At what age do you bring up menstration ?

Elizabeth - posted on 11/07/2011 ( 50 moms have responded )

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My little girl is 10 years old. I'm not sure that she is ready yet, but I don't want her to start her cycles and be scared. I was scared when I started. I was 13. My friend's have daughters that have started as young as 10. Should I bring it up now or wait another year?

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Katherine - posted on 11/08/2011

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Hello Elizabeth,
My daughter is 9 yrs old and she started to show signs of needing bras and other stuff. I sat down with her and explained to her that her body is changing and you are becoming a young woman. I went into telling her that she is showing the signs that her period will start soon and I bought her pads for her age group for when it happens we are prepared. My daughter was not scared. Her friend at school had started her period and brought that to my attention. It was not akward at all talking to her about this it was like any other conversation we have. My mom never had the talk with me and like you I was scared when i started at 13. I promised myself to always inform my girls on things that they need to know the momnet i start seeing signs for that issue. I would say to bring it up and explain it to her. and have pads ready for her so you are not unprepared. better safe than sorry.Plus if you do i t now befroe it happens it just shows your daughter that she can go to you for anything and not feel uncomfortable.

Michelle - posted on 11/07/2011

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First of all I noticed she was developing. I told her so and she was thrilled and ran into her bedroom with her hands on her chest lol. I actually found a very good website written specifically for kids between 6 and 12 that explained puberty. http://www.cyh.com/HealthTopics/HealthTo...
The website also covers menstration. I suggested she read it and then ask me questions (ok it was a bit of a easy way out really). Any questions she asks I just answer truthfully and as simply as possible. I also explain that menstration can sometimes feel quite horrid but there are things to help with that. She is very hormonal at the moment and sometimes cries for no reason. I just give her cuddles and comfort her. I've kept the relevant pages on my favourites list on the computer so she can re-read it anytime she wants to. Good luck with this as it's definately not an easy subject. You'd think it would be after us all having to go through it ourselves lol

Denikka - posted on 11/07/2011

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Definitely bring it up now. The longer she has to prepare herself and the more information she has, the less scary it will be.
I know that I had about 3 years to prepare myself. I had a couple different books, lots of info, I knew exactly what was going to happen and what to expect. Still scared the jeebers outta me the first time XD.
No harm in teller her now. I actually would have probably started closer to 8 or 9 personally :)

Jennie - posted on 11/16/2011

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I agree with Denikka. My daughter is 16 now and we talked about it and I showed what different products were what when she was at least 8. Told her what to do if it happened in school. One day I went into the bathroom and noticed the garbage had wrappers in it and they were not mine. I walked into her room and asked her if she started her period and her response was funny. She said DUH...and when I asked her why she didn't tell me she responded with, because you prepared me enough to not be scared!!

Casey - posted on 11/07/2011

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What I'm dead serious, she's not dating till she's 30 either! She turns 7 next year and I can't believe how fast it all goes!! Stop and rewind please!!

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Tiffany - posted on 12/17/2011

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Well I started mine at 12 years old and was scared that no one talked to me about it. My daughter is 7 years old and started asking questions a few months back. So my husband and I decided it was time to talk to her. Better to talk to her before she starts or hears wrong information from school mates.

Tara - posted on 12/06/2011

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I took my 10 yr old to the dr for a sore throat 3 weeks ago, they asked if she had periods yet, I told them no. We got to the car after the apointment and the first words out of her mouth were "whats a period?". We talked about it, and thats been the last of it so far. A lot of these ladies are right, bring it up get her the info, better you bring it up than be put on the spot.

Sherri - posted on 12/02/2011

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Personally by 8 or 9. I had already started by the time I was 10 1/2 so I would start NOW for sure.

La Kesha - posted on 12/02/2011

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Personally, I feel we should start at around 9-10 years, maybe younger depending if they have older siblings who are menstruating. I have one that started at 12years and my now 10yr. old thinks she has begun. So we sat down and talked and shared information.

