Boy and Girl sharing a room

Angie - posted on 11/14/2011 ( 76 moms have responded )

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Can you please give me your thoughts on girls and boys sharing a room? I do NOT think it's ok, but maybe I am overreacting. They are half brother and sister, ages 3 and 5.

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Sherri - posted on 11/15/2011

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Hell so many families have no choice and their kids share a room of different genders till they are grown. I can't possibly see why anyone would ever have a problem with it.



Who gives a rats ass if they know the difference in genders.



I personally think way too many people way over think such innocent things and make them into evil bad things that have no business being so.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 11/22/2011

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Oh my...The numbers of people who will assume that little ones sharing a bedroom will lead to exploration...

Children know what they are taught. If they are molested, then they will be likely to molest, and to start at an early age. But, honestly? Your average 3 year old is NOT going to fondle their 5 year old opposite gender sibling. Some people need to quit being over cautious.

And, family services are nanny staters. They want to dictate how you live. Is family services going to provide a larger home to a family who's opposite gender children are forced to share a room? I haven't seen it happen yet...

I have known opposite gender twins that shared a room their entire lives without a problem. It truly depends on the situation!

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 12/13/2011

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Shernell, it is more the manner in which you stated your opinion. It was quite pushy, and almost rude. While I respect your right to post your opinion, indeed, to have any opinion that you wish, I also respectfully request that, when offering that opinion, you take into account how it is worded. It may avoid confusion.

Also, graceful acceptance of criticism is a wonderful quality in an adult. A stubborn teenager starts yelling when corrected or criticized. An adult doesn't.

Emily - posted on 12/12/2011

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I have a 6 yr old boy, 2 yr old girl, and 1 month old girl, they all share a room. I live in a 2 bedroom apartment and can barely afford that. So moving so they can have their own rooms is out of the question. and @ Shernell, u are right everyone has thier own opinions but for you to tell someone they should have a cut off point when it comes to having a child, is for one none of your business and for two very disrespectful on so many levels.

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Ariana - posted on 10/03/2012

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I don't think it's a big deal. It's not like a 12 and 16 year old, they're little kids. Who cares?

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 05/07/2012

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No, Samantha, regardless of some of the ladies' responses, it's perfectly fine to have your kids share a room!

Samantha - posted on 05/07/2012

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Just want some advice I have a son that is 4 and I'm pregnant with a little girl. And once she is born my son will be turning 5 right after is it bad to have them share a room?

User - posted on 01/31/2012

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My son and daughter shared a room until they were about 5 and 7, only becuase I had no choice. As soon as I could afford a 3-bedroom, they got their own rooms. I don't think there's anything wrong with sharing a room until they become more aware of their differences and want some privacy.

Ania - posted on 01/29/2012

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I think it is fine until they hit puberty. They will figure out the ways to respect each others privacy. I know plenty of families like that. Of course not in the United States, because here everything is taboo

Sherreka - posted on 01/03/2012

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My brother and I shared a room with bunk beds until I was about 6 and he was about 8. At that point my parents moved me to the couch (we only had a two bedroom so they started work adding a third.) i myself at the time didn't get because it was nice having my big brother around because we lived in the country their were so many wierd sounds its was nice having him their to talk to till I fell a sleep but I think he was happy to have his own room.
Maybe talk to your five year old and see what they think about sharing a room.

User - posted on 12/23/2011

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I only have a 2 bedroom apartment. My son is 4 and my daughter is 11 months. And Im expecting my 2nd son in March. My 2 kids share a room (I know there a bit younger then 5 or 6 but still) They love it!. They sleep so well in the same room. But I would love to look for a 3 bedroom as my son is getting older but even then, if they want to share a room, Id still put them together until they need their space.

Becky - posted on 12/23/2011

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The kids will let you know, some feel more comfortable being together and some need their own space. If they are better seperate do it! By 7 or 8 they will want to be seperated anyways, if they get along well and really like to be together I dont see a problem as long as they are in seperate beds.

Sherri - posted on 12/21/2011

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Thank you Christina finally someone that is exactly saying what I have been saying. It is mind boggling to me that is where everone's minds these days goes. Sad, sad world we live in now a days.

