didnt ever want to do anything with me. But at the same time there are many moms in my son's school who are over 30 with elementary kids so it can be done especially if you are an active person. But just remember you do have a grand baby to love on! Sit down and make a Pro and Cons list... it sounds dumb but if nothing else it may bring up topics that you hadnt thought about before.

Kristin Amber Dawn Maire - posted on 03/15/2010

24

22

5

My friends mom just had a baby and shes a grandma go for it if that what you really want why not your still able to my freind and her baby sister are 20 years apart but its all good every thing worked out for them good luck best wishes

Julie - posted on 03/15/2010

43

2

1

You're 38 and you're a grandma! No way! One of my friends didn't have her first child until she was 36. I say go for it. You're furtile until you hit your 40s.

Teasha - posted on 03/15/2010

13

107

2

if that's what u want go for it..just research the risks that are involved if any.

Rachel - posted on 03/15/2010

1

33

0

Aww, I think you should do what feels right for you and your family. You are a very very young granny!! You know what having kids involves, so you're not in for any surprises. I really believe we are women 'just know' when our family is complete. Doesn't sound like you are feeling that way yet?
Many women wait until they are your age until they have their 1st baby, so you are definately not too old!

Marie - posted on 03/15/2010

65

9

0

im a mom of five children and im preg with my sixth and im 31 yrs old i wonted my last baby early age because my self i think the longer you wait there is more chance of having a child with a lot of problems but that is just me but gd luck with having a baby

La-Nai - posted on 03/15/2010

2

22

0

No matter what your Age if you feel like it I say Go for it :)
Life is way to short to listen to mindless people who are to quick to judge!!!

Kimberly - posted on 03/14/2010

3

22

0

Don't listen to that, Iwas 38 when I had my twins and I was a grandmother after I had them. I now have 4 grandkids and am 40 and am planning on another baby.

Monica - posted on 03/14/2010

3

21

0

um, well since I am just 38 also and have a one year old, I can say you are soooo not too old! I have been in the OB waiting room and have been surrounded with many women our age and older! If you are healthy and you feel you and your partner are ready for a baby, then go for it! I will tell you...it is sweeter this time around. :O) Oh, and I have many friends who are grown have children and then their mom has a baby. It is our generation of blended families...it is more common than you think. Good luck!

Shelia - posted on 03/14/2010

3

16

0

I honestly think it is all up to you...The only cons I would see if that over 35 you may have more health risks to you and the baby...But other than that I believe that if you have love that you can share and bring a wonderful person into this world, then do it. I would not let the fact that yoou are 38 stop you. You just need to be aware of the medical issues.

Sandra - posted on 03/14/2010

5

16

0

Consider all reasons not just age. ( I was 40 when I had my last child. I have two childern) . The fact that you are a granny shouldn't keep you from having more children. I am 50 now. I would love to have another baby. But even if I could I wouldn't. Reasons, cost of having another child, ability to be the mother I would want to be when the baby is no longer a baby. It could be very diffcult for me and more so a teenager at my age. It is difficult ennough knowing by the time my 10 yr old has children I may not be around to help or just to old to help with them or even just enjoy them. Take a good long look into the future and ask yourself , will I be able to love,take care of and handle a 10 yr old at 50, a 16 yr old at 66! If you can and its what you really really want you're not to old.

Grace - posted on 03/14/2010

42

28

2

Hi, Mary

First of all, congratulations on your strong desire to have more kids. I think there are relevant factors to consider. First, how strongly your current partner supports your choice including how strong your relationship is. I'm not saying you cannot handle being a single mother if the relationship ends. It does help to have a good man around the house. If you are both determined to have a baby by no means shld you let those "hypercritical"
people around you affect your decision. If your daughter is so much against it, ask her "Is she after your welfare or her own?" "Is she thinking of what's best for you or for her?". Sometimes, children can be selfish esp when they have their own kids, they have this idea that once they have kids, Grandma shld stop living her own life, stop what she's doing and be there to help look after the grandkids. Is it more because she is embarassed or ashamed to have her own child close to the same age as her would be sister or brother? She may not admit it but at the end of the day, it's your decision not hers. If you're an unfit mother who just like having kids but unable to care for them, then she has a valid concern. However, sounds like you're a good mother who just love kids.