Joyi - posted on 11/28/2011

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I am surprised that she has not asked about it. My daughter is six and has asked all the basic questions already... AND much to my embarrassment, I started once - unexpectedly while we were shopping and she noticed. She had already asked lots of questions about babies and where they come from, etc... so when she asked about my menstruating, I told her that a woman's body had to make a home that the baby can be healthy in. And if for some reason a baby does not come to the home - the body builds a new one, because the home for a baby has to be very special. But the old one has to be gotten rid of and the body does that with menstruation. It looks a whole lot scarier than it really is, etc... My daughter was very content with that answer and seems to have no fear at all. I mean - the whole "home for the baby" is probably not needed for a ten-year-old, but my daughter asked when she was six... so kind of comparing it to a nest helped her understand. I think the understanding is why she is not afraid.

Alicia - posted on 11/28/2011

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yes, you should probably should have done this before. My daughter is 9 years old and at the age of 6 she new of a cycle because children are growing up so quickly and hearing these things within the schools. My advise to you sit and have a mother and daughter talk with your daughter.

Judie - posted on 11/27/2011

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My daughter started her periods at the age of 10, I have mentioned it to you that she was going to become a young lady. The things I noticed (because I have 2 step daughters as well as 2 of my own daughters) are the can be moody for months before they start even have PMS signs. My daugters breasts started to change before her period actually started too. I had my first period at 10 and my mother did not explain anything to me I am 37 now and her lack of explaining and preparing me I am still bitter over. When my youngest daughter turns 10 I will start talking to her shes almost 8 i have a little bit of time. I would talk to her here and there not too intense that might be overwhelming. Hope this helps.

Amy - posted on 11/27/2011

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My daughter is 10 and we just bought the Care & Keeping of You book. I honestly do not remember ever having the talk with mother and do not want my dd to be unprepared. She is already wearing a training bra and we are very open and honest with her if she has questions. I do think it depends on your child. I did ask my sister when my niece started her menses just so I was prepared. I also asked my sister in law when she started her menses. We were all 13-14 years old and so was my niece. So I hope to have a few more years before it begins.

Anjeanett - posted on 11/23/2011

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I started at 9, so I have already talked to my 9 year old. The Care and Keeping of You is good, and the first 5 chapters of Girl Talk is good too. I kind of did the same as another mom by having her read, and then ask me questions. She also has some pads in her bookbag in case she starts at school.

Andrea - posted on 11/21/2011

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You should have that talk NOW! I got my period when I was 9 and had no idea what was going on. I'm so glad I never had to have that talk with my sons. They had sex ed classes in 5th grade, then their dad talked to them afterwards to answer any questions.

Michele - posted on 11/20/2011

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I would definitely have that talk now. My daughter was in the 5th grade when the school gave them a class on girl issues like menstation and hygiene. I think 10 is a very appropriate age to explain to a child how the body works. When I was in elementary school I had a friend who started her period at school in the 2nd grade (age8) we all freaked because we had no inkling of an idea about it. Kids seem to be starting much younger then they did when I was young, so it's important to teach them age appropriately about the changes they could be having now or soon. I always say it's better they hear it from me, taught the way I want it taugh then possibly get misinformation from someone else. Good Luck!!

Enid - posted on 11/18/2011

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It is very scary to even think about. We as mother know that it normally starts at age 13, but times have changed lately. Girls at the age of 8 have already started their menstrual cycle. My daughter is 9 years old and I don't know what to do either.

Denikka - posted on 11/16/2011

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OMG Jennie, I lol'd at that XD
Obviously you did something right there XD but that is just too funny!!

LEAH - posted on 11/15/2011

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My daughter is almost seven and we will be having the discussion very soon. The period book as well as the care and keeping of you are gret books!

I remember years ago there was a book that our nurse gave us,. If I remember correctly is was like a series of discussions or journal entries. I can not remember the name of this book to save my life.

Anyway, good luck with the convo! I'm sure you will do just fine!

Aniesha - posted on 11/15/2011

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I'd bring it up sooner rather than later. My Mum wasn't told anything, and she thought she was dying when she started hers. She told me when I was about 9, and I started at 10. I'm really grateful to her though for preparing me.