Christina - posted on 12/21/2011

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I can't believe people are actually worried about them molesting each other. That's just bizarre. I'm dumbfounded. I don't see how it's wrong in any way. In most parts of the world everyone sleeps in one bedroom. I wouldn't want to have to share a room with my kids, but they definitely love to share a room together. They look forward to weekends, when they can all pile into one big bed and watch a movie until they fall asleep. They're 8, 6, and 3. The youngest is a boy, oldest are girls. My husband shared a room with his sister until she was in junior high. He was 4 years younger than her.

Casey - posted on 12/19/2011

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I shared a room growing up and all 3 of my kids share a room thats the size of our bedroom, the kitchen, bathroom, and living room. Its only for the time. My boyfriend and I moved in together. Him and his 2 kids and me and my son, We are looking for at least a 3 bedroom house. There is no reason why kids have to have their own rooms. My step kids and my son share a room and it just so happens that we have a girl and 2 boys. Its called making do with what you have. There are more and more Americans that are haveing to do that. And just so you all know my boyfriend and I both work 40+ hrs a week. Its not the money thats putting us in a 2 bedroom its just a matter of finding a bigger place in the neighborhood we want. I see nothing wrong with it if thats what has to be done. Now if you have boys and girls in the same room so you can have a guest room or office then yes there is something wrong with it. My step daughter does have her own space so its not like she doesnt have any time to be alone and if she wants we let her sleep on the couch. YES! she has her own bed.
Im just not sure why everyone is making a big deal out of this. Some people are in different situations then you are that doesnt make them a bad parent.

Kari - posted on 12/13/2011

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My almost 5 yr old son and 3 year old girl share a bed in their bedroom. They refuse to sleep separated. I think there is a certain age that they should have separate rooms(when they are old enough to know what things are.) But other than that I think it would be fine for a boy and a girl to share a room.

Sherri - posted on 12/12/2011

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@Shernell it isn't your opinion that is so much the problem but your judgments of others and their choices or options that is what most have an issue with.

Emily - posted on 12/12/2011

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I never said you couldnt say what you wanted. I was just stating that its disrespectful to tell someody that... I mean come on how would you feel if someone told you something like that?

Shernell - posted on 12/12/2011

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@ Emily last I check I can say what I want and she can have as many kids as she want to. It's she don't mind them being on top of each other, neither do I

Shernell - posted on 12/12/2011

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@ INK ETTE I CAN DO WHAT THE HELL I WANT AND IT'S NO NEED FOR ME TO GO SEE MY KIDS ENGLISH TEACHERS!!!!! NOW WAS THAT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU!!!!!!!

Shernell - posted on 12/12/2011

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Yes You Did, So It Shouldn't Matter What I Say Anyway. And On That Note GoodNight!!!!!!

Shernell - posted on 12/12/2011

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At Shawn, Well I Just Thank God I Have The Money And Space To Put My Kids In Their Own Rooms. Because It's Cool For A Little Girl To Have To Share A Room With Her Brother, And On that Note GoodNight!!!!!!

Sherri - posted on 12/12/2011

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Actually there is no such law in any state in the US. You are very mistaken on that. No state can dictate sleeping arrangements in a home nor will they.

They can recommend it if CPS is involved but there is no specific laws about such things. So evidently I doubt you actually checked such a thing.

Also look Shernell I already stated I had all boys anyways.

Shernell - posted on 12/12/2011

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Well That's What Was Told To My Co-Worker When SomeOne Call Child Services On Her, For Not Having Sperate Rooms For Her Son & Daughter.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 12/12/2011

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Shernell, there is no state in the US that I am aware of that has a state law that two children of separate genders must be in separate rooms. Please tell me which state, so I won't inadvertently break the law

Shernell - posted on 12/12/2011

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Well Because Last I Check It's State Law For A Boy And Girl To Have Their Own Room.

Sherri - posted on 12/12/2011

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Why because I have 2 kids in each room do I not have room for them? We have plenty of room for all of our kids. Why is it mandatory for a child to have there on room?

