Difficult 5 yr old

Janis - posted on 12/10/2012 ( 7 moms have responded )

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I have a 5 yr old daughter and since she started pre school this year has been almost unbearable in the mornings! She's fine until it's time to get dressed. Right now with it being colder she has to wear pants, long sleeves and a coat. Every day she wines how she doesn't like long pants, her shirt or her coat. It's a constant battle and I'm at my wits end! We no longer have tv in the morning and I get her up with plenty enough time for us to get ready and leave yet we are still late because I have to get onto her to get dressed. She's also becoming defiant and talking back to me and my husband. Sometimes if we are doing stuff together she's fine and sweet and nice and helpful then once we're done she does a 180 and is yelling and throwing fits. Any advice would be helpful. Thank you!

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Sarah - posted on 01/15/2013

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My kiddos are not this old yet, but my son does the same thing when it is time to get dressed. I know that we as parents think that because it is cold out and we would put on pants and long sleeves and a coat that our children need that too. However, I discovered with my son that he would get extremely hot wearing all that clothing. It was making him uncomfortable. I started opting for pants, but short sleeved shirts and a light weight jacket (something that should be worn in like spring or fall). He was much better for a few. Then he turned 2. Now he is Mr. Independent. He wants to choose his own clothes. Most of the time they don't match and not season appropriate (even though I change out to appropriate seasons when needed). He chooses what he wants to wear and it makes life so much easier.

So my suggestion would be maybe allow your 5 year old to choose her own clothes. Do it as a part of bedtime. Right before bed allow her to pick out tomorrows outfit. Don't fret about what it looks like. If you think she will get cold, put a pair of pants in her back pack as a back up. Tell her teacher what is going on and allow your daughter to find out what consequences are. If you don't wear pants when it is cold you get cold. She is 5, she is smarter than what we as parents sometimes think. She will figure it out. Maybe the pre school building is really hot as well. If it works then great. If this don't work, then maybe the behavior chart will work. Good luck!

Janis - posted on 12/11/2012

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That's what I've been thinking of doing. They do something similar to that at her school and I talked to her about it last night and she seemed excited about doing it. This morning was pretty good. I didn't have to fight her to get up or get dressed. I told her if she got dressed all by herself she would get a sticker. So I'm working on a 'good behavior' chart and she said she will put the stickers on.

Rachal - posted on 12/11/2012

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I do what y'all are talking about with my 4 year old daughter. She seems to act the way you described your daughter does. Defiant at times, sweet at others. Almost bi-polar(haha). Anyway. I do a star chart for my daughter, probably a little different than most. I just take a piece of printer paper, make 20 squares on there. Everytime she does something good (ex. clean her room, put her dish in the sink, etc..) I give her a star, but every time she is bad I take one off(and she also gets time out and no tv). And just to put the icing on the cake, I make HER throw the star in the trash can. It seems to be working wonders. Hope this helps! Good Luck!



also, when her star chart is filled, I take her to the store and she gets to pick out a piece of candy!

Janis - posted on 12/10/2012

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I've thought about doing something like that. Like a star chart and if she gets 5-7 stars in a week she gets some kind of treat but I wasn't sure if that was just bribing her.

Miss J - posted on 12/10/2012

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Try getting her a calendar and place a sticker on it or give her some sort or treat for each day that goes by without her active up

Janis - posted on 12/10/2012

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We do no TV and time out but that doesn't seem to phase her. She always says she won't do it again but then 10 min later she's acting up again. When she gets out of time out I try to talk to her about what she did wrong and she knows it is but she just keeps doing it.

Miss J - posted on 12/10/2012

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how do you disciplin her. Try giving her a time out inside her room and tell her she can only come out if she has to use the bathroom or when its time to come out. Tell her everyday she is rude that will be the routine....afterschool no tv, no playtime, no treats until her attitude gets better. Also reward her when she stays on task

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