Rikki - posted on 11/15/2011

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Always be open and honest with your kids, it makes all talks a lot easier. I have a 10 yr old girl and soon to be 8 yr old boy, and they both know what happens during mentration. You don't want to hide anything from them because then they will feel like it is something to be embarrassed about. My kids know it is just another part if life. I especially wanted my son to be included because most boys/men are "scared" or "embarrassed" to even touch on that subject, lol. I wanted to make sure he was going to be empathetic toward girls/women. I grew up with a father that was not afraid to go out and get my supplies, or take care of me when I was having a rough cycle. I also got lucky, and am married to a wonderful man who is just as understanding. I think the "sons" should be included in these conversations so the daughters aren't made to feel "weird" around them. I also told them both why the girls go through it and not the boys...They laughed a lot, as kids will do....but they were also very interested and understanding. I believe my son will be just as wonderful toward women as my father and husband. Again, always be truthful with your kids....it is so much better and actually less stressful. There is too much at risk not to be these days. Sorry for such a long reply

Charity - posted on 11/14/2011

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With my daughter it was easy. She was always asking questions when I dealing with mine. So when the time came she was ready. Honestly she handled it better than I did. Could have done without the attitude though. Now, I get to look forward with it all over again with my youngest.

Michelle - posted on 11/14/2011

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My daughter is not scared but is totally uninterested in this talk. I can see is now starting to develop but how do you talk to a girl who isn't interested in listening about it?

Richelle - posted on 11/13/2011

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I would wait until you see signs of bodily changes coming on. I had to talk to my daughter before she was 10, but she's been wearing a bra since she was 9 1/2 and having other indicators. There's a really good book by American Girl at Barnes and Noble called The Care and Keeping of You: The Body Book for Girls that is really helpful.

Jennifer - posted on 11/13/2011

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I started when I was about 10. my mother brought it up years before then - in small bits, as I do now with my son when he asks questions about differences between the sexes. mention it to her - you might be surprised at what she already may know about it. children now are having sex as young as 12...I feel its best to up front and truthful - even if it needs to be done in small bits. ask her if she has any questions and go from there.

Dawn - posted on 11/13/2011

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I have had to speak with my daughter she is 9 she already has massive leg and pubic hair... it worries me but nothing i can really do she wants her legs shaved. if your seeing signs then talk to her..

Kelly - posted on 11/13/2011

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My little girl is 8. She asked me about it last night, because I just finished mine. She asked me why I had blood and where it was coming from and why I wear "diapers". (she means pads) She was in the bath and I was going to the bathroom. I was very open with her, she asked when she would start that, I told her when she's about 13. She asked if it lasted all the time. I told her it could last a week, every month, except when youre pregnant. She said she's going to have lots of babies. Lol

Sharlene - posted on 11/10/2011

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I can remerber my mum explaining about periods to me e.she tpld me at 11 yrs old when I was getting cramps and moods swing and boobs, I daughters's age 8 she's already getting abit of boobs but when she ready for that talk about periods Im ready that , so if you think your daugters ready sit down with and tell her like your mom told you be up front.all the best cheers

Donna - posted on 11/10/2011

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As your daughter's body starts to change you should start talking to her so she is not overwhelmed. I found a book that discusses all about them which she reads along with our talks. I know it's a touchy situation but it's better to talk to her now then later when the process starts.

Hilary - posted on 11/09/2011

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the book is called "The care and keeping of you" my daughter is13 and still refers to it often.

Liz - posted on 11/09/2011

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I started menstruating at 11 but luckily my mother had already discussed it with me several times and made sure that I had a packet of sanitary napkins in my school bag, just in case I started suddenly while I was at school.

Because she handled it a little ahead of time, was not embarassed herself (and so didn't communicate any fear or embarassment to me) and made sure that I was prepared, it made actually starting much less traumatic for me than it apparently was for many of my classmates.