Shernell - posted on 12/12/2011

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Ok That's True, But If I Had No More Room For More Kids Then It Would've Been A Cut Off Point. Im Not Trying To Give Birth To Five Kids, If I Only Have Room For One. How Much Sense Would That Make.

Sherri - posted on 12/12/2011

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Well the difference is you only have 2 children. I happen to have 4. So big difference, not much I can do about the fact that we only have a 3 bedroom house with 4 kids.

Shernell - posted on 12/12/2011

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Again That's How You Do It And To Each It's Own, However Mines Have Their Own Rooms!!!!! It Wont Be No Sharing Or Pile Up's...

Sherri - posted on 12/12/2011

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Never there is never a problem with siblings sharing a room whether they be same sex or opposite sexes. I happen to all have boys with another boy on the way but if it had been a girl she would have shared a room with her 5yr old brother till the day they moved out. Since I had no bedrooms left.

Shernell - posted on 12/12/2011

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At Shawn,It Came Across That Way, And At The End Of The Day That's Your Opinion. And That Was Mine. However There Not Going To Be 3 & 5 Forever, And At What Age Should They Not Be Sharing A Bed Room.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 12/12/2011

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Shernell,

at 3 and 5, there is no development, let alone menstrual issues. Sleepovers don't have to be in the room, we always had our kids sleep in the front room during sleepovers.

I'm not trying to be argumentive, but I seriously doubt that Angie has anything to worry about at this point. Watch for behavioral clues, certainly, but freak out because of living arrangements? Nah...

Shernell - posted on 12/12/2011

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I Don't Think It's Ok, I Feel Like He Should Have His Own & She Should Have Hers As Well. I Say That Because As Time Goes On She Will Start To Develop & Get Her Menstrual, And Also Have Sleep Over With Friends From School. So I Don't Think You're Over Reacting Angie

Bonnie - posted on 12/02/2011

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They are brother and sister so there really shouldn't be any issues with it. If you don't have a choice and can't afford to move into something bigger than you do what you have to.

Angie - posted on 11/30/2011

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I appreciate that. :) I grew up with just sisters and I have just a daughter, so don't have any experience with little boys.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 11/30/2011

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Thanks, Angie. My only advice would be to tell your daughter that anyone touching her labia/vulva or private area needs to be told on, and if you're really that concerned, tell your ex that you'd like an evaluation of the boy. But, it sounds like they are normal kids, and giggly.

My parents bathed all 3 of us (2 boys 1 girl) together until I was about 9, and my brothers were 6 & 5. We're as normal adults as we can be...LOL...nothing ever happened

Angie - posted on 11/30/2011

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I guess I am worried about sexual behaviors, yes. They have talked and joked some about each other's body parts, but I'm sure are just curious like most kids. No, I'm not in the home, which is why I'm concerned. This situation is for the few days a week when my daughter is at her dad's house. I do trust he and his wife, and I am probably just being overprotective but wanted to get other mom's opinions.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 11/30/2011

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Angie, if you feel that the boy may have behaviors that will "rub off" on you daughter, exactly what behaviors are you worried about? Because if you're worried about sexual behavior, shouldn't you report that to someone in authority? Otherwise, they are 3 and 5. Other than giggling and talking and keeping each other awake, what behavior will result?

Also, are you in the home? At first it sounded like you weren't, and now it sounds like you are. Doesn't really make a difference, I guess, except if you aren't there, how do you witness any behavior?

Not trying to bash, or to be nosy. Just curious.

Angie - posted on 11/30/2011

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Thanks everyone for your opinions. They are all very helpful. I guess the main reason I worried about it is because both kids have different moms (dad's current wife isn't the mother to either child). The other mom is extremely irresponsible, partying all the time and with different men all the time. My daughter's step brother is a great kid, I just worry about what he's exposed to with his mom and don't want any of that to rub off on my daughter.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 11/30/2011

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Teresa, Thanks for filling us in on HUD/Sec. 8. I knew that they went by numbers for sure, but wasn't sure about genders any more.

Sherri - posted on 11/29/2011

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For those that have problems with it, can anyone actually explain why??

Tracey - posted on 11/29/2011

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maybe when they are babies. but i think the boy is too old to be sleeping in the same room as his sister.