Second, are you mentally, emotionally and physically ready for the challenges of having another baby? You said you're only 38, still young. I believe that risks for pregnancy complications happen 40 up. If your doctor gives you an all clear, go ahead signal then by all means do so.

Thirdly, consider your own happiness. What will make you happy? You said you already have 4 kids. I mean look at the Duggar (did I spell it correctly?) family, so many people criticized and put them down but are these people actually sending them money, feeding their kids etc... No, these people who are so quick to judge are just so good at openning their mouths and passing judgments. Look into your heart, if you believe in God, ask for guidance. If you cannot find support within your own family, there are others out there who will be happy to listen and give moral support.

I think that motherhood is a blessing that should be embraced regardless of age. Any woman who is devoted to becoming a mother, healthy, able and have the means to support and care for the child and raise that child into a good productive person then who are we to judge?

Sandra - posted on 03/14/2010

2

26

0

I was 43 yrs old when we brought our baby gir home from China. She's truly been a blessing to my husband and I. I wouldn't have done it any other way. At age 43 I've got the experience and financial resources to care for a baby. I'm nearly 53 now and still enjoying every minute of motherhood. I say go for it!

[deleted account]

Mary I am 43 yrs old... I was blessed to have my last child JULIAN at the age of 42... At the time I thought I was to old to have a child but God thought I needed to add to my other three children so now I have 4..A set of beautiful twin girls,and my handsome two boys...If you really want another child, go for it...Dont let others tell you that your old.. If having another child makes you and your partner happy, Go for it....... Good luck & God Bless.......

Maria - posted on 03/14/2010

3

11

0

Hi I had my first child when I was 22 but then I split from her father, I met my second husband when I was 31 and had 3 more children my last child was born when I was 37, I find that I have more patience than I did when I was younger and I appreciate my elder daughter more too.

Marni - posted on 03/14/2010

3

21

0

I am not a grandmother, but I had Delaney, now 15 months, at 37 (my husband was 40). Our oldest, Dylan, turned 18 six weeks after she was born. I understand there are risks to the baby (I.e. Down Syndrom) associated with having a baby as an 'older' mother, but the health nurse told me that the risks are mitigated if you have had previous children in the intervening years (our middle child was 4 1/2). Good luck with your decision :)

Kathy - posted on 03/14/2010

2

4

0

It is hard,but not impossible to be a older mom. I had my last wonderful boy at the age of 36. It really doesn't matter weather your daughter has a baby. My mother in law had a child at the same time as her mother . And they grew up to be best friends. It is all on the person who is going to have the baby. The best advice to you is speak to your OB/GYN before you start the process. And make sure that your body is healthy enough to carry a baby . The older we get the more complication that can occur.

LaVonne - posted on 03/13/2010

1

7

0

If you want a baby together, then go for it!! once you hit 40 the higher the risk for birth defects and twins. I am 45 years old, My childrens ages are 24, 21,11,7 and 15 months. I have 4 grandchildren and a grandbaby on the way. Only you know if you can handle the situation. I am so thankful for my children and I often wonder..what did our family do before the baby was born? We just weren't complete. Having our children spread out the way we do, we havent seemed to age as much as a lot of our friends and siblings, they keep us going and on our toes. They are loved by their parents, brothers and sister and their older nieces and nephews. There are advantages to being older parents, you are a little wiser, you absolutely know how fast they grow up so you cherish the moments more, and typically, financially better off. Good luck with whatever you chose!!

Laura - posted on 03/13/2010

2

8

0

38 is not too old at all. Go for it as so many more women are having kids in their late 30's and 40's.

Jaime - posted on 03/13/2010

3

36

0

Hi Mary, this is a decision for you and your partner as it will be your baby, people will always have their opinions. As far as been a Gran and having a baby goes it can work, my mother in law had another son in a second marriage when my husband was 21. About a year later we found out I was pregnant and I had a boy too. Now they are like brothers (fights and all :)) It can work and it is great I get all the hand me downs from my son's uncle. Good luck with your decision and I hope your family supports you with your choices.