I'll be doing the same with my daughter and would say that 10 onwards is about the right time, obviously depending slightly on the maturity of your daughter. :)

Lisa - posted on 11/08/2011

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My daughter will be 9 years in Dec. n she already knows about it. My 5 year old (a gal also) listens to that conversation too. They see the pads been advertised on telly n are curious to know what its all about. So i just decided to tell them the truth. Nowadays no more questions on that topic...LOL

Jessica - posted on 11/08/2011

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bring it up now....the more she knows about her body the more she will be prepared!!! (and so will u)

Wendy - posted on 11/08/2011

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I am in the same place as I have a 9yr old almost 10 have notyet had the conersation but was thinking it was time to..I have heard that American girl had a great book to help them understand things like this ..

Hilary - posted on 11/08/2011

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yes most definetly, she could start at any time. my daughter was 11. I got her all her favorites from the store ( ice cream etc) and her fav book from the library and she said she loved that, made her feel better hope this helps!

Renae - posted on 11/07/2011

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My daughter is only 3 but she has 5 brothers up to almost 13. We really like the books "It's Perfectly Normal" and "It's So Amazing" by Robie Harris. They are each rated by age and are a fun way to introduce reproduction to kids. We started having the conversation (it is more than one "talk") with our kids very young, my daughter has surprised more than one adult by referring to her vulva and my 5 year old can explain exactly how babies are made! There are so many good books out there, go to Amazon and peruse for a while. " The Care and Keeping of You" mentioned earlier is another good one. My town has a Youth Forum which encourages parent of similar aged kids to get together and talk about your experiences as a kid (what your parents told you) and what values you want for your own children. talk to someone at your local planned parenthood or teen pregnancy prevention group for tips on talking to your own daughter. Good Luck and be an "askable" parent!

Anna - posted on 11/07/2011

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My daughters have been around me from day one,in the bathroom or anywhere,they know mommy gets her bloody cycles,where she has to wear a pad;and they know that one day they will have to deal with it as well.I never made a big deal about it;it's part of life.Whenever they asked questions,they got answers.So they have known all about the menstration,puberty;how a womans body looks,etc. for years already.Then just a few month ago one night I had a talk with my 9 year old daughter about how babies are made,sex;etc.Again,I didn't make a huge deal about it;just told her the facts.I've always had an open relationship with my daughters;we can sit and talk about anything;so it wasn't uncomfortable or anything to talk about it to her.Honestly,I think you need to talk to her NOW.Sorry,but in my opinion you already waited a bit long.Some girls start with their period pretty young now days.My mom never told me anything,and I was too embarassed to talk to her about it;and the whole situation was less than ideal.I got used by my brother too,because I was never told anything.Mothers need to tell their daughters the facts of life before they find it all out from a friend or older sibling.

Casey - posted on 11/07/2011

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Argh, I know! One minute its all ages and stages, remove the bottle, sleep thru the night, first day of school.. now its all barbies and books and sleepover requests, discos at school and report cards!!

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I WISH! My girls turn 10 next month. I haven't figured out how to stop the growing up thing though, so I've just got to go w/ hoping I'm preparing them enough for it... cuz I'M sure not ready. ;)

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NOW! Well, actually a couple years ago, but it's too late for that.

Due to extenuating circumstances my girls were told some minimal details at 5. We went through the book 'The Care and Keeping of You' at 7 though.

Denikka - posted on 11/07/2011

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I really couldn't personally recommend any books for you, sorry :)
The one I used for myself is over 10yrs old and I can't remember the name of it, and my daughter is not even 1 yet, so I haven't looked into it yet.
I'm sure you could go to your local library or bookstore and ask someone who works there (preferably female :P) who would be able to guide to something age appropriate. Obviously you don't want to go with something like a medical textbook :P

Elizabeth - posted on 11/07/2011

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Thank you. Which book/s would you use today for you daughter Denikka? I'm afraid to flood her with to much information. Not real sure how to bring it up ... She is my first born. I can not pull from memory, my mom wasn't very mature.

Michelle - posted on 11/07/2011

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My daughter has just turned 9 and is starting to develop so we've had a huge talk about puberty and included menstration. I would talk to her about it now then it's less scary when it happens. Good luck as it's not an easy conversation lol

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