Rachel - posted on 11/28/2011

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If they have a separate place to change, I don't see a problem until the girl is around 12 or so. It's not like they sleep in the same bed.

Kelly - posted on 11/28/2011

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At 3 and 5 they're fine in as shared room for now. You'll know by watching them as to whether they are too old to be in the same room. My brother has 2 girls and a boy all in the same room. His girls are 7 and 5 and his son nearly 3. I have a son and step daughter, 2 and 2 1/2 and they share a room and a bath when they're together.They've both had a looky at the other's 'bits', just to see what's going on.At that age if they're looking there's nothing sexual, just curiousity.

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Since I receive assistance from HUD (otherwise known as Section 8) I would like to add one thing... They USED to care about ages and sexes of kids in bedrooms and would fund accordingly. Now because of budget cuts... they fund for 2 people per room regardless of sex, age, or relationship. That would be why, as a single mom, I will probably NEVER be able to get my son out of my bedroom... cuz his 2 sisters have the other room. ;)

Crystal - posted on 11/28/2011

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There is no problem. We adults tend to make more things up in our heads than is in reality. I'm with Shawnn I believe it was...the only time a child is going to "explore" is if they have already been tainted by someone else...such as an adult. If a child has never experienced being molested, they aren't going to be curious about that. My kids have never shared a room but my son has crawled into his older sister's bed occasionally and still does it. They are now 14 & 11. He does it for comfort. Sometimes he's scared at night and just likes being in the room with someone. My kids have even slept on the floor of my bedroom when they were freaked out. Neither of my kids have ever been molested and neither have ever shown an interest in "exploring" the opposite sex. They just don't think like that because they've not been exposed to that. Kids only do what they see or what has been done to them. I've been a stay at home Mom all their lives and I've never left them alone with anyone I thought would do them harm so I'm 100% confident nothing has happened to them. That said...it really doesn't matter. It's all a personal choice. Again, too many parents/people overthink things and ultimately screw things up because they see something that isn't there. I think it's perfectly fine. Just make sure the kids have their own space to change clothes. My son doesn't even want ME in the room when he's changing. They learn modesty when you teach it to them. I've always told them it's inappropriate for them to be dressing in front of each other and so they'll find privacy. It's all how you teach your kids. If you don't teach them those things, then yes, you might have to worry. But if you have actual conversations with them and talk to them, they will understand and they will follow what you've taught. It's inactive parents who have problems with their kids. And for the record...I've been having the sex talk with my kids from the time they were 8-9 years old. It's not a topic that we discussed once and left it alone. It's something that's always being discussed and so far, my kids have been good about not getting too curious about it all. My daughter hasn't even kissed a boy yet. So I'm a firm believer in talking to your kids about anything and everything. The specific details you go into depend on you and your child. You know what they can and cannot handle/understand.

The decision is ultimately up to the parents. If the financial/housing situation necessitates siblings of the opposite sex sharing a room, then by all means, do what needs to be done. Again, one child can dress in the bedroom while the other dresses in the bathroom or they can take turns. There are ways to make it more comfortable for you. It's your discomfort that prevents you from wanting to let them share the room...not theirs. They don't know enough yet to be uncomfortable, but they will feel your discomfort and will then wonder what the problem is. And the government doesn't have the right to tell you what you're sleeping arrangemnts should be in your own home. Like someone stated: are they going to provide you with a house that allows everyone to have their own rooms? I think not. Families used to have to share one and two bedroom homes and the way the economy is these days...it's getting back to that. I know several people who are downsizing, including ourselves, because life has become more expensive, yet the income hasn't budged. The house we're moving into is much smaller and is technically a two bedroom house, but the owners converted the carport into another room, which makes it a three bedroom. We had to move, though, and if we had to, we would have made it so my daughter would have to share a room with her brother. He has a bunk bed so it's not a huge issue. Luckily, though, it has that "extra" room. But we still would have figured out something that would have worked without them being uncomfortable.

BTW...I'm studying psychology to become a counselor/therapist specializing in adolescents. No degree yet, but I'm getting there. :)

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