Any suggestions for my 7 yr old son with a cloud over his head?

Jennifer - posted on 09/27/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Hi everyone! I have a 7 year old son who from the time he was a baby (before he could even talk!) seems always to complain. If you were to watch tape of him as a baby you would swear that was what he was doing! Now to the present, he is a very negative child. He complains about most things, thinks he isn't smart or funny and seems to have a perpetual cloud over his head. We have never been anything but positive with him. We encourage him often without seeming fake but he just always says "I'm stupid", "I'm not smart", "No one likes me." This is not constant by the way but quite a lot. He can be a very happy and positive child at times but it is short. He has always been treated with love and affection. In fact one of the rules in our house is that you can never have enough hugs or kisses. He does have a sister who is 14 months older but we do not compare them, they are different children. We also go out of our way to not voice our concerns about his negativity in front of him. Should we talk to his doctor about this? Should I be concerned that at 7 years of age he is depressed? Any advice or suggestions are welcomed. Thanks, Jennifer

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Yes same problem with my 8 year old son. He is sooooo tired and grumpy all the time. We had a great trip for 11 weeks last year and he is started saying all he wants to do is keep travelling. Well sorry mate - normal life isn't about travelling!

We just had some blood tests done but the result was normal. I think somebody mentioned a school councillor, we might try that next.

Oh I just noticed this post was from a long time ago - Jennifer are you still there and what has happened since then?

Debbie - posted on 01/18/2011

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My 11 year old son never really recovered from the trauma of moving from a fabulous loving environment at nursery when he moved to school at 5. Some kids just arent built to cope with the stress of school. If this is the case with your son, he may need help.
My son was the leader of the pack, the most outgoing the most confident the most popular the most friendly etc. Going to school has meant rules and performance to him. I can honestly say it has stifled him.
He did not want the school to help him with his moods and behaviour and under achieving. We got the GP to refer him for youth counselling. We went for about 4-6 sessions and he was able to express his feelings about school and move on a bit from it.
Whatever it is I would absolutely advocate for counselling of some form.
I was shocked at how fatalistic my son felt about not being able to change anything. This started to manifest at school and home from about aged 7. For years we tried to work with the school to improve his performance and behaviour as he would not apply himself. This reinforced his feelings of powerlessness. Now we work together him and I and he has his last year at this school. We are hoping for a fresh start again when he goes on to secondary school.
By the way my son is very intelligent and very mature for his 11 years. That is half the trouble with some kids. They just dont fit in some places.
It has been so hard for me to watch my son suffer through this as I loved school but that was when children were allowed to just BE.
Good Luck

April - posted on 09/27/2009

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It sounds like you are doing everything right by keeping his environment positive and his interactions positive. Have you asked him what might be bothering him? Have you looked into what may be going on other places, like school, babysitter etc? As a parent we know our children better than we know ourselves, if you think that something is really up with him I would take him to the doctor. It's never too early to explore the possiblites. If there is something there then maybe it can be corrected before he gets much older. If there isn't something there and he outgrows it, then maybe talking to a doctor can help you understand what triggered these behaviors. Children can be depressed for reasons that we may not understand... they dwell on the small stuff like "is mommy and daddy going to die? or "I have blond hair and all my friends have brown hair, there must be something wrong with me"

Brodie - posted on 09/27/2009

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My son is six years old and i am having alot of negativity issues with him also. He seems to like to get the attention for being upset. which i always remind him isn't a good way to get attention and if he wants attention he needs to just come ask for a hug, or to read a book. most of the time he's also a very kind, happy caring little boy. i have gone to his doctor in this case, because Nicolas' teachers were noticing this too. one thing they said is that he could be depressed. but it might be something really really small or superficial to us... but to them it's a bomb. the problem is trying to figure out what that bomb is.. lol. i think it's best to talk to his doctor, because at least you can find out some ways to work on his confidence or give him ideas on other ways to express himself!! good luck!!

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