Corporal Punishment?

Angela - posted on 01/12/2010 ( 8 moms have responded )

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Do you think it's okay to spank your children on the bottom as punishment? What are other suggestions you may have to punish a child to get it through to them that what they did was very wrong and how important it is they never do it again?

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Angie - posted on 01/13/2010

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I think if a parent doesn't have the skills to parent without resorting to hitting their child, spanking is the answer. I haven't found an occasion where it was necessary, but my children are only 16, 11, and 9.

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Hillary - posted on 01/13/2010

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I have NEVER spanked/hit my daughter. If I hit her when she does something I don't like, how can I teach her not to hit others when they do something she doesn't like? I can't bear the thought of inflictling pain on her. Also, there has never been any proof that spanking is an effective punishment. If I were to hit her, it stings for 2 minutes and scares her. If I help her understand why what she did was wrong and give an appropriate punishment like removing a toy or using "the naughty chair", she remembers it alot longer.

Sylvia - posted on 01/12/2010

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No, I don't think it's okay. I mean, I'm not saying I would necessarily phone Children's Aid if I saw another parent spank their child (not that I ever have witnessed something like that, but I have heard one or two parents I know say that they have spanked their kids at least once), but I would never in a million years spank my own child, and I can't think of anything she could do that would be bad enough for me to feel justified in hitting her. Plus ... she's not allowed to hit people, so why should I be allowed to hit her? That makes no sense.

My feeling about punishments generally is that they're counterproductive. We try to let natural consequences take their course, or, if that's not possible, impose some kind of logical consequence to help the message stick -- though in most cases, seeing that we're upset is enough. But, for example, a couple of months ago I discovered that my DD (who's 7 and in grade 2) had stolen some treats from a classmate's lunch; I made her replace them from her Halloween stash and write an apology to the other kid -- "you did something wrong, so now you have to do your best to make it right" -- but I didn't make her apologize publicly, and I didn't make her sign her name on the apology note. She cried and told me it wasn't fair, but she went through with it, and afterwards she thanked me for making her do the right thing; and now she and the other kid are friends again. So she's seen that actions have consequences; she's learned that when you do something wrong, it's your responsibility to try to make things right again; and she's learned that when you make that effort, the situation gets better and you feel better. I don't see how she would have learned that from a spanking.

Different methods work with different kids, though, I guess.

Shulena - posted on 01/12/2010

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I believe in spanking but like the other moms, use it sparingly. I have found out over the years (my son now being 6yrs old) the older that he gets, the less I do spank. It usually only end up spanking him about 2-3times a year. However I also use other discipine tacts as well, such as time outs & taking aways items (such as his video games or extra cirrculm actitives). Hope that helps

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I agree, corporal punishment should be used sparingly. Our guidelines are #1-were they doing something possibly life-threatening to themselves or another child, and #2 if it's not life-threatening but you've had to get onto them too many times to count. My children are very tender-hearted, I rarely have to spank them. A friends son is very stubborn and aggressive, and a swat on the diaper is about the only thing that makes him understand he's doing something wrong. So alot depends on the child, also.

Melissa - posted on 01/12/2010

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I have always used the time out method. I don't like spanking. I'm not against it. I was spanked as a child. I don't hate my parents for it. It's just not what I choose to do as punishment for my son. That said, I have spanked my son once. And I used spanking bvery sparingly. I spanked my son when he was younger because he started going up the stairs to the pool deck and something that serious needs to get through to him. So, I spanked him and he never did it again. Or if he were to run into a street, I would have spanked him. Things like that I feel are definatly ok to spank. Like Stephanie sai, I think it should be used sparingly because some people loose there cool and just wail on there childs bottoms, and that's just too much. Hopw this helps. Best of luck!!

Stephanie - posted on 01/12/2010

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I think that for most children corporal punishment should be practiced very sparingly as aggression tends to lead to more aggression on the childs part. My son is about the same age as your daughter and we prefer to ground him. How long typically depends on the incident but normally it's a week. We take away whatever is the most important thing to him and that normally gets the point across. Kids tend will make mistakes so just try your best to stay calm and explain what they did wrong and then punish accordingly.

Christina - posted on 01/12/2010

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Yes I do think that it is ok. I think there are just sometimes that you have exhausted all other options and you just need to. Spare the rod spoil the child.

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