Defiant 7 y.o. girl.. What do I do?

Elaina - posted on 02/09/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Heres the scoop, i have 3 girls, 7, 4 and 3... my 7 yo keeps getting into trouble at school. Throwing temper tantrums and being naughty, yelling at the teacher, refusing to do her homework and even slamming her desk around and such. Her teacher usually keeps her in during recess to make her do her work and as her punishment. I have talked with her about this many times til I am blue in the face and it never stops. I have taken away privileges, I have grounded and I have had others talk to her about this and nothing seems to help. What do I do??

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Elaina - posted on 02/12/2012

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I am sure that she is looking for attention from me, which is very hard to give to any of them individually. I am a single mother and I work second shift. I hardly see them, since the oldest 2 are at school and ride the bus to daycare on the days that I work. I will try to spend more time with her alone and see if this helps because I am at the point of giving up. It is so hard to deal with these problems by myself. Thanks for your advice and I will be sure to tell you how it's going.

Deidre - posted on 02/10/2012

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As young as she is I know it may sound crazy, but she is hitting prepubescence. As hard as it is to be sweet and loving to a kid who is being mean to you, try to give her some quality alone time with mom. I know it may seem like rewarding BAD behavior, but that's what worked for me. I am raising 3 boys on my own and there is a pretty big age gap between my 12 yr old and my 5 year old. The youngest is 4. Anyway my eldest was really acting out and it turned out he was desperate for my individual attention. I hate it when kids act out, but sometimes it's all they know how to deal. ANY attention, even negative attention as long as they get it, is what's going on in their mind. Does she do these things with you at home as well as at school? I feel deeply that she wants you. Get a sitter for the others and start spending mommy and me time with her. You will really be surprised. I also went to counselling with my eldest when it got to the point where I wanted to give up. It REALLY helped our relationship. It taught us a different type of communication with each other. I recommend it for you two as well. The things you learn there will also assist you while parenting the younger girls.

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