Brandi - posted on 03/13/2010

6

28

0

look you are as young as you feel if you feel you can handle a child than screw the nay sayers and do it besides only you know what right for you so if you know itll make you happy well then isnt the only thing that matters

Kim - posted on 03/13/2010

10

12

1

I had my last child at 35 (he's almost 2). Age is just a number. The best person to get advice from would be your ob/gyn. They will know your physical health and tell you what risks are involved with "Advance Maternal Age" - don't you love that term :P It was stamped all over my medical records! Good luck with your decision - I don't regret mine for a second! I have a 9 and 7 year old too.

Meriah - posted on 03/13/2010

1

14

0

Sometimes people say that but it just depends on your body,i have been trying for awhile now and actually had a miscarriage a couple years ago and haven't gotten pregnant since so i say try but just be careful.

Liz - posted on 03/13/2010

11

6

1

at your age i honistley cant see any problems . i had my last child at 38 and had no problems .B ut at the end of the day the finel desion shud be down to you

[deleted account]

My mother had her last baby at 43 so in an age respect i would say your not too old at all. The only advice i would give is to get the support of your other children because if anything happens to you and your partner its them that will have to raise this child. My mother died when my baby brother was 6 and my father died before he was 18 so my sister has had to take him in and raise him along with her kids that are similar ages.

Chrissy - posted on 03/13/2010

4

20

0

In my honest opinion, you need to take all the advice you get with a grain of salt and file it away. This choice is ultimately yours and your partner's, and you should not worry about what other people think. It is your life, and if you choose to have a baby now, the decision is yours. As long as you are aware of the pros, cons, and risks, you are an adult, experienced at raising children, and you are aware of what you're in for. I am 28 and I had my fourth child when I was 24 and had my tubes tied, because my husband and I feel that our family is complete, and I am not apt to change my mind, even if I were to get divorced and move on. So, at any rate, good luck, and remember to make the decision that is right for you.

Elaine - posted on 03/13/2010

35

19

2

There was recently a woman who was in her 60's who had a baby. So don't let other's tell you your too old. That is something that is entirley up to you. You just have to remember there are risks to having a baby at our age.

Elaine - posted on 03/13/2010

35

19

2

Your not too old. I was 35 when I had my daughter. I'm 38 also. I also have a 19, 16, and 10 yr old boys.

Lee - posted on 03/13/2010

7

32

0

No, you're not. Sarah Jessica Parker, Selma Hayek, Brooke Shields, Halle Berry and Madonna had their babies at age 38 or older. And look at the few moms who responded, they were the same age or older when they had their babies.
Ultimately, how do YOU feel about it?

Gina - posted on 03/13/2010

388

6

12

If you really want a baby,who has the right to tell you your too old? See your doctor and go from there,women far older than you have children.Are you concerned your kids wont like it? maybe talk to them but in the end you will be caring for the child no one else[and your partner!] good luck

Christie - posted on 03/13/2010

66

15

10

I had my first at 34 and my twins at 36 and I have to agree ~ I am a much better mother than I would have been in my 20s... I have learned a lot of patience and am much more laid back that I was in my younger days!

Vickie - posted on 03/12/2010

77

20

11

I have a very large family on my mother's side. Several of my Aunts had children that were younger then their grandchildren. If you want another child and are physically able then go for it! It is your decision to make and it is a wonderful thing to be able to bring life into the world (as you know having 4 already).
Good Luck and God Bless!!!

Jullie - posted on 03/12/2010

4

0

0

All honestly be careful. I am an older mom I have older and younger children. I have found the way I deal with my youngest is not always the same. Not because the times have changed but because I have. What was fun 20 years ago is not fun now. My body is older and things hurt more. Emotionally and physically speaking and it does get harder not to show emotions in front of them. Nothing is the same when we were younger. I'm not saying don't cause babies are wonderful but to start all over again is not so easy.

Tracy - posted on 03/12/2010

5

15

0

Do what your heart is telling you. I am now 40 and just had my fifth baby 9 months ago. We are both healthy, happy and thriving and the family is thrilled. She has four older brothers who range from 6 to 16 and of course is the little princess of the family. My girlfriend is now preggers for the first time and she is going to be 42 by the time her baby is born. Women are now having their children later in life and loving it. Follow your heart and your health :) Good luck with your decision.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms